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I was banded in April of this year and I have certainly had my ups and downs. Good news is the ups and downs was all mental because physically I couldn't have wished for a better outcome. At 450 pounds I was certainly nervous about anesthesia and the actual surgery. My Surgeon absolutely rocked and he gave me kuddos during recovery about how good of a job I did preparing and shrinking my liver. We both had exceptional days that day. So, I have been banded about 10 weeks now and I have lost 48lbs. First month after surgery was the roughest because my mind started playing tricks on me. I started thinking weight should be falling off of me instantly and it wasn't. I dropped a 172 lbs between 2003 and 2004 doing Atkins and some how I had it my mind that with the band I would drop weight even quicker (which is not really healthy anyway). Well, I am dropping it fast. It is really easy to get caught up when your stepping on the scale daily. Every morning I would step on the scale and then just get annoyed and start wishing I had bypass. I am still not great with the scale as I am stepping on it every other day but now I don't get hung up on it like I was in the beginning. Rome was not built in a day and neither was the 486 pounds. My Wife often tells me I don't give myself enough credit for what I have accomplished both pre-op and post-op. I told her my problem is I am still hung up on the past and the dis-service I did to myself. In 2003 I was 393 pounds and I did Atkins so by Christmas 2004 I was in Disney World weighing in a 219 and I was on top of the world. 174 pounds gone and I thought it was forever...I started enjoying life and indulging. I never changed my habits. I went back to poor eating and gained it all back plus 93 additional pounds. For the life of me I don't understand how I got from 219 to 486 pounds. How did I let it go like that, I understand it is no fault but my own but why didn't the people around me not stage an intervention. I am trying very hard to find peace with it and the fact I failed. It is hard. I hope maybe once I hit 393 again my mind might be a little more at ease. What has me the most concerned is hitting that 219 again and not falling back into my old ways that got me to where I was in October 2011. Today, I have to say with the band and the 6cc's I got in it I no longer have cravings. I no longer desire to simply walk to the fridge or pantry and eat. My habits have changed as well as my appetite. I no longer live to eat. I eat to live and I only eat when I am hungry. I cannot explain in words how different I look at things. I used to sit down in front of the tv and eat a box cheese its and a liter of diet pepsi. Now, I have no thought for that stuff. No cravings, no mental arguments. I sit down now and watch t.v. I don't think about eating. Not even during commercials. It just feels "normal" to eat when I am hungry and that's it, no side eating... Is this the way it supposed to work???? Did having this band "cure" my head hunger or am I just in the zone to a point where junk food and binging is just blocked mentally? Maybe I shouldn't try to analyze it and just enjoy the ride. If you have read this far then thank you...I rambled on a bit but what the hell I find that to be therapeutic...

Working out isn't easy when you have back issues. However, being in the water is a great way to get pain relief and to get some exercise in with out hurting myself even more. I live in a condo so the pool is shared by everyone in the neighborhood. Usually there aren't many people there which is great for me and my work outs but I still get some strange looks from the people who are there (including my husband). Now, I can't just dive on in and swim. I mean I can, but I will pay for it the next day. I also can't do a lot of bending and flipping or a lot of ab work. So, what I do is walk. I walk back and forth in the shallow part of the pool. Now, this can get very boring. Also, there is only so much people watching someone can do. It get's a little strange when you are caught looking at the same person for the fifth time because you can't believe she's wearing THAT, or looking at someone's boyfriend for the sixth time becasue you are really looking at the clock over his head but she can't figure that out. Trust me honey, no one wants your man....he's not even half as attractive as you seem to think he is and by judging by what I see in his shorts, he's not that great in bed either. Anyway.....maybe that was a little much....but I'm just telling it like it is. So, in order to keep my boredom down and to make sure I don't get myself in any trouble with the girl who shouldn't be wearing that bikini or have the guy's girlfriend jump in and drown me, I've begun walking back and forth while reading my book. Not only does it help me not look at the people around me, it allows me to walk back and forth and lose track of time. Yesterday I walked for an hour. AN HOUR of walking in the water!!! I was shocked. I didn't even notice I was getting my workout....and isn't that how it should be? Why can't every workout be this easy? I could have waked for another hour except I knew I would hate myself the next day. So, from now on, I plan to get my walk done in the pool, with my head down and my nose in a book. That way, I can still be alive after the workout and not have my neighbors hate me. I think it's a win win for everyone.

Hey guys, I am in a really good mood. I meet with my nutrionalist today and she said that with my insurance Horizon Blue Cross/Blue Shield she believes that my weight management diet is just 3 months*YIPPEE*. She says of course losing weight is great while on the program, but as long as I maintain and don't gain they will be happy with that. I am planning to lose some weight by following the eating habits that she gave me. Hell it is better to start now before the surgery and get used to it. So now that you guys know what is going on with me, tell me, what is your latest update and how have you been?

Day 151: Too Normal This morning I weighed in at 185.2lbs and then I walked into my closet and stared at the emptiness. My closet is EMPTY. I literally cannot wear anything I was wearing five months ago. Well, at least not unless I'm going for the baggy look. I'm so surprised that I've stuck with it. I'm still doing all my protein, getting in all my fluids, taking my vitamins, and exercise is just a part of my life now. But my name is Miss Fickle, I'm known to grow tired of doing the same thing within a matter of weeks or months. I'm just amazed. I've been able to change my habits. Seriously change them. I still worry about the day I let my guard down, but I can't imagine it right now. I do not crave popcorn when I go to theaters, I feel *sick* after just a few tastes of my friend's ice cream (a splurge for me) -- and I'm not sad about it. Real food has never tasted so good to me. And the *fake* foods just do nothing for me now. I have a few bites of pasta, and I'm not jazzed about it like I used to be. Funny thing, I love the smell of the pasta cooking. Some days, I just don't know how I got here. It seems like just yesterday I was waking up from my surgery. It was just last Christmas I was huffing and puffing on my brother's stairs. I have gotten out of the habit of journaling. Not happy about that, but it's been nice to have a break. I got to the point I had almost every meal memorized, so I just stopped. I'd like to get back into it, I know I will. But so long as I'm still losing, I'm not too worried about it. I keep to what I know, only deviating for a bite here and there of special things on rare occasions. It's nice to feel normal again. To not worry when a friend wants to go out, to not panic when I'm going to be gone all day and need to pack snacks. I look at my scars and wonder if it was just a dream? Now, I just need to sell some of these clothes that are taking up all the space in my guest closet before my mom comes to visit!!

Awesome, my surgery is August 23rd, can't get here fast enough. Hoping for a smooth recovery!!

glad to hear things went well!!

Protein seems to help me I too have that where I feel really hungry and could just go to town. Let me know what you end up doing cause I too can use the tips!

I find greek yougurt or baked chicken fill me up better than anything. When I drank the shakes I seemed to feel hungry all the time. when I work nights I feel hungry all night long even though Im really not. when I am at home I dont have this problem. I just try to drink more water or tea. hang in there.

What kinds of protein are you eating. If you are supposed to be on solids protein shakes are a bad idea because they slide right through the pouch and don't stick around to give you that full feeling. I personally eat chicken as my primary protein. A canned chicken won't keep you as full as baked chicken. Beef also takes longer to digest so will keep you full longer. This is bandster hell. My doctor does'nt really believe in snacks and says to white knuckle it. If you were to have a snack I would shoot for a something like an oz of chicken breast, low fat cheese stick or maybe low fat cottage cheese.

I just want you to know that I just had my surgery done so I have not heard anything from people that I don't know about losing weight but I have only told 3 people outside my mom and inlaws. Those 3 people would take my secret to their grave but I was talking to my mom the other day before my surgery and found out that she had told several people in my family. When I asked her why she had told people when I had made her promise not to tell anyone and her response was "I thought after you told you girls,(my college girls who came home for the summer) that it was ok to tell people." I called my husband so upset and he let me know that he received a call from his sister about coming down to our house this week but wanted to make sure it was ok since I was having surgery. So not only did my own mom tell people but my mother in law called my sister in laws and told them too. Now the secret I did not want anyone to know about except the people I told my entire family on both sides know. I have to say i was very hurt and Im still not over it but Im moving on now since it does not help me any staying mad at them. Hope you are working on forgiving too. Some people cant be trusted with secrets. Live and learn I guess.