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Feels so good to be me today. I get more compliments and meet more men than ever. Cant image how it's going to be when I loose my last 30 pounds. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK EVERYONE, EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE BUT AS I ALWAYS SAY; "ALL FOR ME"

Yup, the 26 wild 7 years olds are probalby much closer to his office than a vacation spot in Florida in the event of an emergency.

Now, for the record, I am not by any means thin...YET. However, I have to admit that today at the pool, I felt really good about myself. From my highest weight, I have lost close to eighty five pounds. Since my surgery, seven weeks ago, I have lost a total of fifty five pounds. It amazes me how losing that weight has affected me. Last year I would go to the pool and try to get a chair as far away from people as possible. I would also make sure the chair was in close proximity to the steps of the pool so that I could just dart in without having too many people see me. I know people don't like to look at overweight people so I didn't want to cause their eyes to have to hurt any more than they would have to. I figured that the faster I got in, the faster I could "hide" in the water. I would have never EVER thought about sitting on the edge of the pool and chatting with a friend or walking to the far steps to get in becasue someone was hanging out at the ones near my chair. I would have waited until the people moved and then darted in to the pool. I broke all my rules today. First, I proudly strutted my stuff down the length of the pool to go in the steps that were not being occupied. Then, I sat on the edge of the pool, legs in, and didn't once think about how fat I looked and how I shouldn't be sitting there. I also didn't dart in, and attempt to hide in the water. I took my time getting in the chilly water and enjoyed myself. When I was done, I again proudly strutted my stuff back to my chair, laid down and soaked up the sun. At one point I even looked at my ever shrinking legs and thought, "Damn girl, looking good!" I have to admit, I like this new feeling. I can't remember ever feeling this good about myself. Even when I was a size 10 I was self conscience. I am sure the more I lose, the more my body image will change for the better. and I can't wait for that to happen, but for now, I am going to enjoy my time this summer at the pool or beach and continue to strut my stuff every chance I get and I hope you all do the same. Strut that stuff and be proud...sleeve or no sleeve, we are all beautiful!!!

ok so i made my goal of a size 12 in my one year since i was banded. and it seems like i lost my drive. ugh...last week was the first time in over a year that i only worked out 2 times versus 4 and i was just being soooo lazy. i cant loose my focus and start gaining weight back. ok so today i went to the gym and got back on track..i admit it was a little bit of a struggle, but i stuck with it. i'm praying that that lazyness was a one time fluke. anyway i finally uploaded my after pics..yeah me!!! well although i havent hit onederland yet!!!!!! i'm still shooting for my new goal of a size 10 by my bday in august. i gave myself plenty of time becuz really anything after this size 12 is icing on the cake. OK SO I'M BACK FOCUSED!! full steam ahead. oh i scheduled a small fill for june 23rd cuz that's my next off day when my doc is in the office. sometimes i think i need a fill and others i dont. so for right now i will keep the appoinment, but cancel it if need be. jennifer

That's simply amazing! I can't wait to be where you are! I could have written that first part about myself! EXACTLY my habits! Congrats on the weight loss! so neat!

My best friend is super excited for me now that my surgery date is getting near. She's been with me through the I think I want it.. no wait I don't.. no wait I do's.. I've been through over the last 2 years we've been friends. When I finally decided to do this, she was shocked but super supportive. She began looking into it herself but due to insurance, it's not the right time for her. Last night we were talking and we came up with the idea to do a banded vs. unbanded challenge. She's going to eat the same foods and amounts as me or try to, and we're going to document the differences between the two. I think this will be interesting for the two of us, and for everyone considering the banding. We started today and will do this process for 1 year. Today is a ease into day. I don't technically start my pre-op diet til Monday, but I decided to get used to it by easing my way into. So for example today I had 2 protein shakes, but I also had cucumbers and crackers w/ ranch. The cucumbers not so bad, the crackers and ranch.. .well I think you already know lol. I also had soda which oddly enough I rarely drink, but because I "know" I'm not going to be able to, I suddenly just HAD to have it. lol Other than that it's been a normal day, the 2nd shake was MUCH better. Everything tastes better out of a wine or martini glass lol (that's really funny considering I don't drink lol) But I made a protein shake with a lil' yogurt, skim milk, ice and strawberries and it was almost on the verge of delicious. After the first one though it was like heaven to my mouth lol. In other news.. some people said my previous post was almost "pornographic" but obviously they don't understand that that's the point, I wanted to show how UNHEALTHY my relationship with food is/was. This is what I do... if my writing makes you think, laugh or hiss it's all intentional. Chances are that's the EXACT reaction I was going for. I know my writing style and personality isn't for everyone.. and that's why they invents the X at the top of the screen lol :biggrin: Just kidding, I have :wink2: for everyone!

Less than 4 hours til I go in... I'm still up, not tired, not anxious, not scared, just have lots to do before I go in since I know I'll be down most of tomorrow and Sat. Finishing up cleaning and doing some laundry. More I do now, less I'll have to do after. I should have cleaned my room this week but I didn't was busy with other things.. If I have time I'll get to it before I go.. Well whatever I can do for the next 2 hours.. I gotta shower at 5 or 5:30, then prayer conference call from 6-7.. by the time I'm off the call I'll be at the surgery center. So umm yeah. I keep feeling like there's something I'm forgetting, but there's not. CPAP machine that I've never used (Check in box still) Medicines (Check) Loose fitting clothes (check) Lipgloss (Check) I should have got a pedicure.. I need a pedicure, I've been putting it off.. UGH.. I could do the paint over, but that's just tacky...sigh Ok Kitchen clean, office clean, living room working on it, guest bathroom done, just my room, bathroom and the rest of the living room to finish. WOO HOO.. Then shower and be ready to go. I wonder why I didn't get any "pre-surgery" don'ts as far as like lotion, etc... I have coconut oil in my hair...it's not going anywhere... I've already used a gas x-strip... I think my body doesn't know what to do with itself, gas in my chest, I guess from that "Whey Up" energy drink... If you haven't tried them you should 20gms of protein low sugar no carb. If you can drink a 5 hour energy drink, you can drink this, tastes about the same to me. Let's see whatelse... I guess that's all for now.. going in.. see you on the other side. I'll be praying and confessing over myself until it happens. I confess that all goes well, that I come out of surgery without incident. That I experience rapid recovery and healing with no sickness and great success, in Jesus name... Ok let me go be productive. I'm sure I'll be back later to fill you all in or document it for myself here in my blog.

This is YOUR decision, not anyone elses. When I decided I had one friend who said....Well just pretend to have the band and eat like you have it. Now we all know that does not work or else I would not have been 110 pounds overweight! This is a decision for you and you alone. Pray over it, what is your true desire? Are you ready for the changes this will make in your life? Are you willing to make the mental changes it will take to live with the band? Nobody can answer those questions but you! I do think you will be pushing it if you try to work that weekend. It took me a week to not sleep most of the day. Don't put yourself at risk of slippage or hurting yourself because you are trying to hide the surgery. It's not worth it and can cause many other issues. So please, please think about that seriously. I too was overweight all my life. I was the overweight kid always getting picked on. Most of the time people would guess my weight wrong as well. So I know how that feels. I was 280 when I started this journey and currently I am 182 with only about 10-15lbs to goal. I do not regret my decision but I also was very ready in the head for it. I suggest you go into your prayer closet and meditate and talk to God. This is not an easy decision to make but regardless of what you decide you will have to be "ok" with the results. I wish you much love and many blessings and I am going to say a prayer for you today as well.