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So, I went to my first pre op doctor's appt today and am excited to say that I am down 27lbs so far. The down side is that she wants me to stay on the liquid diet for one more week because she says that she does a very tight sleeve. But overall she said I am doing good and I really do feel great!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 1 month Sleeve Anniversary to me! It's my 1 month Sleeve-versary and well, it's been a rough one! I just spent the last 4 days fighting the urge to smoke a cigarette because I'm struggling with my coping skills (and I haven't smoked in YEARS!!!). I drove 9 hours one way, just to see my grandmother who's terminally ill in Hospice in FL. My sleeve acted more as a shock collar because I kept eating terrible foods. Two bites in was throwing up. My sleeve is teaching me to change my behavior, but with so much emotional stuff going on in my life lately it's really been testing me to make the right decisions with food. This indeed is a journey, of learning and understanding. <3 Knowing my past habits, I know I would have derailed already and would have binged ate at certain emotional crossroads. At my family dinner on Saturday night, family I hadn't seen in years gathered to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother- and then came the food. Food I would have eaten and eaten and eaten and never stopped. But my sleeve didn't let me fail. I know this sleeve is the best decision I have ever made. Even when I had the urge to give up on myself, my sleeve wouldn't let me. It keeps me honest. It keeps me accountable. And for that I'm so very, very, very, grateful. I could only imagine how much my life will change in 6 months, just the progress in the last month has been such a welcomed relief and gives me hope of a better tomorrow. I might not be at goal weight right now, but I'm getting closer and closer everyday. And I see progress- which is much more than I can say for any diet I've ever been on before. And I don't feel deprived. Now that I'm 4 weeks out, I can eat anything I want- except I don't want the garbage, since I can only get a few bites in, I want to make them count with good delicious flavored food. Me, chicken, and steak, are now BFF's. I <3 my Sleeve. Height: 5'9 Heighest Weight: 216 1st Goal Weight: 169 Sleeved 8/17/2012 @ 216 lbs Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)

I am now 5 days post-op. I feel pretty good. Seem to have gas after I eat, but pain has been minimal. I have been craving meat and I am a vegetarian. It hasn't been easy getting in my protein because I do get full easily. Returning to work tomorrow, not really looking forward to going back. I have one more week at this job and will be starting a new job the following week. I am looking for postive change, positive people and a new skinny me. Here's to positve changes in life "toast".

Howdy fellow sleevers!!!! It has been quite some time since my last posting and I have a bit to say. If you have been following my blog you have seen my ups and downs, my struggles with anxiety and other emotions, my issues with being able to eat and getting nauseous when eating, and my early morning troubles. I am here today to tell you that things are finally starting to stabilize! I had my 6 week check up with my doctor a while ago and told him about how hard it is for me to eat or drink in the mornings, how I feel like crap in the morning, and how it takes me hours to get going. He assures me the by between month 3 and 4 that should stabilize. Well...It is finally starting to do just that. I am starting to feel better in the mornings and eating or drinking in the morning is getting easier. I am even doing better at work in the mornings and have improved mental clarity and focus! I still have some normalization that needs to happen, but given my current pace, I am sure that by month 4 I will be feeling 100% better. My emotional state is improving as well. I have not required an anxiety pill for almost a month now and was able to work through my stress and anxiety by myself. I had a death in the family that caused me to begin to have a panic attack, but I managed it without drugs! I am feeling more confident, happy, and healthy each day! I am able to eat more normal foods and enjoy the company of others when I eat. It feels so good now that things are starting to get normal. I still cannot eat soft (untoasted) bread, but that will come at around the 6 month mark along with pasta. I was actually able to eat sushi the other day which made me sssssssssssoooooooooooooo happy!!! I love sushi, it was one of my favorite things before my surgery and I am so glad that I can still enjoy it! I am trying new stuff daily and finding it getting easier and easier to eat. I still struggle with eating 4 ounces in 20-30 minutes, but I know that that will happen in time as well. For now I take about 45 minutes to eat. Things are really starting to happen for me and I am filled with joy, relief, and a positive outlook. For any of you that are struggling, hang in there...it will get better. You will have ups and downs (I still do from time to time), but this was a good choice and soon you will be thinner, happier, and above all healthier!!! Ciao 4 Now!

This is just to remind you why smoking ever again would be a stupid thing to do. You constantly want to snack now that you dont have the smoke to run to.Everything but proteins have carbs.So edamame is nice but the carbs .....,even the bullets have 2 carbs an if you eat 5 per day that adds another 10 carbs.The dreaded feeling that you have just self sabotaged like you always do is horrible isn it?Not knowing if you will lose more weight?Not seeing the bright side of life because 1.either your smoking like a thief with something to hide or 2.your withdrawing like a junkie once again.... Having to go through the cravings and being so mad at yourself all the time is quite unhealthy dont you think? The way you feel at the moment sucks.Dont do it again. Ok,day 3 is over and I must admit.Without being able to eat the whole time,this was tough.

Believe it or not no one will pay attention to what you eat if you don't call attention to it... I eat out a lot for business and no one ever mentions it. TheY are too busy stuffing their faces. Since you will be attending a buffet that's actually easier... Take a little bit of what you want and eat a few bites of it... I promise if you don't mention it... No be will ask since its obvious you have been losing weight. Happy holidays!

Check out www.khanacademy.org . You can pick any subject and start as basic as you need. It definitely is less traumatic for me than trying to have my kids explain anything! And of course it's online so it's there whenever you feel like checking something out. Good luck!

I am excited about exercising....I can't wait to see what's next to do. I change it up every day so that I won't get bored....LOL. My husband signed me up to the local health club and I am happy, I can't wait until tomorrow ( Monday) to go to health club. I have 50 pd. to go and I can't wait ( weight) to get it off. I love me!!