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IT HAS BEEN FIVE MONTHS SINCE MY LIFE CHANGED!! I walked in this morning wearing a new outfit. Complete chaos lol!!!! My "friend" started acting up again. Ever since my surgery, she started a crazy eating pattern and exercise day and night it seems like. She sat there and said NOTHING. Once the other coworkers walked away, we started discussing the day and plans for the weekend. She found a new cool place and was thinking of going there Saturday night. I said awesome and then she said this: this is going to be fun, although I am not sure of "this" new you. You are no longer the beautiful SAFE friend. WTF?!? I smiled and said " what you mean to say is, I am no longer the fat friend and you have seen nothing yet cupcake" This is fuel for me. I am determine to be the beautiful, skinny, unsafe friend. Her and others that think like her, have no idea what's coming P.S I learned today (from my NUT) it is important to keep my calories up above 600 calories. For my body to process protein properly and boost weight loss, my caloric intake have to be at a good level. From 600 to 800 but no higher than 1000 with exercise of course.

Hello fellow sleevers. It's been two months since my last entry and this is because I am one of the unlucky few that got a leak post surgery. I was still in hospital when it happened and was rushed into emergency surgery two days after my original operation. I had a brief stint in ICU and then a two month stay on the surgery ward at my local hospital. I can't describe how awful this time has been. There were several complications in addition to the leak (although I had no indicators of being high risk prior to surgery) so it wasn't just the leak but without the leak they wouldn't have happened. For anyone considering this surgery, I don't want to put you off or to scare you. But even though I was aware that this could happen to me I had no idea what it would mean. So I just wanted to break it down a little - for me it was: Intense pain following the surgery; Heart rate over 150 beats per minute Two central lines inserted in my neck Inability to breathe properly 6 hour emergency surgery Two stomach drains Drips Being fed through drips for 7 weeks Pneumonia Collapsed lung two drains inserted through my back to move the fluid from my lung so it would reinflate Inability to sleep lying down for two months due to drains and drips etc No privacy Inability to see to my basic needs without help Depression Anxiety countless tests Know what you are getting into. Even though I am now home, I am not sure that I would have gone through with the surgery had I known. I hope that over time I will feel better about that . Anyway, I hope that anyone going into the surgery has a better idea of the risks and that you make an informed decision. I have to note that my surgeon and her team were amazing!! They kept me alive and got me home and for that I will be forever grateful!

Hey everyone... On November 16th it's my last dietitian visit. Last week I went to the heart doctor.. he said everything looks great. Today I went to the lung doctor he told me my lungs are perfect but he wants me to do this machine over night (at home) to monitor how I sleep. GREAT I gained about over 20 pounds since I started this journey and feel really down about it. I should be getting surgery Dec/Jan. & I'm VERY excited! Talk to meeee I want to hear your stories.

Whoa! It seems like yesterday, I wrote 90 day countdown and here it is already past my checkpoint of 60 days. Where has the time gone. I have spent time researching, reading, watching videos, encouraging new comers, supporting vets all the while...stressing over my own circumstance. It is a good stress though, because I am anxious for the things to come. I already anticipate greater opportunities for my life. It starts with my health but encompasses a great deal more. I'm here and I can't stop until I have reached my goals. 55 days will soon be 5 days and before you know it I will be PatientlyWtng no more! Be Blessed!

Yes, the "C" word = CANCER! Bare with me as this will be a long post.... My dad was diagnosed with colon & liver cancer back in Feb of 2011. He was given 6 - 9 months to live. He had the large mass from his colon removed the following month after his original diagnosis, and since the cancer had matasticised (spelling?), or should I just say spread, having chemo would have been fruitless. That was "20".... yes, I said "20" months ago. Dad i now 86. Dad keeps himself busy, and his original response to the cancer, was that he had lived 84 yrs at the time, and I guess it's his time. What a frigin great attitude man. Dad is also my mom's caregiver. Even though she complains about him, and fights with him, he adores her & takes great care of her. She's not in the best of health, her memory is really starting to go (84 yrs old) and really isn't able to take care of herself (taking meds, running errands, driving...). Dad makes sure she is taken care of. In addition, he ALWAYS keeps himself busy, ALWAYS! While mom can't walk around a lot, dad enjoys doing projects. Earlier this year, he built my 19 yr old son a desk for college. A homemade desk! At 86! With Stage 4 cancer! We've gotten used to the idea that dad has cancer, but since he's beaten the odds thus far, it's hard to think that one day he will be taken. It was hard, that is, until recently. You see my husband & I were trying to figure out why I've been suddenly struggling with tracking my food intake, getting enough protein every single day, and eating enough overall. What caused this sudden change? Dad went to the Dr 2 weeks ago for a cough he couldn't get rid of. The Dr decided to take an x-ray knowing he had cancer & to make sure everything was OK. It wasn't OK. I'll be damned if the frigin' "C" word spread to his lungs... :-( He has an apt with his oncologist on the 30th, where we'll find out how far it's spread. He's still in good shape & "looks" ok, but you can see he's starting to get a little more tired. He takes pain med every morning for the pain in his stomach area (liver). With that said, I've been pretty stressed out, but not really letting it show. I have a difficult time sleeping soundly at night because I worry about my mom when my dad goes, and my dad having to deal with all the pain & suffering that comes with... with that #$%^&* "C" word. Obviously, it's having a bigger impact on me than I realized. It breaks my heart, and I worry. I'm no longer really focused on myself as much as I should be. I want my dad to go peacefully when his time comes. I want my mom to be ok. I'm not ready for this. I HATE THE "C" WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure really when it happened, I just know that I was having some amazing weeks. I was losing 5 pounds, 3 pounds, woo hoo go me. And then thud. It's TOM's fault I'm sure. It is his week to visit. Being a PCOS'er I'm not used to this, but I'm having regular periods now. Almost like clockwork every third week of the month, here comes Tom. This time, Tom brought on the funk. My hormones must have been going banannas because I was an over emotional twit. I cried at the drop of a hat, everything was touchy for me. I was grumpy one minute hating the world, and the next I was crying at the cute puppy. Crazy. So, hormones out of wack, plus being stressed out over lack of weight loss, scary hair loss, money, wedding planning, house building, and work burn out... I just wanted to curl in a ball and let the world spin on for a few weeks with out my participation. Thankfully, Tom is packing up to move on out this month, and my hormones are getting back in place. I'm feeling back to my old happy self, and can jump back on the fitness wagon. I get really, really frustrated when these moods hit me know, because they derail me everytime. I haven't experienced one of these depressions like this one in a long, very long time. No matter how many times I told myself I had no reason to feel sad, I just wanted to cry and hide away. I'm engaged to my best friend, and I'm so in love with him! I've lost nearly 70 pounds! I have the cutest little Shih Tzu, and so smart! I'm getting my first house built! I'm moving closer to my family and old friends! Yeah... thats whats wrong. I'm so ready for all these things to happen, that I'm wanting to turn the page on where I am right now. I'm so close to having everything that I'm not living in the present, and embracing these ending steps of this part of my journey. I'm ready to be out of my apartment, and in my house. Away from this crowded suburbian area I live in, and back to a sllightly slower rural subarbian neighborhood. I'm ready to reach my goal weight! I'm anxious too, since my NUT and doctor want me to reach it by 12/31 as my goal. I've got to really hussle if I'm going to make that happen. Last weigh in I was 218 (pre-Tom... I refuse to weigh myself while he visits). I'm hoping to weigh myself on Sunday and see at least 215. I can't wait for one-derland! I'm sooo stinkin' close! I haven't been there as an adult.. I was close, 203 in about 2004, but never hit it. I've come a long way baby... I'm going to get there this time.

Hello everyone, My name is Michaela. I am a 33 year old and I am just starting out the process for WLS. I have struggled with my weight for years. I feel like someone else trapped in a fat suit! Does anyone get that lol? I go to the seminar on Monday. Does anyone have any advive on how to get things going and/or how the process works. I know there will be alot of things that I will have to do but could use some advice.I am spuer stoked to have found this website and excited to have support and meet people who have gone through the same thing I am.