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Hello sleevers So at the beginning of the week, things got pretty rough. The first four days of my pre-op diet were beyond horrible. As so many of you commented, it was probably the Carb flu - detoxing is never a pleasant process. Many warned me before-hand, but I truly had no idea how bloody awful it was going to be. For those of you reading this and are just about to start, if I had some advice it would be: Be prepared - for how regularly you will need to eat, for how your tolerances for behaviours changes, how smells really effect you and how crappy you will feel. Be kind to yourself - I work long hours, am on call and had no support (work wise) planned. If I'd known what I was in for, I would have made adjustments to my work schedule, to have someone relieve me over this period. Keep your friends/family close - their support is vital but also watch that they don't inadvertently make things harder from their concern. Take things one day at a time - try not to get too focused on how much longer you have to go, just try to get through today. Go with it - I've had some pretty significant mood shifts this week, as the toxins were being expelled from my system, so just go with it. Apologise when you need to and do your very best to remind yourself of why you are doing this. I found the first few days, I almost didn't care anymore but that too passes So where am I at now? I am feeling pretty good - I got through my son's 7th birthday party without even licking the icing off my fingers lol. I am able to focus on what I will achieve from this surgery again and to feel the anticipation and excitement for my new life. I won't lie - I am glad I only have a week to go on this but I anticipate that the next week will go so very fast that I will have a much easier time of it this week. Pre-op diet, you are my Everest Hope you all are going well! The count-down has begun!! Cheers, Lila

Today marks the one week mark since surgery. I am almost still in shock that the day has came and went. If not for my limited intake and the incisions on my belly and oh the weight loss (lol) I would not believe the surgery had taken place...Other than my own self induce discomfort, I have had no pain..My steri strips are beginning to come off now. The top incision just underneath my breast came off completly and the lowers ones are all peeling at some level. I am really surprised how tiny the incisions are and how unnoticeable they will be with a lil scar treatment. I overdid it a bit today shopping and running errands so my belly was a little tender from twisting, turning and bending. I took a pain pill and it has settled down. Yesterday, was my first day back at work and it went pretty well. I was able to get in the most fluids since the day of surgery. I had a couple of times where I rushed the next sip so there was some momentarily discomfort but really all in all the fluids went down well. I did work to get in 36 grams of protein as well...Need to increase that a bit more but overall I am feeling better about my ability to get my fluids in. I did notice today that I have yucky yellow-whitish tongue. After panicking for half a second, I realize that I both need to continue to push my fluids as I had did the today and yesterday as I was likely dehydrated and that I had also entered ketosis. Ketosis, is really a fancy word that means because my body starved of carbohydrates, it is using my stored fat for energy...Not a bad state to be in...I got a bit of energy reserve to spare...lol... I begin full liquids on Sunday...So I will have a better chance at getting all my protein in. And speaking of protein I highly recommend Unjury protein products. They are absolutely the best unflavored ones and so are considered clear and can be used during the clear liquid phase. I made my drinks with skim milk to give it an additional 8g of protein and a lil sugar free caramel syrup and it was super good. I am looking forward to having pudding and some cream soups...add a lil variety to my diet. And for the numbers Surgery Date 08/17/12 Height 5'8 HW 232 SW 227 CW 218 (Down 14lbs total)

hey all!!! Day 3 post op.... FeelI better than yesterday.... Still haven't taken any of my pain meds... Woohoo go me I got 2oz of tomato chicken broth down.... Still working on the other 2oz while I'm watching Hell's Kitchen! Some of these people on this show are....very interesting hahaha!!!!! I've almosted finished my 20oz bottle of powerade zero.....starting on my 16oz of water.... I still can't seem to stay awake all day, which is screwing up my night sleep schedule.... I called my doctors office to set up my one week appointment for Tuesday..... I'm not going to lie.... I used to hate stepping on the scale..... Now, every time I go pee (TMI) I step on the scale! I love seeing my weight fall off!!!!! 241 before surgery 223 today!!!

Hi, to anyone who's listening. I'm 45 year old New Yorker, newly separated, a Mom of 2, and about to embark on a terrifying adventure...lap band surgery. I have been chubby all my life. Never the biggest girl in the room, but certainly the girl next in line after her. Fortunately I have always had enough personality to pull it off without suffering a lot of the discrimination I have seem others suffer. Despite my weight I've become a successful doctor and author and have appeared on many many TV shows talking about what I love most, my field of Psychiatry. There is not a time I see myself on TV that I don't wonder, "wasn't there some skinny little Kelly Rippa shaped Shrink available?" Obviously they like what I have to say enough to overlook the limitations on camera angles a girl my size demands. I am flattered. And when Mehmet calls you don't say no. I didn't always mind being big. I come from a family of overweight people who love themselves and carry out fruitful productive happy lives. My parents are both very overweight but smooch each other like newlyweds. I never believed being fat meant you didn't deserve to be loved, or that any doors would close because of your weight, unless of course you wanted to be a ballet dancer or a model, and I did not. Then a few years ago I hurt my back lifting my then 3 year old daughter who had had a classic 3 year old middle of the crosswalk throw down in which you either sweep her up or let her be run over by a bus. I chose the former. Really I had no choice. That moment was the beginning of the end. My daughter lived but my painfree life ended. A herniated disc. No amount of PT could make it get better. Eventually I needed surgery. Surgery didn't help. Now I need another surgery. There is not a day when my actions are not severely limited by pain. But don't worry, I'm not here to be a drag and write about depressing stuff. I want solutions. And I'm pretty sure that no matter what they can or can't do to my back, it would certainly help if I lost 50 lbs. Then there's the sad status of my relationship. When I look back on my 10 year relationship I realize that in many ways I allowed a bad situation to brew. When my spouse was working all the time and always late, missing family events and blowing off birthdays this voice inside me was furious. But somehow I rationalized that if I was the trophy wife I was supposed to be I would have had more power to make demands. Instead everything I said seemed to fall on deaf ears. With no cuddle or kindness to look forward to at the end of a hard day I could at least count on the sensual delights of a delicious dinner. In many ways the weight was my friend: When the affection stopped altogether the only thing that kept me faithful was my weight. Over the years I have tolerated a lot of treatment that I believe I would not have stood for had I not had a weight problem. Even things like my spouses smoking, which I hated, I felt I couldn't put my foot down about, because here I was with this uncontrollable behavior as well. There were a lot of things I didn't demand for fear my spouse would demand I lose weight, and I knew I couldn't. I'm tired of feeling like I can't have a voice. I'm tired of not being able to participate fully in my daughters life. I'm tired of feeling like the time in life to travel and hike and camp and kayak is past. I'm tired of wearing clothes that do not reflect who I am because someone thinks fat people like to wear rayon smocks with no style. I'm tired of having to lie down to rest my aching back when my head is full of dreams and plans and my heart is itching to participate. I'm tired of getting ready for a date wondering wondering what abominable personality trait, mole, tail, wart cult whathaveyou etc I will have to endure in exchange for their willingness to deal with my weight. So a few months ago I walked alone into a NYU lap band info session and I learned something. I thought the band was just basically a way of training you to eat less because you barf if you don't. There I learned that the band actually acts to trigger fullness nerves so that you feel satisfied eating less. That sounded awesome. Because as a physician I know a lot about Nutrition and Healthy eating. I am expert at making healthful meal plans for my fussy 7 year old who is underweight...but who I'm determined to not have develop bad eating habits. I've been going to Weight Watchers since the Ice Age but I can't eat that little!!! I know what a normal portion looks like, but damned if I feel satisfied after eating that little. Lap Banded folks say that the band really changes their relationship to food, that they are able to eat just a half a cup a few times a day and feel satisfied. This is incomprehensible to me. But man, it sounds awesome. So this fall I'm getting banded. My BMI is too low to get my insurance to pay for it. My choice is gain 17 lbs, qualify, then spend 6 months of supervised weight loss...or spend the whole $20K I've been able to save since my divorce and starting over...and Ive decided to just do this one big expensive indulgent crazy ass thing for myself. I'm going for it. I'm not going to Mexico. I'm going to NYU, the best place I know of in the neighborhood where I live because from now on I want no compromises on my happiness. I'm tired of making the budget work by taking away from what I need. I need my life back. I do this, and by next summer imagine who I can be?! My ex seems excited by the prospect of the skinny me, but doesnt know that I have plans for a personality makeover for that skinny girl. Second Chance Sally is going to be much more demanding, much less charming, much less acquiescent than the girl I used to be. Fat me was a people pleaser, a giver, the one who didn't complain. The old me really cared what people thought, really wanted people to like her. Second Chance Sally is going to speak her mind, stand her ground, demand her due and do it all wearing Desigual. Second Chance Sally is getting skinny before her kid has the chance to notice she's fat and be ashamed of her. SCS, as I like to call the new me, is so not psyched about sliming and PBing and yet more surgeries, but I'm cleaning out my storage space and for once I am not saving all those sizes I no longer fit into. Even though this might be the first chance I've had to get back into those sizes. NOPE. If in fact I do get down to those new sizes I am going SHOPPING for some new things. A new start. Will you join me for the ride?

I was having lunch with another individual, who is currently having succes with changing the way she eats and exercise, and she was enjoying a slice of cheesecake and she says "everything in moderation". Now, she is not aware that I'm in the process of getting WLS, but I did respond to her by saying " maybe for you but not me", which led to a heated debate. I have a serious pet peeve. I hate, yes, I said hate, when someone tries to tell me what I'm able to do or not do. You can make assumptions, but we all know what happens when you ASS U ME! I don't do MODERATION! If I was capable of moderation, I wouldn't be more than 100 lbs overweight. I've heard the comments, opinions over the years, even I have fallen for it, "You have to have" or " you need to have", " a little can't hurt". Food is my addiction...no,that's not right, chocolate, baked goods, fast foods, etc are my addiction and it's killing me... Why should I have these things in moderation? ..... Let me put it this way... Someone suffering from alcoholism, his/hers addiction of choice is wine, would you say to her/him " a little wine in moderation?".... I'm betting you will think that person was cruel, well that's what's it's like for me. I don't do a slice of cheesecake, I eat the WHOLE cheesecake. I don't eat scoop of ice cream, I eat the WHOLE container. I don't do the combo meal, I do the combo meal with starter, supersize and dessert. Now do you get it!..... Silence.... Just have some control, willpower, you need food to live!.... ** Sigh** ... Yes, I need food to live, but do I need that time of food? .....nope....So you are going to cut out all that food for the rest of your life....gasp....yeah, it's not going to be easy and I will have some idiot,I mean well meaning individual, who will try to encourage me to "try" something....but I will have to refuse, why? The day I get over my addiction, it will be a struggle to maintain because unlike cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, people feel that it can't hurt you in moderation, so it's offered and offered, and feelings get hurt when you refuse, but I'm just one of those people where moderation does not work. Side note, I smoked cigarettes for 10 years, 2 packs a day and was a solid chain smoker. When I was given the ultimatum by partner to quit or he goes, I couldn't do it alone. I failed cold turkey, I failed the nicotine patch... What worked is a pill called Champix( in French)... I took it for 2 weeks out of the 12 weeks and I never look back. I've been a non-smoker going into 5 years. Some people can do it on their own, I need help.Words have power, I'm currently changing the way I eat for my goal is to eliminate those foods from my diet. I'm aware of the journey ahead of me. I'm aware that the lap band will not eliminate my demons. I'm aware that I will be seeing someone about my addictions and I'm aware that most society will see my use of " food addiction" an "insult" to "real" addictions but I couldn't given a rats @$&?, because moderation will kill me.

My sister stopped by yesterday, and walks in the door and says OMG!! I can tell in your face already..... She makes me go in the bathroom in front of the mirror and we stood there and she told me to lower my face so you can see how many double chins we had. I noticed!!!!!! it was not there compared to the way I used to have BIG double chin. So then She started looking me over and said let me see your stomach so I showed her........ she said YEP I can tell your tummy is not out as far. Well I am down from my highest weight of 263 to 242... 21lbs down!!!!!!!!!! and then we measured my waist down 2 inches!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! She started saying OMG ( yes one of our favorite words to each other)" now I have to really start working on myself!" She has gained weight over the years but still not as heavy as I got, she is about 180 something. So she is doing the protein drinks for 2 meals and then salads, chicken, shirmp, and different low cal. meals. So because of my surgery my sister might get healthy also. Another side note, my boyfriend has been eating healthier he is down 15lbs by eating healthier which will help me in the long run. Been working at this since May! My mom is coming over today to do our toe nails, I bought some fun colors!! Should be a good day! Friday is my Dr. follow up appointment, I shall see how far my new scales are off from the Dr.'s scales!!! I do not look forward to the drive about 2 hours up, 2 hour appointment, and 2 hours back. So for a long day tomorrow!!

Tomorrow (August 20, 2012) I am having my lap ban surgery. A little nervous. Not so much about the surgery, but my life changes. I have a really close friend that had it done and has done really well. She still has her social life and goes out with friends for parties and suppers. The week before is awful. But I know it will be worth it.. The more support the better it goes. I have met a couple of other fantastic woman having the same surgery. We talk often and it sure does help.