Leaderboard

I was banded in April of this year and I have certainly had my ups and downs. Good news is the ups and downs was all mental because physically I couldn't have wished for a better outcome. At 450 pounds I was certainly nervous about anesthesia and the actual surgery. My Surgeon absolutely rocked and he gave me kuddos during recovery about how good of a job I did preparing and shrinking my liver. We both had exceptional days that day. So, I have been banded about 10 weeks now and I have lost 48lbs. First month after surgery was the roughest because my mind started playing tricks on me. I started thinking weight should be falling off of me instantly and it wasn't. I dropped a 172 lbs between 2003 and 2004 doing Atkins and some how I had it my mind that with the band I would drop weight even quicker (which is not really healthy anyway). Well, I am dropping it fast. It is really easy to get caught up when your stepping on the scale daily. Every morning I would step on the scale and then just get annoyed and start wishing I had bypass. I am still not great with the scale as I am stepping on it every other day but now I don't get hung up on it like I was in the beginning. Rome was not built in a day and neither was the 486 pounds. My Wife often tells me I don't give myself enough credit for what I have accomplished both pre-op and post-op. I told her my problem is I am still hung up on the past and the dis-service I did to myself. In 2003 I was 393 pounds and I did Atkins so by Christmas 2004 I was in Disney World weighing in a 219 and I was on top of the world. 174 pounds gone and I thought it was forever...I started enjoying life and indulging. I never changed my habits. I went back to poor eating and gained it all back plus 93 additional pounds. For the life of me I don't understand how I got from 219 to 486 pounds. How did I let it go like that, I understand it is no fault but my own but why didn't the people around me not stage an intervention. I am trying very hard to find peace with it and the fact I failed. It is hard. I hope maybe once I hit 393 again my mind might be a little more at ease. What has me the most concerned is hitting that 219 again and not falling back into my old ways that got me to where I was in October 2011. Today, I have to say with the band and the 6cc's I got in it I no longer have cravings. I no longer desire to simply walk to the fridge or pantry and eat. My habits have changed as well as my appetite. I no longer live to eat. I eat to live and I only eat when I am hungry. I cannot explain in words how different I look at things. I used to sit down in front of the tv and eat a box cheese its and a liter of diet pepsi. Now, I have no thought for that stuff. No cravings, no mental arguments. I sit down now and watch t.v. I don't think about eating. Not even during commercials. It just feels "normal" to eat when I am hungry and that's it, no side eating... Is this the way it supposed to work???? Did having this band "cure" my head hunger or am I just in the zone to a point where junk food and binging is just blocked mentally? Maybe I shouldn't try to analyze it and just enjoy the ride. If you have read this far then thank you...I rambled on a bit but what the hell I find that to be therapeutic...

Working out isn't easy when you have back issues. However, being in the water is a great way to get pain relief and to get some exercise in with out hurting myself even more. I live in a condo so the pool is shared by everyone in the neighborhood. Usually there aren't many people there which is great for me and my work outs but I still get some strange looks from the people who are there (including my husband). Now, I can't just dive on in and swim. I mean I can, but I will pay for it the next day. I also can't do a lot of bending and flipping or a lot of ab work. So, what I do is walk. I walk back and forth in the shallow part of the pool. Now, this can get very boring. Also, there is only so much people watching someone can do. It get's a little strange when you are caught looking at the same person for the fifth time because you can't believe she's wearing THAT, or looking at someone's boyfriend for the sixth time becasue you are really looking at the clock over his head but she can't figure that out. Trust me honey, no one wants your man....he's not even half as attractive as you seem to think he is and by judging by what I see in his shorts, he's not that great in bed either. Anyway.....maybe that was a little much....but I'm just telling it like it is. So, in order to keep my boredom down and to make sure I don't get myself in any trouble with the girl who shouldn't be wearing that bikini or have the guy's girlfriend jump in and drown me, I've begun walking back and forth while reading my book. Not only does it help me not look at the people around me, it allows me to walk back and forth and lose track of time. Yesterday I walked for an hour. AN HOUR of walking in the water!!! I was shocked. I didn't even notice I was getting my workout....and isn't that how it should be? Why can't every workout be this easy? I could have waked for another hour except I knew I would hate myself the next day. So, from now on, I plan to get my walk done in the pool, with my head down and my nose in a book. That way, I can still be alive after the workout and not have my neighbors hate me. I think it's a win win for everyone.

Hey guys, I am in a really good mood. I meet with my nutrionalist today and she said that with my insurance Horizon Blue Cross/Blue Shield she believes that my weight management diet is just 3 months*YIPPEE*. She says of course losing weight is great while on the program, but as long as I maintain and don't gain they will be happy with that. I am planning to lose some weight by following the eating habits that she gave me. Hell it is better to start now before the surgery and get used to it. So now that you guys know what is going on with me, tell me, what is your latest update and how have you been?

Day 151: Too Normal This morning I weighed in at 185.2lbs and then I walked into my closet and stared at the emptiness. My closet is EMPTY. I literally cannot wear anything I was wearing five months ago. Well, at least not unless I'm going for the baggy look. I'm so surprised that I've stuck with it. I'm still doing all my protein, getting in all my fluids, taking my vitamins, and exercise is just a part of my life now. But my name is Miss Fickle, I'm known to grow tired of doing the same thing within a matter of weeks or months. I'm just amazed. I've been able to change my habits. Seriously change them. I still worry about the day I let my guard down, but I can't imagine it right now. I do not crave popcorn when I go to theaters, I feel *sick* after just a few tastes of my friend's ice cream (a splurge for me) -- and I'm not sad about it. Real food has never tasted so good to me. And the *fake* foods just do nothing for me now. I have a few bites of pasta, and I'm not jazzed about it like I used to be. Funny thing, I love the smell of the pasta cooking. Some days, I just don't know how I got here. It seems like just yesterday I was waking up from my surgery. It was just last Christmas I was huffing and puffing on my brother's stairs. I have gotten out of the habit of journaling. Not happy about that, but it's been nice to have a break. I got to the point I had almost every meal memorized, so I just stopped. I'd like to get back into it, I know I will. But so long as I'm still losing, I'm not too worried about it. I keep to what I know, only deviating for a bite here and there of special things on rare occasions. It's nice to feel normal again. To not worry when a friend wants to go out, to not panic when I'm going to be gone all day and need to pack snacks. I look at my scars and wonder if it was just a dream? Now, I just need to sell some of these clothes that are taking up all the space in my guest closet before my mom comes to visit!!

I am scheduled for the VSG on July 18th and cannot hardly wait to feel better in my own skin! However, my anxiety is growing as the days tick by and I will begin my Pre-op diet while we are on vacation (bummer)! I have tried several protein shakes and supplements thus far, so I would know what to pack for my vacation. We have a very limited supply of that kind of stuff where I live, so I have to purchase things like Isopure by mail. Just curious on what types/flavors of protein are good.

Well it has been 6 months since my gastric sleeve surgery. Up to now the weight was flying off and I was having no trouble meeting my 10 pound goal per month. This wonderful weight loss stopped dead after entering my 6th month. It is so frustrating to get so close to my goal weight and then bam it stops. Of course this is different for every individual. Every person responds differently to weight loss surgery. With Gastric Bypass surgery the average weight loss is 60-77% Excess Body Weight Loss (EBWL) in the first two years. That means that if a person is carrying 100 extra pounds, they will lose 60-77 in about 2 years. The Sleeve is 60-65%. These numbers are averages for large populations of US patients. I called to Dr Michael Feiz and spoke to him about this. He said this was a normal reaction that my body has now lost more than 60% of my excess body weight. The weight loss per month will now go down from 10-15pds per month to 2 to 5 pounds per month. Having talked with the dietitian on staff with Dr. Feiz we came up with new meal plans to achieve each goal per month. Morning meals now consist of complete protein such as protein shakes or an egg white omelet. Lunch – 2oz of protein with fruit such as a ½ of apple or pear. Mid afternoon snacks, a small piece of cheese or a protein shake. Dinner – consisting of 2oz of protein and 3-4 oz vegetable. Not drinking with any meals all this does is fill the stomach with empty calories hence I was hungry shortly after. Drinking 60 to 70 oz of water a day is a must. What I do after each meal, I drink 6 to 8 ounces of zero calorie free flavored water or Snapples diet. Every hour I drink until I have satisfied my total intake of fluids. Its so easy to start slipping into the old habits of eating when you don’t see the weight flying off. I found myself snacking on empty carbs, not drinking the fluids and just having this nonchalant attitude with myself. I also stopped doing my daily routine of exercise. Staying on track is not an easy feat to do. It can be a complete disaster when you start giving up. The scale will tip in your favor if and ONLY you stick with your doctor’s advice. Having the gastric sleeve is not a “cure all” for your weight loss. It takes dedication and determination to follow completely through even when you are at stumbling blocks. My best advice for this – stay in touch with your doctor. Tell him/her what’s going on and what to do to fix this. Ask questions and most of all don’t give in to temptation even when the scale does not show to your favor. Stay true to yourself…you have come so far with your weight loss. Don’t sabotage yourself and fall into old habits. Given the right tools to beat these temporary obstacles thorough education process and ongoing support will give you every advantage you’ll need to over achieve. If you are serious about losing the weight and are willing to dedicate yourself to what needs to be done you will achieve your ultimate goals. Remember you are in control of you and its up to and only you to make this happen.

Holla to everyone reading! Well it's been almost exactly 48 hours since I was banded. I'm still sore to bend over, coughing, and laughing are somewhat painful but tolerable. I went to the grocery store today, my son went and did the lifting for me. I had no problems except the heat outside-WHEW LAWDY it's a hot one! I have a call in to the nurse because I am not the least bit hungry. I had to make myself drink some chicken broth last night, and some protein today. I feel as if maybe it's filled already, although my first fill is scheduled July 5, I don't think I'll need one at this rate. I can drink everything as much and as fast as I did before, just not a single hunger pain, or desire to chew at all. Maybe it's part of the "healing" process, maybe because my Dr. also said he repaired a large hernia? Whatever the case, the facts remain that I'm not hungry. I still have 5 bandages on, 1 over my belly button, 2 on either side right above, and 1 far left and 1 far right. It seems as if the soreness is evenly distributed. Tonight is the big bandage removal and taking a shower YAY! I believe I have some surgical strips that will remain until told otherwise, I think anyway. My throat was a little raw and voice was slightly hoarse from the tube, but that is all but gone away. The way I feel right now is that a "fill" in my band in 7 days would be too soon, especially when I'm forcing myself now to take nourishment. I'm thinking it's a little longer to heal from the hernia possibly, not sure but I intend to ask the nurse when she calls me back. Have a great evening everyone, onward and upward Lo & Behold!!!

I try to stay away from full frontal naked mirror shots of myself. I think this is something we learn to do as we get bigger and bigger. I can't tell you the last time I stood buck A@@ naked in front a mirror on purpose......then again, why else would I stand in front of one? But today, I did. Back story to how this finally came to be. I was laying out at the pool today and I looked down at my legs and I thought, "Hummmm, is that just weight loss or is it skin? is it a little of both." I then tried to ignore it, but ended up in the water doing leg lifts and any other leg work out I could do to help "tighten" the area. So, after a 1/2 hour of trying to work the area, I decided to just relax and enjoy the sun and fun. Now, anyone who knows me knows that once I get something in my head, I can't let it go. I do obsess sometimes....ok, most of the time....my husband is laughing and saying, "you mean ALLLLLL the time.". ANYWAY......lol So, I decided to pack up and come home. As soon as I came in, I took off my bathing suit and went to stand in front of the only full length mirror in our home. Remember, fat people don't like full length mirrors...they are the enemy. I haven't had a full length mirror in my home for over 10 years. The only reason I have one now is that it's the door to one of the closets in the house. As you can imagine, I didn't pick that door out. At first I couldn't look at my whole body. I stayed focused on my boobs and up. I am used to seeing this section of my body before or after a shower so I knew what to expect. My chin is a normal one chin, my face had thinned out, my collar bone is beginning to show itself and my boobs are hanging a little low. SIDE BAR: Every time I look at my boobs (even before surgery) I sing this tune, "Do my boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can I tie them in a knot? Can I tie them a Bow? Can I throw them over my shoulder like a continental solder? Do my boobs hang low." So far I haven't been able to make a knot or throw them anywhere except in a bra to push them up. Now you all know that song is stuck in your head right now....don't lie. LOL Ok, so they looked the same. The boobs were hanging a little more and my "wings" are a little more wing like. I take a deep breath. I slowly allow my eyes to move down my naked body. The tummy area is looking smaller. There is some possible loose skin but only time will tell for sure about that. My hour glass figure is starting to show itself again (my husband is in heaven about that) and for where I should be right now after surgery, everything looks like it should. Now, I don't plan to run out and buy a bikini to show off my six pack abs. I may go by a six pack of beer to show off since I can't really drink it. LOL Finally, I look to my my legs. Now, before I explain what I saw, you have to understand that prior to my back issues, I was always active. I was never"thin" but I was toned and tight. My legs were very muscular and I always hated how bulky they were. Then today as I forced myself to look at the area I was scared to death to face thigh to eye (a little word play LOL) , I realized I was no longer 25. I still have muscle but much less. Then I saw it or should I say THEM. The jowls. Right between my thighs in the upper part of my legs under my special lady place. They just hung there, all wrinkled up and looking like they should begin slobbering soon I was expecting to find the rest of the bull dog but thankfully that didn't happen. I was shocked. When did this happen? Was it before surgery and is now worse due to the weight loss? Then I looked at my thighs to my knees? Yeap, there is all is. It all made perfect sense. I have lost so much weight so quickly that my legs already need a lift and I'm just half way done with my weight loss. By the time I am ready to have any reconstructive plastic surgery, I will be tying things in bows and throwing them over my shoulder. Then It all really hit me. Once I am done losing the weight, I will be thin but I will have the body of a ninety year old. How can I feel sexy wearing all that skin? I can see it now, "Honey, just throw that left boob over my right shoulder and then you separate the jowls between my legs to look for the "area"." Yeah, that's a real turn on. Lucky for me, I have a great husband and someday soon I will have a great plastic surgeon. My new song after I get my jowls removed and my stomach tucked and my breasts filled and lifted will be, "They don't hang low, or wobble to and fro, the surgeon cut em off becasue they were hanging to floor.......I'll have to work more on the song but you get the idea.

Happy New Year Everyone! ???‰I'm doing this blog to help others who are trying to find support and information for their weight issues. Today is the end of week one of my gastric plication journey. I had surgery on Dec. 26 in Tijuana Mexico with Dr. Ortiz. The whole experience was great and it has been much easier than expected. This first week is all about creative ways to get quality calories into my body that come in the form of clear liquids. I have always had trouble with milk products but after plication my intestines REALLY, REALLY don't like milk. I made a drink from the "Bariatric Advantage" 27g of protein powder mix. The reaction was extreme gas. The noises were impressive but I was not happy! The base of the protein is whey, which is milk protein. BAD IDEA? This was the only real discomfort I have had so I heeded to lesson #1: Nix the Milk. I am not hungry at all but I am recognizing a specific tightness that is relieved by some yummy clear liquids. On new years eve I decided that wine was a liquid and gave myself permission to drink a bit but when it came down to it, I couldn't drink it. Even thinking about it right now turns me off. The other unexpected turn offs are chocolate almond milk, which I mixed the protein powder. YUCK! I LOVE chocolate almond milk and I drank this with the protein for two months preparing for plication but I could not get it down. So far I have had no cravings, just the opposite. I have also had no pain, except from lesson #1. I am off of work but if I had to, I could probably have worked today. I took down all the Christmas lights with my amazing husband ( my personal cabana boy). No problem with light lifting, stretching and bending with my knees. I left weight till last. There has been a lot of discussion about weight loss On this forum, but the fact is, no one has control of their weight loss, only of their actions that contribute to weight loss or gain. I started drinking two meals a day and eating one 7 weeks before surgery and lost 19.5 pounds. Since I returned home I have lost 4 pounds. BUT in the 5 days I was away for surgery, which involved less than 400 calories a day I gained 6.5 pounds. I toss this into the WTF file and rest well knowing I did everything right. Bottom line, I'm thrilled with my decision and excited to see what 2012 has to teach me. ???™