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One week ago I turned a corner in my life. I am new - I feel differently about myself already. I feel like I used to before I gained all this weight = more confident, happy. Once I went back to work this week, I found I wanted to put more time into my appearance, I was so much happier at work, and was more productive, even though I was recoverying physically. I know this was the right decision, and I'm so excited to work with my band and get this weight off and LIVE! Woo hoo!!! Graduating to soft, moist, mushy this weekend, and I'm ready. Rosemary chicken in the crock pot and some soft cooked veggies sound so good. Have some domestic chores to do this weekend and am glad I'm up to doing a little yard work and housework! I love my band!

OK, my surgery is Monday the 18th! 3 days away! I'm excited and tired right now. I keep wanting to have a farewell to food party, but I'm much better off doing what I'm supposed to. Am I prepared? Yes and no. I am prepared to have the surgery and I have no second thoughts about whether having the surgery is a good idea. But my surgery date came so quick, I don't think I'm completely prepared for post surgery. One of my faults is I don't like to wing it. Fortunately, the program at UMMC provides an instruction manual. The manual includes a checklist of items that are helpful or necessary after the surgery. It's so hard to believe the date is really so close! All of the work getting to this point makes me smile now. I can't wait for Monday!

I finally had to bite the bullet and go shopping as my pants almost hit my ankles at work the other day! May I just mention thank god for goodwill? I have absolutely NO desire to spend $20 on jeans that wont fit in two weeks. Also Walmart has decent $5 plain t-shirts so while I am in no way fashionable, at least I don't look like a hobo anymore!! It's bad when even your boss starts giving you hints that maybe you should go buy some new clothes! All told I got 2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of shorts, a new bra, and 3 shirts for $53 bucks. Yeah I spent extra money on the bra, but I'm a firm believer that the ladies have to be slung high and comfy! *grin* I've been washing clothes and sorting them for the thriftstore over the past several days and my walk in closet is looking verrrrrrry anemic! I will say that I was scared to go shopping and was thankful that my BFF went with me. Isn't that hilarious? I have enough guts to move on my own to places where I know nobody, fight in martial arts against huge muscle-y guys, and have this surgery but shopping scared me?! After some thought I realized I just felt so overwhelmed at how much stuff I really need. Literally from the skin outward I not only had no clue what size I was anymore but what I should wear. Don't get me wrong, I have very decided opinions about fashion but being..err...plumptious for so many years I often just had to dress in clothes that I would not have chosen if there were other options. It was kinda funny because my BFF had made a comment that with my laid back style I should be able to find lots of clothes as I get smaller. I told her that she had never actually seen my preferred type of clothes because they didn't make them in my size and that I thought she would be very surprised. I don't think anybody really realizes how girly I would dress if I had a choice! I can't wait for that day when I can go into any store and realize that I can fit in their clothes. It's already happening as I'm down to a size 18 in pants! Still big, but thank god no longer a tight 24!! I'm also super excited that I lost a cup size and 4 inches around my ribcage. When we went shopping it was just supposed to be my BFF and I but her husand decided to tag along. It was kinda funny because when he asked me if it was okay I told him that yeah, it was fine but that he wasn't allowed to b***h and moan after 45 minutes when he got bored. That I had to get clothes and we would be going in and out a ton of stores and it might be a good idea for him to bring a book. Which he did and was very thankful for, although to give the man props he didn't complain over the entire 5 hour ordeal. It's hard to believe sometimes how much my life is changing, and I'm so thankful that I could just kiss my doctor!

Feeling much better today. I have been able to drink and eat with minimal cramps from my new sleeve. I'm getting up and down much better as well. I still have some pulling on the incisions when I get up but it is nothing like it was the past 2 days. The menu for the last 2 days included Jello, popcicles, broth, and of course water. My plan allowed me to add some new things today so I have added unsweetened apple sauce, light yogurt, and really think oatmeal. So far everything is settling ok although I am taking it really slow. Hoping tomorrow will be even better.

Hello everyone. My name is audrey. im 20 years old and overweight. obviously. i graduated high school in 2010 and from then on i felt like i needed to start my own life and find who i really am inside. Its a scary thought that i am on my own now and i actually have to start providing for myself. By doing this it means buying my own groceries on a telemarketers wage. Now, this is a good paying job, however, im very independant so i have my own house, a brand new car and a good paying job (i know, its rare for kids my age to have all of the above ). Now, since i have all those things it doesn't really leave much room for good healthy foods. My foods now consist of canned pastas, ramen noodles and take out. quick easy and simple. and of course i am a 20 year old so you have to figure in the partying and things like that. So now that i have described a little bit about me and my day to day life i will start talking about the journey to the lap band surgery. I grew up in a house hold that was full of abuse and depression. my mom was about 400 pounds. my dad was a sober abusive guy that had nothing else better to do with his time then to beat on us kids and beat the crap outta my mom. Us kids had rules that we had to follow and one of those rules was we COULD NOT leave the table until our plate was spotless. literally. Full or not. it HAD to be clean. some parents would eventually give in but not my dad. So, now that im grown, i still have those rules instilled in my brain and thinking process. I just cannot bring myself to leave the plate unfinished. as much as i try to waste the food i just cant do it. so i will fill myself till i am miserable till "i have a clean plate". When my mom finally got the courage to leave my dad, she met the love of her life (which is pretty much my real dad....he is the one that raised me when my dad wasn't around. and for that i thank him and love him very much.) My mom had the gastrice bypass surgery and lost over 200 pounds. Got down to 180 and still struggles with her weight but will never be that size ever again. So now that that my mom realizes how much i struggle with my weight she suggested this surgery. Ever since that day ive been hooked on having this surgery. I feel like i deserve this surgery because i never got that chance to be the skinny girl or have the nice clothes or anything like that. I want that so bad. Not to be the "thin girl" but to be the happy girl thats why i chose to title this Imma rock this...cause baby i am. Im going to do whatever necessary to make myself successful and to be happy and not let anything stand in my way of happiness anymore. sorry its kinda long but i guess that's what you get for a first blog

Ok I have been reading posts and blogs lately and it seems like right after getting banded a lot of people go through an emotional upheaval and wonder if they can do this or if they have done the right thing. I'm not banded yet so I can't begin to understand that...or wait...maybe I can't understand the banded part but I really can understand overwhelming decisions. Not the same but maybe this will help. I was a 2 pack a day smoker for 19 years or so. I smoked through both pregnancies (which still makes me cringe) and I didn't care until I realized that my oldest son was sick all the time. I was at the end of my pregnancy with the youngest, it was November and cold as crap, and I knew I was having a scheduled c-section. So I asked my parents what did they think about coming to my apt and getting all the ash trays and lighters out while I was in the hospital. My thought was if I was going to be in there not smoking for 5 days then what would be the point of keeping it up after I got out? I knew I wasn't going to haul my butt downstairs and out the door to stand in the cold and smoke after just having a c-section. So that's what I did. And then I came home to the reality of taking care of a 19 month old and newborn after just having surgery and all by myself. No help. It was nightmarish honestly. I had bad postpartum on top of the quitting smoking. There were times when I could have cheerfully strangled someone for a smoke. I cried a lot and asked what did I do to myself? My best friend said she couldn't do it because she just couldn't fathom not ever being able to smoke again for the rest of her life...and then the light came on... My Dad offered me a lot of really good advice that he has gotten from being in AA. He's been sober 14 years now. And he told me not to look at the big picture but only look at what I could handle today...can I say that I am not going to smoke for the next 5 minutes. I could do that and the picture looked a lot less overwhelming. Now I can say almost 4 years later that I am still a non smoker and I'm pretty sure that I won't have a smoke for at least the next few days. Can't garuntee longer than that because I can't predict the future. Where I am going with this long story is this is the same approach I am using now in my pre/pre op diet that my doctors want me to work on. I can say that in the next 5 minutes that I will not eat half a pan of brownies. But I'm not going to say that I will never eat them again because that is just too much for most of us to handle. So if you can say that you won't eat the bad, and keep eating the good in whatever increments of time that you are comfortable with, it just might make ever thing seem doable. The approach works obviously a lot of people have quit drinking with those tools. I am thinking that with the band it would be a bit easier because I won't be able to eat half a pan of brownies. Or a whole Big Mac. And later on down the road when me and food have come to a better understanding instead of a co-dependent relationship, then and only then, will I contemplate maybe having that brownie, but only a small one. Just like my philosophy with stopping smoking, I am not going through all of this for nothing. I want results and I am determined to get them.

Slowly but surely I am getting closer to a surgery date. Went to see the dietician for my pre-op diet and for some tips on my post-op diet. I am really getting closer to getting an actual date!!!! I can not wait! I met someone yesterday that had the same surgery I am having with the same surgeon and has lost 85lbs in three months!!! It was so amazing to see how much success she has had in such a short period of time. Really hoping I have half of the success she had!!!!

My name is Vanessa and I am turning 40 on December 14th. My first 40 years, it seems, I have spent trying to manage a healthy weight with a string of diets and will power. All of that has got me where? To my heaviest weight to date. My next 40 years, I want to spend traveling...reaching my goals......raising healthy children. All without my body being a hinderance. Earlier this year.....I couldn't ride a rollercoaster with my 11 yr old son. I couldn't fit in the seat. I was mortified for him...for me. That was my rock bottom. For a fat girl...I have alot of energy and am pretty athletic as I am on a softball team and a yoga student. My mind believes that my weight, in general, doesn't keep me from living life. In part that's true. But my heart and soul wonder, what could the healthy weight girl do? What could she accomplish? How much "better" could she be! I would be a rockstar....a super hero! I look forward to meeting her once I dig her out of years of weight gain and disappointment. I know she's there....I can hear her!

I can hardly believe that I had my surgery almost 29 hours ago now. I feel much better than I anticipated I would. My pain level immediatly after surgery was maybe a 6 and the nurse got it down to a 3 within minutes. Once I was back in the room the pain seemed to go down to a 2-3 and stayed there for a few hours then went down to a 1. As I sit here just 29 hours post OP I have to say my pain level is a ZERO!!! No regrets on the surgery so far. I have been drinking plenty of water (slowly) and have had Jello a couple of times, broth a couple of times, and popcicle. Can't wait to see the pounds drop.