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I have heard the same harsh comments as many people have...just cut back, exercise, diet, drink more water, eat more veggies...you name it, and I have probably heard it. I didn't choose to be overweight, it just seemed to creep up on me slowly and before I knew it, I weighed 300 pounds...from having kids, from not being active, from being a good cook, from marrying into an Italian family. I had WLS after my husband said to me that he was concerned about me and my health, and that he wanted me to be around so we could enjoy retirement together. He didn't want me to sleep all day and not be able to go for a walk, and mostly he could see how I was depressed from my weight. He is my biggest supporter, and he didn't care how much it would cost, just "get it done". So, after years of yoyo dieting, trying every fad diet in the land, I was banded and I have to say it is the best money I have ever spent. I do not regret it for one moment because you see, I am a food-aholic...just like an alcoholic, but with food. I was not able to help myself. Now, I have learned healthy eating habits and choose the foods that appeal to me. I no longer crave the chips, chocolates, ice cream, cake, cookies, popcorn that used to rule my life. Now when I get a hankering for something to eat, my thoughts turn to protein, veggies and fruit. But I know this would not have been possible without my band. My band is a reminder to me each and every day of the new me, and I am going to be on this wonderful journey forever. So, when someone gives you a bunch of grief because you have decided or did have WLS, tell them to walk a mile in your shoes, and tell them to be sure to climb those stairs 2 or 3 times a day, and then tell them it is not a crime to want something better for yourself, to want to be around to see your kids or grand kids get married, to see them graduate. My bi-weekly trips to my dr's office are fantastic. I get excited to get on the scale and see that it has moved backwards, closer to a new me. The dr is proud of me too, and I can tell you, that goes a long way in my book of "good feelings". So if you are contemplating WLS, I say B-R-A-V-O. YOU GO AN 'GET'ER DONE'. You will probably find the road a little bumpy at times, but so worth it. I LOVE MY BAND Zil Banded 8/19/2011, starting weight, 299, weight loss to date 76#s, and another 65 to go...hoping to make it by 11/1/2012. Oh, BTW, it did take me 5 months to get into the green zone and that was with fills every 2 weeks.

Working on me.... Its a hard thing to do.. I have spent a lot of my life taking care of people but when it comes time for myself I just cant seem to make the effort. WlS has made me look at myself in a diffent way.. for the frist time I have to put myself frist.. for the frist time I had to think about what I want !! in my life .. who I want in my life.. How I do this??

So I have been on the liquid diet for 9 days now. My surgery is schedule for Monday and I am ready to go. I have come to terms with the fact that having surgery does not mean that I am a failure or that I was not doing what I needed to in the past. It is just another tool available to me to work toward a healthier life. I am blessed with a wonderful support group and am grateful for this blog.

Blending all soups, I've been making really runny protein and greek yogurt shakes 3x a day due to low energy, trying to walk cause know we will drop weight fast. I've learned sadly extra skin may be my friend some of it can be prevented. Even thought most of its gone, how much have you lost ? I haven't thrown up like on the band but have cheated on some nuts. Also know from Band past need to get on daily vitamins, as I was so deficient and now terrified of not getting enough enzymes. I just got really low with the band in my obsession to be thin. Not worth being sick though. Hydration is key to detoxing and flushing toxins from my body, trying to get 64oz water daily, Cutting fresh lemons & limes for water is helping get water in. Glad today was the last dat for cipro, then lots probiotic yogurt . I am so craving potato chips. So we are moving on, I keep reminding myself not to focus on a recent mistake You can't change th e past, but worrying about it can change the future by bringing you down and leaving you in a stressed-out. Let go of anything that has already happened, and concentrate on the road ahead. The horizon is quite bright, but you will only see it if you stop looking down and start looking up. Move forward one step at a time if that's all you can muster, but move forward.

My surgery was on Tuesday. I was supposed to be first of the day, but got pushed back since I was relatively healthy compared to the other cases. So I didn't get out of recovery and into my room until 6pm that night. I had alot of pain that first night, mostly from the gas that they pumped in. But I asked my nurse to help me get up... I think I only walked about 10feet but it really helped loosen everything up and I felt better afterwards. I had my leak test first thing Wednesday morning... I'm convinced that was the WORST part of the whole thing. I still don't know how I managed to NOT vomit! But, it was good news because there were no leaks. When I got back to my room, I have never been so excited to see chicken broth in my whole life! I walked a mile that day (in small increments) and did my one-oz-per-hour. I stayed Wednesday night because I still had drainage from my JP. On Thursday morning the fellow came by and told me I could go home that evening. I told him I didn't care whether I went home or not as long as they took that stupid drain out! I was hard to do anything with that attached! I walked another mile that day and worked my way up to about 4-oz-per-hour. Last night I slept in my own bed, albeit propped up quite a bit. So, my goal for this weekend is to work my way into sleeping flat! I'm still trying to increase my liquid intake, thats been hardest, but I'm "sip, sip, sipping" just like every one says to. I'm glad I took two weeks off work because I definitely could not face going back on Monday!

Nothing much to report back on solids again, had a chobani for b/fast with some granola (1 T) and yogurt covered raisins (1 T), was feeling fine until an hour before I could eat again and my stomach is growling, I know that's not "real" hunger but it's annoying. Wooo talking about "real" hunger, um let's see what have I learned this week: headaches and fatigue for me = hunger. On Tuesday, I had a huge headache, I was still on liquids per mds orders so I thought "well maybe I'm hungry" made myself a protein shake and sure enough voila! Problem solved! Yesterday, I was so tired that I ordered a cup of coffee (something I don't usually do after 4pm) and a packet of veggie cream cheese (since I was still on mushies) at D & D and I don't know if it was the coffee or the cream cheese, but once I got home, I was ready to go kick some @$$ at the gym! So, I think I figured when my stomach is growling, that's just my body being pissed off. When I have headaches or am about to fall asleep standing up, that's hunger. Also I ordered a Keurig for my office, I really do think I need a pep in my step in the afternoon. It's 1:30pm here and I'm yawning! Have a good weekend! I'll be back on Monday!!!

I had some cream of mushroom soup. It was delish! I pureed the hell out of the mushrooms instead of straining them - good choice. A little fiber goes a long way haha. I ate probably 1/2 to 2/3 a cup of soup slowly and stopped when I felt full. I'm quite satisfied with the meal and so far, my tummy has not had a problem with anything I've given it. I even had part of a protein shake today at lunch - It wasn't my favorite thing - but it didn't come back up or even give me any trouble. Just kinda sat a little heavy at first. It became easier as I continued on it.