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Good morning my beautiful family , I hope you all have a relaxing, spirit filled day. Take some time to talk with the Lord, he's listening! Spiritual Vitamins: Proverbs 16:9 "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps!" Vitamin S: Surrender When we first begin our journey we're excited! We decide the amount of weight we will lose, how long we think it shoulde take us to reach our goals by day, week, and month. We lose wonderfully at first, (hooray) and then we stall. OMG!!! Now what do we do? Do we panic? Stress out? Are we failures? No, we are human!! What we must realize is that we belong to God and he, in his infinite wisdom, will help us get to our goals if we would "surrender" our plans to him. " God intervenes without controlling, and cares without hurting." Be still in your spirit, do not be anxious for anything and watch God move!

One of the most humbling things, I think, that one can experience is for someone to tell you that you've inspired them to do or be something. Wow! What an impact. Having struggled with my weight most of my life, I never really thought about the possibility of being an inspiration to anyone in the area of being healthy. Sure, I try to inspire my son to be a child of God, to work, and go after things the focus on the talents God gave Him. I try to inspire my husband to see the positive side of life and encourage him that he is a good father and husband. I've tried to inspire people in faith and that God is an awesome God. But that's not really happened much in the health arena. Until now. Since I've been posting about my procedure, my success AND my failures on facebook and in my blog at www.chrissyluther.wordpress.com, I've had two people say that to me and have wanted to know more about the surgery, my doctor, the band itself, the diet, the food, excercise...everything. I feel so blessed that God would give me this opportunity to share what I'm experiencing and learning as I go. I understand what these particular people are going through...I've been there. Its not fun. Its not easy. People look at you weird and judge you without ever knowing you...and most times don't take the time to get to know you. I think that's one reason God give us trials to go through. So that from that experience, we can learn, move forward and then on to helping someone else who is going through the same thing; letting His love for that person flow through us, into them. I want to encourage you today, that if you've not made that step to get healthy...branch out and take it now. It doesn't have to be LAP-band. It doesn't have to be surgery at all. It might not even be about losing weight. But trust that God has a solution in mind for you, and He will show if you ask Him to and listen for Him to do so. I'm praying for you. Blessings, ChrissyLu

I've always said, I will not listen to anyone giving me advice who hasn't been through the same journey. I hope that my story will add some credibility to my posts and inspire someone considered WLS. I'm on a quest to find the woman I lost years ago. She's somewhere in this body, I know that, I just haven't seen here in almost a decade. I'm almost 300 pounds on a 5 foot 7 frame. My family medical history is like Wal-Mart, you name it someone has it. I want to break the cycle of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc. . I can't get back the years I've already lost, but I can make the years I have left that much better. I have a carb addiction, disillusion about the amount of food I should be eating, and an emotional eating habit. I was taught as a child to clean my plate, I remember at 8 years old looking forward to going to my grandma's because she always had pound cake made, and dinner consisted of meat, a few veggies, heaping mounds of carbs (rice/potatos) and rolls. 20 Years I've been addicted to carbs. My mom and I could go to a restaurant and finish an entire basket of rolls before our food came and still eat everything on our plate, plus another basket of rolls. Needless to say, I've never had a good example when it came to eating. Fast forward through middle school, when at 5"7 and 130 lbs I was the tallest girl in my entire school. Talk about a complex. At 9 I thought I was fat. Junior high, I'm still tall and muscular but everyone else is catching up. Rumors start that I'm taking steroids. Hence another complex about being "thick" and muscular. High School, the Revolution Years. I rebelled against EVERYTHING! Stress at home= emotional eating. I remember coming home from school and eating half a loaf of bread, toasted with butter and jelly because it made me feel better. Nutrition? What's that? It wasn't taught at our school. Lunch for 4 years, FOUR YEARS, consisted of chili cheese fries with extra cheese and sweet and sour dipping sauce, juice or soda, and some other high carb or fried food. FOUR. YEARS. I do remember a salad but it was far and few in-between. I think back on this and I cringe. What the heck are we doing to our kids??? My saving grace was band. The amount of practice we did counteracted some of the weight gain. I stayed around 180-200 lbs. College, the fittest years of my life. I decided to major in Nutrition, the one thing I had no knowledge of. Freedom to come and go as I pleased means more time in the gym. HBCU band practice consisted of intense PT at 5 am and intense practice from 3-7. I was at my fittest ever. I wouldn't believe it myself if I didn't have pics to prove it. Grad school I continued my good gym habits, but even a nutrition degree can't combat the psychological condition of emotional eating. I started gaining weight. Then I got pregnant. My weight shot up to 230 with the first pregnancy and miscarriage and I gained 20 more from the stress. Pregnant again at 260 with the help of pills. I went up to 285. Lost 20 and have been stuck at 270 for 3 years. This brings us to today. 10 days from VSG surgery and positive about where my life is heading. I'm not one for sharing a lot of personal information, but I will try to keep this "blog" updated as I progress through. I need to learn how to let people in and break down this brick wall that I've built.

You know, relatively. First off, I feel the need to simultaneously thank and apologize to everyone who read through yesterday's bitter, angry rant. I did need to get that off my chest, but now Logical Me has woken up from the knock out punch she took from Emotional Me and is able to add a sliver of rationality to the discussion. Because there IS more to this than calories in and calories out, and I'm not in this for an overnight weight loss. I'm in this for the long haul. I really do appreciate everyone who took the time to point out all the things Emotional Me didn't want to hear, because I do need to remember all that, things like: we're more than an equation, plateaus happen, the band does work, calm down and just keep chugging along. I did need to hear that. I didn't really want to yesterday, but I needed to. One good thing--one really good thing--did come out of yesterday, though. I had my mad on yesterday, and I was plenty bitter. I had more than my share of "to hell with it" thoughts, and in previous years that would have equalled a cheeseburger at the very least. Instead, I just kept plugging. Yeah, I ate a few more calories than the day before, but I tracked them all and I still stayed below 1200, which in bandster hell is still something of a victory. I kept working, and even if I didn't have a smile on my face the whole time, the work is the important part. So today, I woke up and got back to it. Breakfast was a small protein shake and half a banana, and I already have lunch and dinner planned with lean protein and fresh veggies and the knowledge that I can't control the scale, but I can control my own behavior. Thanks to the band, that is. We just need to keep getting to know each other and figuring out how this all works. I think we can do it.

I am happy my LapBand surgery date seems like it's almost here though it is a couple of months away. I went to my consultation on Feb.19th 2012 I believe, but one thing for sure is my surgery date of May 30th 2012. I went to my first nutrition class yesterday 2/23/12 and thought the session was great. Like everything in life this process has obsticles. My problem is JUICE ... whew i said it. I love juice but now I will be drinking only 2 cups a day that are the size of my fist to slowly ween muself. I will be drinking crystal light. I'm fine with whey shakes due to drinking them already. I lay here in my bed thinking about my life before and how i think its gonna be after. I must say, I am excited and not nervous at all. I don't wanna be know as the fat one out of my sisters lol. Anyways I have a psych consult monday and my endoscopy thursday. I hope the process of getting to the surgery day is a smooth transition. My surgeon is great and very informative. This juice thing is complicated but for my health I am ready and willing to kick the habit. I feel like i'm on the journey to a wonderful life change.

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As I type this there are tears in my eyes. I took it upon myself to call my insurance company and found out I was approved and all I can say is "Thank You Lord". Look at the authorization from my insurance, I can't have the surgery until March 22, 2012 and there is a six month window for the procedure. My nerves are running wild right now because now I am afraid but I know the Lord will give me the strength to do this. What a day to remember!!!

Top of the morning family :D Today is a great day to fill yourself with some spiritual vitamins, your body will thank you!! Vitamin T: TRUST Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will direct your path! We must understand that God has all power, and that it is he who sustains our life. He has allowed all of us to be on this journeys path, so we must "Trust" that if "He brought us to it, he will see us through it!"

I haven't posted anything on my blog for a while, because I always have to sit and get my thoughts organized and think about what I want to say. And quite truthfully, I have been to lazy to organize my thoughts and try to put them down in any coherant manner! But today I am taking a few minutes to sit and rest (have been cleaning house and baking all day long, preparing to go to work) and I thought, I really need to write down how I am thinking, doing, feeling, etc. It is Friday, and it is my weekend to work. Have to work tonight at 7:00 PM till 7:30 AM tomorrow morning, and again tomorrow night and Sunday night. So my weekend will be totally taken up with work. Will get off Monday morning at 7:30 AM, and have a couple of days off. I always get frantic before I have to work 3 or 4 nights in a row, trying to get my house clean, my laundry caught up, everything done that I know needs to be done, so that I don't have to worry about it while I am working, and think about getting it done when I get home. (I sleep at the hospital where I work when I work consecutive nights like this weekend. So won't even be home again till sometime Monday morning.) Today I weighed myself and saw that I am still gaining and losing the same 2 or 3 pounds that I have gained and lost a gazillion times since the beginning of December. And I asked myself "WHEN am I going to get serious and really TRY to make it past this stall that I have been in for almost three months now?" It is so easy to try "just a bite" of whatever is handy, or whatever I am baking, etc. And before I know it, I have eaten a couple hundred calories, just "trying a bite"! Today, I have decided that I need to get serious. I know, I have said this before, but today I mean it. I am starting to get concerned that I will never reach goal if I don't REALLY get serious about this whole weight loss thing. I mean, for YEARS and YEARS I have played the weight loss game. Lose a few pounds and then eat something that I know I shouldn't, and start the deadly weight gain again. So today, I went to the (dreaded, filthy, overcluttered, badly needing to be cleaned out) basement, and hauled my treadmill and exercise bike upstairs, where I would have to see them EVERYDAY that I am home, and get on them and do something good for myself! I just last week finished re-painting and decorating our bedroom, and there is now room for both of them in our bedroom. So I am placing them there, and going to MAKE myself get on each of them every day I am here at home. Furthermore, I am also going to start a log, and keep track of how much time I put in on each. I used to have a boss that always said "that which gets measured gets done", meaning the things that are important to you to accomplish need to be measured to make sure you are making progress toward getting them done. So fellow sleevers, wish me well! I need encouragement to get this thing accomplished. I REALLY WANT to make it to goal! I want to make a permanent change in my lifestyle and be healthier and happier. I just need to get off my behind and get serious, and get busy. That's it for today. Hope you all have a great weekend! (P.S. The baking I mentioned is for my daughter. I don't bake much for us anymore, cause I tend to eat it. I made pastries for her card party tonight, but they are ones that don't taste good till after they are baked, so I didn't even try them! Good for me!)