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Ok, so It's been several months since I've visited my page or been compliant with my lap-band. I've been so off track since December. I had lost 83 pounds in 8 months and since December I've gained 27 pounds back! I've been pigging out on slidder foods or "eating around the band" as my surgeon calls it. I haven't even been to see my surgeon since October because I'm embarrassed about my weight gain. I feel like a complete looser and physically feel worse than when I weighed 323 pounds. I'm not sure how to start over or get serious again but I'm definitely going to try. I need to place my focus back on me. I have a treadmill, elipictal, free weights and an exercise bike in the guest room collecting dust! I'm making a public and personal committment right now to get back to being on track. If anyone has experienced anyone like this or has any suggestions on assisting me in my struggle please don't hesitate to comment or e-mail me.

I clean when I get nervous or frustrated and right now my house is spotless, my plants have been replanted, and if it wasn't so cold out, the cars would be washed. I have ONE more day and a wake up before my surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited, but I'm really nervous because even though I lost on the pre-op diet, I'm still dangerously close to my cut-off. My body is just rebellious! As soon as she figures out I'm on some kind of diet, she shuts down all weight loss. Story of my life! Meanwhile, going to find something else to clean.

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a ...single word we said. Yesterday is gone. The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow. With its possible adversities, Its burdens, Its large promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.This just leaves only one day . . . Today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore live but one day at a time. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34