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I can honestly say that yesterday was the worst day food wise since I've gotten the band! I had chips and a slice of pizza. I wanted to cry yesterday. I have been SOOOOO strong! But today is a new day and I'm as focused as ever. I actually lost 1.8 pounds since Saturday but just knowing I gave in to temptation really bothers me. Hitting the gym like a demon today! I go back for my second fill tomorrow. I've lost 11 pounds since my last one, so I think my doctor will be happy with my progress. I'm hoping to be at 200 pounds (preferably 199) by the end of this month. Only 14-15 pounds to go! Ahhh! It's a lot to hope for, but I'm hoping with this fill and me working my butt of at the gym, that it can happen.

I have heard the same harsh comments as many people have...just cut back, exercise, diet, drink more water, eat more veggies...you name it, and I have probably heard it. I didn't choose to be overweight, it just seemed to creep up on me slowly and before I knew it, I weighed 300 pounds...from having kids, from not being active, from being a good cook, from marrying into an Italian family. I had WLS after my husband said to me that he was concerned about me and my health, and that he wanted me to be around so we could enjoy retirement together. He didn't want me to sleep all day and not be able to go for a walk, and mostly he could see how I was depressed from my weight. He is my biggest supporter, and he didn't care how much it would cost, just "get it done". So, after years of yoyo dieting, trying every fad diet in the land, I was banded and I have to say it is the best money I have ever spent. I do not regret it for one moment because you see, I am a food-aholic...just like an alcoholic, but with food. I was not able to help myself. Now, I have learned healthy eating habits and choose the foods that appeal to me. I no longer crave the chips, chocolates, ice cream, cake, cookies, popcorn that used to rule my life. Now when I get a hankering for something to eat, my thoughts turn to protein, veggies and fruit. But I know this would not have been possible without my band. My band is a reminder to me each and every day of the new me, and I am going to be on this wonderful journey forever. So, when someone gives you a bunch of grief because you have decided or did have WLS, tell them to walk a mile in your shoes, and tell them to be sure to climb those stairs 2 or 3 times a day, and then tell them it is not a crime to want something better for yourself, to want to be around to see your kids or grand kids get married, to see them graduate. My bi-weekly trips to my dr's office are fantastic. I get excited to get on the scale and see that it has moved backwards, closer to a new me. The dr is proud of me too, and I can tell you, that goes a long way in my book of "good feelings". So if you are contemplating WLS, I say B-R-A-V-O. YOU GO AN 'GET'ER DONE'. You will probably find the road a little bumpy at times, but so worth it. I LOVE MY BAND Zil Banded 8/19/2011, starting weight, 299, weight loss to date 76#s, and another 65 to go...hoping to make it by 11/1/2012. Oh, BTW, it did take me 5 months to get into the green zone and that was with fills every 2 weeks.

I had my surgery January 10th. Moving along quite well, down 23lbs (hoping to be down 25lb by my first fill on Wed!). I've only gone out to a restaurant to eat three times since my surgery. Which by all accounts is a new world recordd according to the "Eat Out to get Fat Association of America". My family & I used to eat out at LEAST 4-5 times a week. I mean, really? Looking back on pre-band behavior is quite alarming and keeps me in check. We've sure as hell saved a lot of money! In all three cases, as we were seated and the friendly waitress would say, "and what can I get you to drink?". As the orders go around the table, I simply say, oh no thanks, I'm not drinking anything......... silence with a stare of disbelief........."Are you SURE"?....Yes, I'm sure, thank you........shrug of shoulders, or looks of "what a crazy lady" are the norm in my world now. That was the one hurdle with getting banded that I thought I would have. I am basically a camel. I would drink at least two pitchers of iced tea with every meal. Now I have to time myself (and I mean I can tell you the SECOND I can drink something). I've already gotten tired of people thinking that this is the most absurd thing not to order a drink with lunch or dinner, so now I order an iced tea if we go out and drink a few sips as I'm ordering. Typically that is enough time of 15 min. before my food gets there. Then I asked for a to-go cup and take it with me to drink as my half hour alarm goes off! Seems to keep the weird looks at bay!

I just relized that my surgery is in 8 days..... Im so excited and Im ready.. I cant wait to get back to the size I was in my early 20's, ready to go shopping , ready feel better and look better.

I'm down over 30 lbs since I started my preop. I feel great about that. I'm eating okay and getting in a walk every day. stitches come out tomorrow. Yay!

One more day to go…actually I have 19 hours 4 minutes and 29 seconds left. I am surprisingly not worried…probably the calm before the storm. I consider myself lucky. I didn’t have to go on the Optifast meal plan for two weeks like most of my doctor’s patients. I only had to do the liquid diet thing for two days. Yesterday was hard because it was the super bowl. My husband made pizza for himself and the kids while I had a delicious bowl of hot beef broth…yum…not! I am sooo hungry right now. The one thing I didn’t get a chance to eat was a doughnut…I really want a dozen hot krispy kreme doughnuts!!!!!!! SOOOOOO HUNGRY!!!!!! :banghead:

I have heard many people on this board getting so upset about weight gain and lack of weight loss. And don't get me wrong, I completely understand. I have gotten on the scale myself and had that sinking feeling in my stomach when I saw the number. I have wanted to scream and cry when I saw the number go up. Trust me, I understand. But there is something that I was missing, and that was Godly love. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was four years old. I don't remember if I even understood what that meant at the time, but it was what the grown-ups wanted from me, so I did it. I went to church with my mom until my pre-teen years. But then things started to fall apart in our family and we all lost our way. I don't want to get into it all right now, but there were many things that happened that were emotionally painful, and I felt like God had turned his back on me. I felt lost and abandoned. So I gave into the world's way of living, doing basically whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I still felt like I was a good person, and I believed in God, but felt like he didn't want much to do with me. After years of living this way, I noticed that He was showing up in my life more and more. Little things that would happen, little comments that people would make. I felt the need to go back to Him, but I didn't. I thought that after all of the bad things I had done, all the commandments I had broken, that there would never be a church that would accept me. After all, you can't be a Christian without going to church, right? But God kept insisting, kept calling me. Eventually I went out and bought myself a Bible and started to read. It took me a while, but it finally dawned on me that I didn't have to go to church to be a Christian again. I didn't need other people to accept me to be a Christian. I didn't have to be perfect. I didn't have to have a perfect past. Jesus did most of His work among the people who the church considered "undesirable," like prostitutes and tax collectors. If Jesus could accept them and love them, maybe He could love me too. Several months later, I was watching a television show on Daystar network, a Christian station. The woman who was speaking was talking about God's love. She said something that changed the way I looked at myself forever. "God loves you just the way you are," she said (paraphrasing.) "You don't have to lose ten pounds, you don't have to do anything different for him to love you." The woman was Joyce Meyer, and I have watched her regularly ever since. But that message really opened my eyes. It's really true. God loves you exactly the way you are right at this very moment. He loves you just as much as he loves anyone else. You are His child, and he made you knowing that you would be just who you are right now. He knew you would do everything you have ever done, good and bad, and he loved you just the same. When you feel the most unloveable, He still loves you just as much as He ever did. Even if you don't believe in Him, He still loves you! How wonderful! If you take anything at all from this blog, I want you to know that you are loved. You are loved more than you know, more than you could ever believe possible. And this love is not dependent on how much weight you lose, what kind of clothes you wear, or even how you act. You are loved simply because you exist, and you are important simply because you were born. God does not do things by mistake, and He would not waste time creating something that He was not proud of. It is important to take care of your body and make sure that you stay healthy, because our bodies are our home until we are done with our journey on the earth, but your weight is not everything. It is part of you, but not the thing that defines you. Even if you never reach your goal weight, God sees you for the beautiful creation that you are. And I hope that you do too.

If I can lose these 18 pounds I would be 199. I would love to see the 2’s out of my life. I am going to work hard to have these 18 pounds gone before March 1, 2012. That is my goal and I am will meet it. During my progress I have not been making goals on my numbers; but I think it’s going to be important to me some goals here on out. I was happy to lose any weight. LOL I must work harder this month.