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Ok, sorry one day late, but I was BEAT yesterday!! There was a special workout class for Zumba yesterday as in we were supposed to all wear red, white and blue. AHA...ok. I wore my Texas Rangers t shirt. But I was mistaken for the time and got there an hour early so I was convinced by an older woman to join in on the class that was going on- a Nike Fit boot camp!!!! That class killed me more than Zumba, but I went forward. It was the same instructor who kept mentioning that Zumba followed the boot camp and she challenged/invited people to do both. So I did. I was only able to do 23 minutes of Zumba before I cut out. I just couldnt lift my legs or arms for it. I felt like a rag doll. But I weighed before I left and it was 245. So Ive recovered some of the ground I had lost last week, yay! Afterwards we spent the 4th of July at Six Flags over Texas. Walked the whole park from 4-9pm and then we went to a firework festival in Bedford, more walking. Probably another mile or so. Now this morning I can barely walk, hahaha.

Holla fellow bandsters! Yes you read that correctly. I have not only survived Hell week, but I believe I have thrived! That's right, 1 week ago at this very moment I was home watching TV and safely banded. I don't remember much of anything else that evening, that's why they make anesthesia so good and narcotics. I took quite a journey this week. I was dealing with the obvious issues after surgery, but I also did a bit of "spirit surgery" if you will. When your incapacitated for a time you have no choice but to think, because you can't do much else. If my brain had a disclaimer it would read: Do not enter without parental supervision. Today was minimal pain, I took 1 pain pill all day. I had my coffee this morning. 40 of strawberry protein, that's 40 oz of liquid, not exactly sure how much protein. My Crystal Light Pink Lemonade and I drank an Energy Wild Strawberry Crystal Light and did not get my headache, which had become my 9pm uninvited guest every night. I finished it off with a small bowl of cream of chicken soup and it was fabulous. I am not restricted yet, but I was full and content. Fingers crossed. I thought about pain, I thought about food, I thought about fat, shopping, clothes and the extreme heat. I thought "What the hell have I done?", then thought "I wish I would have done this sooner." I thought about education, I thought about government, sex and relationships. I thought about death and sickness, then I thought about life. I thought about swimming, showering, scars and plastic surgery. Protein powder and chicken broth, religion and meditation, rain and storms, vacations and casino's, friends and lovers, marriage and divorce. I thought about stages of motherhood, I thought about my children, and your children, boys, girls, babies, and old people. I thought about pets and people, good vs. evil, guilt and shame, honesty and integrity and words with friends. You catch my drift, I shan't bore you with more words with different letters. I have gratitude for this forum, it actually helped calm my pain and craziness. You know what they say, "If you see CRAZY coming-cross the street!" We know most of us not only invite it in, but beg it to stay and set an extra place for dinner. My personal experience is just that, just as your experience is your own. When we bring these together we are an encyclopedia of knowledge, on this topic at least! I have learned that not only is everyone's experience different, it is also the same in many ways. Even though most of us have had the same "procedure", the doctors have given different instructions to you regarding your surgery, whether it's the road leading up to it or the weeks following the surgery. The important thing to remember is sort of what we should know already, just because someone else has been advised to eat or drink from a specific or nonspecific menu, doesn't mean it will produce the same result for you. Yes kids, that's why we always check with our Dr. before doing something different than their specific instructions. Now that's a disclaimer. I see my surgeon Thursday afternoon and because of you good people of the page, I have come to the conclusion that more than likely I will not receive a "first fill" as the lady indicated when she called to schedule the appointment. (you guys rock) After all, it will only have been 9 days since my surgery. I also had a large hernia repair, (Dr said large, not me-I prefer petite words) Why the heck stress my body more while I'm still in healing mode? Besides, I have only been somewhat hungry maybe twice all week. Not because I was sick, or nauseous I didn't have alot of those symptoms. Because I had already started my journey months before in January when I saw my Dr. for the first time. I never had that "last buffet" or felt like I had to eat "as much as I can-while I still can" frame of mind, I don't know why because I sure have done that before, several times as a matter of fact. Every time I committed myself to a new "diet", (yeah, yeah I know don't call it diet, it's a lifestyle change) I would give myself license to eat, I didn't do that this time, I thought about it, I had the choice and I chose NO. That's when I knew I always had the power, if I needed a bread twisty around my stomach to remind me then so be it! I will not be ashamed and start my journey with that burden, nor will I think about it as my cross to bear. I think of all these younger people getting to start over and it puts joy in my heart. Tomorrow is Independence Day and I couldn't have picked a better holiday to come next. This 4th of July will find me thinking about our troops both here and those not here, walking my dogs in the morning, going to a movie with the boys in the afternoon, deciding where to watch fireworks, and knowing that my Independence Day will be every day for the rest of my life. Onward and Upward my friends, Happy 4th of July and as always, Lo & Behold..... Velvet

Aw Ginny, It will happen, you just can't shut off your mind, or anyone else's for that matter, I did a lot of catch up reading as well, nothing to do with weight loss either! I had my post-op today and will blog about it later. I'm so happy for you and EVERYONE who has made this step, also happy that I could ease your mind because trust me I worry enough about everything for everybody! Kiss Kiss

With yesterday being the 4th of July naturally my husband and kids were overly excited about going to watch the firework show, I on the other hand was far less enthusiastic. When getting ready (as usual) this overwhelming sense of disgust and depression takes over me. Nothing fits, nothing looks or feels right. I feel so out of place in large crowds. I'm not a shy person at all and I remember the time I use to enjoy crowds. I cheered in high school and college for a min. I loved crowds! The thing is when my attitude sucks I don't think I'm pleasant to be around. Who else has felt this way? And it seems as though the closer I get to picking a surgery day, the more I realize (or rather the more I begin to admit to myself) that my weight is way out of control!

I get that feeling... I am approved for surgery, but still on the waiting list... I thought when I began this process, that by now - July - I would have already had the surgery and there would be far 'less of me'... With summer being unbearably hot... nothing fits, and I refuse to buy more 'fat clothes'... I am trying hard NOT to give into depression and EAT. Ya know? (

Thanks for sharing your letter to self. I start my pre-op diet on July 6, and will keep this little nugget in mind. Each day at a time.

Good Luck to you....I to woke up with a great out look on it all....I told myself if i want to loose faster..I have to work harder...so I set my alarm for a hr early and I went for a good fast walk ( with out the kids) and I am going to work extra hard on portion control......OOO i use fitness pal and logged it out early in the night and told myself...I was done no going back and adding to it....fingers crossed it worked....God is Good !