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My little reward for losing 85 lbs!! 1ct diamond pendant... just a little somethin' from the hubby Now, I did want to reward myself at the -100 lbs mark, but who am I to tell the man no?! THANK YOU SLEEVE!!! What was some of your rewards for reaching a goal?

By reading my blog's title you no doubt know that I am a Type A personality. I've been this way for pretty much my entire life. The biggest hurdle for me in deciding to have WLS (for over 2 years now) is that I am the type of person who can usually do anything I set my mind to. I have always believed and found if one person could do something and I tried hard enough I could do it too. The problem is that there are truly some things for which I could use a little help. For me it is losing weight, keeping the weight off. For years I didn't want to believe that I needed help. Every Jan. 1st I thought, okay this year, I'll buckle down and just lose the weight. How hard could it be, people on TV, in magazines, etc. do this every day. I'll be one of them. I won't take the easy way out (WLS). So year after year, I not only didn't lose, I gained...and gained well. Did I mention I'm also a high achiever? If there were pounds to be gained, I gained them. It seemed like no matter what I did, the weight not only packed on, but packed on in abundance. I'd lose a bit and then gain more than I lost. Finally, I thought okay this is it. Obviously I need help so I'll go meet with a nutritionist. I did and let me tell you, I have never felt so confused/lost/helpless in all my life. Sure those pyramid charts look great but man, who in the world can construct a meal hitting every food group, with the right portions, and live any kind of life? I'd literally have to spend all day planning meals...who has that kind of time??? But I'm determined, I will do this, I need to do this I figured. So she and I came up with a menu. Well let me tell you about that menu...I ate that menu every day for 3 weeks. Why? I didn't want to eat anything wrong. So at my next apt she had me weigh in. Great, surely I would have lost something. Lord please let me have lost something. I stepped on the scale and sure enough I gained. Yup, with all that weighing and eating and buying ONLY what she told me to, I still gained weight. Talk about a bummer. Again, if there are pounds to be gained they would find me. I looked at her at that moment and said, I need more help. That moment was major for me. I'm not used to needing asking for help. That took both humility and courage for me to say that out loud. My Nut then looked at me and said surgery might be the answer for me. Then she looked at me and asked, so how was it? By this time I'm sad, frustrated, and ready to shake this little woman. How was what I asked her (not in my most pleasant voice that's for sure). She said how was it to weigh your food and restrict your diet. I told her at first it was a challenge (although I'd done it before during other countless diets) but had I lost weight I'd think it was worth it. I wasn't hungry this time like during the other diets. She then went on to explain that my body was in starvation mode. I wasn't eating enough (a big girl not eating enough...really????) and by finally eating the right foods in the right quantities, in the long run with surgery I could meet or even surpass my weight loss goals. Clever! She helped me see that WLS was not in any way the easy way out and that help was available if I would just get over myself seek it. I needed that. I had mixed feelings about surgery because again (my mind began telling me) I could do this if only I just buckled down...or so I thought. It took a while but now I'm at peace with my decision. There is still some disappointment in myself that I could not somehow just do something that would make the weight fall off. But I'm dealing with that. I also had to realize that it is okay to ask for help. That asking for help is not being weak, but rather being wise. This is going to be a challenge but I'm approaching this process with a feeling of relaxation and a one-day-at-a-time attitude as opposed to an I-have-to-control-this attitude. I understand I have to be in control of what I eat and how I exercise my body, but I don't have to feel like I need to control every minute of this process. That helps a lot and makes this much different than any of the other times I've tried to lose weight.

It's Monday, and the good news is that it seems that the sharp, debilitating pain I was having on my left side has dissipated. It is now just a sore area that is tolerable. Prayers work! The bad news, the local surgeon I was going to try to switch over to will not follow up with me. He apparently is not doing sleeves after all. So I am still debating about following up with my original surgeon for the long run. I still think I will try to find another office-I have just really lost all faith in him and his office staff. But I am SO GRATEFUL to my Lord for touching my body and giving me relief! I think this is how I was supposed to feel at 2 weeks out. I really can't pinpoint when the pain stopped, but I realized on Sunday morning that getting out of the chair did not elicit that terrible stabbing pain. I kept expecting it to grab me all day, but nothing I did made it come....I pray it stays that way! Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support, hopefully now I can focus on losing weight and rocking my own lil' sleeve!

I think we have all felt that okay this is going to be the year, month or week we were going to start. Some of us prevailed and some have failed. I have the band and I thought that it would help me achieve my goals. I played sports in high school and college and know how to work out and eat but despite it all I still gained. I think we all have this idea of how we should be and how we are going to get there and start out but when we dont get the results we start to fall off the wagon. We all need help and most us dont want to admit it but for us its food we think we should be able to control it but we cant and our bodies react by getting bigger, which none of us want to see so we avoid full body pictures or try to stand behind others. I just hope whatever you decide its the right path and that it will work out for the best.

Thnx!.... only thing is, now I don't know what to ask for lol!!

Nice idea Amanda, you're a fashionista

Elmor Fudd, gotta love his accent!

my date is also Nov.6 having the same feelings wow,wow, ooooooooomy lol when I go to thinking too much about it I pray and talk too GOD

I follow you and it's always a blessing. Thank you for your inspiration.

I love that dress!You go girl. I am so happy for you.