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Dear Sandy, Was so interested to read at the end of your post that your husband was not supportive and didn't think you would go through with your surgery. My husband was also not supportive, but did accompany me to Mexico when I had it done. (Our insurance would not cover the cost, so I cashed in one of my retirement 401Ks to cover the cost.) Since my surgery, Bill and I have had increasing problems. We are both working hard to try and work them out, but some days it seems to me that I too married the wrong man. However after 42 years of marriage, I am not ready to let go of what we have! And I have to say, I love him so much more today that the day we married! I always tell him "I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow"! I too get frustrated and sometimes "Blow up" at him. Then a couple of weeks ago, in the midst of one of our fights, Bill told me he was thinking of suicide! REALLY scared me badly! I thought we were making progress, and then wasn't sure we had changed the situation at all. Currently we are talking with our family physician about it, and Bill is considering going on an antidepressant. I really feel that since I have lost 100 pounds, he feels threatened, that I might want out of our marriage. He is also about 100 pounds overweight, and I think he feels that I want someone who is slim and trim now. (So NOT the case! But how we feel doesn't always make sense or follow logic!) I wish I had some "wise words" for you. But all I can say is that I will remember you both in my prayers everyday! I have to say, that in spite of all the fights, problems, words, etc that we have had since my surgery, it is still THE BEST thing I ever did for myself and my health! I wouldn't go back to weighing 258 pounds for anything!!! Thinking of you and sending you all my best!!! Kathy D (alias Helen the Cat)

No worries - with enough fills you will not be able to eat too much - then you will just have to make sure you are not drinking calories in between meals. You'll be ok - and 5/6 pounds a month for a year could get you to 72 pounds in a year and 144 in 2 years - which is PERFECT pacing!

I have a feeling, your blog is good therapy for you. Keep it up.

I think the ugliest chunk of fat that you need to lose is your husband. This journey is difficult enough WITH family support. Keep a stiff upper lip. It sounds like you're tough enough to handle it if you have this long. Best of luck.

My anesthesiologist gave me a cocktail too, said it would make me giggly and loopy, no sooner she put it in my iv I was out. She told hubby its not supoosed to do that. I dry heave most every morning (from both ends hubby says) but I told him, I'd rather get them out (over the sink) then have to deal with them during day. Rest rest rest, girl, I'm 6 weeks out and I still take naps when possible. As hubby says, this was an assault on your body let it heal. Follow your hubby's directions and things should be good!

Dear MrsTeacher, I loved reading your story! And I can SO relate to just where you are! I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was the only one in my family who was overweight. My Dad would sometimes get a little heavy, but as a (former) Marine, he always had the dicipline to "make it right". He would "bear down" and adjust his eating habits, and before you knew it, he was slim and trim again! I never had this kind of will power or whatever you want to call it. (At one time, I was engaged to a Naval officer, and he wanted me to join up also. I was a nurse and could go in as an officer. But I couldn't meet weight requirement, and eventually we broke up. I think my being unable to join the Navy was a big factor in our breakup!) I would go to Weight Watchers (my favorite weight loss solution) and lose 40-50 pounds, and get bored, or lose my motivation, or whatever, and quit. Soon I would have gained 50 or 60 pounds back. Before I knew it, I weighed in at 258! I started investigating weight loss surgeries several years ago, when my cousin had WLS. He is a surgeon and after his surgery, decided to specialize in Weight Loss Surgery. (Unfortunately our insurance would not cover $0.01 of the cost of WLS, so I ending up going to Mexico also and having the surgery there and paying for it myself. Steve [my cousin] offered to do the surgery for free, but I would still have to cover the anesthsia and hospital charges myself, which he said would run close to $20,000!!! So I knew Mexico was for me.) He lost all his excess weight and has been very successful about keeping it off. I finally made a decision to do it myself. (This web site has been a huge encouragement to me, helped me make my decision, choose a surgeon, etc.) I am now almost 9 months post op. I have lost around 100 pounds (depending on the day, some days it is 98 lbs, others it is 101 lbs). I know I look and feel SO much better. Yesterday my husband and I decided to take my Mom out for Sunday dinner. She is 91 and still very healthy. She plays the organ every Sunday for church, leads Bible study at the local nursing home each week, holds a sing along for the nursing home residents weekly, etc. Very active. I worked all night Saturday night, so couldn't get to her church until it was over. I went in as they were dismissing to let her know we were there. I stopped to say "hello" to several of the members who I remembered from when I was a teenager and attended church there. I actually had one of them ask me for some ID! He didn't believe I was who I said I was! He told me he "knew Kathleen" and she was much heavier than the person standing in front of him! Wow! What a great feeling! I was so thrilled! I have to say, my WLS was THE BEST decision I have ever made for my health and well being! I am off of my BP medicine, my blood sugar medicine, my cholesterol meds, my anti-inflammatories and my allergy meds (I don't know what is up with that one! Why being fat made my allergies so bad? Who knows?) So keep telling yourself you are choosing to be healthier and happier. It was THe BEST decision for me! And keep posting so we all know how you are doing! Best wishes for a successful surgery!!! Kathy D (alias Helen the Cat)

Well sis... it can only get better... I'm glad you're home. Loved having you here and able to pamper you for a bit...

Just hang in there as a mom i know how you feel, this is about you, stick with it, do this for YOU! Don't give up!