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Funny how when we look back, so many of our memories are food based. And the way family and food go together - Thanksgiving, Sunday dinner, so much of our family interaction is around the table. Being 100% Irish, I do not have quite the great Italian food stories. But some good soda bread... or the New England Boiled Dinner: potatoes, carrots, cabbage boiled in a pot with either a piece of something dead, or an old shoe... never did find out which it was - did not much matter after all the boiling.

I could practically smell the gravy & meatballs while reading your blog :-) I think a lot of us older folk grew up knowing that wasting food was a sin. And Lordy, I used to be able to wolf my food down! I worked very hard with my children & now grandchildren so that they are allowed to enjoy good and healthy food but not be burdened by it.

Jim your story is all too familiar to me. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, and when they found it, it was Stage 4 and already metastisized to her bones (spine). They found it incidentally on an xray of her back. She had tumors in all 5 lobes so they couldn't operate. After about 6 months they found a brain tumor, and she had surgery on that. She lived for 3 1/2 years at Stage 4. Did every type of chemo she possibly could, countless weeks of radiation. Right before starting our "last option" for chemo, they found she was in liver failure and therefore couldn't start chemo. It was a long, painful journey for everyone involved. Cancer just doesn't touch the patient, it touches whole families. She passed away in 2008 and there isn't a day that goes by we don't think of her. It's such an awful, awful disease and it really does take no prisoners. We've done Relay for Life for the past two years, hoping to raise enough money country-wide to find a cure. One day, I know they'll find a cure but until then people have to keep fighting and praying!

you and your father are in my thoughts/hearts and prayers

Several years ago, I lost my granny to colon cancer and my father-in-law to nonhodgkins lymphoma so I have an idea what you must be going through. Try to stay strong through this difficult time. Also, have you contacted your local American Cancer Society Relay for Life. They are a wealth of information about the desease and can give you ideas on how to cope with the situation. They even have whats called a "Road to Recovery" program where they find drivers to take patients to their appointments. I just can't say enough about the programs they offer for not only you but also your Dad. I'm on the board so if you have any questions feel free to ask and best wishes to your Dad and yourself.

You can do it. When I quit smoking after 35 years I kept telling myself "I never want to go thru this again". I have been smoke free 12 years. Doing both at the same time is quite a feat. You will be in my prayers.

If "the boys" really NEED potato chips, could they not eat those necessary potato chips somewhere besides your home? If I keep stuff like that in the house, it's way too easy to eat it. But if it's truly essential to have potato chips in the house, go ahead and eat them...but do it this way: 1. Read the nutrition stats on the package. If one serving is 13 chips, count out 13 chips, put them on a small plate or bowl. Then close the bag and put it away where you can't see it. 2. Take the plate or bowl of chips to the dining table. 3. Sit down at the table, all by yourself with the chips. No computer, no TV, no magazine, no radio, no distractions. 4. Eat the chips one at a time, concentrating on their texture and flavor, so you get the maximum enjoyment out of them. 5. When the chips are gone, put the empty plate in the sink or dishwasher. 6. Go back to doing whatever you were doing before the potato chip attack hit you. The point of all that is to put you in control of the food, instead of the food in control of you.

One word, MEN! They were not wired to nurturers! Call on your Aunt since she volunteered. Will be a great opportunity to deepen your relationship!

Actually, it seems that congratulations are in order. You asked a friend to help, he said 'Yes,' but his behaviour raised red flags so you asked someone else for what you needed. Great self-advocacy, actually. And putting it down to cynicism or pessimism actually dismisses the people skills you have developed. You rock. It's not about only relying on yourself... that's not always healthy either. It's about recognizing the discrepancy between what someone says and their actions... you always go with the actions. Instead of guilting your (former?) friend into keeping his word (what fun that would have been!) or having a pity party and deciding you're going to "do it myself!" you reached out to someone else. I'm sorry your friend wasn't as reliable as you wish, but you solved the problem in advance. Ta da! For the nerves, do a little strategic catastrophizing, and then contingency planning. Think about the absolute worst case outcome for the PAT, and then decide what you'll do about it if that outcome happens. Make real plans. "If the PAT finds that I'm not in my right mind and can't competently make this decision, what will I do?" Make a list. Then go on to the next worst case scenario. Do that until you've covered all the possibilities. Then put the list in a safe place and willfully, mindfully, refuse to think about outcomes. You've got it covered. And keep yourself busy. These will be the longest three days of your entire life if you're doing nothing. Hang in there! You're almost there. CE

I have found that ya cant count on any one in ya life....even family....just got to take care of business yaself...lol...I have one of my kids coming to sign me out of the hospital as they wont let ya leave by ya self......then I am getting in the car and driving home....I rely on NO ONE EVER.......ya cant really blame them all...they just dont want to help you or anyone...I dont either....cheers...Nanci