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NOTE: As always, this is a funny look at the things that have happened/are happening as I continue on my weight loss journey. I in NO way plan to replace food with alcohol or need to be told how bad I am for drinking one night with a friend (mind you it's a friend I haven't seen in 15 years). Please don't feel the need to lecture me or get passive aggressive with your comments. As my regular readers know, I am just giving a comedic side to WLS. Also, remember that everyone's journey is different and just becasue I may or may not be doing it the same way you are, does not mean that I am better or worse than anyone else. Ok, I think I covered it all. As always, enjoy and I hope the story puts a smile on your face. Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged but I've been one little busy beaver. I had my friend and her family in from Costa Rica, then my friend from Ireland came in for two weeks (she is still here), and while she was here, my brother-in-law and niece came for a two night visit. Needless to say, I've been the hostess with the mostest. I've really missed doing my blogs. They seem to keep me focused and help me put things in perspective. I've also not had time to do myfitnesspal.com. So, for about a week and a half, I haven't written any of my food intake down. That just makes me feel like I've been a bad, bad girl....and not in a kinky good way. (sorry, those hormones are still pouring out of the fat cells LOL) Anyway, I have so many stories for you all. I wish I could just sit down and type them all for you but I can't so today I am going to let you know about my first drinking experience since the sleeve and the interesting things I've learned from that experience. I hope I can give you a good idea of how the night went as I am not sure if I remember it all....but more on that later. First, you have to understand how I met my Irish friend Cat. 15 years ago, I worked and lived at the beach. Cat worked at the same place and even though she didn't live with me, I swear there were times I thought she did. We were 21/22 and we were having fun. We worked hard and played harder. We spent many nights at a bar across the street from my house and only a 1/2 block away from work. I somehow was able to keep up with all the Irish kids that were in town for the summer. I could go one for one with them with any drink (except Guinness. That stuff is REALLY thick). I was even told I had become an honorary Irish lassie ( I even learned most of the Irish pub songs that they sang). I tell you all this to explain that after 15 years, loosing more than 1/2 my stomach, and a lot of weight I for some reason thought I could still drink like a fish. Never mind the fact that I haven't drank in almost a year (except for an occasional glass of wine or a night cap). So, we go into a local bar and order two drinks. I got a L.I.T (long island iced tea) as I have always enjoyed them when they are done well. As I drank my drink and did some catching up with my friend, I could feel the effects of the liquor seeping into my blood. I won't lie, I enjoyed it. Paying less to feel this way was great (before anyone freaks, I don't plan to go out drinking on a regular basis......BUT....it was nice to go out and spend less money and get tipsy). This is about the time I knew the night was getting ready to change. The bartender (a little bored) asked if we wanted shots. "Are you buying them for us?" I asked. Of course he wasn't but after talking it over with Cat, we decided, "Hey, why not"? Now as I explained already, I haven't seen Cat for a long time and we needed to go on "a tear". Patron it was. Lick. Slam. Suck. OHHHHH how smooth. Now, from that moment on, the night began to just blend together. I know I played pool...and lost. (wonder why!!!) The drinks went down easier than I ever remember them going down and I have to admit, I was enjoying myself. Through it all, I never felt “drunk”. I mostly felt tipsy and then I would feel mostly sober....then tipsy again...and so on and so forth. I never thought anything about it as I was having fun and enjoying being out and about...the alcohol was just an added positive. Then, we decided to go to another bar only a block or two away. Now, you have to understand that drinking and feeling tipsy was a whole new experience to me. I would go from being (or should I say feeling) sober then in just a few moments, I would be “footloose and fancy free”. The back and forth wold happen so fast, it wouldn't make any sense but to be honest, I wasn’t trying to make sense out it as I really didn’t care.. So, when we left to go to the other bar, I REALLY thought I was sober...that is until the curb jumped up and tripped me. I know it grew at least a foot with out telling me. There is no way a sober gal, like myself, could have missed that curb. Then, as always, I did my thing. I fell. I fell hard...and I fell fast. My knee was the only thing between my face and the pavement and because of that it was all scrapped up. Even my hands had stones imbedded in them, and I am sure I messed up my back just a little more than it was. It was such a hard fall that even the person driving passed stopped to make sure I was alright. Poor Cat, was so concerned, and all I could say was, "Really, I had to fall TONIGHT?" LOL...then it happened. I felt DRUNK. I collected myself, raised myself up from the ground, dusted off my knees and hands and tried to focus on the person only a foot away from me. Needless to say, it took awhile to focus....mostly because my glasses went flying off my face were now in Cat’s hands. Not seeing well is only intensified when your half blind. LOL Once I put on my glasses, Cat and I began the walk (she walked I stumbled) to the other bar. Then it hit me when we were almost there. I was sober. It was like I hadn’t had a drink at all. How was this even possible? So, I did what any sober person of sound mind and body would do....I ordered a drink. LOL As I was sipping on my drink, we decided to get something to eat. I also figured that maybe getting a little food in my tiny stomach may help....it didn’t. I still went back and forth from sober and drunk but now it was happening faster than I can even begin to describe. After finishing up there, it was time to get home. Yes, we were safe about it and no, we didn't just wait for me to "feel sober".. I thought my husband would find my stories funny...and he did when I told them to him sober. But BAM, next thing you know I’m drunk again. This of course caused an argument. Now, I should be more honest. My lack of knowing when to just keep my mouth shut and go to bed is what caused the argument....nothing else. But for some reason I felt it would be a great idea to go for a walk. So I walked out the door and made it down three steps and then THUMP....yes, that’s right, I fell down the steps. I figured this would be a good time to go back inside with my head down and my tail between my legs. Once I did that and listened to my husband give me a very short lecture, I took my Tylenol and went to bed. When I awoke the next morning, I remembered why it was that I no longer drink like I am still in college and then I then looked at my knee. I should say I felt my knee...then I looked at it. Yep, it was bad. It was all scrapped up and swollen. It was so stiff that I was unable to walk down the steps of my condo to get to the pool. I felt like a total gimp having to take the elevator because I was sloppy drunk...or should I say a sloppy sober one minute, drunk the other person? Anyway, .I did get the to pool and worked it out. I had to as the day after my Irish drinking reunion, I had my 20th H.S. reunion (more on that tomorrow) and I figured I would have to be able to walk that night for it. It worked. I got my knee working (and ended up hurting my shin...not sure how), and I was ready to face all the people from H.S....or at least as ready as I'd ever be. Funny thing is, I was more upset to realize that I was no longer Irish!!! Apparently when they took my stomach, the doctors also took my Irish drinking crown as well. Needless to say, lesson learned. Funny thing is, I am sure it won’t be the first or the last lesson I learn after having this surgery....I mean it’s only been three months. But to be honest, this lesson was a fun one to learn...up to the point I fell down...no, that didn't damper the mood.....it was fun until I woke up the next day hung over. LOL

I have a few things to get off of my chest today not to mention the 150 lbs. that I need to lose. As I sit here at my window seat desk, I can see my reflection staring back at me. It disgusts me to see the rolls of fat as I sit crunched in this office chair. My uniform shirts seem to shrink even though I wash them in cold water and hang them to dry. I have my fan blowing on my face because it is hot, (105-108 heat index today) but I would rather put a jacket on to cover up the rolls of fat because I don't want anyone seeing them. Like people can't look at me with or without a jacket and tell that I am morbidly obese right? Anyway, I just want to sneeze, blink or click my heals together and the weight be gone. I failed to mention that another thing that I am constantly worrying about while I sit in my chair at work. There are offic chairs for normal size people and office chairs for fat people. So who wants to seriously go to the office supply purchasing agent and say "I need a fat persons chair"? Not me. One day while sitting here I heard a loud pop. I instantly jumped out of my chair and examined it. Everything looked fine so I gently sat my large ass on the edge of the chair unsure of what had just happened. Suddenly, a loud noise that sounded like a gun shot went off drawing everyones attention to me ( I sit in a cube with 7 other people and none of them are FAT! I jumped up out of the chair and the spring mechanism had broken, stripped, gave out or just decided that it couldn't take my fat ass anymore . Oh yeah, I forgot to add that this chair was only 9 months old. So, daily I hold my breath and hope that it doesn't happen again before I can get this weight off. I am sure that no one else has ever had anything like this happen to them, RIGHT? : )

Week 17 Last week’s weight – 204 This week’s weight – 202.8 Total weight lost this week – 1.2 lbs Total weight loss since surgery – 43.2 lbs Average weekly weight loss since surgery – 2.4 lbs I am very happy to see a loss this week. I lost the .2 I had gained last week and another pound. I am past the WOW stage of weight loss (where I see a massive amount of weight – which I say is anything over 1.5 pounds – melting off of me). I’m now in the “recommended” level of weight loss – approximately .5 to 1 pound a week. I’m still exercising (walking 3 miles most mornings) and I started adding in some light weight training afterward. I use the exercises in the book 8 Minutes in the Morning by Jorge Cruise. His basic premise is if you add in some very moderate weight you will see a bump in your weight loss as muscle burns more than fat. I’ve only done it six mornings so I can’t really give it a solid review (I’ve had the book on my shelf for YEARS). I didn’t like the order of the activities so I cut out the exercises and rearranged them so they made sense to me (essentially I don’t want to have to get up off the floor to do a standing exercise so I do two floor exercises instead). There were some complaints about that on Amazon after I bought the book so I thought I would solve the problem myself (although I hate cutting up a book L). I had a training class that involved eating out every meal for three days. I thought I did pretty well with my low carb choices and I kept at least half of every meal for breakfast the next day. Lunch was a cold cut sandwich bar and I just steered clear of the bread. I did have wine several nights (the hotel had a free happy hour – hard to turn that down!) but I made sure to exercise while I was away. I weighed myself when I got back to see the damage and I had lost the .2 pounds I had gained last week. I don’t tend to weigh myself everyday but I do weigh myself once a week. I have a girl friend that doesn’t weigh regularly and she recently stepped on the scale and was in shock she was at 220 (from 180). I think the weekly weigh in keeps me accountable (as well as posting on this blog). I bought a new bathing suit at Kmart this week (all their suits were on sale I bought a regular size 18 bottom and I couldn't find a matching size top so I got an 18W top - I need to have my mother-in-law bring up the straps in the back so it gives me more chest support but still from a size 22 that is not bad!). I had to donate my size 22 one from Lands End because it was too baggy. My other suit is all black and I wanted something more colorful. A friend took this picture of me at the beach. Normally I wouldn't have let her but I figured I might need a comparison shot as we go into next summer and I am hopefully at my goal weight. My challenges this coming week – Going out with a friend to Olive Garden (already looked up low carb options and will limit myself to one glass of wine). In a training class two days and it most likely will involve lunch out both days Taking a friend for a medical treatment out of state and will be eating out 4 days (hoping the hotel has a workout room). I’ll let you know how I do next week!

So, last night as I soaked in the tub and smoked a joint (oh, that tends to happen quite often so if you're opposed to reading about bad habits and debauchery, you'll need to carry on), I pondered the workings and purpose of this blog. I'm not sure if a WLS forum is the best place for me to spill my emotional guts, but most of my dysfunction is related to being a fat girl. So, why not? Too bad there's that whole "it feels like anonymous venting" and "I'm really just a narcissist" paradox. But anyway, I digress. So, I am a fairly goal oriented person. I do better with deadlines. And, I know that the lifestyle changes involved in losing weight are forever, but I do better with discomfort when there's an end in sight. The other part of my bath tub ponderings included memories of many of my bubble baths. They're my time to think. My time to pray. My time to plan. To over analyze. To cry. To get high. To question myself. To challenge myself. To deep condition and clean my pores. I started thinking about how it's refreshing that my attitude and overall feelings on life have improved so much from just three months ago. Three months ago I had a bone crushing breakup. My heart turned to powder. I swore I'd never love again. And, with Adele's album 21 as a soundtrack! It was torture. And, I never thought I'd get over him. And so here I am. It's three months later. I've started dating again. And, I've had some really terrific dates. And, seem to suddenly have a few interesting prospects. We'll see.. Anyway, it only took me 3 months to grow back my heart. And, to get the kick in my step again. To get the hitch in my giddy up. So, where do I want to be in 3 months from now?! Let's see. It will be close to Halloween! My favorite holiday! What would happen if I committed to this silly blog for the next 3 months? And focused on my weight loss. And blogged about it. Where will I be in three months? Where CAN I be?! A lot can happen in 90 days, my friends. Where will YOU be? Let's find out, shall we!?

Congrats!

omgsh, Your poor brain. lol. Husband has asked me about stuff like that.He thinks if I can loose weight before the surgery on my own, than why have surgery. I try to explain to him. I have lost a large amount of weight in the past, with the use of prescription meds. I lost about 60 pounds in a year. Well they only let me have them for a year. It was super stressful trying to fight my hunger and 30 years of bad eating habits without some "help" i.e. pills. I kept it off for 2 years and then it just crept back on. What I am trying to say is, yes you can get it off with pills and stuff, but will it stay off? For me I know it wont. At least this way I am forced to eat right. No more eating like a pig one day and starving the next, I feel like the lapband is going to force me to make new habits,and from what I have read, if I do try to eat wrong, it will probably be the last time, because of the consequences, and I am not that hard headed, I dont like it when bad things start happening. I know you have probably been racking your brains trying to decide. Just remember once it is off, you want it to stay off. If you can do that on your own, then that is wonderful, I just know I couldn't. Good luck to you and let us know.

That is AWESOME! Congrats!

Congratulations to you and thank you for posting this. This is a great source of inspiration for those of us who are just beginning our journey.

How wonderful for you! Congrats!