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There is a comedian that talks about how even as an adult he laughs everytime he squirts out the shampoo and it makes a PPHHFFLLTT sound. Well, I guess I am like that. There are two things I have seen on here that just made me think like a 12 year old... 1. In a perfectly serious and nice forum post one user posted "It is official, I am in a stall." Then she went on to describe her frustration at her weight not moving at all for like 2 weeks. Definitely a stall and a very frustrating one. Nothing to laugh at....... Well, all I could think of when I first read the headline was that she was stuck in a public bathroom somewhere. I can just see me stuck in a bathroom - and being the goof that I am - I would text something like....It's official, I'm in a stall!. Sorta had to be there, but I thought it was funny 2. The one thing that really cracks me up... and I am dying - literally dying - to be able to use this on some unsuspecting person. In this very specific subject website we have our own vocabulary that no one else uses (foamies, sliming, etc.) And we all know what we mean because there is such a fine and narrow context built into all of our posts. However, we fling around the terms pre-op and post-op like we own them. We do not own them. There is another very narrowly defined group that uses these very same words. And they are not talking about having your stomach cut off. They are aiming lower -much lower. I hope I can just drop in a conversation somewhere that I am 2 months post-op with no additional information. Then just watch to see how people treat me. We all know that big people are treated different. But I can only imagine that if people thought I had just gone through surgery to change my "accessories." That would be hilarious. I couls also probably answer questions honestly. Did it hurt? no. How long were you in the hospital? not long. Do you feel different? oh yes!! Do people treat you differently? yes. Was your family supportive? Yes, especially my wife and kids - that ought to get a look. Then go for the total freak out. Do you want to see my incisions?

You have to admit we have been through some funny stuff. There are all kinds of indignities to being overweight. But the stuff we have gone through in our VSG journey - all in the name of beauty - are above and beyond the norm. I will do an entire post on the rope-down-the-nose test, but that was one of the weirdest things I have ever had to do. And I am convinced that the doctor knew what he was doing when he picked a cute, incredibly personable young lady for that job. 'Cause I'll tell you one thing, if she was not sweet, funny and personable, I would have strangled her with my slime covered nose rope. BLECH. Or when the nurse, in getting me up to walk around the hospital floor at 10:30 at night was having to fix my gown. I do not know what she was doing back there but (no pun intended) it seemed to take a long time and my fanny was cold. So, I will post here, as I am not sure that my silly humor is always appreciated by unsuspecting readers when I reply on the various forums.

Yes, today is 1 month out of surgery. And what have I learned? And how much have I lost? What I've learned is.............I don't know how much I've lost and just don't care to watch the scale. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was FUN to watch that scale like a hawk for the first couple of weeks. The pounds literally melted away over night. And then..........I hit the stall.......and got scared. Met with my surgeon 3 weeks post op and was immediately questioning him. He reviewed what I was eating and told me to EAT.......yes, EAT. His words were "quit worrying about calories and just eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full." Of course, he followed with the guidance to eat sensibly, if I consumed milk shakes all day I certainly would stop losing weight and start gaining............ok So I've learned 1) don't be stupid, eat girl! 2) be active, the more I move the more I want to, and 3) give up the old habit. See, the old habit of counting every single bite that went into my mouth and watching the scale like a hawk got me in this situation in the first place. It was a vicious cycle.....eat strictly - not the results I anticipated, back to trash intake - increase in weight, feel like I don't deserve good things so punish myself by either starving or binging on garbage, slap myself back into reality and back on the diet band wagon........and so on and so forth. So I am measuring my success in this journey (at this point) by how my digestive track is functioning (if I eat enough food, I poop w/o problems), how my clothes are fitting, how my face and hair are looking, and how I'm feeling. I'm down a full size in jeans......and the smaller ones fit just right, not to tight, but not saggy bottom either. My bras fit differently. My daughter noticed I have a waist. My hair is not falling out (I must admit, I remain a dedicated consumer of the Unjury protein shakes daily), my skin on my face looks better than it has in years (less puffy) and I am beginning to rediscover my old energy. I like moving. I don't hurt after I walk or do a little weight resistance work.....and I don't hate exercise any more. Not sure when I'll step on a scale again.........and not really stressing about it is an unbelievable release from a life long burden!

So after 2+ years of thinking about this surgery EVERY day and the commitment to change, I have finally scheduled the surgery. I feel a sense of relief that I have made the decision and can now move on. I guess you can't call me "impulsive." I now have a sense of fear and desire to eat everything before the big day. I am not planning on doing that, but needed to get that out there. Just typing those words helps take out the power of them. Well, we'll see how this goes. Best to all.

I've been out of comission for a while, had to get a new computer. Got a little netbook so I can keep in touch everywhere I go! The other notebook laptop had a bunch of stuff on it from my kids (games) and I couldn't get it to run. I got this just for ME ME ME! Had a long day today, applied for my passport for the trip to Mexico,should be here in 2 1/2 weeks- 3 weeks they said. Just a waitin'...

Today was my first weigh in at the doctor's office and I lost 10 lbs! Yay! Super stoked that the hard part of the past week has paid off. Everything else is looking great and should be progressing nicely. As shy as I am to tell those not overweight that I have had the surgery, I have found comfort in meeting all the patients that had surgery in the past week at our nutrition meeting today and all the friendly, kind, motivational people I have met here online. I feel a sense of freedom I don't have around "normal" people. It's like you all get it. You know what it's like. And I'm not a failure or giving up by having the surgery. I'm making a commitment to changing my life for the better. Thanks everyone for being so awesome. It's amazing what support can do for us all! We're all in this together! A