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Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts... I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged... I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol... I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink... But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments... HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8) LW 201.2 CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal] GW 155

So I would be a big fibber if I said this week was easy. I am kinda falling apart, I am snapping at my poor husband but eat a cupcake (3) in front of a all liquid diet wife. I almost punched him, and his mom for sending them home with him! I just had a sugar free apple cider and walked away VERY grumpy. Only 3 more days of this! Then two more weeks, lol. I am off of my soap box and will realx about this, it's the beginning of my new life.

Been a rough few days around here. Friday was the type of day that made me realize I'm really not a young kid anymore. You watch the generation ahead of you deal with the struggles of their own mortality and reality sets in that there is nothing you can do to change the cycle of life. All you can do is try and make the best of every situation and lend them a smile and cherish every moment you have with them... Yesterday we said goodbye to my Uncle who lost his battle with brain cancer at the age of 68. He fought the good fight and remained optimistic right up until the very end. It was very hard to watch my Father come to terms with this and pay his respect. My Father and my Uncle have walked similar paths. My Father had part of his lung taken due to Cancer and when he was being treated for that they discovered he had bladder cancer. After months of preparation and chemo they took the bladder. He was pronounced Cancer free for a short time but the lung cancer came back and he is just now finished 6 weeks of chemo and radiation. Now we wait for him to heal up and let his body recuperate then they will do another scan and hopefully he will be clean of cancer. My Father had 7 brothers and he is now 1 of 3 that is left. I can't even begin to imagine how he feels.

I made it somewhere I thought I would never be again, and saw a number I thought I'd never see at the beginning of my weight. ONE!!! I made it to ONEderland this morning, and even though I expected it to be there since I was 201 yesterday it still shocked me...I carefully stepped off the scale, grabbed my phone, stepped back on and snapped a picture. I am so proud of this picture, it's like a badge of honor. I did it, and I am so thankful!

2 weeks ago today I had 85% of my stomach removed. Wow, I really did it. I am still uncomfortable-pain in my left side continues, and even extended around to the left side of my back-like pain through and through from front to back. MD says its normal-don't worry. Ok, sure. My regret is that I ended up telling almost everybody, and now I'm getting those looks-you know the kind-"maybe you shouldn't have done this", "maybe you should have tried harder at dieting/exercising, etc", "so sorry, but you did this to yourself!" . Good grief, I know I should be thankful I have not had worse complications, I'm able to drink just fine, haven't vomited since leaving hospital, no leaks (so far), and I have been able to complete my online college course with an "A" , so I haven't lost brain function due to lack of calories! But I can't roll over in bed without horrible, tearing pain. I can't sit still very long without the burning irritation driving me nuts, and I can't pick up my grandsons or sit on the floor, or bend over.....:wub. Ok, 2 weeks down, 2 weeks till I have to return to work-it WILL GET BETTER , right? I did get some good news, I broke my stall- down 2lbs this morning from last Monday. Of course, 2 lbs is good, but was hoping for more in these early weeks. I suppose it will start going faster once I can work out again. We shalll see what next week brings.....

It has been a while since I logged in here. But Almost 3 years later I am 6 pounds from goal weight of 140 and I have lost 100 pounds! I lost 68lbs in first year and 20 lbs each year thereafter. I have not worked out so would have been faster if I did that! But went to see Dr Rantis today and band position looks good! I have a 10cc band and it is filled to 5.25ccs and no more restriction needed! I am a size 6 and it feels great! Foods that have been eliminated from diet are Soda and Soft Bread. Everything else is eaten on strict portion control! This has been the best decision I have ever made! I have had no health or complication issues and blood work keeps coming back good. I am starting a home workout routing - Jullian Michaels Body Revolution to tone up. I have the occasional times that I eat too fast or dont chew enough and I get stuck but I have managed that pretty well by now. So for now, I am very happy and hope to reach my goal weight very soon and get back into shape!

These past few weeks have been tough as the all so sought after 199 has been so elusive..On 09/28/12 I weighted 203.4 and so was pretty confident I could hit 199 by the following week. My confidence was only heightened when on Wednesday, 10/03/12 I was 201.2..I just knew by the 10/05/12 I could shake off another 1.5lbs to finally join the 100 club...Well, I jump on the scale all excited and low and behold what pops up...199 even...Oh yeah oh yeah...So you know us scale obsessed folk, we have to double check, triple check, quadruple check...Well 199 never came back up...It kept reading 202...I was crushed...I told myself well you clearly are way close for 199 to even pop up because there was a time you were so far away from 199, the scale never gave a false read of 199..No doubt I am happy about my progess...31lbs and 21 inches and 4 sizes (and counting) all in 7 weeks..I just am panting for my first goal of 199..I will admit I was not as diligent about logging my food these past couple of weeks as I was previously so it is likely my carb intake got the best of me...So this is one thing I will commit to doing as it will be key to my success as well... But no sense of whining about that...Instead, I am focusing on things I can change...and that is increasing my cardio and strength...So this past week I started Insanity, again...I did it about two months prior to surgery and while it is still hard now, it was so much harder then...30lbs make a difference...My stretches are better...My form is better and I have an even greater motivation knowing I am helping Pedro (my sleeve) do some of the heavy lifting...I am remixing Insanity a bit...Instead of doing it 6 days a week, I am doing it 5 days a week, skipping the recovery day and instead running on the day of recovery...Still getting my heart rate up and helping out my running game...I would love to do a half marathon in April or May of 2013...And speaking of running my running game has gotten so much better...When I first started exercising after surgery, it was taking me 60 minutes to walk 3 miles...Now I am doing 3 miles in 43 minutes...As I cut down on the 5 minutes of walking at the beginning and interchange 1.5 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking, it will only get better...Currently, I walk the 1st five minutes (3.5mph)...run a minute (5.5-6.0mph) and walk for minute and half (3.5)..My goal is to get it to 30 minutes... Over the past couple of weeks, I have had increasing comments about how good I look...The folk that know about the surgery talk about how well I look losing the weight and that they can tell I am working out in the process as I am looking toned...A close friend of mine says you no longer look big...(oh the honesty) you just kinda blend in...Not big...not small..just about the size where no one notices your weight either way...Oh the honesty of a guy but I will still take it...lol...And a couple church friends talked about my saggy pants...Such a good feeling...I am slipping in pants I bought, two years ago and never could wear...Shirts I had given up on wearing because my belly fat/rolls showed too much...I havent worn my spanx (fool them to look thinner underarmour piece) but once (with a form fitting dress)in the past month...The muffin tops and the back fat is slowing fading away...It is such a good feeling. HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8) LW 203.4 (Week 6) CW 201.2 GW 155

Okay, so I just had my band removed and it's the worst experience ever. I honestly don't want to have another surgery EVER. I have been scared before but nothing like this. I don't believe I am going to go through with the sleeve now, I don't want to go under again or have this much trama. Weird thing is I almost feel good about that decision!

I thought I'd update, work and life have been busy, I think the last time I blogged here was right after my first fill, and I have my 2nd one in five more days. I've lost 34 lbs. since my surgery at the end of June. My struggle with exercise is an on-going thing, I just can't get myself to just do it. Eating is easier as in I don't do a lot of it, I don't think about it much and when I do it's because I have to go out to eat. That has always been the hardest for me, making good choices when I'm looking at a menu and then at other people's plates is HARD, but I'm doing it. Last week at a birthday dinner I had a salad...actually it was lettuce and dressing...because everything else on the menu was not for me. Everyone else enjoyed the family style feast of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, BBQ chicken, baked beans, buttery green beans, chicken fried steak and biscuits...that was like my own version of hell for about two hours, but I did not put a single "bad" thing into my mouth. While everyone left there stuffed and feeling gross, I left with a happy tummy and a happy heart. When I got home I had a little grilled chicken, and it tasted amazing. Another victory...I'm thankful.

Wow...where do I start.... I up my workout game this week. Moved from 2.5 miles to 3 miles of walking this week. I am really loving this sleeve knowing that the fruits of my workout will reflect in my body transformation. I walked into my office yesterday and one of the ladies said I looked stunning. It did wonders for my inner self. In fact, a number of people are commenting on my weight loss. I went to a BBQ on Labor Day (dat was torture) and I girl I had not seen in a few months, told me I had lost weight and looked good...Made me feel all giddy..especially since I am still about 50lbs shy of my final goal...I can only imagine what that will look like. But back to the BBQ...There was so much food and drink...I think I missed the alcohol more than I did the food. BBQ is almost a synonym for drinking and all could have was my light pink lemonade...The compliments made it better though...lol... This week also represents the week, I put on a two pair of shorts I could not wear pre-surgery and a pair of jeans...One pair of shorts was actually loose...I have this lil dress that I wore in the day that I absolutely loved. I am not sure if I would wear it again as an outfit as it is dated but I kept it because I wanted to get back into it...The day that happens....I think I am going to hit the floor....(but I also plan on taking pics to mark that day). I told my mom about the surgery this week. I had not told her before because when I tried feeling her out about it, she had so much negative stuff to say so I left her out of one of the most important decisions of my life. I felt bad and underhanded but I needed to mentally prepare for this surgery and so could not deal with her opinions. She still had some stuff to say about it but now that it is done, I do not receive her comments as hard. This Sunday I am able to start soft foods. I am so happy...These last two weeks I have really begun to miss food. I have planned about 30 first meals...lol..My body is over the protein shakes so I need some natural protein. My stomach is upset with the protein shakes. As I begin to eat, I am hoping I can once again tolerate them as they offer a good influx of protein if you are struggling to get it in. I am still not having regular bowel movements without assistance of a stool softner. Driving me crazy as I went everyday so to be only able to go once a week with assistance gets me so out of sorts. But with all that said...where I am today...I think I am beginning to see some changes..I measure next Friday so I am excited to see what those numbers reveal. VSG 08/17/12 HT 5'8 HW 232 (08/13/12) SW 227 CW 208.8 (-23.6lbs) I will take it...I had a goal (one of many) to be 205 by 09/17. I am on target to make it happen...(Sleeve don't fail me now..lol)