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What an awesome couple of days I have had! First< i cut about 5 inches off of my hair and got some nice light blonde highlights. I think it has really changed my face and has given me a boost. Second, I am down another few pounds to make 27lbs lost! And my biggest achievement is that I finally went to Old Navy for some new jeans. I went in and grabbed the biggest size they carry, a 20. In Lane Bryant I had been a 22/24 so I was a little nervous about the 20's but I tried them on anyway. They Fit!! Plus I got some really cute tops to make some nice new summer outfits. Well I get home and put the pants on and notice they are a little loose! I can pull them off without unbuttoning them. Holy Cow. The thought never entered my head to try on an 18 but that is what I need now. Such a different mind set this is. I used to be so happy when something fit I never would have thought about going smaller. Another added bonus is that Lane Bryant can be pricey and all of my stuff from Old Navy was wayyyyy cheaper! So, new hair and new smaller clothes to go with the new me. Yeah, I could get used to this.

I woke up today not feeling hungry, which is unusual for me. I tend to eat late at night, so I'm usually hungry in the morning, my own little vicious cycle. But cutting down on the food has really paid off. I was hungry often today, but each time, except meals, I had a piece of fruit and I was ok. I wish I knew that I could keep this up for months on end. This is just like so many good starts in the past. I find myself thinking...maybe I don't need the surgery...look at how well I'm doing...maybe I can do this on my own. What I'm forgetting is the roadblock that I will inevitably run into...the 14- hour shift at work, the fight with my hubby, the ten page paper I need to get done in a few hours so I cam sleep. These things WILL happen, and when they do I know the binge will be calling. I found myself feeling weird earlier today. I have so many unhealthy ties to food, and the thought of not being able to turn to a binge when I am stressed is both a relief and frightening. I have had surgeries before, I had my gallbladder out, a pin put in my foot, I have taken radioactive iodine to kill off my functioning (overactive, yes, but functioning) thyroid. But none of these things made me feel that I would be fundamentally different in some way. It's almost as if food is so much a part of my personality that I worry that I will change as a person by having this surgery. Anyone else find themselves feeling that way? This is a scary journey for me, not because I'm worried about the surgery and the risks involved, or the pain. I'm worried about ME, the me that I know so well and who might act in unhealthy ways, but who I'm so comfortable with. Who will this journey turn me into?

I was supposed to post these questions awhile ago. I didn't write the answers as we talked so I can't remember everything he said, but I think I remember the answers to the important stuff. 1. Number of VSGs done? can't remember this one, but I think he said over a hundred 2. What size boughie used? 40 french 3. Impact of boughie size on maintaining goal weight and not losing too much weight? I think he said this is different for everyone and more related to changing your eating patterns when you reach goal, not so much the boughie size. 4. How much stretching of the sleeve can be expected? the sleeve will not stretch unless you overeat and push it past capacity. 5. Number of leaks you have had? 1 6. Treatment for leaks? go in and reinforce the leak area. then treat as needed in hospital/at home with fluids, etc. until leak heals. risk of leaks with VSG patients is greatest because there are more staples placed. (obviously this is a more complicated issue. this is just the gist of it) 7. Worst case scenario for leak not healing, i.e. loss of stomach functioning? leak will always heal eventually with proper treatment. should not expect to lose your stomach due to a leak. 8. Other complications you have experienced? occasionally incision site infections, but rare. 9. Risk for ulcers? no more so than general population. 10. Is esophagus at risk duing surgery? there is some risk but not a significant concern since staples are kept as far from esophagus as possible. (there was more to this issue that I can't remember) 11. Difference in type of staples used? there really is no difference (can't really remember how I phrased this question, so there may be more there to explore if it interests you) 12. Sew over or buttress staple line? yes, either a sew over or organic (think that's the term he used) reinforcement material is used on the staple line. 13. How do you decide who gets sew over vs reinforcement material? it depends on what is available in the OR. if the reinforcement material is not available, then sew over is done. (of course, this made me want to call the OR and tell them to have that stuff available on my surgery date, but I restrained myself. :crying: I didn't go into which was better as it seemed to be more a matter of convenience to have the reinforment material versus having to do the sew over by hand. I figure with only 1 leak, he's perfected both methods.) 14. Should I expect issues with scar tissue from prior surgeries that might impact this surgery? no 15. Issues with finding a hernia/gallbladder problems? if a hernia is found, it will definitely be fixed during the VSG. the gallbladder will only be removed if it is significantly diseased. 16. Is single incision VSG possible if a hernia is found? can't exactly remember the response to this but I think it was that the single incision will depend on ability to fit necessary instruments into stomach area, not on the hernia. 17. Will I need meds for gas/heartburn postop or for lifetime? this varies by individual (can't remember this part too well but I think more was said) 18. What are some good natural food protein sources for immediately post op? the immediate postop phase is about survival. it is more important to get in fluids. no one is able to take in the recommended protein. (how true!!! it's amazing that I remember this part very clearly but still ended up getting dehydrated. ) :scared0: 19. Recommened vitamins for postop? any store brand multivatim is fine. will need to supplement calcium. (this part was discussed with the nurse when getting all of my postop diet info).