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I'm over it. I don't want to look at the scale anymore! I feel like freaking Frodo with that thing. "My Precious" keeps calling me. I have to resist. I don't want my success being tied to a number. My clothes feel loose. I'm getting more energy. I'm sucking it up with my work.... (actually...I started looking for another job last week!). I'm getting things done. I feel healthier. PPL say I'm looking good. Getting compliments. What's the obsession with the number? I'm going to try to go a whole month w/o getting on that darn thing! Wish me luck!

Getting banded September 11th. A bit scared, but know this is going to be the best thing I ever did. Looking forward to sharing my progress and experience with others.

OMG, are any of you guys experiencing this, it feels so funny when I swallow anything. I can actually feel the liquid go down my throat into my pouch and if I try to do anything other than sip is feels so uncomfortable and hurts. It's so funny before surgery I didn't even take notice to these things. I also feel empty inside like I know most of my stomach is gone. Is this crazy or do you guys feel me on this.

Best Andy Rooney imitation…."Have you ever notice the great names that people have chosen for their screen names on this site? Well, I have …" There are some great ones. And I noticed a number of trends that I though were a bit interesting. After taking a bit of a survey I came to two conclusions. First, I picked a boring name, and second, I should share some of the names I found. So here goes… Common themes in the names: Being a Mom, such as: Momieof 3 Kalimomof 3 and the highest child count I saw "mommyto5" (or as I like to call it, "someone needs to get the cable TV repaired" Being married/attached, such as: "Steveswife," etc. Hobbies and loves, such as: "animal lover," "golden retriever lover," "beachlover," "candle lady," "dolphin lover," and "hulahoopaholic." Ready for a change, such as Ready2Bthin need2change ontheroad2thin thinnerbeginings 4alongerlife Ibthin Skinny2B Acknowledging large size, such as heafty hannah Biged Imafatty cutechubbygirl phatmom Megamom BustNout Going to look great, such as: futureskinnyperson soon2Bhotmomma Fat2Fab Ready4newme halfthewoman Members we should avoid on a bad cravings day, such as: Stormwarning TwistedMom Diana Dominate stinker MY FAVORITES - FUNNY, CUTE, INSIGHTFUL… Chubarella, Slenderella and Sleeverella (they must be sisters!) Sleevealicious BigByrd TexMax Xxstacy SexiiLexi SlimThickens Boobie1981 (wonder why this one appeals to me? I must really like 1981!!) looking on the lightside thinnerpeace Ysettleforless first half fat thishastowork moving toward normal speedbump After looking at this, I wish I picked a cooler name. I have had the nickname of Special K since high school (Eddie Murphy Saturday Night Live skit about Buckwheat, and family members named after cereals - "My cousin Special K, he's retarded".... my friends thought it was hilarious and it stuck for some 35 years). So add the nickname to my birth year (very clever and unique, I know) and you get a boring screen name. I wish I was: Needs A new belt Yum another shake! Wannaseemy scars realmenhavedrains No I neverget bored of liquids solidfoodhater I miss my beer gravy comes from God undertall So, what are your favorites that you have seen - or just want to make up. Let's have some fun people. I try to post a few times a week, so follow this blog, and you will know every time I post something else dumb (I mean funny ?!?)

This last month I made my goal of 123.8 which put me in a normal BMI. I then made my goal of weighing that fully dressed My next mini goal is 121 which will be half of me. I want to get around 117 so I can be solidly in a normal BMI range. I am in no hurry for that. I am loving the fall weather we are having and wearing jeans in a size 6!! Have never been this size in my life! I have a plastic surgery consult on September 11th. Most likely I won't have surgery for a while simply because working on paying off a credit card and my car before our big move to FL next year - would love to be debt free. But I want to know my options, costs, expectations, etc. I wish I would have started blogging each month a long time ago so I could look back on the non scale things I accomlished each month. The journey really is about so much more than a number. I went back to Weight Watchers meetings - I made lifetime with them in 2003 so now that I am back at (below) my lifetime weight, meetings are free. I like the extra support it gives me on a weekly basis. I attend my hospitals monthly support group also. Don't underestimate the support available to you - make use of all of it! It keeps you motivated and encouraged! I need all of that I can get!! I bought myself my first little black dress a few weeks ago - I'll share the dressing room picture for now. Who knew that finding shoes would be the bigger challenge! SW 242 Height 4'11'' 6 month Pre-op loss (-28.6) Surgery date 8/8/11 213.4 1 month - 194.2 (- 19.2) 2 months - 180 (- 14.2) 3 months - 170.2 (- 9.8) 4 months - 164.4 (- 5.8) 5 months - 167.2 (+ 2.8) 6 months - 162.4 (-4.8) 7 months - 155.4 (-7) 8 months - 149.6 (-5.8) 9 months - 143.4 (-6.2) 10 months - 139 (-4.4) 11 months - 132.6 (-6.4) 12 months - 126.8 (-5.8) 13 months - 121.4 (-5.4) Made goal! Normal BMI!

So survived my preop, and EKG, CXR and labs! I am nervous and excited, I get to start my liquid diet on the 14th, yikes!! As I type my palms are sweaty! and I have butterflies. I have to say I love my hubs, who is trying to be a sweet supportive man. He is exercising more and trying to make healthier meals. I do love him, and he plans to spend the 2 1/2 days (if all goes well) in the hospital with me. I am ready for this! I can do this! I will suceed !! I have been for the last month having liquids for lunch, and now I added liquids at breakfast, so I am working up to the 14th and beyond. I found a bulk food store that sells, unflavored whey protien, powdered eggs, and different powdered soups. and PB2 which I added to a shake and it's pretty tasty (it low fat powdered peanut butter) 85% less fat 45 calories! And now I need to go amp up the exercise. My inner Diva just keeps chanting GO! You are a WINNER! and dancing the Cha Cha!

I am still very swollen so I was hesitant to get on the scale, but I couldn't resist the temptation and I have lost 10lbs since Tuesday. I couldn't stop smiling. That is just so amazing to me. I can't wait until I'm able to start working out and building muscle and working on toning as I go. This is just such a blessing!

The Most Evil of all Man’s Inventions - When we were getting larger, the scale was an evil evil device. It was originally designed by man to assist in the development of early commerce, but over time it took on a new and insidious venture. It became the device that quantified what we already knew - we were getting bigger. It was not a secret. We knew it. We knew we were not eating right and could tell we were getting bigger. But as long as those elastic waists and comfort fit pants hung in there, we could kid ourselves into believing that it was not that much weight gained. It was all so vague and easy to ignore. But the evil scale ruined all that. That "couple of pounds" we had gained since last summer was actually 14.7 pounds!!! And what total chucklehead decided we needed a decimal point on a bathroom scale? What an idiot. I am not a pharmacist carefully measuring out a deadly drug. I am just a fat guy on a bathroom scale. The size of the number is bad enough, the decimal is just sort of an insult. "I weigh 277." Scale: "No, actually you weigh 277.6!" GRRRRRRRR, Stupid scale! I will tell you where you can put that .6 pounds…. BUT NOW…. I have come to reconsider my position -- and being down 50+ pounds has everything to do with it. That decimal point is an amazing and important invention. When I lose .6 pounds, you can bet I want to know all about it!! Don’t be depriving me of my 9.600 ounces of hard earned weight loss! I did not just go to the bathroom, dry my hair, clean out my ears, burp, get naked and take off my glasses to get some vague estimate!!! I have concluded that the scale is, in fact, not inherently evil. I have come to this based on recent events. Since I have had my surgery I have noticed something amazing that I had never noticed before. It may have been there all along, but I just did not know it. Maybe you knew….but until just recently, I did not know that ….. (wait for it) ….. The scale can actually go DOWN!!!! 　 Here are three great scale jokes!!! 　 A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help." "Sure it will." he said. "Now I can see the numbers." ______ 　 Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "What’s it for?" one asked. "I don’t know," the other replied. "I think you stand on it, and it makes you mad…at least it does that for my Dad." 　 　 ______ Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry with him. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 250 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. It was not big enough to be the sports car she demanded, so she put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. ARE WE LAUGHING YET!!!!!!!

In keeping with my juvenile and silly sense of humor, I have to share this. I saw something today that made me laugh out loud. What surprises me is that I had read it before and did not think for a minute it was all that funny. But when I read it today I bust out laughing. Here goes. On one of the forums someone wanted to encourage another member to take charge of a particular aspect of her diet. She used the saying "time to put on your big girl panties." "Big girl panties?" On a weight loss website? That is a level of irony that is just hilarious. Completely unintended. But funny. Now if we could get someone to work in a "lunch lady brasserie" joke, we would have the perfect website.

Today is almost my three month point. Also, I have my 20th high school reunion coming up so I figured it was a good time to go shopping. Now I have no idea what size I wear or where I should shop. So, I called my mother. I always like to have someone with me that will be completely honest and tell me I look like a teenage wannabe, or I'm trying to wear a size WAY to small or WAY to big. Mom will always be honest. Sometimes a little too honest. One time she told me not to buy something because my boobs looked to big. That's what I liked about the shirt. Needless to say, I bought it. Anyway, today I started at Lane Bryant. You all know the Big Girl store. I found some things I liked and grabbed a couple different sizes. To my amazement, I fit into a 14/16 shirt, and a 16 or 18 pants (depending on the cut). I can't tell you the last time I wore anything that size. Especially for my shirts. At that moment, shopping began to be fun. I started to understand why people love shopping....I could totally get into this shopaholic thing. Then I went to Old Navy. Now, understand that the only thing I used to be able to buy here was a men's XXXL sweatshirt. Well, today, I was able to fit into the woman's polo shirts (XXL), woman's jeans (size 18), and an XL woman's sweatshirt. Now, here's the funny thing. Being big for most of my life, I've always worn very baggy clothes. Because even though we all know baggy clothes don't hide anything, we feel more comfortable and let's be honest, we're hiding behind those extra baggy shirts and pants. So, when I came out to look in the mirror wearing these clothes that were the correct size and fit me the way they were supposed to, I felt so exposed. It took me awhile to get that this is what I am supposed to wear and how I am supposed to look. Trust me, it's crazy. I really had to look at the emotional issues that come with being fat. Then, I said "screw that" I'm losing weight and doing well. I have the body I would have died for when I was 25. I'm curvy, and yes I have more weight to lose, but I am going embrace my new body and not hide it being my XXXL sweatshirt. Well, apparently embracing my body cost $300. I embraced it in new bras, underwear, jeans, pants, sweats, and shoes. I also made sure that none of those things were baggy or hiding anything. Everything I bought showed my body in a tasteful way. However, the only person who will see the panties and bras will be my husband....and he'll be happy to hear that my cup size is still a DD. He was so worried about that. LOL So, now that I told you about my wonderful day, I have to tell you that I have been kind of down. My scale number has not really moved over the past month and a half. If goes up and down between five pounds. Now, I KNOW that I am working out more and gaining muscle and that my body is changing but I still want that number to go down. I want to be under 200 so badly, I can't even explain it. The last time I was under 200 I was in high school and I was working out all the time and barely eating. But, right now that's my goal and I am so upset that I'm not getting any closer to it. But, going today and seeing how my body is changing even if the scale isn't going down makes me feel REALLY GOOD. So, I decided to stop worrying about that number on the scale and enjoy my body and my new clothes. Now, I just have to figure out what I'm going to wear first.