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I am so excited....The Wii can no longer tell me to "GET OFF", it used to tell me how mobildy obese I was and until I changed that it would not let me play I was "TOO FAT". Well today I had the most amazing thing happen, I stepped on the scale and low and behold it read under 300#, this is the first time in over 12 yrs...I can say that I have seen the number under my feet. I have so much energy and have rewarded myself with new dining room walls and living room wainscoting....LOL, funny it used to be I would reward myself with a candy bar or a big tub of ice cream.... I am so thankful to Dr. Aceves and Dr. Campoz for giving me the tool to change the rest of my life. My son always asks "mom, can you have ......?" "well I can but I prefer not to." I found during the sermon on Sunday a perfect responce to his question.... I Cor 6:12 "Everything is permissable, but everything is not beneficial". Now that sums up the moto for the rest of my life...

Okay, seriously, has anybody else felt that nesting instinct right before surgery? I've cleaned the heck out of my house! I'm practically seeing animated sparkles floating in the air...or at least I did until my kitty just threw up on the floor. Thanks, Mara. Also I'm totally diggin' this liquid diet. I feel really light and bouncy on my feet and have lost over 10 pounds. Another humerus aspect is that I'll be gone for 2 weeks as I'm staying with my parents and when I get back it'll be all dusty again, lol! So, the day after tomorrow is it! I'm so excited! And it's gonna go by fast, because I have to get up at 4am for work, then after I get off at 1pm I run on home to pick up the kitty and then drive 3.5 hours to my parents. Then we wait for my mom to get home, then we get in the car and drive 1.5 to the hospital (they have hotel-type rooms you can rent for $25) as I have a 7am check in time! Finally, surgery! Ya'll, life is plain peachy right now! Woot woot!

11 days ago I was wheeled back to the surgery room (yes, I remember this) and I told all the doctors, "Have fun taking the majority of my stomach out. I'm so ready for this...just don't mess up." The last thing I heard before I was knocked out was laughter. If you ask me, that's a great thing to hear before you undergo any major surgery. When I woke up, there wasn't any more laughing. Actually, I had Nurse Hatchet as my post op nurse. I remember thinking, "this lady is in the wrong field." She wouldn't listen to me when I told her how much pain I was in. All she would say was, "of course you're in pain, you just had surgery." Needless to say, the hospital messed up and didn't give me the right meds and that's why I was in so much pain. If Nurse Hatchet would have listened to the half asleep, babbling girl in post op, she may have noticed the hospital's mistakes and fixed them. Instead, I had to deal with horrific pain for 5 hours before my husband finally said something to the nurse who was caring for me in my room. Due to my chronic back pain, I am on some major feel good drugs. Knowing this, they still put me on medication that was lower than what I normally take. However, thanks to my passive aggressive (sometimes there's no passive about it) husband, I was placed on the correct meds and began healing. Once I came home, I was shocked at all the gas I had to expel. While in the hospital all I did was burp a few times but once I got home, the gas couldn't find a way out fast enough. It didn't care why exit it used as long as it escaped. I learned that walking helped me get the gasses out even faster. The crazy thing is that no matter how long I walked, the gas seemed to wait to exit once I was done and in the house. My husband swears I held it in and let it out in the house on purpose just to prove he didn't marry a woman. He has told me multiple times this week that I am a man with a vagina....because no woman expels that much gas. To be honest, there were times I wondered if he was right. Then came the mood swings. My moods were swinging around like the chimpanzees in your local zoo. Maybe even more accurate would be my moods were going up and down faster than any express elevator I've ever been on and the aftermath of my mood swings was equal to any hurricane that has ever passed through the area. To make it worse, all my anger was directed at my husband. He had a huge bulls-eye on him and I aimed for a perfect score as many times a day as I could. The worst part is that I felt myself verbally attacking the man I love and I couldn't stop myself. He could say, "how are you doing today?" and I would unleash my wrath upon him because he was being condescending or just plain overbearing. The poor man became so afraid to talk that even that began to piss me off. Lucky for my marriage, things have calmed down quit a bit. So for now, we are not headed to divorce, but this journey isn't over yet, so we'll see. The other thing that I seem to worry about more than I ever have is my urine and bowel movements. I never thought I would care this much about how much I peed and what my poop looked like or why I haven't pooped. I feel like a mother changing her child's dippers except the baby is me and the dipper is the toilet. I found myself calling my sister and asking if it's normal that I haven't pooped in five days. Apparently it is. Good to know. Now I can sleep better. It seems like in a week and a half, I have experienced some crazy things. I can't wait to see what other crazy things I experience down the road. No matter what they are, I will try to find the humor in them and share. Good luck to everyone else out there going through this. And, to the people who are just thinking about having this done. It's not easy, but it's not as hard as you might think it is either. Just make sure you find the funny in everything. Because if you can find something to make you laugh at it all, it's much easier to swallow than any crushed up pill you have to take after surgery.

I brought a pair of skinny jeans last week. Size 18. I don't ever remember buying that size before its been so long. When I held them up, I thought, well maybe next month I should be able to fit them. But I tried them on, and they came right up and buttoned. No sucking in. I wanted to cry. Literally. I ran and showed my husband. I'm trying on 16 this week just to see how they would feel. There are days I hate this band and days I'm in love with it. Today, I'm loving it like McDonald's. :wub:

All I have to say is OMG ! I thought I was going to die or fall off the treadmill... I kept seeing posts about this Couch to 5k and I had no idea, so I looked it up today. I found one for the treadmill and printed it out. Got home from work, changed and got on the treadmill with printout in hand. Mind you I have been sprinting every 5 minutes of my mile workouts but that was nothing compared to this 5k workout. Like I said I thought I was going to die or fall off. Now I am smiling as I write this because I just pushed myself to finish. Previously I would of given up because it was too hard. I still can't believe I finished and I will get back on the treadmill on Thursday for workout 2. If you haven't tried or bored then I would recommend. It was a great workout and I sweated my butt off. Now I need to jump in the shower and cook dinner.

So i just recieved a call on Friday 4/20/2012 that I need to come and pick up the machine for my at home sleep study test. I am excited that I am near the end of all my test. Today Tuesday 4/24/2012 I am going to my last nutritional appointment and I am over the top excited. Also I hate my job so I am looking forward to not being at work lol. Anyways I just completed my cardio last week and if I could move this surgery date up I would. What I fear is that even though I have everything in order and Know the LapBand is in my Insurance plan, When will I know if the date was approved. Should I call the surgeon office. That is the only thing that gets me. Other than that I am sooooooo Ready!

Today, I'm buckling down, because I've completely stopped losing. In fact, over the past month, I've gained 0.6 lbs. Now, part of me is celebrating and praising my band that I've ONLY gained about half a pound when I have been doing nothing right and totally slacking off this process of being banded, but the other half of me is kicking itself repeatedly in the head and screaming that I'm a #&*%#$%! idiot for paying thousands of dollars for surgery if I'm not going to follow the program that goes along with it. Remember Logical Me and Emotional Me? Yeah, they're at it again. It's been a rough few weeks, and instead of buckling down and meeting the challenge, I let myself fall back into old habits. My excuses ranged from a deadline for work, through a long-planned (since well before banding) out of town girl's weekend that included much wine and some fabulous food, through the stress of helping my BFF with her wedding (happening in 11 days) prep. The truth is that life is always going to throw stuff like this into my path, and while I may not have dealt with it well this time, that's no reason to give up or to expect to deal with it poorly next time. Every minute is a chance to start over, or to at least get back on track, so that's what I'm going to do. Of course, I could have been a lot worse, and remembering that is helping me pick myself back up. I'm definitely still eating less than I would have pre-band, but I've allowed myself to slack off on paying attention to my physical hunger as opposed to my head hunger, so that's today's number one priority. Along with getting back to drinking my water. All the fundamentals, as it were. I've already made it through breakfast and lunch successfully, counting my chews, spacing out my bites, and taking at least 20 minutes to eat. I also have a plan in place for dinner, so I'm cautiously optimistic. I think the important thing to remember is that I am in control of this process. When I follow the rules, I will lose weight; when I don't, I won't. It's really that simple. The power is in my hands. Time to use it for good instead of evil.

So I had a few minutes to spare and found myself rehashing all the "what if's" of wls. It almost feels like my health and happiness are hinged on this. I guess in a way it is. In my immediate family there is a history of CAD, DM, CVA's, Colon CA, etc. So the reality of it is if I don't lose the weight, the aforementioned is what I have in my future. Not acceptable. I've lost weight a hundred times over only to gain it right back. I don't eat unhealthy foods, I just eat too much. I exercise about 3x's per week, I drink water, limit my intake of sodas and I've never smoked a cigarette. I'm 5'2 and about 206lbs today. My belly is about to burst out of my size 14 jeans that are too small, but I continue to wear them anyway (denial). I am sick of painful joints, back pain, being winded with activity, avoiding social events, sleeping all weekend, urinary incontinence and all the other stuff that goes with being fat. So I was desperate... I am refinancing my first home (2yrs into mortgage) in order to pay for this. My employer has an obesity exclusion on our insurance at work... I expect they'll remove that exclusion as the company grows, but for now I'm on my own. I could make a list a mile long of "what if's" as to why NOT to have surgery, but instead I choose to focus on the "what if's" as to why it's so crucial for me to have surgery. What if I have a heart attack? What if I am dx'd with Diabetes? What if I have a stroke? What if I get cancer? Who'll take care of my son, my mother, my niece, my employees, etc. Who will fight for what's right for the patients I take care of? Who will grow old with my BFF? The thought of all those haunting questions are much scarier to me than the "what if's" that go with surgery. When my daddy went in to have an abdominal aneurysm removed he told a friend of his he'd die without the surgery. His buddy asked him "but what if you die from the surgery?" My daddy (always full of advice) simply told him he at least had to try.... and try he did. I do have some concerns about undergoing major surgery in order to lose weight. It terrifies me. Change is terrifying, but oh so necessary. So why should I have surgery? Physically - I want to be able to go for a walk or run, I want to not have huge "cankles" at the end of the day, I want to not be out of breath coming back from the mailbox, I want to be free of arthritic pain in my hips, I want to put on clothes without a struggle. Emotionally - I want to be proud of who I see in the mirror, I want to get off the vicious cycle of weight gain & depression, I want the inner me to like the outter me. Spiritually - I have no excuse for not going to church, except that I feel so ashamed of the weight I've put on. I know they aren't staring at me, but that is exactly how it feels. I want to be able to go to the altar and worship once again... Financially - I love my job, but since I've put on the weight I've stopped scheduling speaking engagements (something I LOVE), calling on new accounts, visiting old accounts, speaking at meetings, etc. It's almost like I've given up on me. So the more of all that stuff I do, the more money I can make Socially - I have no social life anymore. I hate going to anything where there is a crowd of people. I avoid it all costs. My clothes are too small, I feel horrible and I just wind up miserable. I have the most amazing boyfriend who LOVES to get out and socialize and yet he's stuck with me... at home... every weekend. So there ya go... I don't feel like I really have a choice. It's either another yo-yo round of dieting with impending disappointment from the scales or a true lifestyle change... I'm 40yrs old and I have so much living and loving left to do. This is for a better me so I can be a better mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, girlfriend, boss and hopefully encourage others to do the same. Here's to the living, loving and laughing that is yet to come!

Welcome. This blog is dedicated to all the people out there who didn't take the easy way out. It doesn't matter if you had the bypass, the sleeve, or the lap-band, it's not easy going through all the changes associated with weight loss surgery. This is why I wanted to bring some comedy to the table. I can't really bring anything else as I wouldn't be able to get it down but, laughter makes everything better and I hope this blog makes your experience just a little easier during those tough times. I can't promise everything I type will be funny...hell, I can't even promise a little bit will be funny. All I can promise is that I will be honest, blunt, and sometimes I will look at situations a little differently than most people. My name is Tricia and I have been fat my whole life. Even when I look back at photos of myself where I was "thin", I remember still feeling fat in compassion to my friends. However, I was always active and in shape so I didn't really let being the bigger one in my group bother me. Then when I was 20 years old and in college, I developed really bad back issues. In the past 17 years, I put on over 100lbs, began feeling like a blob, and I felt my self esteem fall drastically. Three years ago, I watched my sister, Cherie, go through gastric bypass surgery and I have to admit, watching her loose the weight made me very happy for her but not so happy with myself. I would watch her sit at family dinners and nibble on very little food and then announce how full she was. I remember thinking that I could never give up enjoying food like she did. But, the more she lost the more I thought about giving everything up just too be thin. Then in December of 2010, my back finally gave out and I had to leave work. This was devastating for me as have always been a worker and the idea of going on disability was heart-wrenching for me. After many doctor's apts, I was told that I needed a new disc in my back but the only way to be able to have one is if I lost a LOT of weight. Apparently, fat people can't get new discs as the disc doesn't seem to set right. Who knew a titanium disc was so picky? So, I began the long process of nutrition classes, Life Skill classes, doctor's apts, and finally surgery. On April 12, 2012 I had Dr. Gail Wynn, from Christiana, De., remove a big portion of my stomach. Since then, I have experienced so many funny, strange, crazy things that I figured it would help if I shares some of them. I don't know if anyone will actually read this Blog, but at least I'm getting my thoughts out there. Hope you all enjoy them.