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So today I had my pre-op appointment at the hospital. All and all it went well, had a really nice nurse who I know will take really good care of me after surgery. Had the usual blood taken and signed paperwork. Also had to have a chest x-ray done. Got the low-down from the nurse about where to go, what to expect, and what my well wishers are to do while I am in surgery. I have to admit I was really pretty nervous sitting in the hospital, I guess just ready for this to happen. After that I went to the surgeon's office to turn in my food logs and meet with the dietitian (who is very skinny). I started my pre-op diet per their orders on 8/27, but I didn't get weighed by them until 8/28. I had already lost 2 lbs by the time I got there on 8/28, but since my "official" weight was at their office I didn't get those 2 lbs credited to me. Anyways today according to them I was just down 10 lbs (my count is 12 lbs). The dietitian told me that neither the surgeon or the nurse practitioner would be very happy with only losing 10 lbs. True results told me that I had to lose at least 10. Yes I know, I am going to lose a few more before surgery and in the weight loss game, more lost the better, but I just felt defeated. I felt like if they expected more than they should have told me from the get go. But then again, I have been doing really pretty well on the diet. Then she threatened me with my current biggest fear...my liver might not be small enough!! I nearly cried. I am just about convinced this is a scare tactic, I am just going to have faith that my diligent diet will pay off and my liver will be tinny tiny come surgery. Kinda a non scale victory, normally after a meeting like I had today at the surgeon's office, I would have ran to the nearest McDonalds and although I wanted to really bad, I didn't. Woo hoo!! I have mentioned these super yummy shakes, Pure Protein with 35g of protein, they taste amazing!! Well I asked her about them, they have milk protein concentrate instead of whey protein. She said that I was to have ZERO dairy until after surgery and that might have been why I saw such a sluggish response this weekend. But previously I had consulted one of my trainer friends who said that there wasn't much difference with the proteins. However, I had a feeling on Monday those shakes might have been hurting me, so I had switched back to whey. I bought their Barriatric Advantage shakes today, which were not cheap, but they have like 27g of protein in them. I got the banana flavor, (DYING for a banana) and it was really good. This morning I did not eat (eat = have shake) as I was in a hurry and didn't want the extra "weight," for the scale. I didn't have my first shake until I got to work at about 1:30 p.m. I know, I know, bad for my metabolism. I never have the 2nd shake, just had grilled chicken and salad for dinner. Now its all I can think about it wanting to eat anything and everything. I am currently drinking a big glass of water and chewing gum. Have to get my mind off of this. Anyways, I am extra motivated this week to be extra good on my diet. I will drop those 6 lbs and prove to that dietitian that I can do it and that I have a skinny liver. Makes me wonder what HER liver looks like. LOL. Tomorrow I fly to Dallas after work. I am going to dinner with my BFF, must eat chicken or fish. Then Sunday I am driving my mom and her 3 dogs down to Houston. They will be staying with me until Thursday. I can't believe that my surgery is that close, seems like just yesterday I was on my 3rd appointment for my weight loss monitoring. I am a work-a- holic and haven't taken a whole week off of work in a long time. So I must get to bed, because I will be up at work early tomorrow to cram in everything I have to get done before I leave. I will be in the office Monday until 0900 but that is only to do payroll. So must cram cram cram!! I fully plan on finishing the edits on my first novel while I am "laid" up and working on my second and keeping my work phone turned off!! Anyways, sorry tonight was about 90% rambles. Just a jittery mess. Until tomorrow, Amanda

Wow...where do I start.... I up my workout game this week. Moved from 2.5 miles to 3 miles of walking this week. I am really loving this sleeve knowing that the fruits of my workout will reflect in my body transformation. I walked into my office yesterday and one of the ladies said I looked stunning. It did wonders for my inner self. In fact, a number of people are commenting on my weight loss. I went to a BBQ on Labor Day (dat was torture) and I girl I had not seen in a few months, told me I had lost weight and looked good...Made me feel all giddy..especially since I am still about 50lbs shy of my final goal...I can only imagine what that will look like. But back to the BBQ...There was so much food and drink...I think I missed the alcohol more than I did the food. BBQ is almost a synonym for drinking and all could have was my light pink lemonade...The compliments made it better though...lol... This week also represents the week, I put on a two pair of shorts I could not wear pre-surgery and a pair of jeans...One pair of shorts was actually loose...I have this lil dress that I wore in the day that I absolutely loved. I am not sure if I would wear it again as an outfit as it is dated but I kept it because I wanted to get back into it...The day that happens....I think I am going to hit the floor....(but I also plan on taking pics to mark that day). I told my mom about the surgery this week. I had not told her before because when I tried feeling her out about it, she had so much negative stuff to say so I left her out of one of the most important decisions of my life. I felt bad and underhanded but I needed to mentally prepare for this surgery and so could not deal with her opinions. She still had some stuff to say about it but now that it is done, I do not receive her comments as hard. This Sunday I am able to start soft foods. I am so happy...These last two weeks I have really begun to miss food. I have planned about 30 first meals...lol..My body is over the protein shakes so I need some natural protein. My stomach is upset with the protein shakes. As I begin to eat, I am hoping I can once again tolerate them as they offer a good influx of protein if you are struggling to get it in. I am still not having regular bowel movements without assistance of a stool softner. Driving me crazy as I went everyday so to be only able to go once a week with assistance gets me so out of sorts. But with all that said...where I am today...I think I am beginning to see some changes..I measure next Friday so I am excited to see what those numbers reveal. VSG 08/17/12 HT 5'8 HW 232 (08/13/12) SW 227 CW 208.8 (-23.6lbs) I will take it...I had a goal (one of many) to be 205 by 09/17. I am on target to make it happen...(Sleeve don't fail me now..lol)

After 4 days on a clear liquid diet and then 9 1/2 days on a full liquid diet (mush diet) I ate a slice of cheese today and it was YUMMY!!! Pain was much better today hardly any at all and no pain meds so far today.. Yeaaaaaaaaaa me!!

hi, I have just found out that my op will bee in 4-5weeks time and I am really happy that I know the approx date. my first appointment was in March 2011, I attended the seminar in June, then I had all the test, physiology etc and then a sleep apnea test, I had sleep apnea and got my cemap machine, which I hate wearing. I had to wait 3months to see if the treatment was working, it was ans the specialist would send this info off to the bariatric surgery team, only, he didn't. finally after no contact from anyone I asked my dietician if she could find out what the delay was. 3 weeks later was told they were waiting for results from apnea clinic. I felt abandoned and depressed that it was one delay after the other. finally in May got an appointment for signing the consent form, it was horrendous I had put about 5 lb back on and was told that i could not sign the consent and would go to the back of the list, devastaed is how I felt. I got an appointment for another consent signing In 6 weeks, and at this one had lost 12 lbs, so was able to sign consent. I had to have an endoscopy and they remove 2 small polyps from my stomach, at which point me and hubby decided I would go for the sleeve rather than the bypass.At the meeting tonight we e sat next to a man who had the sleeve last Oct and he was 22stone on the day of his op and is now 13stone and was very encouraging, I asked him dozens of questions as did hubby, lol, and we came away happy that we have chosen the right op for me.I cannot exercise due to fibromyalgia and other health issues at this weight, but will be going swimming as soon as I can. to get fitter. It has been such a long wait and at times felt like I had to jump through their hoops, but now only concerned with getting as much weight of as i can before the op.that is it for now . x

As always, I have made my neighbors wonder how I ever got out of the mental institute. At least this time, I didn't flash some poor, unexpecting man my boobs...though he really did seem to enjoy that. No, today I did that thing that we all do sometimes when we are working out. I forgot I was in public. Not only was I in public, it was 7am and there were TONS of people out walking (their dogs or themselves). Before I went on my 2mile walk (yes, two miles...thank you...thank you...thank you...you can hold your applause now LOL) I decided to add some old CDs that I had found to my phone so that I would have something different to listen to as I walked. Great idea right? This would help motivate me, get me moving a little faster, and help keep me walking more than I have been. Well, that's all true. EXCEPT one thing....I forgot how much I enjoyed some of these tunes. So, not only was I singing along as I walked (I tried to stop when I saw someone coming), I was also doing that upper body dance thing with my arms....you know the one right? It's when you start moving your arms and bobbing up and down?! But, that wasn't the worst part, the worst was when I decided to get my legs involved. Apparently, I didn't think putting one foot in front of the other was good enough. Nope, I thought it would be neat to do a little side step ever once and a while....as well as some some back and forth foot work. This wouldn't have been too bad except I got caught BIG time. Not just by the person in front in me walking their dog, but also by the man driving behind me. I have no idea how long either one was there. The BEST part of the whole thing was watching the man walking directly toward me get the look on his face as to say, "what is wrong with her" and ever so slowly cross the road for no other reason to get away from me. And yes, I made sure to say, "Hello" as I passed. I thought about stopping and petting the dog, but I didn't want to be sprayed with mace. LOL After being caught twice in a matter of seconds, I decided that I should stop my dancing and focus on walking. That was all well and good until "Brown Eyed Girl" came on. Something took over and I was unable to control myself. The words came pouring out of my mouth and my arms and shoulders started going. That is until I noticed an older woman walking her dog and another man attempting to control his dog. It was barking and attempting to break away in an attempt to get to me...and it didn't appear that he wanted to give me lovings. Apparently dogs are not very fond of my singing ability. Damn, and I was planing on auditioning for the Voice next year....LOL. Now that I am home, safe and sound. I have decided that going for my walk in the morning is not the best idea. I think I will leave the walking to the afternoon or evening when there are less people out there to scare. I mean come on, I've got to maintain some type of normalcy....or at least pretend to. Now excuse me as I go turn up Price and dance around the house like the Dancing Queen I (think) am.

This is the most wonderful and emotional feeling in the world...Yesterday i put on a pair of 18 jeans and I almost cried, it was good tears... im finally under 200 lbs and it excites me everytime someone notices, friends and other family members, it was really getting to me because i got all these positive comments from everyone else except my husband, untill yesterday i saw my husbands face light up when i walked into a room, with my size 18 jeans and a lg not a 2x shirt and he told me that i looked so beautiful and different i wanted to cry to se that he noticed and finally made a comment.. I dont think im asking to much but i luv hearing that my spouse makes a positve comment towards me...( am I??) i had a slip up and was sick last night, learned my lesson, but i feel fine today and it a new day to stay on the right track not giving up... each month or every other month i want to get a smaller size of jeans when they get loose and have a new goal (what do u think?)

Oh, my! Tuesday was not a good day for me. I went back to school six days after my surgery, still on liquids. Everything was wonderful until after lunch. I had my earlier students sitting and singing through songs with very little movement. However, then came kindergarten. I knew the little ones wouldn't be able to sit still for the entire class, and since it was my first day with some of them, I wanted to make their day fun. I started with the song, "We All Work Together" by Woody Guthrie and had the kids "shake their booties" during the "with a wiggle and a giggle" parts. When they were reluctant, I decided to demonstrate. I got such a great response from them, that I kept going with them. They were so adorable, I couldn't resist encouraging them. Bad choice. My tummy hurt so bad that I had to sit with a heating pad across my belly the rest of the day. I went home after school and went straight to bed, hugging my heating pad. Yesterday, I learned from my mistake, did a slow-motion, simple demonstration, then let the kids dance by themselves. Much better. Today, I did more and felt awesome all day!

I started walking again today. It's funny how taking only a month off can totally change your ability. I went from feeling like a marathon runner (without the running part) to feeling like child learning how to walk for the first time. Why is my heart beating so fast and why am I sweating enough to quench the thirst of a small 3rd world country? I don't remember it being this bad when I first started after my surgery. That could be becasue I knew I couldn't do much then and now I feel like I should be able to do more than I was doing when I stopped walking. One cool thing that I noticed was that my shorts didn't do the "lets hide in the crotch" thing they do when you're overweight and walking. You know what I mean. It's when the front of your shorts ride up and bunch up near your crotch. Then you try to pull them down with out looking too obvious but deep down you know everyone can see you doing it. Then you start to walk again and BAM there they are right back up to your crotch. Yeah, that thing....well, it happened a little but not enough for me to have to stop and pull them down. 100lbs ago I would have had to pull them down every few steps...hence the reason I never worked out in shorts until now. Needless to say, I got in 1.25 miles. Much less than I wanted but much more than my back was telling me I could do. My back is still bad, but I know if I keep it up my back will get used to it. It's just getting through what I call the "pain hump" That's the time during and after your workout (for about 2 weeks) where you feel like you're back is broken and you can't move an inch, let alone a mile. It's the time where mind over matter kicks in and sometimes matter wins. But, if you're lucky, you will fight through it and take charge. If you do, not only will you feel better physically, but also emotionally. This point was proven when I came home and started cleaning. I've been looking at the house for days thinking about how it needed to be cleaned but I always found something more important to do...like watch T.V. However, today I felt so good after my walk that I didn't want to just sit and do nothing....so, I cleaned. Now, not only do I feel good about myself, I feel good about my house too. LOL

I find it interesting how different my body is in only four months....almost to the day. Now, I know I've lost A LOT of weight. I am smart enough to know that with the amount of weight I have lost I will see changes in my body. However, there are times I look at myself in the mirror, shower, get dressed, or just touch my arm that I think, "Who is this person, and why am I touching her body?" Let me explain. Last night I was showering. As I was washing my body, I swear it felt like a different person was in the shower and I was in her head. I didn't feel like "ME"...well the really fat 330lb me. I then tried on clothes I bought before surgery that were WAY to tight on me. Both things are now big on me. The shirt is less big, but I remember when I tried them on and laughed at the fact they didn't fit. The thought that they would ever fit seemed so far fetched to me. Again, I knew I would loss weight....I just wasn't ready for the psychological changes that would have to come with the weight loss. I still wear clothes that are baggy. When I do wear clothes that fit properly, I am so self conscience at first and it takes me hearing from many people that I look fine before I can actually leave the house. I have actually begun to get a little perturbed that my new favorite lounge around shirts are getting way to big for me. I've only had them for a month and a half and I thought they would at least fit until October. To be honest, I would be happy to have them for years and years due to how comfy they are. Now with that all said, I love seeing my body change and shape into the person I always felt like under all the extra weight. I never thought I was depressed but now that I've lost weight, I can say that I wasn't as happy as I could have been. I am so much happier now. I love seeing men take a double take or have them smile and flirt. That hasn't happened in years. Now before people start going off about how I'm married and I shouldn't look for that....relax. First, I love my husband with all my heart. Second, everyone flirts and everyone likes to be admired. If you say you don't...you're full of crap. And trust me, if you read my blog from a few days I go, you will know that being full of crap can be very painful!!!! The good thing is that even though the scale is moving at a snails pace these past five weeks....my body is still surprising me. I can't wait to see what it looks like around Christmas time. To be honest, I am REALLY looking forward to the day I see my parents out and about and they don't recognize me. This happens to my sister ALL THE TIME. For those of you who don't know, my sister had by-pass surgery around three or four years ago. There are sometimes I go to her house and am still in shock that the little tiny person I am talking to is her...hopefully one day I will get the same response. But for now, I am going to keep being surprised in the shower....maybe I should have said in the mirror...the other one sounds really, really bad.

On Wednesday I had my 1 year post op visit with the PA (Todd), Dietician (Kristen) and Behaviorist (Scott). I am still sitting here in shock that it has been a year already. I find myself lost in what I can only describe as a surreal state. My physical life is so different today than it was a year ago. I feel better in ways that I never could have imagined. I had a conversation with Todd today about needing to be aware of getting ill (extended flu as an example) because at my current body fat %, I could run a real risk, with such an extended illness, of my body fat get too LOW….TOO LOW….are you kidding me? Does Todd not realize he’s talking to a lifelong super morbidly obese person? How can I even conceive of my body fat getting too low? Surely he is talking about someone else; he cannot be talking about ME. Wow! I guess my life has changed. The meetings with both Scott and Kristen were nice reminders of what I need to focus on and continue to focus on as this journey continues. The first reality is that it will be continuing. I may be at a much lower weight than I was at the beginning, but this is nowhere near the end of the process. I will need to continue to be deliberate and diligent in order to be successful long term. This is a life journey and I can only strive more towards conquering those demons that are still there and need to be actively battled. Complacency and disregard for what I have been taught will only allow those demons to reappear. I feel so fortunate for the things I have learned and the people I have gotten to know over this year. Jan. 10, 2011 (Surgery Day) / Jan. 4, 2012 (1 Year post op checkup) Weight: 456 / 200 BMI: 65.4 / 28.7 Body Fat %: Approx. 44 / 12.9 Health Required Meds: 3 / 0 Neck Measurement: 24” / 15 ½” Chest Measurement: 70” / 44” Waist Measurement: 72” / 40” Hip Measurement: 51” / 40”