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Well I'm totally committed (or my husband would say I need to BE committed!) to exercising. I know that the scale staying at 18lbs lost for a week was because I needed to get up and shake what my momma gave me! I am doing Zumba on Tuesdays/Thursdays, but I was searching for something I could do at home. Low and behold, I bought the Just Dance 3 for the Wii. HIGHLY recommend! Everynight when my hubby goes to bed I get my controller strapped on to my wrist and I go to town. I'm sure if anyone was videotaping me I would go viral instantly because I'm sure that is a funny site to see! It actually lets you keep track of your week and your "sweat points". Not sure really what that means, but I'll take it! NSV of the week: Going back to work and having two boxes of Krispy Kreme GLAZED donuts on the table and not even having a desire to eat one!

In 24 hours I'll be banded...queue Europe's "The Final Countdown". I can't believe it's finally here. I remember the first time I seriously considered the band, last May at my son's little league pool party. One of his coaches (whom I considered to be a "guys" guy) told me he'd had the band for about a year and was loving it. Loving the time he was able to be more active in his son's life, the ability to get more out of life, how it brought him closer to his spouse, and I just remember thinking "if I would just swallow my pride and accept I needed help with my weight, I could be a lot happier". You see, my wife was already planning her lap band at this time and I fully supported her decision to get healthy and reclaim her life, but up until this point I had pretty much resigned myself to being a "fat" dad... the one who was a master at the barbecue pit during family cook-outs but who didn't get into the pool with his kids or play catch with them...because it's too hard. I know the band is not a magic wand that fixes all aspects of one's life, but for me most of my unhappiness stemmed from not having the ability to control my own issues with food to the point that it was affecting my relationship with my kids and my wife. Tony is 10, I have 8 years left with him "full time" and only about 3 more until he becomes his own person and starts socializing outside the home, how long before he doesn't want to do anything with me regardless of what I can and can't do physically? Josh is 4, if I keep going the rate I am I will die before I see him turn 18. 2005.. the start of my weight gain. In regards to my marriage, we had our kids very young. We've never had the time to ourselves to really be just a couple. We have always made plans to travel and enjoy each other when the kids are grown, but without a healthier lifestyle what are we going to be able to do? Watch Food network and visit every buffet restaurant in the state? I want more than that! I want us to climb a Mayan Pyramid and see top of the Eiffel Tower. I want to be intimate without fear of throwing out my back. And now here we are, 7 months later. one day away from go time. I have the usual nervousness and apprehension that comes with any procedure, but all in all I am ready. Ready to make the effort to change my life, ready to put my family and my own health as the number one priority in my life. READY. follow my whole blog at http://gerryslapband.blogspot.com/

I am a recovering faker. VSG Ready- I, too, have put on airs in order to keep those at bay who may threaten me in some way. That threat me be emotional, like potential rejection, or mental, like if they find out I am this insecure surely they will stone and flog me. But, I learned something while buying mascara. Want to hear it? Here it goes; Usually I put on my make up, maybe some hair, and then sit in front of the closet for an hour thinking about what to wear and what it will say about me. I don't want to look unprofessional, but I don't want to look out of date, but I don't want to look matronly, but not like a trend follower... and on and on. So one day as I am sitting there going thru my usual, this commercial came on for Falsies Flared Mascara. Now, I don't consider myself a superficial person by any means...but, I do place value on MY OWN outward appearance based on how I feel about ME that day. In particular, I value having a pretty face and nice hair because it distracts ME from the obvious (I won't dignify IT with a name...you know where we are, you know what it is). So, on this day, this commercial came on and I thought "Dang, that stuff gives you 'wings'? I need lash wings!" *sidebar* All of us have SOMETHING we use to distract from SOMETHING ELSE that we don't find desirable about ourselves. Many of us here are natural caregivers, sweet and cheerful people with strong personalities. But, in efforts not to be the "jolly fat girl" or the "Big mean black girl" or the "Mammy, advice giving and enabling black woman" we mask our natural qualities (even if they align with those characters). Sadly, too often we feel so different then we look that we misunderstand or over exaggerate how others see us. Its time for us to see ourselves as we are- Created fearfully and wonderfully by God. So, I go to Walgreen's to buy the stuff that gives you wings and its like 8 or 9 dollars. Being the frugal lady that I am , I had to ponder; "Is this worth 9$?" Then I thought back on all the fast food meals I bought, all the money I spent on clothes that were "slimming" (yea, put on the fat suit then buy clothes that cover it up), and I thought about how messed up I was making my mind. Eat for comfort, lie about who you are and how you feel about it, then hide try to hide it, then be sad and angry about how OTHERS treat you? Psyco big gurl say wha?? To make a long story short, I did get my mascara...but I started putting it on to ENHANCE who I am, not hide me. I do still wear make up and sometimes hair...but because it makes me feel good to put that kind of time in on myself. I am sleeved and losing so I am having an even harder time finding clothes. But, I don't worry out what people think. If I FEEL good, then I'm good, dangit! And you know what else? Sometimes, I AM an angry black women, and sometimes I am in a jolly a$$ mood. So what? I now wake up everyday knowing that I am not perfect and I will say something real stupid today. And I will probably lose my keys, or trip over the corner of a rug...and I'm just fine with that. God didn't make no junk and HE made ME. He loves me unconditionally and knows the number of hairs on my head (and in my weaves)! I honor God by accepting me and accepting that I change daily and it's not always perfection. I hope that all of you feel me when I say- You are HIS and HE ain't make NO JUNK!

Many people have been wondering whether or not these 'fun' games on the Kinect really help with exercising. I can contest that using these outlets to exercise on those days you cannot make it to the gym is essential. For those that are just starting their journey and may be a little 'gym shy', can use a video game forum to get their activity in. Dance Central has a 'workout' option that tracks your time and calories burned. The great thing about it is that if you pause, the calories stop tracking so it seems very accurate. Not only is it fun, but it really is a great exercise tool. Dancing hits all points of your body, arm, legs and abs. You don't even realize how much you are working out until you start sweating. I would suggest that anyone that is looking to increase their activity level or may miss that day at the gym, pop in a video game and get your dance on.

This journey is different for everyone and we all have our individual struggles as well as our individual triumphs. My main reason for lapbanding was basically to lose weight in a healthy, but fairly quick environment. On my own, I quickly lost motivation and patience when the scale didn't move, or didn't move enough and then quickly resorted back into the comfort of food/drink. There has been alot of discussion lately on what is an acceptable or average weight loss per week/per month. I just have to say that 1 lb a week is UNACCEPTABLE to me. My surgeon practices at one of the country's best hospitals and assures me I can do 20-30 lbs a month if I stick to his rules, so I am! I am averaging 5-8 lbs now a week. Since my surgery December 15th, I have lost 27 lbs. Overall loss is 38 lbs. I could have done 1 lb a week without having surgery and spending a small fortune. I know this is a TOOL, but it needs to do its job when I do mine - the perfect partnership. I feel absolutely no restriction right now, so it is pure will-power - something I have never had, but I am not going to risk hurting my lapband by overeating or eating the wrong things. I know in time I will feel the restriction and it will provide some support to my own will power and I can rely on the band a little more each day and not feel I am alone. Please remember, this is a different journey for all of us, but the desired result is the same - a healthier, happier YOU! God Bless and stay the course! Leslie

So Im going to tell you my pleasure of what makes me feel really good i like to sit in the shower sometimes hot sometimes cool and i like to think of the future of how i want my new style to be when im thin how i want my makeup should i save for a boob lift or buy the things i always wanted at the mall or just walking thru the mall without feeling out of place going to a spa gym etc and feeling good craving that cool feeling at the beach having romance feeling cute and fun having energy looking good naked waking up rubbing a flat stomach feeling that fresh breeze after sweating at the gym those are outta thousands of stuff i wanna experience<3

Today is day 3 of my pre-op liquid diet. It's actually going really well. I don't feel hungry, but I do feel kinda weak, like I'm walking around in a cloud. I got dressed and drove to work like a zombie, but I've been worse. I walk in to my office and a co-worker says, "What's the countdown? How many days do you have left." I reply, "It's T-minus-five. But, I'm three days into all liquids." He says, "Wow! Three days? You look great! You should take a picture of yourself today because you're gonna look horrible in about a week!" Wow... thanks so much! I don't know what I'd do without such caring and supportive friends! LOL One day at a time...

One of the most talked about subjects you learn of when going through weight loss counseling is the difference between real (physical) and psychological (head) hunger. What's the difference? "When I'm hungry I'm hungry and that is all that matters"...I know that's how I felt (and occasionally feel), I'm sure many of you feel the same way. Well, it turns out there is a difference, and surprisingly one is much harder to control than the other. Physical hunger ( I associate it with stomach growling) only happens to me about twice a day and it's technically remedied with anything from a piece of fruit to a big glass of water. Honestly, when I reach the point of true physical hunger I don't like eating greasy or fast food because it makes me nauseated (this is the correct way to use this word; read a book!). When I am "head" hungry I find it really hard to think about anything besides eating. At work, school, or home it doesn't really matter what I'm doing or where I'm at all I want to do is eat. Now, does that mean i think about eating 24x7? No. But it means that when that psychological hunger DOES hit (usually for me around 12 noon and 8pm at night) it's really hard to focus on anything else. Now, like many heavy people, I have not always been obese. When I was in shape I still used to have these cravings, everyone does. Except when you are fit, the cravings are called "hankerings" or "in the mood for's". When you are large, the cravings are called "Eternal God Masters of chicken nuggets" (or whatever your poison is.. for me it's the mighty McNugget). Basically the cravings start to run your life. You know you are making bad choices (with the internet access and the focus on our country's health, how can you be totally oblivious to what is healthy and what isn't?) yet you make them anyways because the pleasure your brain has associated with the flavors of fast food, junk food, cola, etc. is so powerful you simply don't care. * All that being said, today was a small victory for me and a big one for will power and truth/justice/americanwaysoforthandsoon.. As you can see by my weight loss calculator I am down 12 lbs. since starting my pre-op diet. Not bad at all. I've also been hitting the gym lately trying to gear myself up for daily life after the surgery. So today at work I decided walk across the street to Wendy's to get lunch. I don't know if it was the good weather, the confidence from losing weight or the desire to not lose my parking space... but I was determined to walk. The walk itself was easy enough, but the funny thing is ... when I left the building I was going on full head hunger... I was still feeling good from my Atkins shake this morning and more than anything just wanted something to get the NutraSweet taste out of my mouth. By the time I returned from Wendy's with my Chicken Caesar salad in tow... I was starving (physically). The simple act of walking 1/2 a mile to the store and back had built up enough physical hunger for me to actually need to eat. Score one for my side! I can't describe how good I felt upon return. Instead of sitting down with my usual baconator and a side of shame, I sat down with my salad and a side of triumph. * Now I must say as a disclaimer for now and in all future blogs that even though I say "you" I really mean "me". I can only speak for myself... I know plenty of folks are born with genetics that contribute to being large, or thyroid problems, etc. but for me... its pretty much just a love of crappy (albeit delicious food). Follow me here: http://gerryslapband.blogspot.com/

Saw the nutritionist yesterday and had the pysch eval today. Saw the doctor afterwards and my last pre-op step was to set the endoscopy apt, which is for feb 7. I'm not nervous yet, I'm very excited! I know that may change but for now I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.