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Week 24 – 6 months post op Last week’s weight – 200.8 This week’s weight – 197.2 Total weight lost this week – 3.6 Beginning weight – 246 lbs Total weight loss since surgery – 48.8 lbs Recovered from my gain last week with a nice loss. I was hoping to be down 50 lbs by my 6 month mark but…oh well…that’s the way it goes. Attached is a side by side picture of my weight loss from highest to current.

All of my life I have been bigger. With that said, I didn't really care becasue I was always in shape and very active. I played tennis is high school and swam every day. I would hike when I was able and I could slam the crap out of a racquetball ball. Then BAM!!!! That all changed 18 years ago. I was 20 years old, in college, and having the time of my life when my disc decided it didn't like the home it had and that it wanted to go explore the rest of my back. The first two years after this happened, I was still able to do some activities, but I had to be mindful of my back. Then, over time, it got worse and I did less and less until I could no longer fathom the idea of doing any activity. Truth is, when you deal with chronic pain on a daily basis, you get tired of it and you want to do anything you can to get it to stop. My anything was doing nothing. Now, after my surgery I have been doing more than I have in years. I walk almost daily or do some other type of cardio. And even though I'm still in horrible pain, I figure it's worth it to be healthy. I am only 5 months out and I have lost over 100lbs from my highest weight and around 75 from my surgery day. Now, you can't lose that much weight that fast with out some repercussions. And trust me, I have some. If you have read my blog for awhile, you know that I have already commented about my boobs. For those of you who don't know, my boobs are the things I miss the most. Every time I look in the mirror when I'm naked, I sing, "Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low?" They seem to hang a little lower every day. I'm starting to think they are depressed. Maybe I should give them some antidepressants to perk them back up....do you think that would work? I wish!!! I had just learned to accept my boobs then out of nowhere I noticed something today that totally caught me off guard. I have wings!!! You know the extra skin under your arm that just hangs there and flops back and forth. I thought I was doing well with not getting any of that. I have made sure that I have worked my arms (with my shake weight, and while walking) but apparently that hasn't been enough. I am 38 years old and I have the back, boobs and arms of an 80 year old. Then, to make it just a little worse, I can start to see the extra skin on my tummy. My oh my, I'm just going to be skinny...yes, the pun was intended. But seriously people....it sucks. We work so hard following the program, doing what we need to do, and fighting daily urges to not eat certain things and to keep active and yet some of us will still have these issues. I guess I'll have to accept my new wings like I accepted my boobs. I can't do anything about it right now. The good thing is that now I won't have to pay those high prices for airfare. I can just hold out my arms on a windy day and "Fly like and eagle". Now, if only I can find something useful for my droopy boobs to do....that's going to take some thought.

Did I mention it took place in the shower? So tonight while showering together my daughter mentioned to me that she sometimes sneaks out of bed at night and notices her other parent sneaking a smoke on the terrace. This led to a conversation about why people smoke and why people sneak. At 7 she understands that smoking is an addiction and that many people, despite wanting to stop, just can't find the willpower to do so. In order to curb her disdain, I pointed out that we all are working on things about ourselves, trying to be better. Next thing I know this conversation I had been dreading for months was just happening. Naked. But happening. I explained that I was working on losing weight because I wanted to be healthier and have more energy. I explained how when we eat too much, our bodies store the extra as fat. And as far as I was concerned, I had more fat stored than I would ever need. Bless her cute little self, she screwed up her little face in an expression of confusion, looked me up and down, and said, "where?" "Well, here, and here..." I replied pointing out my belly, my butt. She then asked me to turn around, which I did, but definitely starting to think this was spiralling out of control. "You look pretty", she replied, to which I said, "Oh my god I have to clone you"...No I didn't say that, but I thought it. So I went on to explain that for me, carrying around all the extra weight was like her having to carry her backpack when it had too much stuff in it. We recalled the times she didnt want to run an errand after school because she just had too much stuff in her backpack. So far so good. That's where we hit a wall. Because my daughter is a skinny girl. She's never hungry. I wake up ravenous. Se smells food and it usually smells "gross". I smell food when I'm not hungry and suddenly I AM hungry. She forces herself to eat because she "wants to get this meal done already" whereas I...well you get the picture. So her response was, "just eat less". I explained to her that I was trying, but that I was having a hard time eating as little as I needed to because heavier people are often hungrier than other people. I went on to tell her that there was an operation that I could have that could make my stomach smaller and then I would be less hungry. Silence in the shower. Then she said this, "I'm glad I'm skinny because I would hate to have to have an operation". This was my fear. So of course we talked about exercise and portions and healthy eating and I pointed out all the ways that she was really good at that. I noticed and praised how she doesnt eat when she's not hungry and how she knows she's gotta get her protein in first, and how good she is at knowing when she's had enough. (she is a master at having a few bites of ice cream and leaving the rest). And by then it was time to dry off and read a story and I told her how excited I was because I was about to try something new. I explained how excited I was to be able to bike and run and walk and explore more with her. I didn't tell her that I am also excited to model healthy eating for her. I hope she keeps her healthy eating habits. Someday I'd like to take her out for ice cream and BOTH of us can eat a few bites and leave the rest.

Ok, chances are I'm overreacting, and if so...ok. It's Monday, I'm in the office, and no fewer than 6 people since 8:00 a.m. (it's 12:30 now) have walked down the hall and each one has made a point to either say "hi" or stop and talk to the girl across the hall. Now, mind you, I'm not a wall flower....I'd say I'm pretty outgoing in this office, and I have worked here 13 years. I'm the "go to" when people need things. She's quiet, reserved and an engineer who isn't all that outgoing. The other difference between us is I've been overweight my entire life, so those who have worked with me have only known me as overweight (and in my opinion have a bias against that and feel uncomfortable.....so sorry), I'm 5'7, red hair, fair complexion and 254 lbs. She is 5'6, blonde hair, fair complexion and probably 130. So the question is, why do they make the effort to say hi to her, and can't be bothered to turn and say hi to me as well? Why is it I only exist and am noticable when it comes to what they need and when they need it? Well.....times, they are a changin.....and there's a reconin' coming! After I'm sleeved, and the weight starts falling off.....you can BET I won't be interested in their attention. I've known all my life who my "real" friends are and who those are that are only there for the fair weather. I won't suffer fake people. Not worthy of my time or trouble. It's amazing to me how easily it is for others to be so rude and judgmental against those overweight. I've even noticed that it's actually socially acceptable for talking heads and comedians to poke fun at overweight politicians! How DARE they? Isn't it said that you can't judge a man (or woman) until you've walked a mile in their shoes? Sometimes, I just wish the world would grow up and try to consider those around them and pre-think they're actions. Kicking the soapbox back into the corner.

Six more days until I lose the title of Bandster and gain the title of Sleever. Pre-Op Diet - I started my pre-op diet on September 3rd. I feel a little fatigued, but I guess that is normal. However, I have to admit this pre-op diet thing was much easier before I was banded in 2007. I have had a few moments of crankiness, but thank goodness I have a fabulous family and boyfriend who have been so supportive through this venture. Jitters - The mental part of this life change and surgery is very taxing. I am ready for the change, but I am so afraid of the possible complications and recovery. I guess having the band removed and the sleeve done at the same time is making me a little more nervous also, because I know that I may have to deal with a harsher recovery than getting the sleeve alone. Reality Check - I need this tool to help get me into better shape, so I can do the things I want to do without carrying all of this extra baggage. The Fall is my favorite time of year. I love to go to the country and take it all in. I can't go horback riding, or hiking, or do any of that outdoorsy kind of stuff like this. It is just too hard to carry the weight. My knees and my ankles hurt too much to do all of the walking. I need this tool to help me eat right, to correct my cholesterol, insulin resistance, PCOS, sore knees and ankles, etc. I keep telling myself that I won't regret this. This is going to be a hard couple of months, but after a while, this will become second nature and I will adore my sleeve and the ability to do the things I love to do without feeling physical pain. I may even avoid becoming Type 2 Diabetic and that in itself is a wonderful reason to have this surgery. So, when I get these jitters and think that I can still back out of getting the sleeve the day of my surgery...(and just opt to get the lap-band removed), I try to give myself a reality check with some positive self talk. VSG Buddy - I was lucky enought to be introduced to a VSG Buddy. She went to the same Bariatric Practice that I am going to and she is also a revisionista! She has introduced me to all sorts of wonderful things already, like herbal teas, protien drinks and soups, vitamins, and she is loaded with special advice. She has made this journey so much easier thus far! I am very lucky to have found her! Hmmm.... Oh' Yes, I am not very good at introductions...but I am sure you have figured a few things out on you own while reading the above blog (or my best attempt at a blog). INTRODUCTION... (Which is complete PJ Style, because it wouldn't be me, if I gave you the intro first...) My name is Pam. In 2007, I was banded. My start weight was 330, my lowest weight was 214, my highest weight after reaching 214 was 312. My revision to the VSG is scheduled for September 17th. My current weight is 301 after being on the liquid diet since September 3rd. I like this blogging stuff...it sorta helps me get a few things off of my chest!

After 4 days on a clear liquid diet and then 9 1/2 days on a full liquid diet (mush diet) I ate a slice of cheese today and it was YUMMY!!! Pain was much better today hardly any at all and no pain meds so far today.. Yeaaaaaaaaaa me!!

So today was my 2 week post op appt. It went really well. Weighted in at 225.8 lbs. My incisions are really looking good. Dr H said scar that is my left that is dimpled will start to look a little more normal in about 2 weeks or so. I was telling him about the pain that I experienced on Sun/Mon and he said it was from over doing it this weekend. He was telling me how common it was to have pain of this type about 10 days out from surgery. One of the receptionists who had a VSG said that she wears a binder for support that really helps her a lot with jut everyday pain. So off to L&D I went to get one. I do have to say it is suprisingly comfortable and it does help with my belly pain. I plan to wear it tomorrow night to work to see if it helps...We'll see. Kind of nervous about going back to work. Hope i'm not to sore after working 2 12 hour shifts back to back... I can now start to exercise as I wish. He said to use pain as my guide. Don't start off like crazy but start slow and use my body as my guide as to how hard I can exercise As for eating. Dr H said I am good to go as far as food is concerned. Just be carefu and let my body tell me what I can handle. His comment was " the worst that can happen is you will throw up" LOL..

100 days out. I stepped on the scale this morning and was 258. 38 pounds from my goal. I have lost a total of 92 pounds since my surgery (112 since pre nutrition plan) . I am done to a size 40 inch waist 16 1/2 inch neck. XL shirt. Its crazy to look at pictures of me at 300 pounds and see how fat I was. I like the attention that I am getting and I really am glad I decided to go thru with this. I hope people who are newbies don't think this is just a quick fix. It takes discipline to exercise and to know when to stop. I am turning 28 in a month and a half. I am gonna be super hot. Love y'all

Today marks 7 weeks since I had my surgery. I did not weigh today because I have an appointment on Wednesday and will wait until then. I am still feeling great and have no complications to report. The first thing I want to make note of is post-exercise restriction. I have noticed that after exercise, it seems as if the sleeve constricts, as it is hard to even get a decent amount a water down within the 45 minutes (or so) following exercise. My concern is that water is so important before, during and after exercise and this issue temporarily hinders my ability to get in fluids when I need it most. I've noticed this over the past two weeks so I decided to wait until Wednesday to speak with my surgeon about it. In the meantime, the workaround that I use is to consume a sugar free Popsicle after working out simply for the sake of getting in some form of hydration until I can really drink water like I need to. I do not know why this happens to me but I can only guess that the muscle contractions that take place during and after exercise contribute to it. I do not do concentrated abdominal work but I do do work that use core muscles. I'll use that to segue into my next topic. I do not have a gym membership. I'm a very busy person and I hate traffic so at the end of the work day, I know that I will not go. I also refuse to wake up before the sun shines through my windows to work out so the gym is not an option for me. What has helped me more than anything is body weight exercises (squats, lunges, push-ups, etc), running and HIIT training. I also like using DVD's. For those of you who are like me (gym-avoidant), I thought I'd give a list of the DVD's I am currently using and that I like. They are: Lean Hot Body (Patrick Goudeau)- about an hour long and combines cardio and strength Peak 10 Cardio Strength (Michelle Dozois)- similar to Lean Hot Body but has levels that build into higher intensities Peak 10 Cardio Interval Burn (Michelle Dozois)- pure cardio Cross Fire (Cathe Friedrich)- HIIT that also uses weights Chiseled (Toby Massenburg)- strength training combined with high intensity cardio that involves a step bench I don't do these everyday. I like to mix it up, lest I get bored. However, I would highly recommend these videos because they are straightforward and non-cheesy. The next development is my use of almond milk. Let me just say that the transition to skim milk was very hard for me. I just don't believe in see-through milk. Further, the carb count of skim milk is not something that I am willing to acquiesce to at this point. This weekend, I started to miss my cappuccino so I had to try to come up with something that would do. At Whole Foods, I found some espresso and as I perused the diary section and could not find the low-carb milk I was used to so I took a chance and picked up some almond milk. I purchased the unsweetened vanilla variety that only has 40 calories for 8oz. and 2 grams of carbohydrates. Both of these figures have skim milk beat. I made a cappuccino with this milk and I must say, it was quite satisfactory. Almond milk smells wonderful and it's not see-through either. If you are lactose intolerant, this may be a viable option for you. I also used this milk when I made myself a hot chocolate using Ghirardelli's unsweetened cocoa powder (15 calories and 3 grams of carbs per serving). I know we are always told not to drink calories but the 55 calories in that cup of hot chocolate was so worth it. For the potato chip lovers, I also discovered that Whole Foods sells "chips" made only out of parmesan cheese. They come in 1 serving containers in the hot soup area. They are crispy like chips but only made out of parmesan cheese (I guess they bake them because they aren't oily). They are delicious and I ate them with my soup. Although they are only 1oz. servings, it took me a couple of days to eat them all. Anyway, that's all for now. Happy losing!

I had my pre-op today...everything went well. First, at the doctor's office, I had to blow 3 times in a tube to measure the air in my lungs. Then, I met with the doctor and went over everything. He's super nice! Then, the nurse took my before pictures! After that appointment, I went to the hospital for my pre-op. the nurse took 2 tubes of blood, blood pressure, height, weight, and went over paperwork and consent forms. Everything is all set...next Tuesday is the BIG day!