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So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about. It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though! I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite. So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly. I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible. October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream. Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

"You're only nineteen." "You don't need to have surgery." "Losing weight isn't impossible. If I can do it, anyone can." "How is it even possible to not lose weight." Sometimes not everyone understands another's decisions. Which is totally rational. Not one person has gone through the same thing as another. In my eyes that gives no one person grounds to judge another person on their decisions. I am nineteen. This is true. But what makes my surgery so much more taboo than another person's surgery? What makes my surgery different that a girl my age getting a boob job, or a nose job? I can't do something to benefit my health, and my over all apperance? To create something better for myself; No matter what the cost. I understand why people believe I shouldn't get this surgery. I get it. I'm young. But the great thing is that I am having a procedure done, early on in my life, that will teach me about the lifestyle change I have to make. In order for me to live a healthy, happy life I believe that I need to have this done. Not only because I know I will be more confident, but I will be able to step away from being a prediabetic as well as my sleep apnea. I used to dream, as a little girl, of what it would be like to feel pretty. To be comfortable. To walk around in my own skin and not feel like I was disgusting. Somedays I didn't want to leave the house. I felt repulsive. I felt like it would be better for the world, and myself if I just didn't go to class that day. No one would have to look at me, and I wouldn't have to look at everyone else...looking at me. For whatever reason. I know that this deicision is the best thing I could do for myself. I know that because I am young, I can change my whole life because of this. And I'm excited for it. I am excited for the new me. I deserve it. My surgery date is October 10, 2012. I am so unbelieveably excited to start my life.

These past few weeks have been tough as the all so sought after 199 has been so elusive..On 09/28/12 I weighted 203.4 and so was pretty confident I could hit 199 by the following week. My confidence was only heightened when on Wednesday, 10/03/12 I was 201.2..I just knew by the 10/05/12 I could shake off another 1.5lbs to finally join the 100 club...Well, I jump on the scale all excited and low and behold what pops up...199 even...Oh yeah oh yeah...So you know us scale obsessed folk, we have to double check, triple check, quadruple check...Well 199 never came back up...It kept reading 202...I was crushed...I told myself well you clearly are way close for 199 to even pop up because there was a time you were so far away from 199, the scale never gave a false read of 199..No doubt I am happy about my progess...31lbs and 21 inches and 4 sizes (and counting) all in 7 weeks..I just am panting for my first goal of 199..I will admit I was not as diligent about logging my food these past couple of weeks as I was previously so it is likely my carb intake got the best of me...So this is one thing I will commit to doing as it will be key to my success as well... But no sense of whining about that...Instead, I am focusing on things I can change...and that is increasing my cardio and strength...So this past week I started Insanity, again...I did it about two months prior to surgery and while it is still hard now, it was so much harder then...30lbs make a difference...My stretches are better...My form is better and I have an even greater motivation knowing I am helping Pedro (my sleeve) do some of the heavy lifting...I am remixing Insanity a bit...Instead of doing it 6 days a week, I am doing it 5 days a week, skipping the recovery day and instead running on the day of recovery...Still getting my heart rate up and helping out my running game...I would love to do a half marathon in April or May of 2013...And speaking of running my running game has gotten so much better...When I first started exercising after surgery, it was taking me 60 minutes to walk 3 miles...Now I am doing 3 miles in 43 minutes...As I cut down on the 5 minutes of walking at the beginning and interchange 1.5 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking, it will only get better...Currently, I walk the 1st five minutes (3.5mph)...run a minute (5.5-6.0mph) and walk for minute and half (3.5)..My goal is to get it to 30 minutes... Over the past couple of weeks, I have had increasing comments about how good I look...The folk that know about the surgery talk about how well I look losing the weight and that they can tell I am working out in the process as I am looking toned...A close friend of mine says you no longer look big...(oh the honesty) you just kinda blend in...Not big...not small..just about the size where no one notices your weight either way...Oh the honesty of a guy but I will still take it...lol...And a couple church friends talked about my saggy pants...Such a good feeling...I am slipping in pants I bought, two years ago and never could wear...Shirts I had given up on wearing because my belly fat/rolls showed too much...I havent worn my spanx (fool them to look thinner underarmour piece) but once (with a form fitting dress)in the past month...The muffin tops and the back fat is slowing fading away...It is such a good feeling. HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8) LW 203.4 (Week 6) CW 201.2 GW 155

today I weighed 198 pounds for the first time in many years. It seems I really did need an attitude change...lol The food is still mostly proteins.No obsessive behavior there...a few carbs makes no difference but boy do more exercise make a huge difference. We now run up to 6 km 3 nights a week.It is still 95 degrees some nights and it takes a lot of mental strenght to go out there.But I want to lose weight. Tuesdays and Saturdays we play roun robin squash for more than 2 hours. Sundays and Tuesdays I have reformer pilates class.On Monday,Wednesday and Friday we run. I also try to do some circuit training in the gym twice a week.Should step this up a Little to build more muscle but its a work in progress. I am very,very,very,very achy all over.My right leg (in front from the thigh right down to my lower leg) aches all the time and sleeping without pain killers is DIFFICULT.But I want to be thin. We went to a Ill Divo concert last night and this morning my friend told me that I looked very pretty last night.She says people looked at me.This really freaked me out as I am tall and my hearts desire has always been to just blend in with thw crowd.Now I feel even taller for some reason and I know one notices taller people just because we stand out.All this means I have to start dealing with my fear of man or my life might be a little difficult in future. I will post pics of before and after tomorrow if I switch on my mac.Ipad does not upload onto this website and I cannot figure out how to upload with my Iphone. So,I've now lost 99 pounds.To celebrate we are going for a run tonight.Also to see how far we can run without stopping so that we can start with a more structured running program