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So I found out yesterday when I signed my consent that my co-payment for the hospital stay is $250.00. How sweet is it that the owner of my company said he is going to pay it for me because he is so proud of what I am doing to improve myself and my health. God is truly good, all the time.

Drum roll please.... I'm 6 days post op, weighed in for surgery on Friday at 216 lbs, and according to my brand new scale I purchased yesterday, I am 206 lbs! That's -10 lbs in 6 days. Holy smokes. Today is also my first day back at work and I'm feeling pretty good, I have a desk job which helps a lot, and I'm really trying to remind myself to sip every 2 or 3 minutes. I already made the mistake of trying to multitask and walk and drink at the same time in the hallways and I doubled over with chest pain because I took a huge gulp- I don't want to scare my coworkers thinking I'm having a heart attack. Lol. I'm definitly going to go home at lunch and lay down for an hour and just do nothing so that I pace myself and give my tummy some down time as well. Last night I helped coach a little for my club sport, then afterwards we all went to grab a bite to eat, I sat there with my Powerade as they all ate huge amounts of food, and I was almost perplexed- I had NO hunger what so over. It all smelled good, but I had ZERO temptation or desire to eat anything. They all kept saying they felt bad I wasn't eating, and I just chuckled and said don't worry about it because I DON'T WANT ANY! It was so AWESOME! So over all I'm doing great. Incesions are bit sore, but compared to a week ago I feel like a rockstar. Dr. Alvarez cleared me to swim 15 days post op and the count down is on! Once I get to full liquids on Monday and get protein shakes in my diet I know I'm going to be ready to start working out (in moderation). No regrets. At all. While I know this will be a long journey, I feel like I'm finally taking steps forward NOT backwards. I look forward to weighing myself rather than dreading it! Yay! I was sleeved Friday, August 17th, 2012 and I plan to do my weekly/monthly blog updates on Fridays to keep track a little bit more accurately. But 6 days post op this is what I got: Stats: Height: 5'9 HW: 216 CW: 206 1st GW: 169 2nd GW: 145 3rd GW: 135

Hi, to anyone who's listening. I'm 45 year old New Yorker, newly separated, a Mom of 2, and about to embark on a terrifying adventure...lap band surgery. I have been chubby all my life. Never the biggest girl in the room, but certainly the girl next in line after her. Fortunately I have always had enough personality to pull it off without suffering a lot of the discrimination I have seem others suffer. Despite my weight I've become a successful doctor and author and have appeared on many many TV shows talking about what I love most, my field of Psychiatry. There is not a time I see myself on TV that I don't wonder, "wasn't there some skinny little Kelly Rippa shaped Shrink available?" Obviously they like what I have to say enough to overlook the limitations on camera angles a girl my size demands. I am flattered. And when Mehmet calls you don't say no. I didn't always mind being big. I come from a family of overweight people who love themselves and carry out fruitful productive happy lives. My parents are both very overweight but smooch each other like newlyweds. I never believed being fat meant you didn't deserve to be loved, or that any doors would close because of your weight, unless of course you wanted to be a ballet dancer or a model, and I did not. Then a few years ago I hurt my back lifting my then 3 year old daughter who had had a classic 3 year old middle of the crosswalk throw down in which you either sweep her up or let her be run over by a bus. I chose the former. Really I had no choice. That moment was the beginning of the end. My daughter lived but my painfree life ended. A herniated disc. No amount of PT could make it get better. Eventually I needed surgery. Surgery didn't help. Now I need another surgery. There is not a day when my actions are not severely limited by pain. But don't worry, I'm not here to be a drag and write about depressing stuff. I want solutions. And I'm pretty sure that no matter what they can or can't do to my back, it would certainly help if I lost 50 lbs. Then there's the sad status of my relationship. When I look back on my 10 year relationship I realize that in many ways I allowed a bad situation to brew. When my spouse was working all the time and always late, missing family events and blowing off birthdays this voice inside me was furious. But somehow I rationalized that if I was the trophy wife I was supposed to be I would have had more power to make demands. Instead everything I said seemed to fall on deaf ears. With no cuddle or kindness to look forward to at the end of a hard day I could at least count on the sensual delights of a delicious dinner. In many ways the weight was my friend: When the affection stopped altogether the only thing that kept me faithful was my weight. Over the years I have tolerated a lot of treatment that I believe I would not have stood for had I not had a weight problem. Even things like my spouses smoking, which I hated, I felt I couldn't put my foot down about, because here I was with this uncontrollable behavior as well. There were a lot of things I didn't demand for fear my spouse would demand I lose weight, and I knew I couldn't. I'm tired of feeling like I can't have a voice. I'm tired of not being able to participate fully in my daughters life. I'm tired of feeling like the time in life to travel and hike and camp and kayak is past. I'm tired of wearing clothes that do not reflect who I am because someone thinks fat people like to wear rayon smocks with no style. I'm tired of having to lie down to rest my aching back when my head is full of dreams and plans and my heart is itching to participate. I'm tired of getting ready for a date wondering wondering what abominable personality trait, mole, tail, wart cult whathaveyou etc I will have to endure in exchange for their willingness to deal with my weight. So a few months ago I walked alone into a NYU lap band info session and I learned something. I thought the band was just basically a way of training you to eat less because you barf if you don't. There I learned that the band actually acts to trigger fullness nerves so that you feel satisfied eating less. That sounded awesome. Because as a physician I know a lot about Nutrition and Healthy eating. I am expert at making healthful meal plans for my fussy 7 year old who is underweight...but who I'm determined to not have develop bad eating habits. I've been going to Weight Watchers since the Ice Age but I can't eat that little!!! I know what a normal portion looks like, but damned if I feel satisfied after eating that little. Lap Banded folks say that the band really changes their relationship to food, that they are able to eat just a half a cup a few times a day and feel satisfied. This is incomprehensible to me. But man, it sounds awesome. So this fall I'm getting banded. My BMI is too low to get my insurance to pay for it. My choice is gain 17 lbs, qualify, then spend 6 months of supervised weight loss...or spend the whole $20K I've been able to save since my divorce and starting over...and Ive decided to just do this one big expensive indulgent crazy ass thing for myself. I'm going for it. I'm not going to Mexico. I'm going to NYU, the best place I know of in the neighborhood where I live because from now on I want no compromises on my happiness. I'm tired of making the budget work by taking away from what I need. I need my life back. I do this, and by next summer imagine who I can be?! My ex seems excited by the prospect of the skinny me, but doesnt know that I have plans for a personality makeover for that skinny girl. Second Chance Sally is going to be much more demanding, much less charming, much less acquiescent than the girl I used to be. Fat me was a people pleaser, a giver, the one who didn't complain. The old me really cared what people thought, really wanted people to like her. Second Chance Sally is going to speak her mind, stand her ground, demand her due and do it all wearing Desigual. Second Chance Sally is getting skinny before her kid has the chance to notice she's fat and be ashamed of her. SCS, as I like to call the new me, is so not psyched about sliming and PBing and yet more surgeries, but I'm cleaning out my storage space and for once I am not saving all those sizes I no longer fit into. Even though this might be the first chance I've had to get back into those sizes. NOPE. If in fact I do get down to those new sizes I am going SHOPPING for some new things. A new start. Will you join me for the ride?

Today's the day! Surgery in 4 hours!!! I decided to continue my journey with the sleeve.... Insurance is still giving me an issue but my doctor says don't worry about it! I love y surgeon! wish me luck, say your prayers

my surgery is three days away! i am extremely nervous and cautiously excited. house is organized and spotless. yard has never looked so manicured. i feel like i am preparing my home for a new baby. i will be bringing home a new member to my family after the surgery-ME.

So what dose a ralph laren Cable knit swetter have to do with anything. Last year at a size 24 all i wanted was a Ralph Laren cable knit swetter. I tryed it on it was to tight. I cryed thinking i just a fat slob i never fit into anything like this. So i hit my dr goal and I was told to celbratte victororys. Well to me this is a virctory how to celbrate. I already had my zumba party I done my mani pedi ( note to self i need another my toes are a mess) So I knew when i saw it Ralph Laren Cable kint sweeter it was ment for me. I proud to say i did not need the EX Large eather. I love my new swetter. I love my new life I love my new closet full of cloths.. I love the fact that I can do things i never dreamed i could.

Well, it is day 3 of my liquid diet. The first two days were amazingly easy. I wasn't really too hungry but today is a different story. I have a headache, tired and would like a cheeseburger but would settle for a healthy salad just to chew something. I did find a protien shake mix I like. I went to Complete Nutrition, the guy there was so nice and let me sample all the different kinds. I settled on smart smoothie chocolate fudge edition, it mixes extremely well with my almond milk and is even creamy like a milkshake. I had my physical today. I also had my first appointment with a psychologist (not for the psych eval). I have issues of resentment toward my dad and anxiety issues not to mention food issues I want to work out. I have gone through Overeaters Annoyomous and know from experience when the food goes away all the repressed issues come up. I want help to deal with all the chaos brewing underneath the flab and food abuse. I am very intrested to see where this journey is going to take me; looking forward to the highs and overcoming the lows. I am excited and tired more than I am hungry right now. Only 7 days to go, I know I can make it but I will most likely whine about it sometime of the time.

Another week of the weight yo yo for me. I am back to drinking shakes to get enough protein in, and taking biotin to help with the hair loss. I still love my sleeve but not loving me or the choices I have made in the past few days. For every action there is a reaction and so that cookie or ice cream cone adds weight on. Better choices this week for that sweet tooth that has managed to show it's ugly head again. I found those Fiber one brownies are really good and only 90 calories so that is my choice for this week. I wasn't going to write every week because it was getting hard to put feelings on page, then I thought about it more and am going to continue to write every week. This is the only place I have to put down in words what I am feeling and how having the sleeve is effecting me. I love that I am getting smaller and changing shape, the down side clothes are expensive , I think I can live with that as a side effect heheheheheh sleeveshakes.doc

I am so excited....The Wii can no longer tell me to "GET OFF", it used to tell me how mobildy obese I was and until I changed that it would not let me play I was "TOO FAT". Well today I had the most amazing thing happen, I stepped on the scale and low and behold it read under 300#, this is the first time in over 12 yrs...I can say that I have seen the number under my feet. I have so much energy and have rewarded myself with new dining room walls and living room wainscoting....LOL, funny it used to be I would reward myself with a candy bar or a big tub of ice cream.... I am so thankful to Dr. Aceves and Dr. Campoz for giving me the tool to change the rest of my life. My son always asks "mom, can you have ......?" "well I can but I prefer not to." I found during the sermon on Sunday a perfect responce to his question.... I Cor 6:12 "Everything is permissable, but everything is not beneficial". Now that sums up the moto for the rest of my life...