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Ok... enough of being a sad sack. I got through 1 week of almost carbless living and I didn't die. I used my food journal everyday, which for me is the hardest part. My RD gave me an 8.5x11 piece of paper to track my food and feelings. 1 sheet for each day. No way! Than I moved to a homemade excel masterpiece, double sided, 4 days per sheet. Nope! Now, Ive got a 3x4 Snoopy notebook. re-written it all. not charting feelings, cuz I'm not eating with my feelings. I only eat what I bring and that not very much (to work that is). Now, some of you might say "Ellie, why not use your phone?". To you, I say...I don't have a Smartphone... I have a Dumbphone.

Ten days! Aside from my abdomen feeling "tight" as my body heals and my incisions stinging and itching, it feels weird to think that today is only the tenth days since surgery. I have settled back into my regular, crazy routine and am adapting well to my new diet. I must say, though, that it's very nice to not have to drink broth anymore. Theater - Rehearsals for "Arsenic and Old Lace" are in full swing and I am working on developing my character. Am I stern? Am I independent? Am I the one who forced my crazy, sociopathic nephew to move away? I think yes. But then again, I do believe it is charitable to put lonely old bachelors out of their misery by poisoning their wine... Teeth - I have found it rather difficult to come by chewable vitamins in this country. Thus, I opted for a liquid multivitamin which, as it turns out, tastes awful. Today I had my second dose and I can assure you it will be my last. As I was taking the elevator downstairs during my break, I scrutinized myself in the mirror, as I am prone to do, and noticed that the edges of my incisors (front teeth) were rather dark. Having worked as a dental assistant in my first career, I instantly freaked out, fearing that this change in diet had somehow had adverse effects on my oral health! At the end of my break, having rationalized what could possibly be the cause of said darkening, I stuck out my tongue in the mirror and learned that it, too, was rather black. I immediately commenced to brushing my teeth and tongue with vigor (I hate - gag - brushing - gag - my tongue) and had some significant success. However, it would appear that I now need to make an appointment with the dentist to get my teeth pumiced sooner than my six month check up five months from now. Grrr. Next mission: dispose of liquid multivitamin (made in Ireland - perhaps an explanation for the notoriously poor appearance of the teeth of those in that area; apologies for the over generalization) and hunt again for a chewable.

Okay since Wednesday, I have had two throwing up episodes. The first time was salad. This morning it happened again. I apologize for the TMI but I really want to know if this is the norm. I had about half an omlette, chewed and ate slowly. I started to feel uncomfortable in my chest area and next thing I knew, I was running to the bathroom. The food came up like balls and lots of slime came out too. I'm assuming this is normal. I'm a bit confused because I did what I was supposed to and I really didn't eat that much at all. Obviously, I did something wrong but I'm not sure what. Even though this part of the band is gross, it makes me super excited to know that it's working!! Also, it felt so much better after I got it out. As an update, I was in a wedding last night. It was a lot of fun and I received lots of compliments. I hope to have pictures later. I was too busy to take any myself, but I'm sure others have some. I felt soo pretty and the dress was really flattering! This band has made me feel so much better about myself and I am grateful for that. Oh, and I also caught the bouquet for the first time ever!! And I danced my behind off (good exercise!). Anyways, I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

These last few days since i had my surgery are the first few positive days ive had.. Ive begun my own diet that caters to my likes but is still 10 times less then what i used eat. I started the gym now coz the doc said im fit and ready to go and feels fantastic after it. I even went for walk on the beach with my new puppy. I have so much energy i dont no what to do with it. I still have no restriction but i know now that when i do I will be mentally and physically able to handle the dip in food. It feels good to finally feel proud of myself. Nite x x x

Right before I had my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me. The idea of me losing weight intimidated the life out of him. That was in May of 2011. I had my surgery in August 2011. I have lost 70 pounds. Recently I have been kicking around the idea of getting back on the horse so to speak. I have gone on a few first dates. I have tried to set it up to where we do not eat on these dates. More like a sit and talk and drink coffee date. I honestly have no idea how to explain my decision to a stranger. So far it hasn’t been a problem. To be fair, the guys I have dated so far have been…well let’s just say we haven’t been compatible. I’ve been talking to a new guy lately. I like him. I like him a lot. He is very different from anyone I have ever met. He wants to take me out to dinner. I am nervous about eating in front of him. I thought if I ordered soup maybe it would be okay. But I know from experience that people freak out when they see how little I eat. I dread the idea of his first impression of me. I dread having to explain that I have had VSG. I really like this guy. And to be honest- I am tired of dating. I had pretty much just given up when I met him. He wants to go out next weekend. I am nervous and worried. I like him- I didn’t really like the others.

Welcome 2012! Not that the old year was bad really, although the ending was tough for whatever reason, but I have super high hopes for 2012! I had some amazing things happen for me last year, that's for sure, and the MOST amazing thing of course was getting my band. It has changed my life HUGELY!! I have started off the new year weighing 115 pounds less than I did at the start of 2011. Can I get an AMEN??! For a lot of the past 9 months I've weeded out a lot of old clothes that don't fit, tossed them into piles and passed them along to others who could wear them. I need to do that again. I save stuff thinking that it will be okay even if it's a little too big.. but my vain self has become hyper-critical and I can barely stand to wear anything anymore that's too big. I know, it's a curse. I do still have some hoodies that are big and which I love, but for the most part, if it hangs on me, it gets tossed in the bag! I went to see my surgeon's nurse three days ago to discuss a fill, and determined that it wasn't necessary, which wasn't surprising at all. She told me that my next appointment would be with my surgeon, to discuss my final goal. I'm much closer than I thought I would be now, and I hope these last 20 or so pounds won't be too difficult to drop! From the very beginning I've been excited to see "my other butt" emerge, and I can say today that it has.. and it looks damn good comparatively! It needs work though. Lots of work! My workout goals have changed now to accommodate that realization. It's time to tone kids! I've been lax. Well, up until a couple of weeks ago I was super lax, but I'm getting better, and it feels fabulous! I've discovered the great workout that Ping-Pong can be! Go ahead, laugh! But it's true! I play a few times a week, and it feels pretty amazing the next day to have worked out muscles that I hadn't in quite awhile. Plus it's FUN! I'm really looking forward to some warm weather now! Definitely a new thing for me! I've always loved winter, and truth be told, it's because I could wear more clothes to hide behind. Sweatshirts layered over other crap just served as a bigger wall for me. It's taken me some time to break that habit in the past year. I'm doing pretty good with it now though, and I'm looking forward to fewer clothes for the first time in 28 years or so! I'm also looking forward to playing disc golf, walking, playing with the kiddos outside, swimming, boating, and yes even fishing as the weather warms up and I can get out there to play! I'm sorry winter.. I know I'm being disloyal, but I don't need you anymore to hide behind! It feels really fantastic to say that! The picture I'm using this month was taken a few days ago to show for my 9 month band birthday! I need to take a better one of my butt, maybe that will be here for my 10 month pic! If you are just starting out on your lapband journey, let me say that YOU CAN DO THIS!! You deserve the rewards that will come with the hard work! And yes, it IS hard work. Some days it's been the easiest thing in the world, but psychologically, and physically, it can be grueling to step outside of old habits that have kept you fat for this long, the worst part was honestly getting beyond the head hunger, and learning to listen to my body! But once the weight started coming off it got much easier to do the work, and reap the rewards! Follow me at: http://www.myotherbutt.blogspot.com Thanks for stopping by!