Leaderboard

Well, I know I have lost weight because I can put on my jeans today. I do not own a scale and I have issues with using more like abusing them so I refuse to purchase one. Tomorrow I am finally allowed to go back to water aerobics which I am really looking forward to that. I have been exercising on my recumbant bike and walking the dog. I have been having trouble adjusting to the change of life style. I remember saying to my mom the other day how I missed dieting for just half the day. I miss the freedom of eating what I want when I want it; spoken like a true addict! Yet I am also grateful I don't have that option. The one thing I thought I would get out of this surgery was to never feel hungry again, what an idiotic thing to have thought but nonetheless I thought it. I feel hungry now more often than I ever have before. One because I can only eat a few bites and two before I was eating all the time therefore I never got the opportunity to feel hungry often. I remember pre-surgery getting hungry my response was to panic and then stuff my face because the feeling was so uncomfortable, foreign and anxiety inducing that was the only thing I could do in the moment. This surgery has caused me to face getting hungry a few times a day and it is getting easier. The thing is to slow down. I ate too fast and was in tremendous amount of pain the other day. I am physically all better, completely healed but mentally it's a jungle in there. I am greatful I took a full three weeks off from work because the stress of all the change can be a bit much at times. The first few days I was regretting my decision but now I know this was the path I had to walk. I had tried everything and given up, I'm a quitter, this pathway has no exit options. I can't get my stomach back, though it would have been nice to have had a funeral for it. It allowed me to eat and comfort myself when I needed comfort as a child. It was a good friend I just wasn't a good friend to it. I like that I don't count calories and if I chose to for some insane reason, I wouldn't get very high. The goal is 600-800 and sometimes that is a stretch goal. The only thing I count now is protein and I am going to saying it here because I say it every where else I hate protein shakes. I am tired of them. It's a good thing I love chicken and greek yogurt since it is my diet now. The foods I miss most are fruits and vegetables. I would love to have a salad and I can't have one, makes me laugh then cry. I also miss pizza, cake and right now chocolate, but I would love to have a chicken pecan salad even if only a couple bites and popcorn (went to the movies with a protein shake healthy but missed the popcorn). But what is really great is that my high blood pressure is gone, it left like a thief in the night after my surgery and is still gone. Also another plus is that it doesn't hurt to move and riding my recumbant bike is actually pleasurable. I kinda like all the change even though is it is scary, at least it's new before life was the same old thing and now not so much.

Well.................... a very deep subject. So my fellow bandsters, new found cyber friends I want to share my success with you and help you to understand that this process is possible but you have to jump in with both feet and be 100% committed to this process. So I will go back to the beginning. High my name is Diane and 2 years ago I was morbidly obese. I used food as a coping mechanism for every aspect of my life. I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad, I ate when I was stressed and i would even eat and lie to myself about the fact that I ate. (Sound familiar) Well one day, I not only had to take a long hard look in the mirror but I had to recognize that my body was no longer coping well with the extra weight on my 5'1" frame. I weighed 252 lbs at my heaviest(Check out my profile, I was very "FAT" there is no other word to describe me. Oh yes I did have a "NICE" smile, still do but now I have cheek bones) I like many of you had tried many WL options from fad diets to Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig and also like many of you I FAILED! Notice I said "I" failed. You see all of those "DIETS" worked but what I failed to do was truly embrace the changes that were needed in my life, the changes that I needed to be successful. But I now believe I had to fail in order to succeed. I see myself just like any addict, I had to hit rock bottom before I truly could commit myself to changing my life. When I started on this site I chose to pick a name that I could grow to love, a.k.a. my user name LovetheNewMe. The other decision I made when I signed onto this site was to be honest and give back as much as I was taking away. I like many of you read and sat in the back ground for many weeks and tried to learn, not only from the successful but also from the struggles. If I could pick three things that have made me successful I would have to say they are "Me, Myself and I" I am sorry to burst anyone's bubble but the Lapband is not why I lost weight, I lost weight because I have learned how to eat and I have learned what a portion is and I have learned that you get out of this what you put into it. If you sit on your butt and expect the weight to fall off, or have your band so tight that you can only drink liquids or puck back half of everything you eat, YES you can lose weight but YOU will not keep it off. You have to embrace the concept of the band, the band does not prevent you from eating the junk food, actually the band encourages you to eat junk food. I know your all thinking this women is flippin crazy. But think about it, when your band is tight and protein will not go down what do you lean toward. SLIDERS! Foods that are high in calories and low in nutritional value. I have read over and over on this blog that people had the surgery so they would not have to count calories, track their food or exercise. Well good luck to all of them because I know me, I am the queen of manipulation and I was real good at telling me that it was OK to eat the fast food on the way home from work and still eat dinner because no one saw me eat it but LITTLE olé me, myself and I. So, what is my point... You have to embrace a healthy life style and you have to remember that what you lose you can always gain back if you do not embrace a healthy life style. It really is true, You are what You EAT!. You have to learn to eat like a thin person and think like a thin person to be a thin person. I am still in the phase of my journey that I am a thin person but there is still a FAT girl living inside me that still struggles to get out some days. I am determined that the "FAT" girl in me is gone forever. I keep pictures of me at my heaviest in plain site, in my house and office. I do not want to ever forget how far I have gone. Just looking in the mirror does not always do it for me, a picture is worth a thousand words. Yes I have reached my ideal body weight, Yes I have dropped from a size 24 to a size 4 (no that is not a type "O") I still log my food every day, I still weight and measure my food, I eat off a small plate, I lay my fork down between bites, I do not drink with meals 30 min before or 30 min after meals, I do not graze, I do not eat unplanned snacks, I do not succumb to peer pressure and I DO exercise 4-5 days per week. The best advice I can give any bandster is: Follow the rules Keep in touch with your WL Surgeon Drink Water Exercise Set realistic goals (Boys and Girls we did not get FAT over night and you are not going to get thin over night. To lose weight you have to decrease your intake and increase your activity. Your body is a living, breathing machine and you to have burn calories to lose weight and the only way I know how to do this is to exercise. It still takes 3500 calories less than your body needs a week to lose one pound per week. That calculates out to 500 calories less per day than your body burns. You have to learn what your body needs just to maintain your current weight. There is a very narrow balance between what you need and not eating to little. If you eat to little your body will think you are starving and eventually stop losing weight.) Learn to eat healthy( The reason you have to do this is because of rule #5) And last and the most important, EAT YOUR PROTEIN. (It has been proven that bandsters that heat 70gms or more protein are more successful with weight loss) Protein make you feel fuller longer and takes longer to digest thus decreasing your desire to eat. And last bit of advice and probably the most important; Learn to love your self, believe in your self and know that you can do this. Anything is possible with hard work and dedication. So here is the old me beside the new me. Good luck to all of you who are just startng or those of you who are struggling. If you are struggling, forgive your self and move forward, if you are just starting or thinking about LBS, know you are going to have to work hard because this is a Life Style Change and just having the surgery and the band does not mean you will lose weight. LovetheNewMe

I haven't written in a while so.....What or who is an experienced Bandster? At nearly 6 months post op apparently, not I even though I have dropped 81lbs. Being an experienced Bandster is not all about weight loss.... This morning on the way to the Office I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a sausage, egg and cheese wake up wrap and a large decaf coffee. I don't drink with my meal but I wanted to have it for when I got into the office. Well without thinking much about it I proceeded to head to work on the freeway and ate my wrap. Not paying attention I ate it too quickly. Stuck episode on the freeway in traffic is not fun by any means. I ended up pulling over to the side of the road and got out and paced back in forth for about 15 minutes until it passed. With my last fill I am definitely in my sweet spot. I can eat almost anything if I do it correctly. Correctly seems to be a problem still. I am eating the right things for the most part but I am still eating too quickly and not chewing enough. I have spent my entire life eating junk food and binging at times and just shoving it in. I never thought learning to eat properly with the band would be this difficult. I have had probably about 7 or 8 stuck episodes since being banded in April. One episode led to (and sorry for the tmi) vomiting. So a couple of things are going to happen here. I am either going to get this straight and follow proper band rules or I am going to cause a slip. Next week I have another support meeting and I am going to sign up and re-take the hungry head class again. That class focus on binge eating and eating habits. I don't think I need the hungry head class as far as binging but I think being around people and talking about experiences will help me keep focus. My next Doc appointment follow up is 9/25. I am not getting a fill. I am still getting the needed "restriction" from the fill last week. In my opinion and I have said it before the word "restriction" sucks when it comes to band talk/terminology. It's not about restricting at all it's all about appetite suppression and satiety. I got that going on right now, no question about it. Now if I can only learn how to eat properly. I also know my band is tighter in the morning. From now on protein shakes only in the morning even if I am running late. ***

I have read so many posts and blogs about stalls. I promised myself not to panic when I got to that point. I have been stuck at 277.3lbs for a solid two weeks. I know it's not because I did something wrong, or because the sleeve is not working. After being on this site for so long, I know it is a natural/normal part of the journey. I stayed off the scale and kept my eating and exercise routine the same. But this morning I got on the scale. I gained ONE pound!! 278.4 The sight of the number took my breath away, and the taste of disappointment stayed with me all day. So I came home and took a picture so I could remind myself that I am doing ok. I needed to put my demons to sleep and realized this is all part of the journey. I am not failing. The sleeve is not failing. Life is beautiful and victory is mine

I thought with me eating much less my grocery bill would go down, but it hasn't, but it hasn't gone up either. Instead of buying crap (little debbie / french fries) I buy healthy things - fruit and veggies. I no longer buy any soft drinks, just crystal light flavor packs for water. I am married so I do have to buy for the hubs, but while he isn't banded he opted to adopted the banded life. He eats the same healthy foods I do just in a large quantity, but hey that is a step. We have opted to oust junk foods all together. So I no longer go down the junk isles. I use to buy a lb of sugar monthly, I have purchased one in 4 months now - don't use it any more. I use to buy hamburger, chicken and pork. Now I still buy chicken, but opt for ground turkey instead of beef and still do a little pork sometimes and a lot more fish. We also use eggs instead of meat - I made an awesome veggie quiche last night and it gave us dinner last night and breaksfast for today and tomorrow- that is the way to stretch a buck. I have learned that Mrs. Dash makes fish better grilled and broiled than it was when we ate it fried. So while my bill hasn't gone down, I feel like the quality of food I purchase is better and I like that. Fresh veggies and fruit are great. My hubs has given up high cal yogurt for apple slices and likes it better. So I don't mind that the bill hasn't gone down quality means more than quantity so that is the aim these days. What has being banded done for your grocery bill?

How long after surgery did you have your first alcoholic drink, and what was your reaction to it?

So I was hungry at lunch time and had to run some errands so I went to my fave chinese lunch place to get an order to go. I ordered their chicken salad lunch which also comes with 3 potstickers. The salad is big so I usually end up eating only about 1/2 and saving the rest for dinner or the next day. The chicken is also shredded white meat so it's not breaded and fried and the dressing is really light. Overall it's not bad at all and heck - Lord knows I could do worse. So I order it to go and they put my order inside a container inside a bag tied up so that it doesn't spill. Anyway - I get back to work and I open it and ta da... it is some oily stir fried noodle dish with beef. A huge container of it. I took about 3 bites (literally) and gave the rest to a co-worker. No potstickers either. Sigh. I took it as a sign not to deviate from my diet! Ha! On a positive note, I called the restaurant and they refunded my purchase (turned out they swapped my order with another customer). The downside is I have no lunch. Maybe the GVS gods are trying to tell me something... STAY ON TRACK For the first time, I feel antsy today. I feel so close, but still things left to do before I can schedule my surgery date. Next Monday I have my first NUT appt. and the following Monday I have my psych eval. I keep telling myself I did get the first available appt. when I called. And it was only 3 weeks later (now 2 weeks away) so things are still moving really fast. I will have done everything necessary start to finish within only 30 days. BUT - it's hard not to be anxious. I want this so badly. I hate hurry up and wait mode. 14 days until I can schedule my 2nd appt. with the surgeon to get my surgery date.

There is only one word for my mood lately: crankerpants. It's that "I'm super cranky, so if you talk to me, I'm probably gonna be a snarky b***h" type of feeling that I'm not so sure everyone experiences. I've made a bunch of changes to my diet, and been really terrible at sticking to it. Seems I can go pretty good for about 3 days and then BAM I find myself finishing off a bowl of pasta or rolling through McD's for a breakfast sandwich. But overall, I think I'm doing okay. I mean, for those 3 days I stick to it, that's an achievement, right? I'd really like to limit myself from 2 crappy/cheat meals per week down to one. Trying to do baby steps so post-op isn't so drastic. Been trying to get my follow up with my PCP scheduled F O R E V E R, it feels like. But I need an appointment for a Sat 10/6 and for WHATEVER REASON, they don't have their Saturday schedules posted for October yet. UGHHH. So frustrating. Got a tiny bit crankerpants at the scheduling girl but turned it down a notch before I snapped. I just want to see if my PCP talked to my medical group about getting a referral before the 3 month diet period. I'd love to be referred in October and scheduled for November!! Hope that's not just wishful thinking! Progress: I joined a gym today. There's a Planet Fitness like 5 minutes from my house and they happen to be running a start-up special right now, so I signed up. I feel so grown up and responsible! I went with my BFF and she's a member already, so she showed me around. Lots of the machines I remembered from being in high school gym class. And I loved how you could watch TV or ipod on the treadmills and bikes and stuff. Walk a mile AND watch Judge Judy? YES PLEASE! I'm also happy to report that this friend that took me to the gym is also the first person I told I was considering surgery and I thought she judged me for it. She really had a lot on her plate (her mom passed away ) but a few days ago she asked me how my surgery plan was going and we talked about it for a while. She asked a lot of questions and was really supportive. Makes me wonder if she'd consider surgery if she saw me lose a bunch of weight? IDK. I won't bring it up. It's too big of a decision for me to try talking her into it. My mom already said she's contemplated some type of surgery before... I think it would be interesting if all the heavy people in my life started having surgery! haha. all the more reason for me to BE THE FIRST! I think my mood improved since starting this post. Yay! Have a happy hump day tomorrow, everyone!!

100 days out. I stepped on the scale this morning and was 258. 38 pounds from my goal. I have lost a total of 92 pounds since my surgery (112 since pre nutrition plan) . I am done to a size 40 inch waist 16 1/2 inch neck. XL shirt. Its crazy to look at pictures of me at 300 pounds and see how fat I was. I like the attention that I am getting and I really am glad I decided to go thru with this. I hope people who are newbies don't think this is just a quick fix. It takes discipline to exercise and to know when to stop. I am turning 28 in a month and a half. I am gonna be super hot. Love y'all

Today I am doing much better. I am not sobbing. I was an emotional mess yesterday and crying. It was all fear related though. I wanted to isolate and be alone but that is the disease of food addiction so I reached out to friends and asked them to come visit me today. I use to attend Overeaters Annoymous, guess I never got the annoymous part. But it really taught me a lot like not to isolate. I guess that is what I want to pass along today is don't isolate yourselves. Isolating is selfish, I love being there for my friends and I will not rob them of being there for me, everybody wants to know they are needed and matter. So let your friends and family love you and don't put baby in the corner, because nobody puts baby in the corner! So this is day five and I am sick to death of the liquid diet so my never compliant self decided to have an egg. I made one jumbo scrambled egg with a pinch of cheese and I added ketchup on top when it was done cooking. It was so nice to have food. I am really worried about getting my protein in so that is why I made myself the egg. It went down okay, funny thing is I couldn't finish it all, which made me laugh. I used to clear my plate at ihop when I had an steak omelet and now I can't even finish one egg. Now I am fighting the urge to buy a scale. Day 5 what do I think I am gonna weigh! I want to be patient and kind to myself. The weight will come off even though I have fears it won't but fear = false expectations appearing real. This journey is going to require a lot of courage and willingness to change, thank God you can fake both of those things when you don't have them at the moment, they work on credit so borrow big. God Bless all of you and best of luck!