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Spanx - This all started when I decided to put a dumb joke on a forum post. The question was a serious one, about when you could start wearing Spanz again after surgery. So I added a version of the age old joke, and it was well received: A guy is undressing at the country club and his friend notices he is wering a pink girdle. He asks when his friend stated wearing a girdle. His friend replied, "Ever since my wife found it in my car." And since I now have a good bit of extra skin around the old equator, I thought, maybe I should see if there is something like that for me. Well, it turns out that there is and soooo much more. I do not see myself as the kind of guy that needs or would wear a pair of briefs with butt enhancers, but it is good to know that if I need them, they are out there - in three color options and an entire array of various lifts. I guess I am lucky in that my butt looks pretty much like it should (I guess). So I do not see this as a necessary accessory. I do think it is funny that you can get different lifts, like determining how high you want to jack up the rear end of your car. If you do not know, Spanx actually has a brand for men called "Manx." It is very expensive. A "compression T-shirt" is 88 bucks. Seems a bit high since it is still 80% cotton. The other 20 percent must be stainless steel if it is going to hold me in... Now about the briefs. There is way too much enhancement going on. Not to be rude, and I understand that men come in all sizes and that goes for each and every part. Again I guess I am lucky there as well. But unlike other things I do not need, I do not see the point of these. This is one area that it seems like if your plans are successful, your secret is going to be out. Finally, what is with the models? The people that are wearing these things do not need them. I get it. You have to sell sexy. But a guy buying a pair of underwear designed to squeeze in his gut like a boa constrictor does not want to see a 30" waisted model wearing it. I need to see if it works. I want to see a big guy in it. I do not need to see smooth tanned sexy abs rippling through the spandex like ... (sorry got carried away there). Give me a good trucker, or a lumberjack, not a super model. With a shaved chest no less... I have chest hair, but I do not shave them - either of them!! Granted, on the man's thong page (which I was only visiting for academic reasons) the super models are nice, but for the shapers ... we need more offensive linemen and less tight ends. (pun intended) Finally, I will admit that you ladies are awesome for wearing some of these things. They look very constricting. And some go from your ankles to your neck line. If I did that I would either have size 25 feet or have 25 chins looking like a badly folded cheap pink turtleneck. You can only squeeze so much, it has to go somewhere. You gals can let it all move upward and enhance the bustline. We do not have that option. Maybe they could squeeze it down far enough and around the corner and make a combination waist reducer and butt enhancer. So I guess I just need to order one and see how it looks. Who knows? Maybe it will take the giggle out of my middle, until I get it down to where I want it to be.

It's getting closer to my date and I am more excited than nervous thankfully. Luckily or maybe not so, I have had major surgery before where I have been cut open front and back ( spinal surgery for inquiring minds) and I had no complications, healed up very quickly. so I know I tolerate anesthesa well just not the morphine pump, hopefully, I won't be in too much pain. I am more nervous about the liquid diet and nawing off my left arm while I am asleep due to the food depravation . I am left handed so that would be a big problem. I am more nervous about afterward, like what if I don't lose weight? My mother says (she's a nurse) that it is impossible but that irrational fear is still there. I am looking at this surgery as the last option so if it doesn't work, what then? But for the most part I am confident it will work if I work it. I am really looking forward to eating less, I have done enough eating for a few lifetimes. I rather live my life fully now. God Bless you all, Love Linsey!

so now is the real test. can i really stop drinking liquids before and after meals? will i be able to cut out my favorite carbs? can i do a liquid diet for two weeks at a time? i don't know! and now i get feedback from loved ones that say "dont do it!" "are you sure about this? you know how WE eat?" i've been known to be a 'quitter' in my own right. i am guilty of this from time to time. but i do understand the severity of what i am doing. i know the consequences of my actions from here on out. i dont want to fail at this and somehow gain my weight back. i have not heard stories of that yet, is it because it's too new of a surgery? i know in my nutritional classes most of the people getting a lap band or sleeve were there for revisions of a surgery gone bad (not the surgery but ther person gained the weight back). i dont want that to happene to me. i'm scared of that! this is all new for me, in my head i want a healthly lifestyle. i want to be healthy. i want to success with thsi surgery. i knwo it is only aa tool to use to help me, i cant expect to do nothing! i have to do the two things that i could never do on my own: EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT!! can i do this? YES I can. i believe in visualization. i see myself thin and happy and enjoying life as it should be. not to be confined by my body image and the restraints of being morbidly obese.

It seems almost surreal to say that I am on my 5th day post-op. I had surgery on Friday 8/10 evening and came home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. What a whirlwind this last week has been! It somewhat surprised me how much I needed to take care of in the 24 hours or so before surgery: pre-meds, and gathering items to take to hospital, as well as preparing to be away from home for a few days. Then it was off to Palms of Pasadena Hospital in St. Petersburg, FL, where I was so well cared for by the wonderful staff. My surgery time ended up being a bit later in the day than anticipated; however, the hospital staff was wonderful about keeping me posted and comfortable. The next thing I knew I was waking up in ICU and it was all over. My surgeon/hospital always require ICU for the first 18 hours or so after surgery. My NG tube and catheter were removed the next day when I was moved to a regular room in the Bariatric Center. My pain was not horrible because they had a morphine drip going that I could activate with a button as needed. I found that I really didn't have to use it very often. For the first little while after surgery I felt "teathered" in so many different spots by medical equipment. One by one, they came out and I was so happy to be free of all of them just before I left the hospital. Since coming home, things have been good. My pain has been quite manageable with some discomfort at night and a very "full" feeling all the time. I really have not had hunger at all and am eating very little but making absolutely sure to get my vitamins and calcium in as instructed. I think the water requirement is really helping me to stay full feeling also. One thing I wasn't prepared for was coming home from the hospital about 7 pounds heavier than I went in. It may have been all of the IV fluids and swelling due to surgery, but by the second/third day home it was gone and the losing has started again. Thanks goodness! I mean, that was the goal of this thing, right?! I actually have six small incisions (three across the bottom of my tummy above the bellybutton, two up my left side, and one at the top a little left of center). So mine looks more like a "C" than a "Y". I have to say that my surgeon, Dr. Ernest Rehnke, is EXCELLENT! He's well known and highly respected in this field and he's been doing these surgeries for decades. My incisions are not painful and only one of them has any substantive bruising. Everything seems to be healing up well and the incision areas are now itching--which is a good sign of healing. For a busy person who never stays still for very long, it has been hard for me to take it easy and rest and not really DO anything. But I am trying because I know it's important to my recovery. I am also taking short walks as I can. It's August in Florida so I have to admit it's tough to make myself go out into the heat. Each day does get a little better and I hope by the end of the week I'll feel pretty normal... or at least my new normal. The doctor has me on full liquids until my 2-week post-op visit and if all is good he will move me to solid foods then. Maybe all of this is more than you wanted to know, but maybe it will help someone who is a few steps behind me on this journey. We will get there! It takes time, patience, perseverence, and the ability to change. Well, I'm off now to read or write some thank you notes. Until Next Time...! Starting: 317# Pre-Op: 296# Today: 294.5# Total Down: 22.5#

OK - so I went to Smoothie King and they have this category of smoothies called Trim Down and I thought - GREAT!! A strawberry banana smoothie with extra protein will be great for breakfast. Until I got to work and went on their website and saw it had 84 carbs. Are you kidding me? How can that be categorized as a slim down anything??? Off to the garbage it went. It was soooo yummy, but that many carbs? No way!!!

So I've had a new realization and "benefit" from this surgery that I never anticipated. I should first explain that I've always been pretty much of a nobody to people, throughout high school, college, work, public, etc (except for friends and family of course). What I mean by that is that people would pay no mind to me anywhere I went, that or I was made fun of for my obesity. I haven't really had a lot of time by myself in public until recently. Because the weight loss seems to be doing wonders for the management of my Multiple Sclerosis, I decided to go back to work again. So I'm doing flu vaccine clinics at the Walmarts in the area and my first day was yesterday. Basically I sit at my table and people watch and smile until someone comes up asking for a shot. In the past this would of terrified me, being in public where so many people would have the opportunity to stare and poke fun, etc. But my new found self esteem squashed out all those thoughts. So here I was, about to get set up, meeting with the store manager and pharmacist when I hear, "Hey how are you!" I ignored it, not thinking it was to me, but my eyes wandered to the source of the voice, and a vaguely familiar guy is standing there with some packages (Fedex uniform). I looked behind me thinking he was saying hi to someone else. And he said "Hey how are you" again and followed "Do you remember me." I frantically searched my mind for a name to match his face and said "Mmmike?" lol idiot sounding me. And it was, this kid that I went to high school with and although my high school class was only 14 people, he was definitely one of the kids I never spoke to and always assumed made fun of me (he was known for his meanness). So I said hi and we had a short convo and he left. And I thought it was SO weird. I've run into other people from my high school class throughout the past few years and they've always politely ignored me and pretending they didn't know who I was. Which was fine for both of us. So this little conversation which was a genuinely nice conversation surprised the hell out of me. As the day went on, I started noticing how many people were nice to me. People my own age, who never used to pay me any attention were stopping to say hi or were friendly to me. I had all ages of people stopping and having conversations, something that never used to happen. It's sad really, that humanity is like this. I never realized that there would of been a difference to how people interacted with eachother all based on looks or weight. Since my surgery, I have now lost close to 150lbs, still am overweight, but not like I used to be, have thrown out the glasses and gotten contacts, and due to my new size I can wear more fashionable clothing. It's awful that this would make a difference to people. But I can't say that I'm not pleased. After spending most of my life as the fat girl, I am going to soak up some of this attention. I am happily married and would never want anything to change that, but my "Inner Goddess" was smiling and jumping up and down everytime a cute guy would slow down while passing my table to say hi, how's it going. (Had to reference 50 Shades ) My husband enjoys my new self confidence and the fact that I don't mind going into public anymore. But this definitely was yet another change that I was not anticipating and one that I'll gladly take! Anyone else notice these changes in themselves?? I have always worked in a nursing home or a rehab in my short career as a nurse and you know how the elderly can be so blatant and forward?? Well, I used to get comments from my patients ALL the time about my weight, so come January when this job is done with for the year and I look for a new job, I wonder how my patients will speak to me then and what changes will be made there? tata for now!