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* Warning* This is a comical view of weight loss with the sleeve. Please understand that I say many things just for the laugh or shock value. I do not need you to tell me to not "do it" or "do this". I appreciate your caring, but please know that I am a strong person and I wouldn't do a lot of the crazy things I say I want to....notice I didn't say ALL. Enjoy the blog and have a good laugh. I know I enjoy writing them* Warning done. Today is my one mouth anniversary. I can't believe how much has changed since I walked in the hospital April 12, 2012. I would have never thought I would be eating regular food (but not much) , or drinking normal (without one ounce cups). If you would have told me in the hospital that I would be 40lbs smaller since my two week apt. before surgery, I would never have believed you. If you would have told me that I would be happy (for the most part) with the food I eat, I would have laughed at you. But, it's all true. I'm happy, healthy, and loosing a little every week. I went for my follow up apt. today. First, you have to understand that my hormones have been CRAZY. One second I am yelling and screaming and thinking about throwing my husband out the window, then the next second, I am laughing, cuddling, and trying to use my husband as though he's a gigolo. You would think he would appreciate the second part, but as he told the doctor today, "I feel like a piece of meat." Well, doesn't' he understand, that's what I want??? LOL It's been forever. According the doctor, this is all normal. Apparently (for those of us who didn't know), we have hormones stored in our fat cells, and when we loose weight, the hormones burst into our blood stream. At least we can feel it coming on. I know when I am getting ready to loose it, I don't do anything to stop it. Is it because I know my husband will love me no matter what? Nope, It's really that I just don't care. Now, I don't want to sound like a witch. That's not it. It's just they come on so fast, the idea of trying to stop them or walking away doesn't seem as good as letting it all out. At least I say I am sorry...the doctor said I do this because I know he won't leave me....I'm not so sure about that. If he doesn't, he's the strongest man out there. I don't think I could live with me. Just think about the worst PMS you've ever had. Now times it by 1000. Yeap, that's what weight loss does to us. Our poor families. Now, let me tell you about the sex talk at the doctor's office. I know that I can have sex after 1 month. I've known this for months. My husband had questions. Ones I wasn't expecting. So imagine this situation. It's me, my husband and the doctor. Scott- Can we have sex? Doctor- Yes, if you want to Me- Oh, I want to. I can't keep my hands off him Scott- It's true, it's like I'm a piece of meat Doctor- Get used to it Scott- I don't know how to ask this Doctor- You can just say it Me- Looking at my husband like 'what on earth are you getting ready to ask' Scott- Ok, is there any way we can't do it? I mean, can we only do it regular? Me- OH MY GOSH-----REALLY? Doctor- You can do it any way you want as long as it doesn't hurt Ok, here is where my inner male comes out. I had to laugh at this. Me- No, we have a safe word for when that happens. (laughing) Actually we don't. It's not like we have whips and chains and things. Doctor- (looks a little shocked...but can tell we're joking around) I think we're all done here. See you back in a month. Now, to be honest, there was a little more to that conversation but I wanted you to have the funny stuff. When Scott asked about my emotions, she said to him and this is a quote, "Get used to it". He looked at her and said, "I'm not sure that's possible." So, now were home and of course I've attempted to seduce him, right after I lost it in the restaurant because my food was gross (thanks a lot taste buds for changing on me). Of course the poor man doesn't know what to do so he turns me down and sits on the couch to play on the PlayStation. I swear, reading this, you would think we were 17 year olds. Maybe that's why my emotions are so crazy...I'm really 17. Gosh I hope not.

I had my 2nd follow-up with my surgeon on Wednesday 5/09. He was just thrilled with my weight loss so far. He said I was doing great and to just keep on doing what I'm doing. He told me I had no restrictions on my activities from here on out, so whatever I feel like doing, to go right ahead (Zumba, here I come)! He wants me to come back in 2 months to do some follow-up bloodwork. Different foods I've tried this past week are: Artisan Pizza (from Dominoes) - 1 slice of Chicken & Bacon Carbonara - No problems, just ate super slow and chewed, chewed, chewed! Veggie Burger (MorningStar Farms) - Really good and had no problem with a thin bun. Rib-Eye Steak - pan seared & served with Blue Cheese Butter (Better than a 5 star restaurant) Asparagus - sauteed in olive oil, garlic, and served with Parmesan cheese I'm so thankful that my sleeve has tolerated all these foods with zero issues. I just make sure that I chew, chew, chew! This next week is super busy, each and every day is filled with obligations, so I'm planning ahead and making sure I have plenty of protein bars, fruit, etc., to get me through it. Just because I can now tolerate most foods, is not permission to go out and eat them all! I had this surgery so that I could lose weight, get healthy, and still enjoy my life. While I enjoy a few of the "no-no foods", that's a rarity, and at least now when I eat pizza, it's just 1 slice, and then that's it. No desire to eat another bite! I've been walking 3 miles (4 times a week) with a friend, and I think that next week we'll try to push it to 3.5, and see how we tolerate it.

I have been going up and down a few pounds. It is like mental torture. I did drop 8pounds in 7 days but the reason was I have pneumonia, so that doesn't count. Now it is TOM and the water weights here! Well at least I got to see that number and boy it felt great. It has inspired me to dig in, because although I saw the number because I was sick, I now know that it's there....really....strange when you step on the scale and see a number you haven't seen in 15 years! Keep trudging along until I get there. Can't wait til ONEderland!!! There is going be a party!

Hi Everyone, Been getting out and about a bit more than usual so have not been on here for a while. As you can see from my title, I actually jogged! Me, who hasn't run since I was 11 years old. Ok, it was only for 3 minutes but I did it. I ran. Wow, it was amazing. My knees held out, my heart didn't burst and I felt incredible, well at least for a short while. After that I just felt plain knackered. Sorry, tired. I have done this twice now, again only for 3 minutes, but I figure I have to start somewhere and I can build it up as I have my other exercises. My husband was absolutely gobsmacked. His face was a picture, I wish I had had my camera with me as he looked so funny. I don't think I will ever run that far, but at least I can run (in short bursts) It is not a pretty sight, as everything jiggles and flops around something terrible. I don't care only my husband can see, and he has seen me at my very worst. So what else is new, not much: I have not lost any more weight so I will have to get out my tape measure again as I need a boost at the moment. This stall is lasting way too long! Oh, I went out for my first meal since my operation. It was lunch at a cafe near where my sister lives, we were having a girls day out. I had cauliflower cheese, I asked for and received a small portion and had a small new potato with it too. I ate all the cauliflower cheese but less than half of the potato. It was great to feel 'normal' again. Yes I could only eat a small portion, but no one looked at me as if I was a freak for eating so little. I took my time and enjoyed every mouthful. (My sister doesn't know about my operation). She had a dessert, and I had a teaspoon of her dessert just to taste it. It was a lemon and lime gateaux. Delicious, but after that teaspoon I didn't want any more. I never imagined a day when I would be able to say that! I am beginning to enjoy the 'power' of the sleeve. Knowing I can try any food, but will be happy with just a tiny amount is empowering. Food doesn't control me anymore, I control it. I can take it or leave it. I know you will all understand what a huge change that is for me. I feel like wonderwoman or superwoman. At the moment I wouldn't be a bit surprised if I was able to leap tall buildings! So if you see an old woman with lots of jiggly bits leaping a tall building, that will be me. Phoenix :wub:

Here is a little picture update. It is possible with lap band and a lot of hard work. First photo is pre surgery, second photo is May 2011, third photo is this week May 2012. Some days I find it hard to believe when I look in the mirror that this is really me!

This has been a very trying week for me.... I never really realized the depth of my addiction to food... The PTA has been celebrating Teacher Appriciation all week long... so there have been snacks in my box everyday this week and they have provided us with lunch including desserts.... today when I entered the lounge... there was a large spread of pastas and pies.... I was soo tempted to just take a small sample of all of the goods... but instead, I decided to come back to my class and Blog... while drinking my protein shake... all is good though... I am feeling stronger already.. Thanking God for Blessing me with the strength resist temptation....

Day 10. I had my first follow up appointment yesterday and they said I can incorporate pureed stuff and other foods when I feel that I can handle them. Which is good because I could only do two days of cream soup before I realized that I pretty much hate soup. Especially cream soup. But I did have a tomato parmesean bisque that didn't suck. I rarely, if ever, want soup. Most of the soup I've ever consumed in my life has been convenience soup (soup that was already made for dinner). I had some oatmeal yesterday and white fish today. I ate way less than I thought I would eat. Normally, I'd have eaten the whole piece but I only ate about 1/3 of it and was full. Which was cool. It's interesting to eat like a "normal" person as opposed to eating everything that isn't nailed down. I wonder if it's possible to have forgotten what feeling "full" feels like? I think it is. I got my clearance to go back to work on Monday, which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I'm bored as hell being off. I watched Season 3 of Full House today. The whole damn thing. On the other hand, I sorta hate the monotony of my job and have NOT missed being in a place where I think people take the rhetorical question "how stupid can you be?" as a challenge. But sitting on my ass watching Full House reruns doesn't pay well or have health insurance, so I guess I have to go back to work. I'd like to win the lottery, but it's a Catch-22, because you can't win if you don't play and I can't justify buying lottery tickets. I'm a terrible gambler. I lose interest in being in a casino after like 20 minutes. Yeah...I don't know where I was going with that. Anyway, I feel pretty good. Incisions are still a little sore, but it's not to the point where it's an unbearable pain. They said that there was no problem with the one steristrip falling off and that covering it with a band aid was fine. Healing's going well, which is a relief. You always read about horrible complications and when they don't happen, you feel relieved that your life didn't turn into an episode of House, M.D. I don't really have anything interesting to write about, so I'll just stop with the rambling now...

I have not been able to eat salmon without puking since I had the surgery. That is until today. Dr. Jones instructed me to eat my salmon and grilled chicken, even tho everytime I did so, I would get that awful mucus build up, it would hurt and I would eventually "toss" some back out. So I've been working on eating very very slow, chewing a whole lot (which is all the basis of the band which we tend to ignore until it gets to this), and waiting 2-3 minutes, sometimes 5 between the very small bites. This morning I decided the salmon I cooked 3 days ago was not going in the trash. I tried it yesterday morning and it was pain and mucus. This morning, I took it even slower and guess what? It stayed down, no pain, no mucus and I ate my salmon! every piece of the 2oz piece of fish I paid so much for. It wasn't easy as I literally took one bite, and started chewing as I made my way to the shower. After the shower I took another bite and chewed as I put on some clothes, and etc etc etc...I took me over 30 minutes to eat it, but it stayed down and I ate slow which are the most important aspects of this band. Am I ready to tackle my grilled chicken? Let me get comfy with my salmon routine first:) Cheers~