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REMINDER: This is a comic view of weight loss. Everything in this post is true. If the bluntness of some parts bother you, then I'm sorry....but when we lose weight, things change. Some of those things don't seemed to be spoken about much....until now. Enjoy the open truthfulness of this blog and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. I misplace something everyday. I am the queen of not knowing where I put something, or putting something in a "safe place" only to forget where that "safe place is". But, over time, I've always been able to stumble across the things I've lost. I've found keys in the freezer, my purse in the kitchen cabinet, a cereal box in the bathroom, and I've even found my underwear (clean) in the fridge. I am the master of having something in my hand and then getting sidetracked and I end up trying to do too many things at once, causing the items in my hands to end up in places they were never meant to be. If something can me misplaced or lost, I am the person to make sure that happens. I still can't find the money I hid in the house for emergencies...despite the many "emergencies" that we've had. Maybe one day I'll stumble across it when I really need it but I've looked everywhere I can think of and NOTHING!!! Apparently I am much better at hiding something than I thought. The only thing that wasn't easy for me to lose was my weight. I would try everything I could think of. I've even offered to give it away for free to people who complained about not having enough boob or butt. However, that never seemed to work. Now, after the surgery, I am proud to say I've been loosing my weight faster than I can put my underwear in the fridge or my keys in the washing machine (been there and done that). The only problem is that with the weight loss, I've noticed that I'm losing something else as well.....my boobs. Now, I was nine years old when I started wearing a bra. I remember thinking how excited that I was that I wouldn't be flat chested like my sister. I used to fill up balloons with water and put them in my shirt and dream of the day when my boobs would be that big. Apparently, someone listened and my boobs did grow...and grow, and I loved ever second of it. Funny thing is, I never realized just how big they were until college. My mother would make me wear baggy shirts and I had to "hide" them most of my adolescent life. But at the time, I didn't realize that's what I/she was doing. So, once I got to college and figured out I could flaunt them with out looking too trashy...I did. I love my boobs. They were a perky 38DD for most of my life. I am not sure how I got so lucky with them staying up the way they did, but I wasn't going to complain. Then, I hit my thirties and gravity started to rear it's ugly head. They started to droop a little but I was still very proud of them. Also, because I had gained over 100lbs since college, they were even bigger than before. All was well in my world when it came to boobs. Then, two months ago I went through weight loss surgery. My husband told me I would lose them. I laughed. Even when I was thin (a size 9-10) I was still a DD. No matter how much I had lost in the past, I always kept my boobs. That is until now. In two months, I think most of my fat has come from my boobs. They have not only shrunk dramatically in size, I now have this excess skin that I can "fold over". I do this when I look in the mirror and imagine what they would look like if they were perky again. Even when I touch them and cup them in my hands they feel different. They used to overflow but now they almost fit in my hand. They have also decided that instead of pointing out, they like to look towards the floor. I never thought nipples could point that low but apparently mine can and they have decided they like what they see. I try to think that they are looking to see if they can seem my feet yet. They are getting closer, but not just yet. It's funny, I never thought I would be sad to see fat go. But the fat in my boobs, well we have bonded over the years. We've become friends. We've gone through ups and downs together...mostly ups. They were still nice to me even when I would keep them locked in a small "room" all day that was too small it left marks on them. They took my abuse and still loved me. But now, they found their out. They seem to keep leaving a little bit at a time. Now, they have a room that is getting way to big for them. They never have any marks on them, and they can move around in the room as much as they want. But apparently that's not good enough for them. I even tried to put them in nicer more expensive rooms to no avail. They have just given up and left. The part that had stayed seems just as depressed as I am about the other part leaving. I mean why else would my nibbles point down the way they do? Oh well, it looks like I am going to have to get used to it for now. I still have about 100lbs to lose so I am sure I will lose even more boob over that time. I have a feeling that when all is said and done, my boobs will turn into ski slopes and the nipples will be the launch area for the jump. But, what my boobs don't know is that one day they will find their way back up. They will look straight ahead and be proud of who they are once this is all done and the surgeon does a lift and fill on them. Then, they won't have any reason to look down but I will have all the reason in the world to look down and admire them again. Plus, my husband is looking forward to it when they look like they used to. He is not afraid to tell me how excited he will be when they get "pumped" back up. Sometimes I think he married my my boobs instead of me, but then he says things like this, "Honestly honey, I love you no matter what they look like. Your boobs don't listen to me or love me.....they just give me a place to lay my head at night." ummmm...thanks honey...they love you too. LOL UPDATE: I wasn't able to post this blog after I wrote it due to the site being down. So, I decided to do other things around the house...one was to shower. I noticed something crazy...my boobs are bigger. I think they knew I missed them and asked the fat in my legs or stomach to ride up the internal elevator and join the party at club BOOBS.....but the sad thing is I know it's only because I am going to start. my period in a few days. Oh well, at least I can enjoy them until that's over....maybe my husband can enjoy them before it starts. He better be careful, I may attack him when he walks in the door this evening.....hummmm we'll see. Maybe I will let him attack me today....All I'll have to do is show him how much bigger they are today and that may do the trick. Hope so. LOL

For years and years I've been obese, since I was eight years old. I tried everything, from the sensible to the slightly insane to try to lose weight. After a year of diligent calorie counting and exercise failed to shift any weight, I spoke with my husband about possibly pursuing bariatric surgery. Pretty quickly, I started to gravitate toward a gastric sleeve, and did a ton of research. I put off making that appointment for a consultation for months. Now I wish I hadn't! Because, now I'm 5 days post-op and feeling incredible, and shrinking before my very eyes! I had a very easy surgery and my recovery was fast--practically outpatient. I was out of the hospital the next afternoon. Three days after surgery I could go shopping for a little while, five days after, I could resume my walking routine (although I may have been pushing it a little). I've had no trouble at all keeping to my full liquid diet, and have been doing really well so far! As of yesterday, I lost 12 pounds since my surgery date. By now, it is probably even more! I can actually feel and see the changes, they're happening so fast. This is so encouraging to me, that I can't imagine having any problem sticking to my diet. I haven't had any "head hunger" which is great--it's something a lot of people struggle with post-op, so I guess I'm just lucky that there wasn't a big psychological component to my obesity that I didn't know about. The only challenge I've come up against so far is drinking enough water. I don't feel thirsty, and my mouth isn't dry, but they say I should be getting about 60 oz a day. There's no way I'm getting that, unless you include the other liquids I "drink" like shakes, soups, etc. The nutritionist said I shouldn't count those, but it seems pretty unattainable if I don't! My stomach is only 2oz big, I would have to fill and empty my stomach 30 times a day with water alone to get 60oz of pure water. Blah. I can't complain--I'm feeling astonishingly well, and am losing weight! It's like a dream!

Well here I am, almost 1 year post and something unexpected occured. I have noticed over the last month that I have been extremely hungry and feel like I could eat the entire kitchen (although I could only get a cabinet)! Something didn't seem right. I thought I was due for a fill (last fill was 7 months ago). I wasn't gaining weight, in fact I was still losing, but only like .5-1lb a month. Not very exciting. So I went to my doctor yesterday and after numerous giant needle pokes and failed attempts at a fill, the doctor says "lets not panic just yet!" Really? How can you say that to someone when there is a needle sticking out of their stomach and you can't pull out ANY, not one drop of fluid from my band that I saw you put in 8.5cc's back in November! A second doctor walks in and tries it as well without success. So, I see the doctor again tomorrow to attempt it again and then go for a plan of action. Could be a leak, a broken port, broken tube and the band may have slipped since all the fluid is potentially missing. I had an upper GI done back in February to ensure everything was still in place (due to low blood pressure - everything checked out). Everything was perfect! Now this! I really don't want to put my body through another surgery. Lord knows I have had a lot in my 32 years. So what do I do if they want to just "replace the port" if its a faulty port? Part of me just wants to opt out altogether and say take it out. Go for the sleeve? My family was against me doing this anyway. However, I have had success with the band. I've had some hiccups here and there, but nothing that I couldn't pull through. I have been reading these blogs about the misery people have had with the testing they do to dertermine this. Sometimes takes months. I am just so lost. I know this is not something I have done. However, if the band has slipped due to losing all of the fluid, it will have to be repositioned which equals another surgery. So not looking forward to this! Love my band, saddened by this unexpected news! Cheers~

Oh WOW am I ever glad this morning is over! For all that led me here, and for my team of doctors, and my amazing surgeion and most of all, for my husband and friends, I am EVER grateful! Surgery was completely uneventful, I was home by 12:30 and have managed the pain very well all day. In fact, I've had viruses that made me feel worse than I've felt all afternoon! It's awesome, I really expected the pain and discomfort to be worse. No problems with gas yet, but I have been up and around quite a bit. Pain meds make me super sleepy, so that's the only time I've really been down is to sleep a few hours here and there. I'm FINALLY on the recovery side, and I am so excited!!! Today's the last clear liquid day and tomorrow I get full liquids. I've never looked so forward to tomato soup in my whole life, but it sounds delicious right now. Great things are in store for me - thanks to everyone for your support here. I'm going to have a million questions, so be ready!

I have waited over 14 months for my sleeve day to get here. I've been through a lot of emotions over this time period as well. Approaching the mandatory counseling with a lackadaisical attitude -- not even sure if surgery was right for me. Even got to the point of quitting and then realized that if I ever wanted to consider the surgery down the road, I would have to go through this all over again. I discovered the sleeve (was looking into g-bypass) and that peaked my interest. TI became a sponge and tried to read everything about the VSG. Got super nervous that the insurance company wouldn't approve me but they did. Then changing doctors because I didn't like the first one. Once I got my approval at the beginning of May, I was able to select my own date since I knew I couldn't have the surgery until June due to work logistics. Then waiting for June 14 to get her and now I'm almost there!!! My hat goes off to all of the forum members who had to do more than one day of a pre-op diet. I only had to do it today and I'm freakin' starving!! I've just been keeping my mind busy -- tying up loose ends at work. I went through the panic stage over the last month, thinking to myself, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??" I just kept the reasons I'm doing this, in the forefront so as not to lose site of the reason I started this journey. My BFF and my daughter also kept refreshing my memory as to why I'm doing this. I am 55 years old and I truly wish this was an option through my insurance 10 years ago but, hey! whaddya gonna do? LOL Tomorrow at 9am I will begin the first day of the rest of my life and join all of you kind people on the infamous losers bench!

Someone told me that I should keep track of my experiences, thoughts, success, etc. So here I am, writing about my life and kinda nervous about it. Who am I? I'm 36 years old, team lead of accounts payable for a large private company. I'm someone that you would view as successful and confident. but i'm not confident at all! I'm 334 lbs as of today at my doctor's. I've been overweight my entire life. Growing up you'd have viewed me as the pudgy kid that everyone liked. but somewhere around 4th grade that all changed. Whether it was the sudden need for glasses (and the subsequent non-stop teasing)....or the freaky way I found out my dad did drugs....I started to put on pounds quickly and never stopped. I became a loner, only associating with others that would be considered loners. Only one person stayed with me during all this, my best friend from 1st grade (and btw, we're still friends today). in junior high it got worse, i packed on the pounds faster. My uncle tried to rape me and I was trying to hide my body from all men in order for them to NOT want me. By College I was around 280lbs and a size 26. Four years later I was a size 30. Today i'm a size 34. I'm not confident at all! I hate the way my body looks....truth be told I hate everything about me (personally). I've struggled with depression all my life and it affects the way I view myself inside. I have tried to lose weight every way possible. I've tried liquid diets, i've tried atkins, i've tried weight watchers, i've tried counting calories, you name it i've tried it. The most I ever lost was 20lbs and it came right back (and then some). Truth be told, I never truely wanted it more than I want it right now. But it's too late to do it on my own now. I need help! and the Sleeve is the tool I have chosen for myself. I did a lot of research and put a lot of thought into it. But I could never do this alone! Luckily I have a wonderful man in my life and he fully supports whatever decision I make. And since he lives with me he will be there to help me stay on track, etc. You may be asking yourself (or maybe not) what made me finally decide to lose the weight once and for all. On March 7, 2008 my baby sister (at 20) died in a violent car accident. She was the sunshine of the family, the glue that kept us all together. Losing her almost killed me. I wound up in the hospital and discovered I was bipolar and finally got the help I needed. She was always the pudgy one in school but was popular. The last year of her life she was losing weight, joined the track team, was doing really well in school. She talked to me over and over about needing to get a grip on things and lose the weight. A week before her death mom and I got to see her in a track meet. she was awesome! (in our eyes....about average over all) the last thing I ever said to her was that I loved her and was proud of her, and with a hug we parted ways forever. When I finally got myself together I remember her gentle proding to start losing the weight. And i've tried to do just that ever since. I can just imagine her in the background, cheering me on, praising each little victory with me. You see by the time I got a grip I was up to 382lbs....now i'm 334! big difference right? I'm finally learning how I need to eat and how much i'm supposed to eat. and this surgery will just help me get that much further. to do this surgery you have to have people behind you that will support you through the entire process. It doesn't have to be a lot of people, just ones that will sincerely be there along the way. for me that's my boyfriend, my best friend, and a handful of co-workers. Unfortunately that is NOT my family. It hurts me to think that they won't support me in this. because of their reaction I've stopped telling anyone else. my department at work has over 30 people in it. only 8 know. my parents know. Dad initially tried to change my mind the day that I hinted at it to them. he hasn't said a word since, just ignored it like it wasn't happening. Mom is actively trying to get me to NOT do this. My other sibling doesn't like it, but will support my decision....besides she's 3 hours away anyway. Mom is the one that told one of my aunts (who hasn't said a word) and my grandmother. After doing some research of her own my mother told my grandmother what she discovered about the risks and complications of the procedure. my grandmother called me balling her eyes out and BEGGING me NOT to do this. It was the hardest thing i've ever done to stick to my decision and talk through her fears. don't think it helped much though. since then my family just ignores it like it's the elephant in the room. If I had a word of advice to anyone that's still thinking about doing the sleeve it would be to think Long and Hard about your decision. do the research, ask lots of questions, use this site (it's awesome!?!). but most of all....make sure you have some strong support. there will be people out there (like my family) that will actively try to change your mind....or come against you for doing (or have done) this. If you're not absolutely sure about your decision you will be in turmoil. I'm telling you right now, if I didn't have my boyfriends support I would not be doing this. he is my strength. he helps me remember to let things go, think positively, etc etc. the exact opposite of me...lol. he's the love of my life and i'm awed to have such a great man in my life. okay, guess i've talked long enough. I'm going to sign off. till next time. *Hugs*

it seems to be the question evey ones asking if i only knew how hard it would be would i do it all over again ?The answer is yes i would I have been strugling with my weight watching it creap up and i felt out of control i did not know what to do. The band is control even with the complations i had i stil do it all over again. Knowintg how much my life would have to change i still do it all over again, Life is about living it hard to live when you spend so much time on the side lines becuse you just can't. I stil need to work out some things like slowing down when i eat or drink I put an egg timmer on for 20 mins thats how long it should take me to eat, I still need to work out copeing ways as now the eating thing that i cused to cope is not going to work. But Yes I would do it all over again even knowing all i know now I do not regreat my getting banded I am very thankful to Dr Jones for doing my band and being my chearleader when i coulld not. I lost about 27 lbs almost 30 in the 5 weeks i have had my band, I work at it evey day thats how i succced I write evey thing down all the info in a speical joual and it makes me set a goal for the next day so i know just what i did an i can be honset with my self. This was not a quick fix it very hard and i would do it all over again