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Ok I had my surgery December 1, 2011....The only people that know are my mom and dad, the ex-co worker that had it done, and moved on ...so there is no real communication anymore, and 2 of my current co-workers who were sworn to secrecy. MY OWN HUSBAND DOES NOT KNOW.... Either way I was talking to a coworker about the light progresso soup that I had been eating, and she said oh I tried that I didnt like it because it was bland....and I said thats why its a light soup because it has low sodium and low calories. And then I said "take a look, cant you tell it's workin for me" And out of no where another co-worker turned around and said really loud "Come on Dee, the whole office knows you had gastric bypass" .......Which she was wrong I had lap-band thank you very much! I was taken by surprise and at 33 years old I wanted to run out of the office crying, but I stood there and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "No I didn't" She turned back around with a smirk on her face and I said one or two more things about my eating like the crystal light flavors that i like to add into my water, then I scurried back to my lab area. How did she know, did one of my favorite co-workers spill the beans? I was horrified!! A Little history: I work in a medical office with 2 female doctors and 5 other females EVERYONE of them is on this freakin Paleo diet as of November 2011 They are all caucasian and thin. I did not want to be the only large and black female in the office, ....dont get me wrong i did this for me and so that i can have energy for my 1 and 2 year old sons and my full time job and my husband... but walking into work everyday hearing about this freakin paleo diet and watchin them jump on and off the scale was making me sick...i wanted to show them that I could lose weight too, and mabey faster than them! I guess the jokes on me...I really dont want to go into work tommorow ....how could she be so mean? This really changes the way I feel about her as a person.

SOMEONE PINCH ME CUZ I MUST BE DREAMIN!!!!! I just don't know how i lived as a fat kid for so long... I have energy like you wouldn't believe!!!!! I am at the gym every other day and the days that im not at the gym im running outside! My only day off is Sunday and i dont mind it one bit! I honestly thought that me being in ONEderland was a fluke, but nope its hear to stay.. as of this morning I am officially 195.6.... HECK TO THE FREAKING YEAH!!!!!!! Ok so that was my happy dance..lol. These past few weeks I have been on one hell of a ride. gaining, losing, pretend stalling, lol.. but i know no matter what is goin on that week that the weight will countinue to fall off because im workin hard to make that happen! Im not perfect. I eat things i probably shouldn't, i drink alcohol, and in all reality, i need to stop that. But the best part of all this is i know i screw up sometimes, but that i do my best to get back on track. Before I had the mind set oh i screwed up well i guess i will wallow in my guilt and keep messing up.. now i just go well hell it happens now let me fix it! I know i normally start with stats but i just wanted to get my piece in. so here are the stats 5'7" HW: 265 CW: 195.6 GW: 150 and of course this blog wouldn't be complete without pics..lol the first pic..i wore that dress back in 2008 when my best friend got married.. it fits again! the second pic-- i know you have seen the dress before but that was me on valentines day!

Well, I returned to work, arrived early - 7 AM, since I had insomnia last night - I figured I'd make the most of the day. After I got my walk on with the love of my life. My hubbage has been super awesome supportive. I am blessed. I keep my big GNC MIO flavored water at my side where ever I go, and I have a bottle of Isopure on my desk. I sip, sip, sip and that does the trick. I had egg-salad at my desk - started at 12, and finished at 3 - I took my sweet time eating bit by bit. I'm so afraid of feeling uncomfortable and visiting up-chuck city at work that I would rather slowly pace myself. Granted, it is HARD AS HELL. The shadow man from stress eater land is lurking over me all the time. It is so wierd to want to eat but to not be hungry. I think that is the biggest challenge for me. Recognizing and listening to my stress triggers and not immediately thinking FOOD. I find so much support, positivity and community on this site - thank you who ever reads and comments, you are lifting my spirit as I work through this life change. Every smiley face is getting a smile right back. I talked to my HR Director, she did not turn over the paperwork to my boss, kept it confidential as requested, fully supported me. (I LOVE WHEN HR DOES WHAT THEY SHOULD). I met with my boss, the good news...well she told me about my "bonus" for the performance year - we did well. However, she "negatively modified" my bonus because she felt I "struggled" this year. Let me define the struggle. An anonymous complaint to HR w/out facts, inuendo and no specific examples to substantiate the claim. I've asked time and again - but to no avail. And I got "dinged" because she did not feel I had as outstanding of a year as my peers. She smiled the whole time she said it. She's inspires me to be a better person. Even though it was a small "ding" - it is the point none the less. I've been working on my Resume - time to be successful somewhere else. Some day. I love my staff, my team, the work I do. It is challenging, fun. I've got AWESOME health bennies. So, I shut up and put up, or I move on. I don't think I could handle moving on so soon. So I will vent, and deal. And wish the flees of a thousand camels infest her pants.

So, I'm now 1 week post "port revision" and feeling wonderful. The incision site had a bruise the size of my hand, which concerned me quite a bit, but after the bruising reached its max, it quickly started turning to yellow. Now it just itches like crazy! I had to take off the steri strips at 1 week because they were itching and irritating my skin, but the incision looks good. I stepped on the scale this morning and was shocked to see that the 5lbs that I had gained, were GONE! YAY!!!! My first fill gave me 6.5 cc in my band (holds 14cc) and I do feel a slight restriction, especially if I dont chew well enough or if its something starchy. In the mornings the band is tighter and I have been sticking to a protein shake for breakfast. By lunch time, I'm STARVING!!! Last night was my neighbors birthday and he invited me to go to dinner with them. So, I ordered a 6oz steak, baked sweet potato, and applesauce. I ate about 2/3 of the sweet potato, most of the applesauce (it was about 1/4 cup), and 1/2 of my steak. This was the first time having steak since I got my band so I was very cautious. I cut the steak into small pieces and chewed really well. I did not have any issues with it getting stuck. I know I ate more than the standard with the band, but I have only had 1 fill so far. I go in on March 5th for my next fill and I hope to have more restriction at that point. I feel great, seeing those 5lbs gone is a great motivator for me. Tonight I am going to my first ever Zumba class with a co-worker. I have NO rythem, so this should be interesting, but Ive heard its so much fun, I cant wait to get out there and shake my bootay, even if I do look like a fool while doing it. haha

day 7 post-op and i am feeling great! today is the first day that i will be home by myself since having surgery (can you say party!). my plans today include a little wii action, completing some homework, reviewing more band materials, trying to eat six small meals, drinking more fluids, and taking a short walk! i took the time yesterday to review some of the materials in my "life after bariatric surgery" notebook that i received from my insurance mandated classes and found that it was really useful. i found a few sample menus, a proposed grocery list, and a breakdown of things that i am able to eat. i found that it was ok for me to have that chicken breast i ate a few days ago as it was pureed and i even made myself some turkey chili yesterday (yum)! i even made myself some decaf pomegranate tea and sipped it most of the day. i found that my protein shakes can be counted in my liquid intake, so i don't feel as bad for not getting down what seems like millions of ounces of water. i still find it difficult to get all the meals in as i am just not hungry, but knowing that i am now able to get my protein from other sources besides shakes has been a great discovery. it seems much more manageable to spread it throughout the day in small meals rather than trying to drink 2-3 shakes. although i do love my shakes and have not grown tired of them yet...i just get full so quickly it takes me hours to get them down... i went for a short walk (don't laugh probably half a mile or less) and was feeling some discomfort afterwards, but took some tylenol and was fine. i was feeling so good yesterday, i decided to do my hair and polish my nails. i am trying to get back to normal as i feel that my life has been consumed with all things band. i am sure that once i return to work my obsession with all things band and weight related will decrease! right! right? i got busted at home yesterday by my mom who called mid-day and heard the kids in the background. it is so hard to keep this from her, but i'm just not ready to tell. i have been able to tell everyone else and feel good about it, but you just don't know my mom...she lives in cali and i'm in ohio so it's easy to conceal it at this point, but she is planning a visit possibly in May and i think i'm going to hold off till then...

My week in pictures. Follow the link--->300 pounds down blog

Wow it has already been 9 weeks and I still marvel at the changes my body is taking on. I weighted in this morning at 280.6 that is so awesome that puts me down 56.4 lbs. WOW. I have lost 23 inches over all and am feeling so wonderful (other than a stupid cold right now). The doctor told me not to except large weight loss numbers now that I am further out but they keep coming off and I am so thankful for that. I am still off all medication until the 16th when I see the heart doctor. I don't feel like I need them anymore but that will be up to him as to weather I get to stay off them. I feel great even while at the gym. So I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying for good news Thursday. I have only one regret in all of this is that my mom can't be here to see it. I wish I would have had the sleeve done years ago it would have saved me so much grief over the past years. Step by Step Day by Day with Jesus is all I can hope for. I thank Him for so much and for making it possible for me to have this surgery. Oh yeah this is such ego boosting for me, I bought a dress last year for Valentines Day through a catalog. When it got here they had sent me a size 22, no way was I going to fit in that thing being at a size 28. I didn't even send it back I was so upset. I just hung it in the deepest corner of my closet and forgot about it. Today looking for something to wear that didn't fall off, lol, I noticed it hiding there, so I took it out and laid it on the bed. Yeah right, I though, that thing is still way to small for me. I kept staring at it. Oh what the heck I tried it on laughing the whole time but slap me silly it fits and fits good. Will wonders never end, I hope not. Have a Happy Valentines Day and Good losing all.

I thought I would blog my journey so others could know what I went through and maybe it will be helpful to someone. Background info: I am 5'4" tall and 43 years old. I was sort of thick in high school. Not fat really but my thighs were a little heavy and I wore a size 9 to 11 jeans. I remember this well. I was a cheerleader and was the biggest one. In college, I lost a lot of weight because I was the mascot of my college and it is really hot in the suit! I was a size 5 then, for about 2 years or so. I joined the army and gained a little weight. I was back in a 9 or 11 for the next couple years. Then I got married and got pregnant. That was the beginning of the end. I gained 80 pounds with him and he was premature! I never lost all the weight. I was 210pounds when he was born. I got back to 175 and stayed there for a year. Then my second pregancy.... gained back to 210 and lost only to 190 the next year. I joined weight watchers in 1995 for the first time. It was an at work program. I lost 12 pounds over the summer and continued to loose til I got to 163. I thought I was done with weight watchers and quit. I was a perfect size 12 for two or three years (continuinig to go to WW later on). I was pretty happy with that. Then came my daughter. I gained back to 215. I lost some of that after her birth but was hovering around 200 for a year or so. I did WW again to try to loose the weight. I got a divorce soon after she was born and I managed to loose back to 170 but that is as far as I got. Then, I slowly gained and was in the 180's for several years. I did WW again and I lost 20 pounds or so and got back to 170. I did this 170 to 190 and back again about 3 more times in 5 years. In 2007, I met my husband and I weighed 170, still at weight watchers. We married in September and you guessed it, back to 190 before the wedding and had to get my dress let out! I felt very frustrated. We wanted to have children so I had a tubal reversal in December of 2007. I took a lot of hormones trying to conceive. I balooned up to 220. I tried WW again and lost 10 or 12 pounds. I couldnt seem to get under 200. Then I had a job transfer and moved all the way to Texas from Alabama. It was a huge stresser on our family to move from a house to an apartment. Nobody was happy about the move. My kids were mad and I couldnt sell our house. It took 9 months and we finally did sell it and buy a nice home here. During all of this, I gained to 235. My highest weight. My husband was not "particularly attracted" to me anymore and it left me in the worse depression I have ever experienced. He was heavy too and so I pointed that out and we both did WW for 6 months or so. He reached his goal in that time, loosing 60 pounds and I lost down to 210. I was depressed because it was just falling off of him and I was eating much less and not loosing very much at all. I gained it all back. We planned a trip to Brazil to see my exchange student get married. I had 6 months to loose some weight. I considered wls then in fall of 2010. I felt I could do the supervised diet and then have surgery when I returned in March. I did the diet and took the HCG and B12 shots every week until we left. I lost 20 pounds. I weighed about 215 when we left. I returned two weeks later at 230. I consulted a surgeon about wls again and I didnt like the staff at that Dr.s office. The medical assistants as they are called could not even spell and could not hold an intelligent conversation so I didnt feel I was in good hands. I gave up on that in May 2011. My husband got a new teaching job in July, his first since being in Texas! We were changing insurance in August. So July 29th, I decided to see if Humana was going to cover wls and what type of diet and stuff was I going to have to do to get it done. I saw that the surgeon my friend recommended to me was having a seminar the next day (Saturday, July 30th) and so I signed up. My husband and I went. We met nice people and I decided I wanted the sleeve. Its the same one I decided on the year before, but didnt follow through on. I made an appointment for Monday, August 1. Humana didnt cover the sleeve unless you have a bmi of 50 and mine was 40.2 so we were going to be self pay. We decided to get it over with before school started and scheduled the surgery for the NEXT Monday at 8 am. Wow! I had a date already! I went on a one week preop diet and lost 9 pounds. I was 225 when I had the surgery. I went back to work the following Monday. I was just weak and tired but not much pain or anything. I had a little trouble getting in the required fluids. Next chapter-- At the begining of my third week post op I developed a kidney stone because I was dehydrated. I was hospitalized for 5 days and had another surgery on my kidney to place a stent. I gained a lot of weight from the fluid they gave me. I got the stent removed last Wednesday and I am finally, at 5 weeks out, starting to feel like my old self again. I started walking this week and doing a little weight training. To date... I have lost 27 pounds. I weighed 206.9 this morning. Thats lower than I have been since the trying to conceive days about 3 or 4 years ago. I am doing better about drinking but have not reached 64 oz on any day yet. So in Summary: I have been a yo-yo dieter for 20 years and havent been under 170 in about 14 years. I want to be my college weight of about 135 pounds, a size 6. I could stand to be 125 but that is getting a little thin for my build. It has been forever but I at least have a reference point. I can visualize that but I still have a hard time believing that any thing will work to get me there. I am scared to believe that this is finally it for me! I hope I can do this and maintain it for my lifetime. At my highest weight, my feet and back ached all the time, I cant tie my shoes right. It hurts to lean over. I am miserably tired and have no energy to do anything. I starting thinking in terms of how far do I have to walk and are there any hills to climb before I would decide If I wanted to go to the zoo or any activity with my family. I was not living. I was slowly dying. I had to make a change for good. I am sorry this story is so long but I wanted to get it all out there. The truth, the facts... my story.