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Maybe there has been some confusion.....as I read some of the responses....I believe....some of you thought that I have had the surgery already...I have not.....I am in the very begginning phases of the process....I have been doing mental battle for about 3 years...and finally in Oct....started taking real steps towards my end goal......I have just finish the Options class that Kaiser has you attend. I have also competed the physical work up...blood work....invasive sonograms....and those darn scales.....but I'm elated......the closer I get to end goal....the more accomplished I feel.,,,The closer I get to the end journey the clearer the understanding is ....THIS IS FOR LIFE....you cant turn back the hand time....and you cant wallow in woulda coulda and shoulda's..... I just wanted a place to place my honest thoughts out there....and maybe just maybe.....some one is out there saying "amen" or "I understand" or maybe find the humor in the twist and turns.......and as my waddle becomes a graceful saunter....im going to smile each step of the way....

One key stroke and I lost everything I wrote! I forgot to save as I was typing. Oh well, I was just explaining how I realize that today I may be drinking my last coca-cola forever. I only drink cokes when things rub me the wrong way at work (it's the equivalent of the old 3 martini lunch for me) Fortunately, this doesn't happen often. I haven't had a coke since January. Now, unless I'm going to start going through a rough patch at work I may (cross my fingers) be sleeved by my next bad day! Coke is going to be out of the question. Nursing my problems with food and drink are a thing of the past. I have to figure out satisfying ways that comfort me but that do not involve food. I've done a lot of work on why I eat and recognizing how I sabotage myself but I've never been able to substitute walks, lipsticks, etc for food. Things change and I am designating this drink as my last coke no matter what. Once I have my date, I will follow every damn rule I'm given and that means no carbonation. So I might as well start now, I know I wont be perfect but I'm going to try. So, I raise my can to say goodbye to Coca-Cola, we had a good run! Maybe I'll suck on a lemon next time I'm mad with the world like I did when I was a kid...

Okay, so its been a rough day. Of course the first thing I want to do is sit on the couch with a glass of wine and a ton of carbs. But no, Instead I am online and reading how other people make the choices everyday to live a healthy and active lifestyle...so I have a choice. I can sit here and feel sorry for my "bad" day or I can hit the gym. I had my sleeve done on 2/17/12. So far I have lost 57.8 lbs. Of course I want it to be 75 lbs...but hey its going down and that is what matters. Somehow I have to learn how to control using food as my "friend" when nobody else is around. So I just downloaded a few new songs to my ipod and headed to the gym at 845pm. Wish me luck!! LOL

Today is week 7 for me postop. I've been losing at a fairly slow (but steady) pace so I was surprised to see that the scale read a 3.8 weight loss for the week (yay!). My total weight loss is now at 29.4 lbs lost. I'm happy to write that I am out of the 240's, 230's, and now the 220's. Now to steadily lose out of the 210's This puts my average weekly weight loss at - 4.2 lbs (I've decided to factor in the 10 lbs I lost pre op). Not sure why the scale jumped so dramatically this week. I've only exercised once this week (deliberately). My best meal this week came from the Outback. I had their seared Ahi Tuna appetizer (small plate) and a cup of their baked potato soup (Yum! My new Outback favorite). Now to see what the next week brings!

I had my final surgical consult today and it went great. Surgery is a go for 5/22/12 at 7:30am! During my endoscopic exam they found that I have a hiatal hernia, which explains my acid reflux agony these past few years. My surgeon is going to repair that as well. I have a higher chance of blood clots due to my hematology disorder so I will also be on preventative shots for a week after too. I'm really fortunate to have a doctor who cares so much about my health during this process. I'm getting more excited than nervous these days! 6 more days

Well I put it out there that I had lost 110 pounds, but have recently found over the last 5 months or so that I haven't had any restriction with my Realize Band and found myself up about 30 pounds. I've gone to my doc for fills (I'm up to a WHOPPING 11CCs in my band!) and attended support group meetings and both my doctor and I were stumped. Then a member of this site sent me the suggestion to try the 5 Day Pouch Test. http://www.5daypouchtest.com Originally created by a person who had the Gastric Bypass surgery, it's seems to "renew" the sense of restriction we all felt from the beginning of our journey with the lap band surgery. I spoke with my doctor and he had never heard of it, but it looked like a good idea to him. SO Dr. Fiallo has challenged me to try it and I'm already on Day Two!!! Like the website says, many of us turn to "Slider Foods," the foods that slide right through our bands to maybe avoid that uncomfortable feeling.(You know, that RESTRICTION feeling we're SUPPOSED to feel...) BUT let's face it, what's better than eating the foods we all LOVED (but didn't love us back- because they made us fat in the first place!) Things that go through our bands easily are crackers, chips, JUNK FOOD...(I know I'm certainly guilty of eating this garbage!) and what apparently happens is these junk foods slide right through the bands and don't fill us up... The point is, it's not only a jump start for my band, but even if it isn't the "miracle cure" I've been searching for, it's certainly puts my recent food choices up for scrutiny...I WANT to be healthy again...AND I REALLY WANT TO GET BACK INTO MY SIZE 6 GAP JEANS THIS SUMMER!!! LOL Days 1 and 2 are clear liquids. The site has told me that on Days 1 & 2 I need to stick to "Liquid Protein" Listed are: Low-carb protein shakes (hello my old friend Unjury...), broth, clear or Cream (I know, yay! CREAM!) Soups, Sugar-free Jello AND PUDDING...and of course PLENTY of water. I've even included black coffee (with a SMALL amount of sugar free creamer...I just couldn't stomach the black coffee alone...) Well, today (Tuesday, May 15, 2012) many of my students (I teach high school, but have known may students from before my weight loss surgery, so they've celebrated my weight loss and know my agony of what I've put back on...) asked if I've lost weight!!! The mentioned my pants were looking too baggy...and you know kids, they are brutally honest!!! SO anyway, I'm super psyched and that has kept me going on this. I am actually down about 4 pounds since last Friday (5/11)(I should also mention that I've been counting calories like a crazy person and have limited myself to 1200 - 1500/day using the smart phone app "myfitnesspal.") Anyhow, I hope some of you out there find this info helpful. I will update my progress daily, wish me luck!! (Also wishing you all the best of luck on this journey to being healthy!!!) Tara xx

I came home today, tired and exhausted from work. My to be brought some fried chicken home.....I ate a piece and was upset with myself from breaking down into the temptation of that oily greasy delicous piece of meat....;I instantly got up and started sewing (yes making my wedding guest gifts and loving every moment of it).... all of the sudden I broke out with a huge giggle, which turned into hysterical laughter....realizing I ate one piece of chicken....just one...not half the bird...not twenty wingettes.....just the wing......i made a huge step...I ate....i walked away realizing that this is not what i wanted or needed....and i found something to take me away....and it was almost effortlessly..... Im still grinning .....It feels wonderful to find triumph even in a mistake......

well after 2 long years of struggling i am finnaly back on track and the weight is flying off, when i stepped on the scale today i am so happy to say i am 101 pounds down!!!! cant wait 20 more pounds and i will be in onderland!!!!!

I don't know that I've ever felt so prepared for anything in my life. Mentally, emotionally, even physically. My surgery is in 4 short days. I started the Pre-Op diet 6 days ago and have lost over 11 lbs so far. Seeing the way my body is responding is making me feel very positive! I know I will hit plateaus, but for now, I'm going to keep plugging along. The past week I've started easing up on myself. I'm VERY Type A. My house is ALWAYS spotless, as is my car, husbands truck, my work desk, you get the idea. I decided that I needed to just stop. I needed to let myself sit still and relax and NOT eat while I tried. Before, if I was forced to sit still and say, watch a TV show with my husband, I would grab something to snack on so I could keep my hands busy. I've forced myself to change. I picked up my Kindle, downloaded some amazing books, and have spent hours upon hours reading. It's made the Pre-Op Diet go by so much better! I set aside a few hours Sunday morning to whip through the house and do a deep clean (thankfully, my husband is so good at keeping the house going during the week) and wash my car, but that was about it. Otherwise, I was playing with the dogs or just simply relaxing, something I haven't honestly done in a very long time. Let me tell you, it was AMAZING. Mentally, I feel so much better! I know it sounds super corny, but I finally have this sense of inner calmness. I know that the house won't fall apart if I don't vacuum every day. I know that the world won't stop if I take time for myself. After trying it, and seeing it succeed, I feel SO much more prepared for surgery.