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March 7th, 2012 I have committed and I am on board! I am going to get a Gastric Sleeve and change my life!! Oh my gosh, my life will never be the same...my relationship with food will forever be altered...so many things racing through my brain today. I am excited and scared, joyful, yet apprehensive. The idea is almost surreal in a way. Just thinking a year from now, I am going to be free of this heavy coat I wear. I have been spending my entire evening going through the forum and reading so many stories. Getting so inspired, sometimes scared, but mostly excited about the future. Perhaps it quite normal, but I almost feel a sense of nostalgia to my old friend "food". All the false comfort it provided at time, and oh how my good friend Oreo cookie never once turned his back on me (why the Oreo is a he? Not sure) But, like a bad habit of any other kind, I'm never looking back. I have my eyes set on success and failure in this chapter of my life is no longer an option. I will be strong, I will be confident, I will be healthy, I will live longer and watch my children have their own children one day, I will be beautiful inside and out, I will break the chain of obesity today, starting with me! Oh... and I plan on rocking some really cute boots once I have calves that can fit into them! I am scheduled to meet with the surgeon on March 23rd and the Behaviorist the same day. Oh how I wish I could just leap couple weeks in the future and set the date already. I feel like a kid waiting to go downstairs on Christmas morning. I decided to start this blog, because I figure a change this big in my life needs to go down in history as one of the most "legen"...wait for it..."dary" moments of my life. I want to capture the full spectrum of ups and downs and I hope to bring a little light and humor to a very difficult battle. This battle didn't start today; this will be the victory to a long road I have been traveling on for years. That long road of ups and downs both physically and emotionally. I'm ready to finally step off this crazy roller coaster ride and begin to live again. I once rock climbed....I loved to rock climb. In my 20's I said I would complete a sprint triathlon before I die...Well, I say...I'm not dead yet....Until next time.

Hi Gang. Well I had my first follow up appointment and fill. Received 1cc. To date I have lost a total of 31.9 pounds. Wahoo! I have been diligent in following everything to a "T". Still on pureed foods which has not been bad at all. In fact, I have been able to tolerate more fruits and veggies than ever before. Excercising 5 days a week even if it is just a 45 minute walk outside. The weather has been gorgeous. I am finding that my clothes are quickly becoming too big and I will need to do some shopping before returning to work. My familiy and friends are super supportive and I am so blessed. Life is good.

Thank you to those of you who responded to my last blog. Some very encouraging thoughts. However; I am so scared of failure after I am banded. Everyday (pre-band) I wake up wanting fat and sugar. Does this go away after the band, or will I always be fighting this? To be thin is something I've wanted my whole life and I feel I am inches away from my dream. But am I strong enough? In all other parts of my life I am a rock, but when it comes to food I cave everytime.

Well, here goes, this will be mainly my ramblings about my vs journey. Never done a blog before so this is another first for me. I started my pre-op diet on the 1st March 2012. This time around it doesn't seem so hard. I am not sure if it is because I know what to expect now or because at the end of it I get my op. I have lost another three pounds since starting it, but I know that I may not lose much more as my body retains water (on medication for it) and will only let go every so often. I will lose a few pounds then stay still for ages then eventually when I think it will never happen again I lose a few more! My husband is being truly wonderful and supportive, in fact I have never known him to be this supportive before, but I am loving it. I think the hoops I have had to jump through to get this far have impressed him, and he has decided to be as helpful as possible. I am having my op on the NHS and they are very strict about a ten per cent weight loss and maintaining it before surgery. (We have been married for thirty years and I have been overweight for all of them, but seriously overweight for the last twenty). I am a regular reader and lurker on this board, but have posted now and then. I have found so much useful information and help here, and have researched all I can, that I feel I am ready for this operation and will do everything I can to make it work. I know from reading other people's stories that it will not be a walk in the park, and that I will probably have to work harder than I ever have before, but I am ready for that. I also know that if I am worried, or down, or just wanting to share good news, I will be welcomed with open and non-judgemental arms here. So, my posts may not be educational, erudite or that interesting to anyone else, but I will feel the benefit of unburdening myself and who knows, I may be able to help someone who may have felt what I felt, or will feel what I may feel in the future.

Having re read my first entry, I knew it was too good to be true! Today has been awful, I have felt hungry all day and my stomach has been growling and complaining fit to be tied. I am still sticking to my milk diet, but oh dear me, it has been really hard today. I have a constant headache, and just feel terrible. (including feeling really sorry for myself). I have another 12 days to go and although I know I will do it (I must) it will be a very long 12 days. So what does everybody else do to distract themselves when they feel this way? I have tried some exercise, reading, doing sudoku and crossword puzzles but all my brain wants to think about is food. My husband had a curry tonight as he knew I was struggling and also knows that I cannot stand curry, bless him. His way of helping at the moment is to eat only things I hate. Isn't that sweet of him. Trouble is, I feel so hungry that even his curry looked inviting!!!!!! I know this will pass eventually, but waiting for that to happen is really tough.