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I think one of the hardest things we deal with is the advice of others who may mean well but often don't understand why we need surgery. Click below to go to the blog The Advice Of Others

Week 26 Last week’s weight – 198.8 This week’s weight – 194.8 Total weight lost this week – 4 (happy dance!) Beginning weight – 246 lbs Total weight loss since surgery – 51.2 lbs Woo Hoo….I finally broke the last few weeks of yoyo’ing and hit the 50 lb mark in my weight loss (half way to goal!). I definitely did it through drinking a lot more water. I am still doing CrossFit as my main form of exercise (3x a week). I can feel myself getting stronger and more coordinated with the exercises but I definitely have to scale back a lot of the workouts. I’m ok with that mainly because I would like to be tone and stronger and not bulky. My eating hasn’t been too bad this week. The hardest part of the day, for me, is getting home from work. Usually I am either bored or trying to avoid housework or homework so eating sounds good (luckily with my sleeve I am extremely limited with what I can eat). I don’t always make the best choices though. I now officially fit into size 16 pants (from a 22W!). I bought 16’s from both the Eddie Bauer outlet and Target and they fit fine. I waffle in shirt size from a large to an XL. I bought a L from Eddie Bauer and stretched the crude out of it over the back of a large padded computer chair we have (it was tight across my belly fat). It is still a little tight across my bosom but I wore a sweater over it so it wasn’t too noticeable. Speaking of bosoms, I’ve gone from being at 42DD to a 40D (so I’ve had to buy some new bras). Until next week!

I thought I'd update, work and life have been busy, I think the last time I blogged here was right after my first fill, and I have my 2nd one in five more days. I've lost 34 lbs. since my surgery at the end of June. My struggle with exercise is an on-going thing, I just can't get myself to just do it. Eating is easier as in I don't do a lot of it, I don't think about it much and when I do it's because I have to go out to eat. That has always been the hardest for me, making good choices when I'm looking at a menu and then at other people's plates is HARD, but I'm doing it. Last week at a birthday dinner I had a salad...actually it was lettuce and dressing...because everything else on the menu was not for me. Everyone else enjoyed the family style feast of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, BBQ chicken, baked beans, buttery green beans, chicken fried steak and biscuits...that was like my own version of hell for about two hours, but I did not put a single "bad" thing into my mouth. While everyone left there stuffed and feeling gross, I left with a happy tummy and a happy heart. When I got home I had a little grilled chicken, and it tasted amazing. Another victory...I'm thankful.

I have two sons and one daughter. My boys are the oldest, Eric is 31, Adam is 26, and Rachael is 23. They are all adults and I am proud of all of them. My daughter was one of the first people I told as we have a close relationship. My boys were both in the Army and are very physically fit and active. I had chosen not to tell them of my surgery earlier as I feared their reaction and the look of disappointment from them. But I finally came out to them this week. Adam lives in Anchorage, Alaska and I had to tell him over the phone, which was not the best situation. He was confused at first, then started with the questions, "Why?" "Can't you just go on another diet?" "What if something happens?" . So I tried to explain the physiology to him and eventually just tried to describe how my heath could be improved over the long term with this procedure. After we hung up he texted me that he is just worried about the possibilities of something going wrong and he's not ready to lose his momma, but he understands that I need to improve my health and he supports me 100%. It made me cry. Then the next night I went to dinner with my oldest son and his wife and my grandsons. I had already told his wife the week before (and I think she let the cat out of the bag) and while sitting in the living room before dinner (just he and I) I said I needed to come clean about my surgery that was coming up on Monday. At first he said he thought my surgery was later in the month but then he said, "ok?" . I said I will be having more than a hiatal hernia repair, actually the surgeon will be removing a large portion of my stomach. He just looked at me and said "ok". I said this is to help me not only lose weight but to maintain it over the long term. He said, "ok, is it anything I should be worried about?" I said, not anymore than any other surgery. He said, "ok". THAT WAS IT. I don't know if I'm relieved at his reaction or saddened that he apparently doesn't care. I'm trying to stay positive and think that probably his wife told him already and he had gotten over the shock before talking to me. She is a nurse also and Eric is so VERY not medically inclined. I think its ok he doesn't know, or care to know, all the possible complications. Now I feel like I've told everyone that matters and I can go into surgery in peace.

I am working on my Master's of Science degree and hope to gather several responses. Would you like to be a part of research by sharing your experience after gastric bypass surgery? The survey is completely anonymous and asks questions about your body image perceptions and alcohol usage one year after having bariatric surgery. Just click on this link or copy into your browzer to complete the survey. http://nnu.us.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_aXzZzHDDZiajdC4 Thank you in advance for contributing to this all important research. Feel free to pass this survey opportunity along to anyone who has had the surgery. Warm Regards, Northwest Nazarene University

So which came first...my obesity or my depression? Tough call - seems to go hand in hand. Lets just say I finally hit rock bottom and I have got to reclaim my life. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. In high school, I more or less became anorexic. I never was a puker, I just wouldn't eat. Even at that time I was a size 10 at my smallest. (Yep..."big boned" chic to boot lol) Since high school, my weight has fluctuated. I will lose weight, then gain it all back plus some. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter in 2009 and my weight has ballooned out of control since. I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 mths preggers?! Other than work, I avoid being in public as much as possible. Any time I am out and about, I feel like other people look at me and think, "Ew. Gross!" People treat you different when you are heavy. Men don't make eye contact and smile while they hold doors open for you. People in general have a different demeanor when they are interacting with a fat chic. I miss feeling attractive. I want to have energy to play with my daughter. I want to stop avoiding social functions because everyone is Facebook happy and "tags" horrible photos of me. I want to feel like my sweet husband is attracted to me and proud of how I look. I want to enjoy shopping for clothes. I want to feel NORMAL!!! This isn't living. I feel sad and I have horrible self esteem. I have my first consult with the surgeon tomorrow for the vertical sleeve. I have started the process of all my insurance requirements (Cigna) and gathered paper work from my PCP and the Bariatric clinic I have been a card carrying member off intermittently since 2009. So...here I am. I am sure many of you can relate to my story. Any good vibes sent my way for speedy insurance approval are greatly appreciated. I look forward to getting to know you guys and sharing our journeys. ~Tink

Hello! I've so much to write, but so little time. I just had my 9 month follow-up appt today. My doc is pretty darn happy with me. However, not as happy as I am with myself!!! I bought my first pair of size 12 skinny jeans a couple weeks ago and I'm wearing them today! From a size 22/24 to a 12 (and a 'skinny' jean at that!)!!!! And, I still have ~40-45lbs still to lose. Crazy, wonderful, exciting! I love my sleeve. Now in saying that....eating is still a challenge. I try to stick close to 100% plant-based, whole food diet, but...once in a while... Anyway, you still have to watch calories and quantity and this will be forever. But, darn this sleeve rocks!!! So happy. Life is good. One Love.

I am getting more excited and nervous as every day passes. I have not set a date yet though as I still have to go to my last two appointments before I can meet with the surgeon. I hate waiting. My last appointment was on the 3rd of October but the doctor rescheduled to the 5th. Not to bad, but still. I have my stress echo test where they hook me up with some chords and have me do some work on the treadmill. Then I have to go to see a cardiologist just to check out my heart. And I still need to get my blood work done. Then, after that I can FINALLY meet with the surgeon and have a consultation. Hopefully from that point I can set a surgery date. I think the worst test was the sleep apnea test, being hooked up to all those chords and then that sticky crap they leave in your hair. Then there was the EGD where they put you to sleep and stick a camera down your throat to check out your stomach to see if you are capable of having surgery. I was originally going to get the lapband, but I have been hearing so many bad things about it and the sleeve just seems like such a better option. Reading all the success stories and seeing the before and after pictures are really inspiring. So now it's just a waiting game, being patient and some more waiting. I hope that when I have the consultation with the surgeon I don't have to set a date a long time from now. I want to get it down NOW! I want to start my new life! I am ready for this! My size right now is 285 with a waist size of 46 inches. I am excited to watch all these things go down.