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I'm down over 30 lbs since I started my preop. I feel great about that. I'm eating okay and getting in a walk every day. stitches come out tomorrow. Yay!

I had my surgery January 10th. Moving along quite well, down 23lbs (hoping to be down 25lb by my first fill on Wed!). I've only gone out to a restaurant to eat three times since my surgery. Which by all accounts is a new world recordd according to the "Eat Out to get Fat Association of America". My family & I used to eat out at LEAST 4-5 times a week. I mean, really? Looking back on pre-band behavior is quite alarming and keeps me in check. We've sure as hell saved a lot of money! In all three cases, as we were seated and the friendly waitress would say, "and what can I get you to drink?". As the orders go around the table, I simply say, oh no thanks, I'm not drinking anything......... silence with a stare of disbelief........."Are you SURE"?....Yes, I'm sure, thank you........shrug of shoulders, or looks of "what a crazy lady" are the norm in my world now. That was the one hurdle with getting banded that I thought I would have. I am basically a camel. I would drink at least two pitchers of iced tea with every meal. Now I have to time myself (and I mean I can tell you the SECOND I can drink something). I've already gotten tired of people thinking that this is the most absurd thing not to order a drink with lunch or dinner, so now I order an iced tea if we go out and drink a few sips as I'm ordering. Typically that is enough time of 15 min. before my food gets there. Then I asked for a to-go cup and take it with me to drink as my half hour alarm goes off! Seems to keep the weird looks at bay!

Well I hope all my friends are doing well. I have spent the morning reading and trying to catch up on how everyone is progressing. I noticed I had not posted since November of last year: why, not sure. The holidays came and went with no major issues, I got a GI bug before Christmas and learned I could truly vomit after being banded and it was not a pleasant experience. I learned that even with a band Thanksgiving and Christmas can be very challanging holidays. Who does not enjoy the smell of fresh baked cookies and pies and lets not forget about that wonderful dinner with all the sides. My family was a little disappointed because I chose not to bake, but why tempt a former fat person. I may have learned alot over the past year but I still love food and I love the wonderful traditions that I have enjoyed since I was a child so I decided to let my daughter do the baking for the family, they live 4 and half hours away so they were not in my easy reach. Early in January I started to notice that I was not staying as satisfied between meals, I would eat my portions but I could usually down my portion in about 10 minutes. I knew this was not good but hated the idea of getting a fill. Any of you that have followed my blog know that I have not had but a few fills but my last one resulted in an overfill and an unfill before they got it right. Multiple sticks later I was back in the green zone again. Well I went to see my surgeon the second week of Jan and had my 3rd fill on Jan 30th. What an event, I had an esphogeal spasm when he pulled the fluid out of my band," it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest." But I survived and the past week has been as fun as I remember, that is where Wow, it;s like starting over comes in. My first thought after this fill was, "Why can I not just learn to control my hunger so I don't have to go through this." 48 hours of clear liquids, than advance to soft than to solids. It has taken me 7 days to advance back to solids and it is really small amounts, about 2 ozs every 2-3 hours. I had to go back to the protein drinks to get all my protein in for a few days. I thought I might be too full, but I can pass liquids easily and solids if I chew them well. I think I had been a little more unrestricted than I thought for quite sometime and had become comfortable with managing my portions on my own. I lost 7 lbs last week but have finally leveled off maintained for the past few days, I am gradually adding solids back into my diet and cutting back on the protein drinks. So I guess this past week I have learned that this truly is a life long journey! Never give up and stay true to your self and you will be successful.....................

This weekend was a disaster food wise. But, today is a new day, and I'm just going to get back on the wagon and deal with it. I made the HUGE mistake of weighing myself on Monday and I gained six pounds. Then I realized it's my TOM this week, and I usually gain about 5 pounds from that. But still I'm just annoyed because the old me is still there in my head where I just want to eat everything over and over. I want to be able to enjoy times like these (ie Superbowl Sunday) with my friends, but I think at this point, for this year, any event that involves food I'm just going to have to stay away from until I beat this love I have with food. Anyway, I'm back at work, back to eating healthy again and back to the gym, I'm not giving up!!!!

I have been overweight all my life despite trying several diets and programs i still remain this way. I would always lose a little and then put twice as much back on. I am currently 28 and after have 4 children (one sadly stillborn) i decided to take the plunge. I told my husband on my last attemp at Weight Watchers that if i failed at this then i would have lap band surgery. so i made the appointment and went and met with Dr Greenslade (my surgeon) this was in March 2011 - it was just before this appointment i discovered i was pregnant again. So i met with the surgeon and told him i was pregnant he said i could have the surgery after the baby was born. After a long year of being pregnant and having a baby - I had the surgery when my new baby was 10 weeks old - thank goodness i have a wonderful mother in law, husband and mother who took care of my children and drove me to Brisbane whilst i had the operation and waited over night to take me home again. I honestly didnt think i would of been so sore and out of it but i was and was so thankful i had my mum to hel,p me for the next few days when i got home. Living on liquids for the first two weeks was a real struggle - but i got there in the end. In the first two weeks the biggest struggle was severe shoulder pain and obviously pain in my stomach - but with some strong pain killers i am getting there. Two weeks in i am still having some pain where the portal is and occasionaly in my shoulder when i eat too much but all in all feeling a lot better. I have also lost about 9 - 10 kilos which is a real plus! I am looking forward to what the future will bring. Starting weight - 133.7 kilos - ashamed to say!

So my family wants me to write a cookbook of all of my recipes. I have a lot of custom recipes that they absolutely love. Most of them are ultra healthy but don't taste like it. Even some of my desserts are quite healthy I think I'm going to do it. I might also do a cookbook for small portions with the same recipes and others that i come up with. Might be a lot of fun I love love love to bake - but don't really eat anything I bake, other than a bite or two - then I give it all away. Holidays are fun - I send so much stuff to family and friends. I like the fact that I can still do that - and I'm going to work on altering some of my more...rich recipes to be more healthy and smaller portions.

Time seems to be just meandering along, and in some cases, I think the clock is being moved backwards. I just started on this journey a few months ago and I have my first required class on Wednesday, then psych and nutrition on 2/15, then a support group 3/8, followed by my pre-op class. The most probable month of surgery is in April and I'm already stressed out trying to figure out HOW I'm going to schedule this around work. I'm a cake decorator so I can't be out of work on Easter, and the only other decorator is going on vacation 4/21. So unless the surgeon can do the operation around 4/9 then I might have to wait until MAY to be able to take the 2 weeks he wants off of work. Yes, I know I'm whining and that I should be happy I'm making forward momentum in this and that it's not like I'm not BUSY otherwise....but I'm just frustrated. I also know that I'm putting the cart before the horse and that everything will work out...but I'm just frustrated! It's funny in that I'm pouting about this and feeling so frustrated that I'm almost laughing at MYSELF in how ridiculous I am being. *sigh* As I said before I have a rather long "To Do" list before I have the surgery. Goals that I want to meet before it happens: I'm going to do a 5K Mud Run/Walk with my bff before I have VSG, yoga training, weight lifting, wedding cakes, plan a wedding shower (not mine), etc so it's not like I'm bored. Perhaps I should use this opportunity to work on my patience...read a few books...work on my patience... Did anybody else have Hurry-the-hell-up-gitis that I'm experiencing? What was your way of dealing with it?

I had my second of nine supervised diet visits today. I wanted to go in anyway because I have been having trouble with my feet swelling. Not just regular swelling, but the kind of swelling that makes the skin hurt because it is being pulled so tight. I spent almost all day on the couch Saturday because my feet were so swollen and painful that I could hardly walk. So today I went in with my food and exercise logs to get my visit done and over with. I got on the scale without taking off my shoes or coat, and so the number showed that I had actually gained a little since my last visit. My scale at home says I am holding steady. My doctor looked over my logs and said he was pleased with what I was doing. I told him about the swelling and he poked at my ankles a little bit, then said he would order a blood test to make sure that my kidneys were functioning normally. He also said that my blood pressure was a little high, and that if it was still elevated at my next visit, he would put me on a blood pressure medication and a diuretic. I guess that the elevated blood pressure is both good and bad. Bad because, well, nobody needs high blood pressure. But good because it will probably indicate more of a need to the insurance company for the surgery - another comorbidity. I mentioned to the doctor that my blood pressure is usually normal unless I am in a fair amount of pain, which I was today and have been for the past few days. He agreed but said that he would still put me on the medication if it was still elevated next time. I noticed on the receipt that he also ordered a test for my thyroid hormones, probably because I haven't lost any more weight despite eating less than 2000 calories per day and burning from 300 to 600 per day with exercise (numbers from myfitnesspal.com) So they will call me with the results sometime later this week and we will see what they say. Two down, seven to go. The goal is coming slowly but surely. I think I can, I think I can!