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It seems like just yesterday I stumbled upon vertical sleeve talk and I became obsessed. I read all the blogs and looked at all the pics. Finally it was my time to have my surgery and it all became real. I thank those who prayed for me and those who emailed me to checkup on me. I am proud to say after five months that I am now 153lbs and I was 211lbs at the start of my journey. I know 211lbs may not seem like much but I am only 4"11 tall. The sleeve has transformed me from a size 18 to a size 10 and I feel great. Now I won't say it has all been peaches and ice cream cause that would be a lie. I have horrible heart burn after eating spicy food, I still can't drink alot at a time, and I wasn't prepared for the rapid diminishing of clothes in my closet that fit. I literally stood in my closet the other day and wanted to cry cause I couldn't find anything to wear to work. I didn't know if they were tears of joy or frustration. I can say one thing and that is I wouldn't change anything for the world. I often think when I was young I took my weight for granted and I treated my stomach like a trash can but now that i have been given a second chance, I think twice before I eat something. To all of those who are contemplating it Like Nike says "JUST DO IT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am proud to report that as of today, I am now 40 pounds down since November 11th!! I couldn't be happier! I have had another stuck episode since my last post. It was with grilled chicken!! I'm so confused :/ That was on Saturday and I've been good so far. It's just completely random. It was around dinner time. I barely ate a quarter of my food and I ate slowly and chewed well. I guess if it happens again, I'll mention it to my doctor. It's just so hard for me to pin point what's causing the problem as I have yet to note a pattern. Life is going so well and I'm extremely happy. Feeling really blessed. I get comments from everyone, if not on the weight I've lost, than on how much more confident I seem. I am a huge advocate of the lapband now!!

So, in an email yesterday my bandster friend C had a mama moment and told me that the money I spent on my band would be wasted if I don't exercise. She said that I am no longer allowed to ride the elevator at work unless Tom Cruise was waiting on me. My email reply: Can it be unless Clive Owen is waiting on me? I tried walking up the two flights of stairs and made it through 36 steps before my legs started burning. The last 12 of 48 were a killer. *gasp*cough*gasp*cough*cough. But I did it! This morning, as is my routine upon arriving to work, I hailed the elevator and, as I stepped on, I saw a half sheet of paper taped to the wall of the elevator. There, looking out at me, was Clive Owen. The words read "You weren't really going to take the elevator were you?....... I'm watching you....... You never know where I'll be....... xoxoxo - Clive." Which caused me to laugh out loud. And turn around. And walk up to the second floor to see my friend C, laughing the whole way. She said she had been waiting to hear my laugh. And then she apologized for forgetting that I work on the third floor, stating that I need to start small. Silly C. And yet, I still have a smile on my face, glancing frequently at Clive Owen looking out at me from the side of my computer monitor.

Soooo I'm set to be sleeved tomorrow at 7:30am!! I'm excited but as the days wound down Im getting very nervous!! Ive lost somewhere around 15lbs since I started this 2 week pre-op liquid diet! So far the weight loss is the only thing keeping me on the right path. My brain is on overload or withdrawals or something!! I feel like I'm breaking up with food, FOREVER!! I know this might seem stupid, but I really am kinda sad!! In my head I know there is nothing but good things to come out of this and I KNOW I will get over this!! I suppose I'm mourning the loss of my old ways, my old life. I was so comfortable and felt secure with the way I ate. Food has become a best friend, a confidante. On the other hand, it is what's made me unhappy for so long! I KNOW having surgery IS the best thing for me. I'm just having a hard time dealing with the mental right now! Did any of you guys go through this?? I need some encouraging words!!

If you didn't see 'Dr. Oz' the other day, the topic was 'Can you really have an addiction to food?' I know, you're all screaming 'YES!' right along with me. It was interesting as the polls of people were pretty split as were the expert's opinions. The Nutritionist's view was that over-eating is behavioral...driven by emotions, learned behavior, and will power. OK, umm, as a yo-yo dieter now skinny b*tch I can personally tell you that anyone who has ever lost big weight dieting has WAY more will power than the average skinny b*tch...When did they ever white knuckle off 50 pounds while starving and shaking waiting for the next meal (I still wonder why I don't get the shakes now on this teeny amount of food). Anyway, the Doctor's view was that there are certain foods (four of them...at least at this point) that trigger the release of natural opiates in our brain that make us feel good and want to come back for more. I think it's a combination of both addiction and emotions. One study used a medicine that is used to help heroin addicts from overdosing by blocking receptors in the brain that the heroin attaches to. They gave it to chocolate addicts and found that 'chocolate hijacks your brain chemistry, triggering the same receptors that heroin affects'. Great...I'm officially an addict. Apparently those around me knew this before I did...Here's a present I got from my SIL for Christmas this year: You can read the Doctor's article and see the three other foods that are addictive on the Oz site HERE. Come follow me on my blog HERE

Wow, I can't believe I'm seven days post-op! For a few days there I didn't think I would ever start feeling better. Started this morning off with 2 lightly scrambled eggs (1/2 c.) giving me 14g of protein off the bat. Then I met my mom & dad at a local mall to walk. It was GREAT. The Mills Mall in St. Louis was all the rage when it opened and now its a glorified walking track. Found it hilarious that my parents were waving at everyone, saying hi to new friends they've made as if they were local celebrities. Of course we had to stop twice for my mom to poop- guess thats where I get my obsession with poop from? Its all coming to me now.....hahaha. Then I thought I would spice it up acting like a crazy excersise lady raising my arms to and fro as if I was holding weights, clapping, saying loudly, "yeah, feel the burn, whoooo!~" So proud of my parents- although I must be adopted because I certainly didn't get any fat genes from them (they are both relatively normal size), but my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. It was definitely a wake up call for everyone in the family. They still party it up drinking at the local "tavern" with their friends, but their diet has COMPLETELY changed. They walk everyday with two of my aunts at the mall. If they can do it, so can I. No excuses. My find of the day were a set of 8 really cute baby spoons! I know the things that excite me in life, right? My husband commented on the fact that he thought I was eating too fast. Listen here buddy, you try eating liquids for a week and then when you are blessed with a 1/2 c of ANYTHING tell me YOU wouldn't eat it fast. Funny though, contrary to him thinking I DON"T listen, I took his words and purchased baby spoons. Let me tell you- that was a fun shopping experience.....do I go with the Transformer spoon, Cinderella, or the Dora. Choices, choices........then I spotted a package of 8 various colors NO CARTOON spoons and the handle is long! PERFECT. Enjoying my greek yogurt with my new blue spoon. Life is good.

I don't have much to update on right now. I just wanted to mention that so far I've lost the 40 pounds with no exercise what so ever. I know, it's absolutely horrible! I could make a gazillion excuses, but I won't bother. I'm realistic enough to know that the weight loss WILL slow down so I definitely need to jump on the work out wagon. I am joining the local gym on Friday. It has been an expense issue for me up until now, but I have to do it! I've run out of excuses and it's just time to get a move on. My doc still doesn't want me lifting until after my next appointment. I was a little surprised at that but oh well. I don't mind just doing the treadmill and such. It's better than nothing!

So, in this wonderful adventure of pureed foods, I acquired some produce to make mashes: parsnips, turnips, cauliflower, red potatoes. Now, in Kuwait it is very challenging to keep fresh veggies from spoiling. Unfortunately, by the time I got around to doing my mashed parsnips and mashed cauliflower, both had begun to die slow, horrible deaths. I painstakingly salvaged what I could of the veg and commenced my juggling act of pots and emulsion mixer. Sadly, I ended up with far less mash than intended. This, however, is not the worst part. I finished the parsnips, put the cauliflower on to steam, and commenced to boiling the potatoes. I stepped away for a minute (not really a minute, but still) and by the time I returned to my pots both had begun to burn! I can see how I burned the steaming cauliflower - I don't have a steamer. But how did I burn a pot of boiling potatoes? Super skill. Again, I salvaged what I could and ended up with a small pot of mashed potatoes and about two cups of mashed cauliflower. My lemonade out of lemons. As it was time to feed myself (I'm still not hungry), I dished up a cup of mashed potatoes and added some sour cream. Now, since surgery I have been eating a cup of food every few hours to make sure that I am getting enough food into my body because my body is not sending me a signal that it needs food. This has been relatively successful. However, this time I ended up stopping after half a cup of food! I GOT FULL. On half a cup of mashed potatoes. The girl who used to have a couple of heaping serving spoonfuls of mashed potatoes (artfully sculpted into a scale model of Mt. Fuji with hidden butter magma inside which splooshed out upon squishing the volcano), was full on half a cup of unbuttered mashed potatoes! Amazing.

5 years ago I found myself 24 years old, 322 pounds, and minserable! I decided to have the lap band surgery with the help and support of my family. I successfully lost 90 pounds and my GERD, but couldnt keep up with the frequent and expensive band fills and eventually gained back 25 pounds and the GERD returned. I became demotivated and couldnt stick to a diet long enough to make much progress. Then, last year by eldest brother had the sleeve gastrectomy and went from being 280 pounds and unhappy, to an active marathon runner and happier than I can ever remember seeing him. Not to mention how handsome he looks! Needless to say, that inspired me to do my homeowork on revision surgery and reach out to my "family bariatric surgeon" Dr. James A Davidson (he complete my mother, father, brother and my surgeries). I was concerned that after my emergency gall bladder surgery 3 weeks ago that I would have to push back my surgery due to the weight loss as a side effect of the gall bladder illness. I started a protein shake diet to boost my health and it worked, Dr Davidson approved my bloodwork results and I had surgery on January 13th! The surgery was slightly longer and a bit more invasive since he had to first remove the lap band equipment, so it feels more painful than I remembered. On the bright side, the staff at Forest Park Hospital (Dallas, TX) were very compassionate and informative and the hospital itself is beautiful. I left feeling prepared to handle any issues that might arise and very optimistic. Its only 3 days post-op and I am feeling better everyday! I cannot wait to see my progess in a few weeks, months and especially in a year. I am also starting to put together an action plan. I want to participate in a marathon, learn to scuba dive, buy a bicycle and join a gym! All the things that I was either too embarrassed by my size or just too overweight to do!

Well I'm 5 weeks out, recently started soft diet. Glad to be able to eat "solid" foods and not pureed everything. Of course my first outing is to Red Lobster with out of town family. It was a victory for me. After waiting an hour I was actually hungry,, which is not usually the case. I shared a bowl of clam chowder with my hubby. No drinking during meal is still hard but getting used to it. Its funny telling the waiter.. no thanks nothing to drink for me.. not even water. For diner, I thought to eat from hubby's plate (he's good and lets me do that), but I really wanted grilled shrimp, so I ordered the grilled shrimp and brocolli. Cut up each shrimp into little small pieces and enjoyed!!.. Then becuase we waited so long for a table the manager gave us deserrts on the house. Most deserts in RedLobster is a la mode, so I had a few spoonfuls of icecream and I was totally satisfied and had shrimp for lunch the next few days. I had a great time with family, friends and my sleeve!!