Leaderboard

This morning I weighed 240.I know it might bounce back a little and I am prepared for that. I am just so happy that the scale is moving again. xxo

Sorry I haven't been around a lot, but I'm battling evil computer gremlins right now. Do not fear though, as I shall be triumphant. As for the rest of my life, things are going better. I'm stalled again, but it's giving me time to get my act together at work. Also I'm trying to be careful and not think that I've only lost 42 pounds in 5 weeks because I lost 42 lbs in 5 weeks! Yes, I am breaking out the Hammer moves! I'm finally back to full 8 hour shifts (thank god) and my naps are getting shorter and shorter. I am getting somewhat tired of my family always trying to figure out how I feel about everything, though. They seem to expect me to be stressed or having all sorts of problems and don't believe me when I say that I'm fine. My dad had this surgery and went through crazy emotions after he started to lose weight and it's like they expect me to be going through the same thing. It's kinda frustrating, honestly. I about lost it when they kept saying how "they knew that I had to be going through a lot, because they had been there with my dad, and I just didn't realize that I was going through it.". If I wasn't pissed before THAT little bit of patronizing family trivia then I definitely wanted to make short, pithy statements that would have made a sailor blush! They keep telling me I was withdrawn and not telling them everything and I kept telling them that I was in agonizing pain for 4 weeks after surgery (I had major suture complications so it felt like my side was being ripped apart every time I breathed) and wasn't chatty because I was in pain. *rolls eyes*. Nothing is more annoying than having people tell you how you should be feeling and then patting you on the head when you say that no, you don't feel like that at all. Hence why I wasn't calling them and thus started the vicious cycle. I've never been very communicative when not feeling well and I would think that after 29 years they would know that. Alas life is pretty good, though. My ego and self-confidence is increasing and I'm even thinking about hitting on the cute guy at work. This weekend I'm going shopping with my BFF because out of all my clothes I have about 3 things that fit. Also, I've never been happier that I need a new, smaller bra! Oh the inhumanity!! *grin*

When you wake up feeling cruddy or you pass by something you really want to eat. Just remember.. somedays you have to take a minute at a time and sometimes you can do an hour at a time and think to yourself... this too shall pass. That pizza I really want is not worth me eating and being fat again. That sandwich or steak looks so good ...but I don't want to bust open my sleeve. Always think.... I chose this surgery because I wanted a healthier better me. I gave up those things to find the me that I have always wanted to be. Spread the Fabulosity and Love! We all can do it! There is no reason to turn back. We have made the decision to be skinnier, healthier, sexier.....because WE DESERVE IT! No kind of Food will make me ever GO BACK to being FAT. I want to be FABULOUS!!!

Howdy all! Today is the day! I figured I would pull down the scale that I diligently hid away, that "one" I bought esp for me, cause not every scale can weigh a nearly 500 pound frame, it's been a keen reminder of my failures over the past few years along with my steadily increasing girth. still I kept it, hoping... you all know that "hope" that one day it will be kind to you and actually begin to go in the down direction instead of up. So, anywho although my goals to lose are happening steadily I've always gone in to get my weight done on the same scale everytime at the clinic, but I finally made peace with my own scale and decided to trust her, as I have since named her "HOPE" and welcomed her into the family and off the shelve haha! So many times I have been defeated in this battle, losing weight only to gain it back with more to boot. but this time having tools in my bag I feel strong enough to face those numbers on the regular and own them. coming to a place of acceptance for each pound and realizing that they will not define me or my future, my past defeats will not define the outcome of this journey and I have, with the hand of the Lord above - "got this." This time, I have no one to please or succeed for except myself, and when I stepped on that Ole girl "Hope" this morning and she sounded out 398!! (talking scale seemed cool at the time ) the feeling was wondrous! To BREAK that 400 mark was / is a sweet savour to my heart and proves to me that trusting in the Father above all good things do come and Everything He promised is being added unto me in His due timing. Have HOPE everyone, you too can reach goals and triumph !! Good luck to each of you and happy losing - Jenny

As always, this is a comic view of weight loss. Please enjoy the read and understand that it's here to make you laugh....and let me vent. First, I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. There is nothing better than getting together with family and friends and enjoying the unofficial start of summer with the people you care about. That is exactly what I did. And, to make it even more special we celebrated my oldest niece graduating from High School. As we always do on Memorial day, we had a BBQ. The menu consisted of grilled Hotdogs, Hamburgers, corn on the cob, mac and cheese, bake beans and due to the celebration, cake and ice-cream. All yummy food and great conversation to go along with it. Now, I remember eating a hamburger, a huge helping of mac and cheese, and two or three ears of corn. Sometimes I would even have a hot dog to top it off. Then about an hour latter, I would finish it with some type of desert. I was the garbage disposal of the family dinner. Nothing needed to go to waste as I would make sure it found a home in my tummy. I remember eating until I couldn't move. It was enjoyable. The food was so good and I loved sitting around with my family talking about old times and recent going-ons. So it was interesting for me to look at my plate this time around. I had a half of the smallest burger not the biggest one on the plate like last year. I broke an ear of corn and ate it with a little butter. I didn't eat three ears with tons of butter and still want some more because it was sooooo good. No, this time, I couldn't even finish the part of the ear I got. I put a spoon full of mac and cheese on my plate and ate one noodle of it. I looked at the food left on my plate and though I felt good about myself, I felt horrible that I took more than I could eat. This is something I need to work on. I shouldn't feel bad that I didn't inhale every last morsel on my plate. It doesn't make me a horrible person. No matter what I was told as a child, it's ok to not finish everything. It's because I finished everything that I am in the situation I am in now. So, I now make a vow. I will no longer feel bad for leaving food on a plate. In fact, I will take that as a win for me in my new and improved healthy life. Then the biggest temptation happened. It was cake and ice cream time. I decided to have a very little bit. I was one of the last people to get my plate unlike years before where I would be the first in line and hope for a corner piece so I could have all that icing. Nope, this time I cut a VERY tiny piece of cake and I took not even a tablespoon on ice cream to go with it. Then a funny thing happened. I took my first tiny bite. It was good. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be considering it was the first really surgery thing I've had since two weeks before my surgery (so 8-9 weeks ago). I took a second tiny bite. I looked around at the people who had heaping bowls of cake and ice cream and didn't feel left out. I didn't want any more than what I had. In fact, I didn't even finish it. If you would have told me a year ago that I would not finish my cake, I would have told you that you were crazy. Oh how wrong I would have been. In fact, I am in such a different place now that I can honestly see where my problems with food were and what I did that caused me to get so overweight. Well, no more. I refuse to go back. I enjoy my trip down on the scale. I look in the mirror and I see the person I remember. At my heaviest, I would look in the mirror and not recognize myself. I never want to feel that way ago. So, from now on, Let Them Eat Cake. They can eat it up and enjoy it. I think I'll just sit back and watch and think about how the scale will thank me for not joining the crowd. Now, if it was carrot cake, I can't say I will be so strong. But, that's another blog post....and I am sure I will be tempted with it sometime soon. I can't wait to see what happens.