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When Alex suggested members take a three day challenge by tracking every little thing they eat or drink, I thought, "Sure. Why not?" I figured that I'd just be writing down what I was tracking in my head, so no big deal, and I could not only say I read the <i>whole</i> newsletter, but I actually took action. So I attached a sharpened pencil to my daytimer and commenced to keep track of everything I put in my mouth. As I looked over my lists last night, I admit I was very close to tears. I would say that the past three days have been pretty typical for me - nothing really out of the ordinary that I could say messed up or changed my regular habits. So no excuse there. I cringe to write this. Over three days, I drank a <i>total</i> of 102 ounces of liquid, consumed +/- 950 calories, and had ZERO protein. I hope y'all were sitting down for this. I swooned myself. How could I, by any stretch of the imagination, call this healthy eating? Ick. Alex's challenge (and the outcome) brought to mind an experience I had working with a nutritionist for the benefit of a mutual client. One day while we were discussing ways in which to re-connect this starving girl to reality, the nutritionist said, "I've found that anyone who has problems with food has an almost infinite capacity for self-deception." Ouch. I'm certainly confronted with my capacity for self-deception. How did I ever morph the reality of that list into something different in my head? I was pretty confident I was keeping track... accurately. Of course, I filed away the decision to "...have more protein tomorrow" in the back my mind. Under a pile of other **** and covered with a mental wet-wool-blanket. Seeing in writing that I'd done that for three days in a row kind of puts my stated commitment to "get healthy" in jeopardy. And, as I am wont to tell my clients, "When the words and the actions don't match, you always go with the actions. They tell the truth." Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. So, this morning, HWHN and I had a long discussion about what it really means to change our lifestyle. As it happens, he's just had his first complete physical in five years (I see all the women roll their eyes and the men shrug) and it turns out he's great except he's pushing the envelope for cholesterol. Ah. This requires a lifestyle change for him too. No more chocolate (he's the chocoholic) and no more cheeseburgers stuffed with deep-fried onion rings. (Fortunately, HWHN is not overweight, but apparently his arteries are protesting.) The 'lifestyle change' discussion precipitated a general discussion about our life, and we've decided to make some other changes as well. We've done this before, he and I - we know we can do it again. Changing our lives the first time meant I beat off the MS and got out of a wheelchair, and "flipping over the Monopoly board" again brought us out of the cold of the Great White Up to SandyTown and changed the course of HWHN's genetically-inherited arthritis. We can do this again. So an "epic fail" has caused us to take stock of what we're actually doing. Not just what we <i>think</i> we're doing. No. Really doing. And we're not doing so hot on the whole self-care thing. But, that's about to change. It's already begun. HWHN wants to avoid having to take Lipitor with all its attendant side-effects, and I'd like to get out of starvation mode, continue losing weight and keep at least a little bit of hair. Here's to Alex - thanks for the newsletter, the challenge, and the opportunity to really confront the self-deception that "...doth so easily beset us all."

It has been one whole month since my surgery. I unfortunately still feel like I'm a sick person recovering though between eating mushies still, taking liquid omeprazle, and pulling an internal stitch 2 weeks ago. However, today my stomach (where I pulled that stitch) is finally not bothering me as much. I can finally sleep on my side, which has begun to help my back pain a lot. And, so far any mushie food I've feed my sleevie has agreed with me. I went through a phase about 2 weeks out where I was freaked out over the amount of liquids I could handle in one swallow. I didn't need to sip anything by week two, I could take pretty regular sized drinks. I was worried I did something wrong. My doctor assured me, I just healed well and fast, and was happy for it. Now I freak out sometimes when I can eat what feels like it should be a lot, like 1/2 cup of fat free re-fried black beans, and I only feel full there at the end and can eat it in 30 minutes. Like... wow. Um, I thought that this was supposed to be harder? I guess maybe in the end, when all the healing is done, and I'm on regular food again, that I might be happier that I can eat most things. I've been super careful and slow when I introduce sleevie to something new. I take micro bites at first, sort of testing the waters, and then I'm like ok, we're good. And another food goes into rotation. I'm going to be trying tuna and chicken salad this week. I had to mentally get past the mushy meats idea. But, I do want to introduce meats to my system again before I'm eating real food again. I think I forgot that its a actually a goal to be able to eat a little closer to "normal" portions by the time I'm totally healed. I will be able to handle 2-3 oz. of meat, 1/4 cup of veggies, and a couple of tbsp. of brown rice. This amount of food sounds absurd to me in one sitting right now. Speaking of food...I've become pretty on top of healthy alternative recipe hunting. One of my post-surgery changes is cooking more often from home, making clean & healthy whole foods, and experimenting regularly with new recipes. I found cauliflower pizza crust! Protein donuts?! Yes! So long as this stuff tastes as amazing as my head thinks it does, (after 5 weeks of mushies and 3 weeks of liquids it will all taste good! LOL), then we're ready to rock and roll. I'm going to do my best to follow for the most part a low glycemtric diet for the rest of my life. Because I'm human, there will be "normal" food days, and I'm not going to feel food guilt those moments ever again. Food guilt is ridiculous in my life, and I don't need it. I felt guilty when I ate. Period. If I had a healthy sandwich, whole wheat bread, smoked turkey, low fat mayo, loaded with veggies... I'd feel guilty. That is something I feel I'm past now, and I don't want to ever feel like that again. I'm slowly getting past my, "Buyer's remorse." It has been harder than I anticipated for me post surgery. Not the food, I've been disciplined and not even thought about challenging my post-op diet at all. Its been physically not being where I am capable of being mentally. My pulled stitch has slowed me down, and it has frustrated me so much. I still have to take it easy, when I want to go walk a mile. I want to grab my hula hoop and just go nuts dancing, but I can't do that for another 4-5 weeks. Heartbreaking for me. I want to pick up my little dog and cuddle him like a baby, and I can't do that for a while either. I miss drinking while eating more than I thought I would. I was sad to think I can't drink milk and eat a PB&J sandwich at the same time. Is that forever? In a year or two, can I do that again? I'm just mentally past the healing and change part, and feel stunted in my ability to go forward because of this injury, and my back pain I've been suffering since I've been having to lay on my back so much. I'm back at work, but still can't bend over or reach up or move as fast as I did before... I'm ready to feel like myself 100% again and I'm pretty sure I still have a few more weeks before I will. I am rather pleased with my 37 pound weight loss, and don't even mind that I'm in a stall right now. Ah. This getting my thoughts out thing feel good.

I am going to say something that is opposite. If you are going to go into this surgery go into it 100% Why wait until 85% of your stomach is out to work on you? Aren't you worth more than that. Spending your time pre-surgery gaining weight is not the right way to go into such a very restrictive surgery. All surgeries carry risks, why not do your best before surgery to limit the risks by taking care of yourself. Start charting your food on something like myfitnesspal.com Start trying to lower your carb intake now. I put myself on 800-1000 calories a day (I usually stayed around 800 calories and on my "fore-special days" where I went out to eat at Red Lobster or a Japanese Steakhouse - I went higher. I made sure I kept my carbs 45-75 ...unless it was a fore-special day, which I only did once a month or maybe twice a month. I lost 10 pounds a month during my pre-approval phase. I got to have my favorite foods once in a while, but I also learned to break the bad patterns that you will need to break eventually, if you don't break it pre-surgery, well who says you are going to be able to break if after surgery? Learn to not drink with your meal and wait 1/2 hour after you eat to drink your water. Chart your 64 ounces of water a day, chart your exercise. Learn how to do this now. Limit your caffeine until you can go off it completely (imagine weaning from caffeine and carbonation during pre-op shake....) people that do it before pre-op shake are more successful. If you are going to have Last Suppers, or Last meals before pre-op shake don't do it the day before do it days before because carb overload, will make pre-op shakes so much worse. Nobody said you have to starve yourself, but why gain weight? Wouldn't it be nicer to have less to lose after surgery? It sure was for me. Even if you lose 10 pounds or 5 pounds pre-surgery isn't that something to be proud of? Aren't you worth putting 100% effort into this? The food issues you have pre-surgery, the comfort food, or the love for food don't disappear after they take 85% of your stomach. You are still going to have stress, you are still going to have anxiety, you are still going to need comfort. I guarantee you, if you work on these issues before surgery and put effort into this, you will be more successful after surgery, because the surgery doesn't cure what caused you to become overweight to begin with. This is not meant to put anyone down, this is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but this costs a whole lot of money and this surgery is NOT a walk in the park. It takes hard work and dedication and it will not solve your problems if you don't work hard for it. Best of luck to you all.

Nice to see so many new face's on LBT. I have the day off today so I was trying to catch up on the web site. It is nice to see some old friends and some new faces. I am Diane and I was banded on October of 2010. I have now lost 112 lbs and am 8 lbs from my ideal body weight, a healthy BMI and healthy percent body fat. My journey like all WLS patients has had it's ups and downs. I have had my share of plateaus and difficulties and I can not tell you how much this web site and the people on her who are now friends have helped me. I have been a silent stalker and finally an active participant. In the beginning I didn't feel I had much to share so I read, listened and tried to learn all I could about my body and lap band. lap band got me started on this journey but after the initial 50 lbs the work really starts, honestly having lap band is just a little insurance.(sorry if you did not realize this but it is true) It is like having an extra conscious, that says,"Now you know you have eaten enough and if you take one more bite I am going to make your throw up if you take one more bite" "See I told you" I still have days when my eyes are wanting way more than my tummy will hold, and my 3rd conscious (hubby) says, Di ya gotta lot of food on your plate, you know you can't eat all that. I hate it but he is right. I can not say enough about my family, friends, co-workers and cyber friends. With out all of their support I would never have made it. They have held me accountable and challenged me when I felt things were stalled. Hard work, dedication, goal setting and sticking to the program works. The old saying is so true, "You are what you eat!" I love eating healthy now, I feel so much better, I have so much more energy and I am off all of my asthma medications and blood pressure medications. I never thought that would happen! I love exercising and I love working out with a trainer. Yes it is hard work, yes it takes commitment and yes it is also expensive but I made the financial cuts in my daily life because my health is worth this, I deserve to be healthy. I am thin now, WOW, can't believe I said that but I do have to admit, I am thin. I wear size 4" and 6's, I have no boobs left, (but a really sexy bra from Victoria's Secret with some sexy panties) I do have a little loose skin on my upper thighs and tummy could be tighter. But hey my arms look awesome and with "Justin's" drilling in the gym I will tighten up the other areas in due time. Will I be perfect, "Hell to the No" but you know what for a 56 year old lady who used to weight 252 lbs and wear a size 24 I look pretty damn good. Soooo. lapbander's new and old my words of wisdom to you are: Love yourself, believe in yourself, never lose site of your goal. This is not a "DIET", this is a life time commitment to living a healthier life style. This is about beating the odds, this is about being accountable to yourself. We can lie to ever one else and say, yes I am following the rules when In our hearts we know we can give more. How bad do you really want this? How much are you willing to give? After all it is your life! I am giving this 100% plus, I am so worth all the hard work, dedication and commitment. Remember you are worth it also, give your self a break, forgive your self for what went wrong yesterday and move forward. If you dwell in the past you will never have a future. Hugs and Best Wishes to all my cyber friends, thank you for all your support and encouragement!

Don't look back, your NOT headed that way! Feel good about about yourself and where your going now. Life is too short, enjoy!

SleevenChica, you definitely feel me.....yep, we need an Intervention, lol.

Hahaha, I love karma :-), not wishing her bad or anything. I just love karma. You look great.

I wonder if the success following the surgery vs. success/failure rate of doing it without the surgery comes down to the ghrelin hormone that is depleted when removing 85% of your stomach so your body is no longer able to produce so much of it. So, following surgery, your body isn't able to produce so much and your brain is now free to work without interruption from an overactive hormone to cause failure? Just my thoughts. (This might be why you "get" it and your hubby and mom didn't. You don't have the hormone produced as much any longer, but yet they still do.)

good luck!!!

I've been losing hair slowly for five months....I also can't seem to get near the required 60-80 g. of protein a day. My question is, will I continue to lose hair until I DO get that much protein a day or will my body eventually adjust to my new diet. I'm 10 months post-op....and luckily no one else notices my hair loss yet...just me; but if this should continue....