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* Warning* This is a comical view of weight loss with the sleeve. Please understand that I say many things just for the laugh or shock value. I do not need you to tell me to not "do it" or "do this". I appreciate your caring, but please know that I am a strong person and I wouldn't do a lot of the crazy things I say I want to....notice I didn't say ALL. Enjoy the blog and have a good laugh. I know I enjoy writing them* Warning done. Today is my one mouth anniversary. I can't believe how much has changed since I walked in the hospital April 12, 2012. I would have never thought I would be eating regular food (but not much) , or drinking normal (without one ounce cups). If you would have told me in the hospital that I would be 40lbs smaller since my two week apt. before surgery, I would never have believed you. If you would have told me that I would be happy (for the most part) with the food I eat, I would have laughed at you. But, it's all true. I'm happy, healthy, and loosing a little every week. I went for my follow up apt. today. First, you have to understand that my hormones have been CRAZY. One second I am yelling and screaming and thinking about throwing my husband out the window, then the next second, I am laughing, cuddling, and trying to use my husband as though he's a gigolo. You would think he would appreciate the second part, but as he told the doctor today, "I feel like a piece of meat." Well, doesn't' he understand, that's what I want??? LOL It's been forever. According the doctor, this is all normal. Apparently (for those of us who didn't know), we have hormones stored in our fat cells, and when we loose weight, the hormones burst into our blood stream. At least we can feel it coming on. I know when I am getting ready to loose it, I don't do anything to stop it. Is it because I know my husband will love me no matter what? Nope, It's really that I just don't care. Now, I don't want to sound like a witch. That's not it. It's just they come on so fast, the idea of trying to stop them or walking away doesn't seem as good as letting it all out. At least I say I am sorry...the doctor said I do this because I know he won't leave me....I'm not so sure about that. If he doesn't, he's the strongest man out there. I don't think I could live with me. Just think about the worst PMS you've ever had. Now times it by 1000. Yeap, that's what weight loss does to us. Our poor families. Now, let me tell you about the sex talk at the doctor's office. I know that I can have sex after 1 month. I've known this for months. My husband had questions. Ones I wasn't expecting. So imagine this situation. It's me, my husband and the doctor. Scott- Can we have sex? Doctor- Yes, if you want to Me- Oh, I want to. I can't keep my hands off him Scott- It's true, it's like I'm a piece of meat Doctor- Get used to it Scott- I don't know how to ask this Doctor- You can just say it Me- Looking at my husband like 'what on earth are you getting ready to ask' Scott- Ok, is there any way we can't do it? I mean, can we only do it regular? Me- OH MY GOSH-----REALLY? Doctor- You can do it any way you want as long as it doesn't hurt Ok, here is where my inner male comes out. I had to laugh at this. Me- No, we have a safe word for when that happens. (laughing) Actually we don't. It's not like we have whips and chains and things. Doctor- (looks a little shocked...but can tell we're joking around) I think we're all done here. See you back in a month. Now, to be honest, there was a little more to that conversation but I wanted you to have the funny stuff. When Scott asked about my emotions, she said to him and this is a quote, "Get used to it". He looked at her and said, "I'm not sure that's possible." So, now were home and of course I've attempted to seduce him, right after I lost it in the restaurant because my food was gross (thanks a lot taste buds for changing on me). Of course the poor man doesn't know what to do so he turns me down and sits on the couch to play on the PlayStation. I swear, reading this, you would think we were 17 year olds. Maybe that's why my emotions are so crazy...I'm really 17. Gosh I hope not.

I have been going up and down a few pounds. It is like mental torture. I did drop 8pounds in 7 days but the reason was I have pneumonia, so that doesn't count. Now it is TOM and the water weights here! Well at least I got to see that number and boy it felt great. It has inspired me to dig in, because although I saw the number because I was sick, I now know that it's there....really....strange when you step on the scale and see a number you haven't seen in 15 years! Keep trudging along until I get there. Can't wait til ONEderland!!! There is going be a party!

I love your attitude. I knew if my insurance didn't approve me, I would have also found another way. Keep your head up, and I "hope" you have sleep apnea

Wow you look absolutely gorgeous and you are losing so fast! I almost 6 months out and I'm down 60lbs. Don't get me wrong because I'm proud of my progress but you are doing awesome. Keep up the good work!

a little bit of 50 shades of grey there! lol or speculation thereof.... lol

Looking good!

I have not been able to eat salmon without puking since I had the surgery. That is until today. Dr. Jones instructed me to eat my salmon and grilled chicken, even tho everytime I did so, I would get that awful mucus build up, it would hurt and I would eventually "toss" some back out. So I've been working on eating very very slow, chewing a whole lot (which is all the basis of the band which we tend to ignore until it gets to this), and waiting 2-3 minutes, sometimes 5 between the very small bites. This morning I decided the salmon I cooked 3 days ago was not going in the trash. I tried it yesterday morning and it was pain and mucus. This morning, I took it even slower and guess what? It stayed down, no pain, no mucus and I ate my salmon! every piece of the 2oz piece of fish I paid so much for. It wasn't easy as I literally took one bite, and started chewing as I made my way to the shower. After the shower I took another bite and chewed as I put on some clothes, and etc etc etc...I took me over 30 minutes to eat it, but it stayed down and I ate slow which are the most important aspects of this band. Am I ready to tackle my grilled chicken? Let me get comfy with my salmon routine first:) Cheers~

It happens, the IV fluid takes a while to get out of the system, but dont be surprised if you lose 10 pounds in a week

You are absolutely right. I believe my surgery is a God given opportunity to overcome my failed attempts - an answer to much prayer. He is giving me a chance and I must have the courage to make this choice to reign in my excesses.

I'm 4 weeks post surgery & having the same issue with how to put meals together. My Husband & I went to breakfast this morning. My first meal out! I had oatmeal & It was really good, but now I have enough left overs for all week! I worried about what to eat. I need to go thru the sample diets they gave me.