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I thought I covered what type of blog I was writing in my first one. But, apparently, not everyone reads all the entries. So, from now on I think I am going to have to do the following. *******DISCLAIMER!!!!! What you are about to read is to be taken lightly. It's goal is to make you smile, laugh, and hopefully see the funny side of going through weight loss surgery. This blog is in no way my feeble attempt to get advice (unless I ask for it), or to be told what I am doing or saying is wrong. We are all different. We all heal differently. We all experience different things. With all this in mind, please enjoy my take on life after the sleeve. I hope it helps make your day just a little bit easier and happier. ********* Now that all that is out of the way. I feel the need to talk about the looks I've been getting from people when I tell them I've had weight loss surgery. I actually find the looks funny. For example. Today I went to GNC to see if I could find some type of protein drink that I can actually handle. When I went in, I got attacked by the vulture (aka the sales man). So, I proceed to explain to him that I had weight loss surgery and I was looking for a protein that I could handle (and that tasted good). It was interesting to see the look on his face when I said the surgery thing. It was only a split second or two, but it was obvious that he did not approve of my surgery. Not that I asked or wanted his approval. All I wanted him to do was help me find some protein I could handle. So, I ignored him and followed him around the store as he explained to me how, everything "tastes amazing". I know not to trust sales people, but really, EVERYTHING??? I highly doubt that. We are talking about protein and I have rarely met a protein that I found "yummy". So, after he promised me I would "love" this one brand, I decided to throw him off his game. I asked if he had samples or if they sold them per bottle. I refused to buy a whole thing of them only to get home and find out I didn't like it. So again, the sly fox of a salesman pulled this one on me, "No, we don't. However, I will give you this bottle if you PROMISE not to tell my manager. I really am not allowed to do this." I actually laughed at him as I saw the bottles behind the counter that they used for such an occasion.. Did he really think I was going to buy that line? Well, as shocking as it sounds, it really wasn't that bad. It's called GNC Total Lean, Lean Shake. It has 25g of protein, 2g of sugar, 3g of fiber (which I really need but more on that later), total fat 6g, and 170 calories. I had to taste it warm and I was able to stand it so I am sure once it's ice cold, it will be much better. As a whole, the unapproving, over zealous salesman did a good job. And, he gave me the first, "I don't agree with your decision" look since my surgery which I kind of enjoyed in a strange way. Next I headed to Walgreens. I needed a fiber supplement and I needed one fast. Not to give TMI, but my first number 2 after 9 days and two things of Miralax, was more like the number 2 of a VERY LARGE rabbit. It wasn't fun passing, and as soon as I was done, I was ready to find a way for that not to happen again. After staring at all my options for a good 15mins, I finally gave up and went to talk to the pharmacist. I proceeded to tell her my issue and included that I had the gastric sleeve and because i was unable to get much food in, my fiber was almost non-existing. There is was again....that LOOK. She took a little longer to recover than the GNC guy (if she did at all). Even while she was telling me about what fiber would be my best option, she was unable to hide her disapproval of my decision. So it was right then, in Walgreens that I decided. Screw YOU....SCREW ALL OF YOU who think you have any idea what I have gone through, or why I decided to do this. No one asked for your approval or disapproval so don't give it. And, if you do give it, be prepared for me to tell you I don't really care what you think. I did this for me. I did it for my health. I did it for my medical reasons. No, it's not easy. No, I couldn't just eat less and exercise. I've tried that. It didn't work. So, keep your two cents and I promise I won't judge you on your attitude (which sucks) , your clothing (I don't care what the magazines say, you do not look good in overly tight jeans and five inch heals), your hair (1980 called and they want their puffy bangs back) , your makeup (yes, it looks good on models, but you are not a model and you you didn't have a professional do it) , your marriage (don't lie and say you have a perfect marriage, we all know your spouse is not "running errands", he/she is running around on you), your children (a rough patch is a few months or back-talking not years of getting arrested and being pregnant at 12) ....or any other decision you've made or thing you've had happen during your life. If you don't want to be judged, DO NOT JUDGE. Now, before I get attacked for children/marriage/clothing/hair/attitude thing. I know there are always other issues at play. I was just using these as examples of things people do talk about and look down at others for. Funny thing is, people will not be as blunt with their feelings with those people as they are with me for having weight loss surgery. And my decision is one to help me and make me healthier. Doesn't something just sound wrong with that?

Its been a while since I've been here - I've been trying to pop in once in a while when I get the chance, but I've been so busy! I have now officially dropped over 70 lbs since I started my preop, and over 50 since surgery 3 months ago. I have had no complications, my skin is bouncing back thus far (I know I'll need to have some work done later but I'm good with that) - I have energy, I have enthusiasm and I have the best future ahead of me. I have been staying away from the scale - about every 3 weeks I weigh myself. I weighed myself the other day and I was at 314, and that's with a few pounds of bloat since its that time of the month. I'll weigh myself again in a few weeks to see where I'm at - I don't wanna see a 3 as that first number the next time I step on the scale. I haven't had much opportunity to really incorporate additional exercise other than being a billion times more active than normal to my routine, but I'm getting there. As soon as i was able to, I of course tweaked my shoulder. But I'm feeling better and will be getting the exercise roaring very soon. I have noticed some of my tastes change - I still crave red meat - that will never change. The large majority of what I eat has always been lean protein, but now....those "guilty pleasure" items - mac and cheese, potatoes, anything really starchy just doesn't do it for me anymore. I really dig that. Hubby and I went out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and I had their egg sandwich, which I ate the 2 eggs and had a bite of the hashbrown casserole and a small bite of hubby's pancakes and they just didn't satisfy me - I just wanted the eggs! Wow - i just got distracted by Maks on DWTS - (watching the results show on the DVR and he was dancing to "Let's get it on" good thing watching him dance is calorie free - in fact I think I just burned a few calories watching that! haha!) Anyway! back to what I was saying! I've gone down in clothes sizes, I have the steering wheel all the way down in the car (my legs used to hit it), I sit in booths and feel small in them, there ain't a chair my butt won't fit in and I even sleep better and don't need as much sleep as I did for so long, I fit comfortably in the bathtub to take a bath (one of my favorite things) I'm wearing clothes I havent worn in years. I put on a pair of heels and not only did they fit my feet, they didn't hurt my feet. I'm getting my shoes back! Yay! Right now, I weigh less than I have in about 4 years. I cannot believe the progress. Once I got those f**king tumors out of my body, I'm feeling so much better - the only rage I have is that I couldn't get it done sooner. However, I have come to terms with that for the most part. I think that with the breast cancer scare, the steroid tumors, nearly losing my marriage, all the trials and tribulations that my husband and I went through with losing our jobs and our employer stealing tens of thousands of dollars from us has made us stronger individually and as a couple. Nothing in my life that I wanted has EVER come easily - but I tell you what - I have more appreciation for everything I have brought to myself than most people I know - and I will FIGHT for it. I cannot describe what all of these battles have done for me as a person. I'm glad that I got to know so many people here. I'm glad that I had the surgeon I did. While I'm not glad that our previous employer stole so much money from us, I'm glad of the outcome that we ended up where we did with the careers that we have now. I am decidedly in love with my husband and we love our life and what we have to offer to the world. We can't wait to see what happens next. Many that I talk to about this wonder how having to have surgery to have tumors and the majority of my stomach removed could be the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I just smile and tell them that they haven't lived my life What I do know is that life is good and its getting GREAT If you can't tell - I'm very excited about the future.

So I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I feel like my last two blogs this week have a whiney tone to them, my apologies. Considering I spoke with the dr's wife who does the nutritionist counseling for him and explained to her that my tummy contorts whenever I eat anything pureed at first and if I drink 1/4 of an oz of liquid, it helps... she told me I might have a stricture. You know just whenever pneumonia and a leak and abscess weren't enough ... now I worry I have a stricture. Let's hope that's not the case because if it is, IDK how I'm going to ever regain my confidence back. Oh lawd, here's that baby again. Ok big girl panties, I wanted to post something more solid, more positive. So I have a book that I'm going to post something from. The book is called "Small Bites: Daily Inspirations for WLS Patients" and it's by Katie Jay and Julia Persing. I borrowed it from the bariatric nurse edjucator from the hospital. Set your angel free When you decided to have WLS, were you longing to set free something inside you? Obesity had hidden your true self from view. You longed to reveal the inner you. So, each day WLS has chipped away at your exterior. Michaelangelo said "I saw the angel in the stone and carved until I set him free." Yet at the end of his first day, the rock still looked like...... a rock. Only slowly did it become the beautiful creation that was locked within. As you lose weight, you will change many times, you will wake up mornings and not recognize the thinner face that has replaced the rounded one. In time, with consistency, effort, and a firm vision, you will release your angel within. Set aside a few quiet moments and visualize the inner you - your inner angel. In your mind, embrace that vision, talk to it, and plan together how your inner angel can help you remain steadfast.

So I was banded on March 5th 2012 at a size 18/20. Well on Sunday I tore a tag off of a 14/16 dress for church and YEP it was TOO BIG..... YAAYYYYY. Now I have only lost 24 pounds which does not seem like a lot to me, but I am happy with my success so far. I am only 7 weeks out and down in sizes so hay... I guess that is my first NSV..... its the small things that count and keep you motivated and I am ecstatic I still have 58 pounds to go and I am ready for the remainder of my journey and to get to where I want to be....... Loving my lap band....

The best part? That I want to celebrate by going to the gym, not eating a million course meal! Its been a long time, but I did it, which means I can do it, and anything else I put my mind to. I have never been so happy in my life, I have to take my nails off but thats the lest of my worries, I just, its a great feeling!

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So, once again If I stay consistant, follow the lapband rules and have a motivation/inspiration I do so much better. I have big events upcoming and I wont to feel and look my best. Las Vegas Meet n Greet (May), Hawaii anniversary trip (June), fitting for bridesmaid (August), new school assignment (August). With that said...I can't be slacking and acting like I don't know how and what to do to lose this weight I put on. I saw one of my videos from April last year and I had actually gotten down to 218 lbs. Really !!! See, if you are reading this blog....DO NOT take a break from living as a bandster! Its a daily life changing event. If you take a break, eat whatever you want, exercise some, not follow the LB rules; you can and will gain the weight back and FAST. I will not let this happen again...once I get to my goal weight I must maintain. My doctor recommended goal weight for my body type and all that is 221 lbs. When he told me that I was like What!! Dang thats still FAT. He was like for you it would be good and you will be healthy, a smaller size. He was so right even though I saw 218-due to a liquid diet I'm sure... I still bounce back and forth all over the 220s. So, I won't be hard on myself Like I was last year. I won't just say' ugg forget it why work this hard and I'm not losing'...so what if I don't bounce in the 220s for months...years...I will be the best me in years.! With that said Never Giving UP is my motto for life. I have stayed consistant this week-eating basically the same meal plan daily,exercising at least 30-60 minutes, not eating and drinking together, not eating High calorie sweets (been doing the Weight Watchers desserts), eating protein first in all my meals and snacks. Sample of my Meals this week.... Brkft- Mocha Latte Protein Snack- Tuna in pouch w/ light mayo Lunch- Healthy Choice meal- taking out the carbs and adding more veggie Snack- Protein Smoothy ( made w/ protein, ice, hawaiian punch single, fresh strawberries) or one day I had a protein bar Dinner- Tilapia(sauteed)no salt, Stir Fry Veggies, and starch ( usually risotto, couscous,red potato)...later after if I have a desire a weight watcher dessert. ---- Workouts T/R zumba of course and all other days 30 min of either walk,kettlebell, softball (I coach) or bowl ( i'm on league) So, I will be eating the same way till I go to Hawaii.... I will eat different in Vegas but will make good choices. I must and will stay consistant.... I really like seeing the scales go down! Its motivating and not depressing of course. I'm the type that need to weigh daily.

What a cool experience! First I was SO nervous and a little scared. I had mine done in radiology with my doctor and the radiologist. I got to see everything on the monitor. Both doctors were so gentle and the actual shot part was nothing more than a little pinch on my tummy however I would advise not to look at the needle but then again I’m one of those people that passes out getting my blood taken. It was really neat to see the barium after I swallowed it to go down to my band and pass on. As for the feeling of your band tighten, you can feel that just a little. No pain what so ever. Just feels like something giving your stomach a little hug were the band is. I have a 10cc band and had 3cc filled from surgery so now I had 1.5cc put in today for a total of 4.5cc. Hope this helps calm the minds of others going in for their first fill. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

So I went in today, and I'm down to 138. I'm just glad to still be below 240! My blood pressure, which was a problem post-op, was high, but is never high when I check it at home. Nurse said to just keep an eye on it. Could be "white coat" syndrome (lol) = doctor visit induced anxiety. So my doctor, who is fabulous by the way, said no fill. he wanted to know what I was eating---we went through the list.....beans....rice....tabouli.....salads....veggies...protein drinks....my list is pretty general. Yes, sometimes I have ice cream. He was concerned about puking and band slippage. He was iinclined to remove some fluid... He suggested I take out the carbs and focus on eating the things I've been complaining about.....grilled chicken that I probably don't chew enough before swallowing=vomiting; fish=ditto; eggs=ditto His suggestion is that I take more time to chew and eat these foods that absorb the fat in my body....to speed up weight loss. I was avoiding these foods because they get stuck and cause mucus buildup and puking. So now, I'm going to try it his way. Nutrionist didn't agree with the negative carbs and told me all about how carbs fuel the brain but I've also done enough reading to know that I won't die from not eating carbs. I kind of trust the surgeon more than the nutrionists on this one..... So I have a new eating guideline....that includes breakfast which for me is normally a cup of coffee because I'm never hungry in the morning. Then I'm going to try some pure protein....vegetarian protein where I can as I'm not a big meat person anyhow. So, we shall see how this works. I wasn't too disappointed about not having the fill. Wasn't looking forwards to liquids and mushies for 3 weeks:) Be well friends. We are here and there is no turning back~