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A lot of people ask me " How does it feel to have lost all that weight?" and I never can find the words to express the joy I have. It's actually taken some time for me to be comfortable with my weight loss. Contrary to popular belief, losing the weight isn't the hardest part. Accepting the "new you" and every ones reaction to the "new you" is the tricky part. It amazes me sometimes how superficial the world really can be. You would think that weighing in at over 350 lbs would make you stand out but the truth is; it was as if I was invisible. No one really pays any attention to a person of that size, not positive attention anyway. There are things as a larger person that I never really gave much thought to that I absolutely have to now. For example, I never thought about being raped or attacked at my highest weight. The reality is that it is a much bigger challenge to prey on someone that big ( Not saying it doesn't happen, just not as often). I never gave fashion much thought either. Lets be honest, if it wasn't a Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart, Torrid or Catherine's around then I would have been wearing bed sheets or curtains. At one point it was just a matter of "Is it going to fit?" versus " Does it look good on me?". Saying the word "NO" was also a huge challenge for me. I was a self proclaimed "People Pleaser". I figured by saying "yes" to everything and everyone, it would help them overlook my obvious weight problem. I also hid behind my sense of humor. People like funny people no matter what they look like. And me making fun of myself hurt less then someone else doing it. The world seems much friendlier then it used to now. I get smiles and greeted everywhere I go. It's like men came out of nowhere. Its like I got a face lift and record deal all at the same time! I don't think one can ever get used to the attention given after such a physical transformation. I had to learn how to live a new life. I had to establish a "New Normal", life's new routine. It' s the little things that we take for granted that make such a big change in our lives. Walking up a flight of stairs without passing out, being able to fit at any booth at a restaurant, breathing/sleeping normally or just being able to wear denim jeans again made all the difference. With limited mobility, something as small as going to the mailbox was a task. Losing the weight opened up a whole new window of opportunity. I started dreaming again. I started setting goals for myself that actually seem attainable now. I was so used to my hum drum existence that I never really considered my future. Waking up with excitement for what the day will bring, grateful to just be alive and ready to take on anything instead of never wanting to leave the house, wanting to end it all and bracing myself for the worse. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself "Is this really my life?". Adjusting to my life's new routine is a day to day effort. Its like losing someone close to you. The absence of their presence leaves you lost and unclear about the future. It's like time stops and your stuck, not knowing what to do, what to think or how to live. Parting ways with my former self also left me with those same feelings. It too was like a death. That other person is gone and I'm now left with a "New me". I can no longer hide behind the weight or use it as an excuse. I have to be brave now. Walk in a confidence that I never had before. People see me now. Some even look up to me and are inspired by my story. It truly blows my mind how life can take such a turn for the better. Embracing my life's new routine has been both a rewarding and challenging experience. Today, I want you to think about your life and all the changes that have come. Are you ready to find your "New Normal"? The funny thing about life is that NOTHING ever stays the same. You can decide to remain stuck or roll with the punches.

Well, Down another size. I am disgusted with myself because I quit exercising....if I had continued I'd be at goal or below. I still struggle with old habits. I need to find my motivation again. I still am in a better place than I was 8 months ago. Size 22/24 to size 16. Two more sizes to go. I guess what I'm trying to say is it isn't easy. Let's face it, if losing weight was easy, none of us would be on this site So, for any of you feeling the same let's hike up our big girl panties and get this done. We can do this...I can do this!!! Nikki

So yesterday marks 24 weeks out or 5 months post op.. I am 13.6 lbs from goal and feeling good.. so here are my stats 5'7" HW:265 DoS:238.1 CW: 163.6 Goal:150 These past few months have been the best that i could have ever imagined.. My weight is under control, my boyfriend and I are engaged, and I feel like a brand new me. The funny part is im not even worried about these last few lbs because to be honest im not sure where they are gonna come from, but hey.. hopefully not my boobs or my ass..lol. I have been lucky so far to not really lose my boobs.. my butt got a little deflated, but hey a little squats will perk it right back up.. I do have to admit i have been slackin hard core on the working out, but thats because im sooo tired from driving every week to see my fiancee. Unfortunately he doesn't live close so we have to drive back n forth to see each other.. not fun but hey its a sacrafice im willing to make to be with him and vice versa for him. I am hoping to be at goal by the end of next month, but if not no biggie.. just wanted to set a little goal for myself and see if i can achieve it, but in order to do that i need to get back to hitting the gym and running like i used to.. So here is my pledge.. i will run at least 3 days a week. and i will hit the gym at least 2 days a week.. i need to build muscle! I leave you with pictures and my thanks for all your support in my journey to a new and improved me. I hope that I have been a slight insperation to some of you as you have been one to me. here are some recent pictures of my journey..

*hug* I hope you feel better soon. It really will get better pretty quickly. Make sure you are sipping water or warm tea constantly. I'm sorry you had a crabby nurse - of ALL people, nurses should be kind and compassionate :-(

All I can say is that I am right there with you. I have given up on my band, however it still causes me problems. All the doctor in my area have moved to bigger cities for bigger paychecks, so my band is empty and still causes me problems. I do go to the gym and walk on the treadmills. I have been very happy to be able to eat more salads and vegetables than before they opened my band again. I wish I could give you more answers than I have been able to get, just know that it is not just you and there are others out here in the same boat.

I know it can be very frustrating when the scale goes up and not down. Keep in mind you had surgery less than two weeks ago! Your body will be doing some strange things just because of that alone. You have some major accomplishments already, the others will come in time.

I start getting a sort of tight feeling in my chest...and the thought is, "am I getting full?" so when I am having that feeling, it is probably time to stop....I often get the hiccups at fullness too, but I have at times taken one bite too many and had to walk it off.

Don't ever feel selfish, the good Lord knows what you need before you speak it and will be with you every step of the way. You will be in my prayer's. I understand your nervousness and can only imagine how I will be when I am in your shoes. I was a wreck the morning of my endoscopy and thought to myself how the heck am I going to be the morning of my surgery?! I needed to shake myself out of it and gain control. (as much as I could anyhow) You're going to do great and I look forward to hearing an update from you! This time tomorrow you'll be on the loser's bench!

U know that untill u start getting fills its unlikely that u will start to lose weight quickly and to be honest this is why this period is called bandster hell, i was told a lot of people even can put on a small amount of weight during this time so u are doing great.. initially we heavier ones tend to lose a lot of weight then even tho we are eating much less we sort of stabalise for a while but it will start shifting again once u start getting the fills u need and just keep burning more calories than u are eating ... we are here for support if u need us Jim