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Tip of the day: When you want to binge and don't care what goes in your mouth. Just remember how far you have worked to get where you are. Feeling this way? Change your attitude... Do a positive thing for yourself. Take a walk, read a book, do some crafts. Get your mind off the food and back on track. Remember a moment on your lips is forever on your hips!

Hello Blog Land! I've missed you so. Its been weeks since my last confession blog. Before Christmas I weighed in at 178lbs. This morning I weighed in at 177.2lbs. Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year bandiversary. It has been tough but easy, emotional but encouraging and certainly up and down, roundabout journey! I wouldn't change a thing. I am satisfied with my progress with eating and exercising. Coming to terms with the denial that I was living in has been tough but if there is anyway to sum it up: **** happened - not happens. I am in control of me and my choices. Bring it on! Maybe in 2012 I will hit the 100lbs lost mark. If not, I am cool with whatever happens as long as I continue to challenge myself, get more fit and never look back! I have attempted to blog a few times over the last few weeks so bear with me as I compile them all here and start with a clean new slate in 2012 and start my 2nd year of being banded. Things over the Holidays were a little nutty but fantastic nonetheless. I spent time with family and had the Mother-In-Law staying with us for a few weeks too. All in all I have to say that I did pretty good over the holidays. New Years Day breakfast consisted of nachos that I didn't fire off for the party we hosted for our friends and framily but that was a small blip in the radar. I did have a few too many drinks the one night but kept the snacking and drinking to a minimal over the Holidays. The biggest difference for me was the way I piled my plate at the festive meals. All of what seemed like 10 of them! I did take more then I intended to eat. I would say that on average, my meals were less than half of the size that they were last year. I was left feeling like I didn't really put in allot of effort to make this happen and totally reassured that I have made some concrete lifestyle changes that really are just natural to me now. It has gotten easier and I hope that it will continue to happen until I get to where I want to be. I still have no restriction. AWKWARD FRAMILY PHOTOS! I love my besties! Looking back on 2011, I really am so proud of the NSV's and the SV's! I started 2011 @ 222lbs. In all, I lost 44lbs last year and 85lbs in total. Here are some of my fav NSV's from 2011. I can sit comfortably in a plane seat with a dangling seat-belt! Usually every time we go to Newfoundland, I like to take a hike at Cape Spear. The furthest Eastern Part of North America. Many times I would stop halfway to the lighthouse to catch my breathe or baby my burning legs from the hike. This year, I jogged part way up and finished the rest of the hike without a single wheeze! I felt like I could have easily done it again... and again. lol I have gone from a size 20 jean to a 12/10. I finally got my vessel (body) gussied up with a completed ladies of the family tribute tattoo on my arm. I will actually wear sleeveless tops these days despite my wrinkly batwings. I can hold a plank for 60 seconds! A long time goal that I met in 2011. I can shop for clothing at the regular size stores. H&M, Espirit, MEXX... A far cry from the frumpy florals at Addition Elle and Penningtons! I bought a pair of mid-calf high boots. My calves have NEVER fit in to cute boots! Still not in to the knee high boots yet but I feel that they lead people to believe that you have some sass. I am not ready to let people in on that yet. lol. Ladies who rock them, I envy you! They look great with your cute little jeans all tucked in! A goal for 2012. So much to be thankful for! 2011 brought me a husband! Okay fine, I've had him for 8 years but now that it is official, there is a sort of "honeymoon" stage that came along with the wedding. The "honeymoon" stage in my world is coming home to an empty dishwasher and sometimes even a crumbless counter. WOOT WOOT! I finally am feeling like our home is homey. When we moved in to the 4 bedroom house from the 600 sq/ft condo it was really empty and echoey here. It felt cold and sanitary. ICK. I painted the kitchen last January and with some additions of plants, art and us finally adding some shelves and accessories to the bedroom, I am pretty darn comfy here! I did attempt to get back to blogging last week and started with this: 2012 has started on a rough note. My 90 year old Grandfather had his leg amputated on December 30th due to complications from diabetes. He has been fighting this disease and the associated complications for many many years. His fight was a major reason that I started my WL journey. Because of his age he was not put out. He was given an epidural of sorts and remained awake while they removed his right leg just below the knee. Our entire family packed the hospital waiting room and banded together to support him and the tough decision that he had made. We waited a couple of hours and were met by the surgeon to inform us that he had made it through surgery like a champion! We all took turns going on to visit him after the surgery and when my sister and I got our chance we didn't hold back. My Grandfather is a sweet, gentle giant. I swear, his index finger is the size of a banana! Okay, not that big... and really he isn't that tall when I come to think of it. Regardless, he always seemed like a giant to me. Anyway, he is TOUGH. Tough as nails. After surgery, my sister and I wanted to congratulate him for being so tough. He tried to argue with us as he cried, mourning the loss of his leg and the normal appearance that he has had for 90 years. All I could tell him was that after being married to my Grandmother for 65 years, he is tough! He laughed. We hugged him and told him how proud of him we were and left the hospital feeling confident that he would pull through. 2 days later, pneumonia set in. His speech started to slur. We suspected mini strokes that were never confirmed. Slowly, as they removed a direct line for pain from his stump and pushed med after med to deal with constipation, pain and infection his health declined. Yesterday morning, after spending the extremely rough night with him (my sobbing-self and incredible Aunt stayed all night) my Grandmother came to spend the day (like everyday since) beside his bed holding his hand. All she could do yesterday was hold him and cry. Through my own tears, I tried to picture them on their wedding day. Holding each others same hands as they were now. Did they ever think about the things that they would go through together. Did they know that they would face challenges like this? Did my Grandmother know that she would have to live without him one day? Or did they both deny it to themselves? Now, being newly married myself, I got home late from a work meeting last night and crawled in to bed with the fast asleep Mister. All I could think about when I looked at him was a whirl of life. What would it look like for us and would I be holding his hand like my Grandmother held my Grandfathers this morning one day? Would I have to live without him or vice versa one day? Without a doubt, I know that my Mister is the one for me and that all of these things, good and bad, are coming for us. I am not afraid... as long as I can hold his hand. Grandpa has gone back to our hometown hospital late last night via ambulance. He has been unresponsive since he arrived but he is comfortably resting and not in pain. A few hours after I wrote this I closed it and headed off to an evening meeting. While I was at work the hubby got the call from my Dad. He waited for me to get settled in at home and to have a little snuggle session (I had been go go go without time for this fav pastime with my man over the last few weeks) before he told me that my Grandfather had passed away. I was relieved. I was sad. I was worried about my Grandmother and my Dad and the rest of our family that depended on our patriarch to bond the family with a gentle noble mischievous hand. We will miss him terribly. Celebrating the 64th Anniversary - May 2011 I am promising myself for 2012 that I will not put off until tomorrow, what can be done today (except for work). I will try to do all of the things that I want to do and do nothing that I don't want to do. I will try to keep the big picture in my mind through all that I do. I will continue on with my healthy lifestyle. Mind, Body and Spirit. Love life peeps!

I have hit below 300 for the first time in a year and half! Just wanted to share my milestone!

After a week of anxiety and wanting to eat everything I could find (good thing I didn't find anything!), I had my first fill yesterday. So excited to report that my total weight loss is 34 lbs - weight loss from date of operation 22 lbs! I am excited, but I have to make a confession. I haven't given up my wine or bloody mary's - even though I have been drinking SO much less, I haven't cut it completely out. My nurse didn't seem upset about it, but reminded me of the calories in alcohol and to add what I drink to my total calories for the day. I haven't seen anyone on this site ever talk about alcohol.... Well, here I am. I can do without the chocolate, anything sweet, but don't take my wine! LOL I have found a life-saver in food tracking and excercise tracking - MYFITNESSPAL.com There are even apps for every type of phone. I found it very enlightening (however, not surprising) that I was under-counting my calories, so when the tracker showed me the actual calories, carbs, protein and sodium, I made immediate adjustments. The best recommendation on protein shakes I have is make sure you have some everyday! Now that I can eat more, I have cut my protein shake serving down to 8 ounces - which is 23 g protein, 1 carb, no sugar and 95 calories! Doesn't get better than that! It is SMOOTHIE KING'S GLADIATOR chocolate protein powder. Mix it with water. I feel hopeful, excited, nervous and grateful for my new journey with my new best friend, her name is Lapsa. Take care all and I look foward to keeping up on the site - it is most encouraging and educational! Leslie

Alright so now I am officially a blogger, right? First things first, I will map out my journey; October 5, 2011- I attended a seminar about weight loss surgeries at KC Bariatric (which is far off in Lenexa Kansas) October 20, 2011-I had my first meeting with Dr. Kowalski (that's my surgeon) October 25,2011- I had my EGD which was required pre op November 2, 2011- I went to the nutrition class, the physical therapist, and took the post op education class November 7, 2011- I had my physical which was also required November 18, 2011- I paid my program fee to the surgery center (skipped the cable bill, too) November 19, 2011- I had my psych eval...they found out that I am only a little nuts November 21, 2011- I had my f/u psych consultation where the previous findings were confirmed December 12, 2011- I got insurance approval (and I was glad it was on the phone because I would have kissed the lady December 14, 2011- Started my pre op hell diet December 18, 2011- Had my pre op labs done December 19, 2011- Met with Dr. K a second time (decided that I will call him Dr. K because he will be looking all up in my guts, may as well be friends!) December 26, 2011- HAD MY SLEEVE INSTALLED That's it. Here I am January, 20, 2012 36 pounds lighter and ready to blog about it!

Can't believe it's been almost 4 weeks (23 days) since my sleeve surgery. Went to heart doctor Tuesday and things are looking good weighted in at 305 and blood pressure was 130/82 such big improvements since my last appointment. (clearance for surgery weight 337 and BP 158/96) Today 302 (35lbs gone) and BP 129/76 Yeah! I still am off all my medications, tried to take BP pills and Plavix but they dropped my blood pressure way to low, so, doctor said just keep eye on it and if it starts going back up again restart my pills and come see him. (so happy) I hate pills. My husband and I have been cleaning the garage out so that he can put my "OLD" weight equipment up and hang the punching bag, am looking forward to exercising haven't been able to for over 10 years now and am so thrilled. I am moving on from just walking the block, maybe hubby will work out with me (I hope) again. Never thought I would use the "OLD" equipment ever again glad I didn't get rid of it. My moods have changed for the better since surgery and I have found my voice again no more sitting on the side lines and taking everyone's crap. I can do THIS and NO ONE is going to tell me anything different. I had no choice in having the surgery if I wanted to live, it was surgery or death and I chose surgery and life. I have no regrets and am looking forward to a happier, healthier life ahead. Bad mojo out and good mojo in. Step by Step Day by Day with Jesus is all I pray for.

Hi Everyone~ I am a newbie to this site. To tell a little (or a lot) about my self. I'm 33 years old, I have a BMI of about 41. I'm getting sleeved in Mexico by Dr. Kelly (Feb. 4th). I'm getting excited as it's getting closer. I talked to my "sleeve sister" today, she sounded like a sweetheart. She made me feel more comfortable about my decision to get this done. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I wasn't always "fat", but very aware that I couldnt eat like everyone else. I've always been aware with my dads struggle with his weight and I don't want to be like that. I haven't told anyone except my husband that i'm getting this done. I just feel like if I tell people they'll think i'm taking the easy way out. And I think for most if not all of us getting this done, that's not true.

I ran accross this dessert recipe that i'd like to try on special ocassion and like to share with you all... Serving size: ½ cup Recipe makes: 20 Ingredients 1 sugar-free angel food cake 2 packages sugar-free banana instant pudding mix 3 ½ cups skim or 1% milk 15 ounces low-fat ricotta cheese 1 ½ cups sliced strawberries, divided 1 medium banana, sliced thinly 1 (8 ounce) can pineapple tidbits, drained 8 ounces sugar-free whipped topping, thawed 1 Tablespoon sugar-free chocolate syrup Directions 1.) Using your hands, tear a part half of the angel food cake into bite-sized chunks and place in the bottom of a trifle bowl (a 9x13 inch glass pan would also work!) Set aside. 2.) In a medium bowl, beat together pudding mixes and milk until mixture is thick and pudding-like. Add ricotta cheese and continue beating until evenly mixed. Layer half of the pudding mixture on top of the angel food cake chunks. 3.) Now you will simply be building layers: take 1 cup of the sliced strawberries and layer them on top of the pudding mixture. Then, add a thin layer of the whipped topping onto the strawberries. Next, make a full layer using all of the banana slices. The next layer will be the second half of angel food cake. Tear into bite-sized chunks and layer on top of the banana slices. Smooth down the rest of the pudding, and lay all of the pineapple tidbits on top. 4.) Finally, cover the pineapple tidbits with the rest of the whipped topping. Put the last ½ cup of slice strawberries on top in whatever decorative fashion you desire (or, none at all!) Drizzle on the sugar-free chocolate syrup, and you have a masterpiece!

Good Morning Band mates, I am feeling good this morning. Just completed my workout for the morning and I am ready to tackle today's journey. Something very interesting happened to me this morning. I was coming out the gym and bumped into a lady that I use to work with Nora. Now Nora was the weight watchers queen, she could tell you how many points something was just by looking at it. I am sitting here laughing because as much as she was aware of how many points things were she was big as a house. I couldn't understand why a person with her knowledge was still so big. The first thing she said to me was wow you look good. I said thank you and was open about having had WLS. I wonder why sometimes people feel they need to keep what they have done a secret. I think that if I can help another person just by telling them my story and showing them the results of what I did, then why not. I think we make things bigger then they really need to be. I think that we forget the celebrate the small things and allow ourselves to enjoy things for what they are and not what they could have been. I think that we get so caught up with the numbers that we allow the numbers to determine how we are going to feel. I have a week that I didn't lose anything, and yes it can be disappointing and you feel sad but when I look at the scale and I don't see 279 I am still happy. You have to train yourself to celebrate the simple things. Remove anything negative you may have about this journey and replace it with positive thinking. I worked out today, I celebrate that I am able to do 60 minutes on a treadmill. I couldn't have done that before. I celebrate the small thing of putting on a size 16 and not having to wear a size 22. We sometimes forget how far we have come in the journey. You will only be defeated when you allow yourself to be defeated. I challenge anyone on the blogs that get upset when they don't lose to look back on what you did for the week and how did you eat? did you work out? are you drinking enough water? all these things are things you have to look and and think about what you need to do to make things better for yourself. Lap band is a tool, it is not the deciding factor to your life.

It's been 15 months since I was banded. Looking back over this entire process is somewhat of a fog. My feelings are totally different today than I remember them being initially. I was so very excited and I didn't know what to expect from the band or my “body”. I had joined this site almost a year before having my surgery so I was very familiar with the way some things were going to be. However, until you actually cross this bridge for yourself- no one else's experiences can compare to your own! Learning to live with this band and how it's going to work for you is a total different story. There were a lot of trail and errors for me and it still continues to be some rough spots from day to day. My whole entire life, I have had issues with food. I have good restriction now, but I still have to monitor my desire to over eat. When I don't listen to my band, and I eat one bite too many -I do pay for it several hours later. I experience this awful pain that you just can't imagine. I can say- that I am learning to pay attention when enough is enough for me. Really, having this band is not a quick fix to anyone's weight lost problems, but it's an aid to make your weight lost more achievable and to feel full a lot quicker or more satisfied. The key to this band is not to fell full but satisfied. There is a lot of work on my part and self discipline with right food choices. It's very easy to fill up on high calorie foods (that goes down really easy) then wonder why you are not losing weight. Unfortunately, I have been there and done that as well. I think it's really helpful to let others know that bad choices are made with this band, but you can recover from them and still be successful with your weight lost. Yes, I am a slow loser and a lot of it is because of my own choices, but I have changed a lot. I have also lost a lot of weight as well! I have learned to be accountable for my own actions and not blame everything in the blue sky for me being over weight. I've learned that working out is not a punishment, but being good to myself and overall all fitness! Most of all- I love all of the positive attention from other people. Since I am 6"1 people think I have lost a whole lot more weight than I actually have. Yes- I love the new me. I always remember why I did this and I remind myself that anything worth having is worth working toward! My beginning size was 24-26 and today I can wear a size 16-18. Yesterday was my 9th wedding anniversary and my husband purchased me a pant suit from NY & Company size 16! I was tickled pink. I've always been embarrassed for my husband to buy clothes for me due to my size, but yesterday was a totally new and different feeling! Yes- I love it!