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I haven't blogged in so long! I am currently almost 4 weeks post op and am getting ready for my first fill on Thursday morning. I have to be at the surgery center at 7:00 for my fill at 7:30....having it done under fluoroscopy. It should take about 5 minutes and I am SO ready for it! I am hungry!!!!! I am trying very hard to follow the rules and so far have been able to do so. Let's see what I've discovered so far in my journey: *my stomach growls a lot *even without fluid, I can't eat as much as before *I need my water *Remembering to take my vitamins is hard to do *my incisions look incredible...i only have 2...one is a tiny one below my breastbone and the other at my belly button *I've been very selective in choosing the people with whom I've shared about having surgery...those people have all been incredibly supportive *I am steadily losing weight...with my home scale showing about 21 pounds as of this morning *I feel incredible and have a lot more energy than I did 21 pounds ago *choosing food at a restaurant is tricky *finding time for exercise is sometimes a challenge while raising 2 boys and teaching *my portion of my hospital bill so far is about $2200.00 (I'm not sure how many more bills need to be processed by BCBS) *the things that I write here on this site have inspired others and that means the world to me And finally....I've learned that for me, this has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I don't regret it at all and pray that my positive experience continues. Sending positive vibes to everyone on this journey!!!! Deana

On my journey the one thing that i can say is that its not my fault that i am loosing weight and your not! I have worked hard to be where i am right now and what have you done? Nothing but put me down! Ok let me explain please i have known lots of people like this, Before when i was big there where people that would talk to me but we were not friends. Now the same people think that its ok to pretend like i dont exist or they will talk bad about me say things like so and so's mom (and point at me) is on drugs and thats why she has lost so much weight. I have even had one parent that wouldnt let her child come and sit with us because of that little remark made by her daughter. Some people are just that dumb and we will just have to learn to deal with dumb people. I try just let it go because me and all the people that matter are happy for me but sometimes it just gets to me and i just want to show them my scars and say no i had WLS dumb A#$ but i dont i just let it go and worry about it later. well again im makeing this short i just wnanted to get that off my chest! have a wonderful day!

Last year my mom and I went on this amazing vacation that had to do with her work. It was fantastic and we've been planning on doing it again next year (it's only held every other year). We were talking about it tonight and how exciting it's going to be. I love hanging out with my mom! One of the things I'm really excited about is how much thinner I'll be because of the surgery. It'll definitely make riding on a plane easier! I am just about the maximum size a person can be and still fit in the waaaay too narrow seat. Yet I do fit with a little room to spare so it made me feel bad when I got on one of my connecting flights and the guy sitting next to me had the "oh hell no that fat chick isn't going to sit next to me" look on his face. He didn't even have the courtesy to at least pretend not to be looking around for another seat. In fact he about bowled me over in his hurry to get away from me. Bastard. Sometimes I wonder how people can be so insensitive. I'm no saint, but I genuinely do not want to hurt people's feelings. It makes me wonder if people who have no care for others were raised in a barn by a flock of feral chickens. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. So my mom and I were talking about this fab vacation we're planning and I can't wait to shop for clothes! Granted, it's 10 months and 3 weeks away (but whose counting?) but I'm daydreaming about wearing a sexy little dress that clings in all the right places. Of a classy little evening bag whose strap stays on my shoulder and some knockout heels that scream "diva on the prowl!". I've already changed so much in the last year. Internally changed, I mean. In fact, last summer was the first summer in almost 10 years that I wore shorts. Crazy, right? Yet I've always been so self-conscious. Not because I'm...er...plumptious, but because I have a lot of scarring on my legs from a run in with a brown recluse spider plus mrsa and two surgeries. I finally decided that my scars show that I still have legs thank god and that I've led an interesting life so screw the stares from people. To my surprise I found that most people just don't care or don't pay attention. It was a huge confidence builder and for those who were rude enough to point my scars out I came up with some real humdinger responses. My favorites included being attacked by rabid fire ants, alien abduction, surgery to make me taller, and a horrific circus accident involving a clown, tiger, and a wheelbarrow. *smirk*. Man, I can't wait to go shopping for fashionable clothing!