Leaderboard

This is my first blog...on any wesbite...so please bare with me.lol I went to a seminar on Monday 3/5/12 and now I want this surgery more than ever.Ive been overweight my entire life and have tried many things.Im ready to work on my body image more than every because I finally finished school and I've landed a good job with great benefits.Now that I have that stress out of my life Im ready to tackle this weight.I know this will be a longggggg process to get everything together but Im ready to make this change. However, I feel like I have a few roadblocks preventing my from laying on that surgery table in a few months. 1.My bmi -My bmi fluctuates between 39-41 every few weeks.I dont have high bp or diabetes. I used to have asthma when I was younger but I haven't had an inhaler in years. My bf thinks I have sleep apnea because of my sleep pattern. I'm afraid if they do do a sleep test and it proves that I don't have it it will lessen my chance of being approved.I don't want to be forced to gain more weight just so I can stay over that 40bmi mark to have no comorbidites as a necessity to be approved. 2.History of weightloss -Ive been a member of the gym for the past 2 years and its easy to verify that(automatic checking deductions). But how can I prove that I been trying other things bc its been so long ago. I cant find reciepts of when I brought slimquick and all those other diets a year and so ago. Do I show him pictures? Do I bring in empty bottles of stuff that Ive taken in the last 6 mos?? How do I know that I have enough proof?? 3.Primary Care physcian -Ive had abt 4 different pcps over the last few years bc it was only recently that I finished school and was able to start working fulltime again and have benefits. I have a brand new pcp that I just made an appt with. Will the barriatric dr not approve me bc I havent been consistant with a pcp bc of my lapse in insurance? I get so upset thinking about all the what-ifs that comes along with this process. My 1st consult isnt until the 29th which seems forever away so Im left with all these thoughts about being rejected. Its so hard to stay positive because I really feel like this is my last chance and if I get denied I dont know what to do. *sighs*

Just wanted to drop a quick note. I got my unfill last monday and so far so good. it takes me about 4-5 hours before i'm "hungry" and my portions are controlled. needless to say I still am figthing that 1-2 last pounds to get to onederland. however i went shopping yesterday because i needed an outfit in a specific color for a womens conference. well i went into a little cheapy store and asked where the size 12's were since i saw the plus sized section started at size 14. she told me in the junior/misses section. I JUST STOOD THERE FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY. ME GET CLOTHES OUT OF THE JUNIOR.MISSES SECTION. my heart started racing. i know this sounds crazy but i was totally freaked out for a minute. I HAVE NEVER BOUGHT CLOTHES ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THE PLUS SIZE SECTION. so when i bought everything from that side of the store it was soooo weird. i was happy but it was so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that i could. i even bought a tank top in a medium from that side of the store. ok just wanted to share that experience right quick. hope all is well with everyone. s/n from our conference. WHATEVER IT IS...LET IT GO!!! peace and blessings jennifer

Click here

Last year my mom and I went on this amazing vacation that had to do with her work. It was fantastic and we've been planning on doing it again next year (it's only held every other year). We were talking about it tonight and how exciting it's going to be. I love hanging out with my mom! One of the things I'm really excited about is how much thinner I'll be because of the surgery. It'll definitely make riding on a plane easier! I am just about the maximum size a person can be and still fit in the waaaay too narrow seat. Yet I do fit with a little room to spare so it made me feel bad when I got on one of my connecting flights and the guy sitting next to me had the "oh hell no that fat chick isn't going to sit next to me" look on his face. He didn't even have the courtesy to at least pretend not to be looking around for another seat. In fact he about bowled me over in his hurry to get away from me. Bastard. Sometimes I wonder how people can be so insensitive. I'm no saint, but I genuinely do not want to hurt people's feelings. It makes me wonder if people who have no care for others were raised in a barn by a flock of feral chickens. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. So my mom and I were talking about this fab vacation we're planning and I can't wait to shop for clothes! Granted, it's 10 months and 3 weeks away (but whose counting?) but I'm daydreaming about wearing a sexy little dress that clings in all the right places. Of a classy little evening bag whose strap stays on my shoulder and some knockout heels that scream "diva on the prowl!". I've already changed so much in the last year. Internally changed, I mean. In fact, last summer was the first summer in almost 10 years that I wore shorts. Crazy, right? Yet I've always been so self-conscious. Not because I'm...er...plumptious, but because I have a lot of scarring on my legs from a run in with a brown recluse spider plus mrsa and two surgeries. I finally decided that my scars show that I still have legs thank god and that I've led an interesting life so screw the stares from people. To my surprise I found that most people just don't care or don't pay attention. It was a huge confidence builder and for those who were rude enough to point my scars out I came up with some real humdinger responses. My favorites included being attacked by rabid fire ants, alien abduction, surgery to make me taller, and a horrific circus accident involving a clown, tiger, and a wheelbarrow. *smirk*. Man, I can't wait to go shopping for fashionable clothing!

I have a test everyday, in every class this coming week! I'm trying to focus on my animal anatomy and physiology class and lab since those are the toughies! but my animal and zoonotic diseases class is hard as well, so is my animal care class! Ha! I should be studying, but i'm a procrastinator! Weight loss is what it is, I need to get to the gym more, i need to introduce a bigger variety of foods to my diet, i need to restart measuring my food instead of eye balling it i need to stop being afraid of certain foods since my unfill will allow them to pass with out pain! I need to do a lot of things!!!!!!! I should think about getting a social life but i have too much to do! and too many distractions already! Ha!