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Holly, The quickest way for me to want to prove to someone I can do something is when someone tells me I CAN'T. Let me explain. Two years ago I was scheduled to have 2 knee surgeries. The reason was because I was extremely overweight and I loved to walk. Just like you. I was told I couldn't walk anymore because I'd completely abused my knees to the point of causing arthritis, to try other things... and I myself was only about 36 years old. So here's what I did instead. 1. I cancelled my knee surgeries. 2. I scheduled myself to have my Lap Band removed and replace it with a VSG. 3. I let myself recover slowly but surely. 4. I did other workouts to help me continue to lose more weight. 5. Once I got to a certain weight, I started walking again. 6. I continued to lose, and I continued to walk. 7. I signed up for my first 5K running event. 8. I ran that 5K, from start to finish. Today I have ZERO knee pain, and I didn't even ever need to reschedule my knee surgeries. Do NOT lose hope in that you will never run a 5k, 10k, Half Marathon, or a Marathon. NEVER IS NOT IN YOUR VOCABULARY. Now, dust yourself off and keep doing what I know you can do, and that is keep working to be a better, more fit and healthy you.

I was scared of failing too. I thought, if anyone is going to fail this band, I bet it's me. But then I pulled myself up and thought, stuff this, I am so NOT going to fail this. I just need some help, a little push, to control the hunger, and I'll be fine. And I was. I recently sprung a leak and I have no restriction and I can tell you now, fighting with hunger again is no picnic. The band took away my hunger, and with some readjustments to the way I thought, I tackled the head hunger while the band tackled the physical hunger. It IS easier to work on the head hunger when the physical hunger isn't derailing you. So make the decision - you are NOT going to fail this. Set yourself mini goals that you'd like to achieve. Remind yourself of the prize that awaits you. You can make up your mind to do this. You just have to believe it. And no, I didn't fail. I lost all the weight plus some. And even now, with no restriction, I'm maintaining my weight on my own. If I can do this, someone who was overweight all my adult life, so can you. I'm not special, trust me. So make the decision.

I was also sleeved on the 27th of Feb. in Mexico by Dr. Aceves....he and his team were fabulous...gave us written instruction as to what to eat and when...at 10 days I am just today getting to dring cloudy beverages...man what I would do for an egg! Keep it up, you can do it!...your body knows what it can tollerate and when...I smushed a carrot the other dayin my soup and let a tiny bit go down...seemed fine! but know not to push the envelope...follow the dr. orders. Even if I take to big of drink of water...I sometimes feel I must breate in deep to help it pass thru. Good Luck

AMEN!!!!!!

This blog sounds like me also. I have to convince myself daily that I am not a failure. I actually got banded 3 years ago and fired my surgeon shortly after (poor choice of doctors); however I'm starting over and it feels great. Everyday is one day at a time. I began to blog for the support and day by day, it's getting a little better. I've learned that there is a substitute for every craving, find your fix, you would also be surprised how soon those cravings go away if you just ignore them.

I'm like Cfalbro, wait when did I right this.? It's easy to think this because all our lives we have failed and failed to lose weight the way society dicates we do, and some of us have people in our lives that don't let us forget that we should lose weight and that in itsself is another failure that people can't see us for who we are but look at the weight first. To make the lapband work, you do need to follow the regime set by dr, at least for the first few months and then afterwards, you can start experimenting foods, to learn what you can and cannot tolerate. Sweets is a big addiction. Be careful, be honest and let your nutritionist know so they can help with alternatives. I didn't know this , but it was a big eye opener. Last night my hubby spoke to a co-worker who he knew had the lapband and she knew I had mine. She's had her for 3 years, and recently said on Facebook , lapband failure, all I lost was 20 lbs. Well she didn't mention , that she ate candies all the time, drank shakes, sliders as they call them. She even had her 10cc band filled to 9ccs in effort to lose weight and all she could get down were shakes, not the protein kind, but the cool whip on the top kind , with ice cream. And now she is diagnoised with diabetes and with poor leg circulation because of it. Its not you wanting that stuff its your body. Its not a craving that's gonna be turned off overnight, but its one you have to learn to control. I'm the biggest whiner/baby because I can't eat something anymore, But if I look at the scale my body is following along, its my mind that is kicking and screaming. And I do indulge myself in a bite of pasta here or bread there, but I've gotten to where that's enough. You will be ok, we are rocks in all areas, but sometimes we don't see it because we have been told we were. I wish you the best!

After 2 years 1 month and 89 lbs down. Doc refuses to give me fills also. Portion control and elimation of the above is truly the answer. The exercise you are doing is helping also. My fills cost $200.00. So it is just ok for me. The lapband is only a tool. If you continuously measure your food and don't cheat you will lose more. After a while it slows down. There are some that I know that have no fills at all. 12 lb is great for a month that is 2 lbs a week. I lost 5 lbs in 2 months. Focus on living your life, enjoying it day by day. Enjoy your exercise. Keep having a positive attitude. Find friends who have lapband and brainstorm. Think of the fun you will have watching the clothes you have in the closet go bye bye only to be replace by smaller sizes. DO NOT BE NERVOUS. HAVE GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP EVERY NIGHT.

I revised from my Lap Band to the VSG on 9/15/10. I am doing outstanding and I was able to reach my final goal in just over 10 months. There are so many benefits that I've found regarding having my sleeve rather than my band, but I think the greatest one is the freedom to live my life! No fills/unfills, port pain, stuck food, soft food syndrome, slimies, tight/loose effects.. none of that. Sorry to say but I do NOT miss the lap band. All the best to you!

Holly, Thank you for a great post, and lots of great insight for me to "chew" on! I too have been on the weight loss "roller coaster" most of my life. And I too have experienced relatives (in-laws, friends, family, etc) who wouldn't say a word if I was loosing, but were the first to say something when I gained a couple of pounds. I remember once when I was visiting my in-laws. I was five months pregnant with our third child. My Father-in-Law's sister was visiting. She was a real looker, a knock out for her age (50ish). And had three model perfect looking daughters about my age. I was always so envious of her and her girls. I SO wanted to look that good! I hadn't seen any of them for a while, and she made a BIG deal out of the fact that I had put on "a few pounds". I didn't know what to say! I mean, I thought everyone in the family knew I was pregnant. We had had a really hard time conceiving the first time, and then when we got pregnant two more times (in the space of two years!) everyone inthe family was talking about how fertile I was, and how "didn't we know what was causing this?" (I'm a labor & delivery nurse, so everyone thought it was SO funny when I kept ending up pregnant every year!) At that time, I was 5' 7" and a fairly slim 160 pounds. And for Pete's sake, I was five months pregnant. My doctor had already told me he was worried, as I had only gained three pounds with the pregnancy, and he was concerned about the baby not getting the nutrition it needed (in those days we didn't know sex of the baby). I had been fighting constant nausea throughout the pregnancy, and couldn't eat without throwing up, so I just didn't eat, cause I hate to throw up! And here she is telling me how fat I looked! I was devastated, and finally just left and went home, crying my eyes out! What really frosted me was no one in my husband's family stood up and said "well, Kathy IS pregnant and has to gain a little to take care of the baby." or something to that effect! For years I resented everyone associated with that incident! And it ate me up! Everytime I thought about it, I ate something, sometimes a LOT of somethings! I was going to show her (them)! I finally prayed for the ability to forgive her (and everyone else) for her remarks, and after years of harboring a grudge against her was able to forgive her, for my own sake. (Unfortunately, she was dying by this time, and I couldn't go to her and tell her how hurt I had been and that I had forgiven her.) What I want to know, is why can't we all just love each other for what we are? Why are we so critical of how each other looks, how much they weigh, what they wear, etc? Now that I have had WLS, and am fighting the war, I hope successfully, I am trying to remember all the comments that have hurt me, all the looks I received when I was fatter, all the incidents that caused me pain, and am REALLY trying to forgive each and every person involved. I want to be free of the hurt feelings I have carried around for years and years. I feel that when I remember or experience an event that causes me pain about how I look, I tend to think "I'm going to show them..." and I eat to "show them". I want to be free of this hurtful, harmful behaviour! I want to love and accept each and every person who comes into my life just the way they are! And I want to know that I have done everything within MY power to re-affirm each person's self esteem, thereby re-affirming my own self esteem! And hopefully, as I make progress in my mission, I won't feel the need to turn to food for comfort (or revenge) anymore. I want to be able to stand tall and free and accept myself along with everyone else!

I think I will comment from two different perspectives...if I may. <BR><BR>First from the man perspective. Maybe he is scared...maybe he's worried that once you lose the weight, you won't want to be with him any more. or you start getting more attention from other guys and start looking at the greener pasture...so to speak. I would think that he would do well with some reassurance from you that even after you lose weight, even after you start getting the added attention from others, that you still love him and that will not change. <BR><BR>Ok perspective 2. I'll call this the Man perspective #2 or the child perspective (since there is not a whole lot of difference sometimes). Have you ever had a child act out because they are wanting attention? and any attention, even bad attention is better than no attention in their eyes. Maybe, in his eyes, you have been spending so much time and attention leading up to this surgery that he is feeling left out. Maybe a night out, just the two of you, once a week would help him appreciate the time you spend together more.<BR><BR>Anyway, just a couple of thoughts from a guy who has no idea what you or your husband are going through. Take them for what they are worth. Just remember, they were free.<IMG class=bbc_emoticon alt= src="http://cdn.verticalsleevetalk.com/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif">