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In 30 days I will be giving myself the best tool I can find to get my life back. I have tried for a couple of years now to work with insurance companies and it just didn't work out. Either they didn't cover the procedure, didn't deem it medically necessary, or I lost my insurance as soon as I got approval, or my employer didn't pay my insurance premiums - its just been one thing after another. I tried 5 times with insurance companies. Not always their fault, certainly not mine. This time, I've got the power in my own hands. I have the funds to do it myself (pay for the surgery, not perform the surgery - although I would if they would let me! haha) I'll be heading to Mexico the day after my birthday to have the surgery. Dr. Almanza will be performing it. I have done a TON of research. I know that this is the best option for me. I probably won't stay in the recovery house, but at the hotel with my husband. I can't stand being around people when I don't feel well - especially if they don't feel well too. I would like to have my husband be comfortable and he won't be unless he's WITH me. I understand that I will be in a surgical clinic - I'm fine with that - in fact, I prefer it. Hospitals are the biggest source of infections there is - why? because there's SICK people there! I don't feel I need an ICU on hand. I don't have any comorbidities to worry about. I'm actually in relatively good health now that I'm past the heavy metal poisoning and unfortunately I'm left with about 200 lbs extra of me from the aftermath of the treatment of chelation and steroids. I of course didn't help matters - I was weak and couldn't exercise. I was pumped full of steroids and was unsatiably hungry at all times. I made poor food choices a lot of the time. Would I still be in this situation if I had made the best food choices? Yes. But probably not as bad. In conjunction with my surgery, I'll have additional treatment for all the steroid damage. I'm looking forward to getting my life back. It hasn't been all that long that I've been without it. This all started in late 2007. So its been 4 years. 4 years since I've been a size 10. 4 years since I ran 5 miles a day. 4 years since my husband looked at me like I was absolutely the only person on the planet besides him. 4 years since I've had the confidence to be who I am. I can't wait to have that back. Just recently, I've realized my actual size. Wow did that hit me hard. Before, and sometimes still, I feel myself to be a "normal" sized person. Hopefully that will help with body image issues. My body was never perfect, but I was comfortable with it. That's all I want to be - healthy, active, and comfortable. Here's to that goal.

I did it! I'm finally on the other side. Surgery day was definitely the hardest. I wanted something to drink the entire day but that wasn't allowed. To keep my mouth moist I brushed my teeth and gargled water. The hospital gave me a binder and that made things so much easier. I was able to get in and out of bed with ease and walking was so much easier. My back and stomach were supported and no pain. I walked the entire night and I think that was my key to success. It awoke my bowels and I didn't have any of the horrible gas pain. The day after surgery I had my upper gi test to check for leaks. I sipped the barium. They kept trying to get me to drink more, but I knew sipping was advised. Sipping is so important and probably the most frustrating. No more gulping. I need to keep moving so I'm planning a walk with husband to get me back in the swing of things. The hunger is gone. I'm no longer starving or agonizingly hungry. I don't have the urge to stick whatever is nearby in my mouth. It's the most peculiar feeling. Wishing you all the best on your journeys.

I went to the gym today and was on the sit down bike for an hour without realizing it. I was playing Trade Nations and Words with Friends on my iphone the whole time so the time must have whizzed on by. I don't own a scale at home so only weigh myself at the gym like once a week so I don't get discouraged. It said 260!! I don't remember the last time I was that weight, had to have been in junior high when I wore a size 16. Thus far, I've lost like 40 lbs since the surgery and pre-op liquid diet. My biggest weight was 400 lbs right out of college so I joined Weight Watchers. $90 short later, I was still 400 but was addicted to their ice cream sandwiches. I slowly started losing the weight over the years by ceasing all fast food and soda so finally reached 300 but could not lose another pound. I was at my high school weight now so figured it was OK and maintained that weight somehow. Things all changed when I turned 29 and my mom died of cancer at only 52. It was so hard visiting her at Parkland hospital in Dallas. She was always 100 lbs + heavier than I but she loss 200 lbs as she lay there with a tube down her throat. I was hoping things would get better for her but her body lost the fight. I kept having images in my head of myself in her place but there was no family visiting me. I've never had a boyfriend and have only been on one date in college in my life. My weight had always been the excuse for why I couldn't have a love life like everyone else seemed to have. I was only 29 but felt my knees hurt when I walked, had sleep apnea, hypothyroidism and high blood pressure. Things were only going to get worse for me in the years to come. Right then and there I knew I had to do something, but what? A few days after my mom's death I found myself at work trying to hide my tears. I had started the job only last year so didn't want to ask for some time off. A lady named Felicia that I had been well-acquainted with came by and was looking so much slimmer. It turned out that she had had bariatric sleeve surgery back in December but bought some clothes that fit her. I had never heard about sleeve surgery but was going to get the band back when I was 24. My dad's insurance would not cover it since I was going to be 25 and off the plan the following year. Felicia told me all about the sleeve surgery and even told me her doctor's name, Wade Barker M.D. He was in our insurance's network so would be covered! I immediately searched for him and found his website, then submitted a form. A few hours later, a nice receptionist at his office called me and I made an appointment for the following Thursday for a consultation. I knew that I had made the right step towards taking control of my life instead of let my food addiction dig me an early grave. Now I am almost 1 month post-op and have lost 40 lbs. When I walk I no longer feel pain, sleep better and hope my high blood pressure will be gone when I go back for the monthly follow up appointment in January. I know now that I am on the fast track to wellness and have my whole life ahead of me. The future is finally clear with the food craving and addiction completely gone. My new addiction has been cable TV but I'm trying to force myself to be more productive with my time. (: Lots of love, Becky

OMG! I put on my drawstring scrubs to go to work this mornin got out of the car and my pants started falling off! For those who dont know, scrubs are what people in the medical field wear to work, and drawstrings fit the waist because you have to pull and then tie them current pant size: XL new pant size: Medium........Its been almost 1 month on Jan 1st and people can tell already !!!!!!!!!!!! So happy ......Oh and the pictures I took over christmas, look great, I dont look like a "chocolate puffy marshmellow" I look normal! Great Day

Ok, my husband will probably kill me if he read this. Today for the First time I can rememberin my married life: I weighed less then my husband. Three pounds lighter. I was so excited. I felt so good. He laughed at how happy I was. Most skinny woman are smaller then their husbands,this is a new thing for me. I know I should be so happy but it was like christmas all over again.

Week One: Hello all. I am one week post op from my Gastric Banding surgery. I had my band placed laproscopically last Monday. They kept me over night which was a surprise to me. I was planning on going home, but since my surgery got pushed to later in the day, I got to stay. It was the best thing to stay overnight. One more night without my three small children,snuggling me was actually a very good idea. Mommy was home from hospital by time thy got home from school and daycare. They were very excited. On the morning of my surgery I dropped into my daughter's class room to give her a kiss. As I was leaving I overheard her tell her second grade class," my mommy's having tummy surgery so she can can get healthy and play with me for the rest of my life." Sweet. Now a week later, I am doing really well. I feel really good. I’m not at all hungry. Recovering nicely, incisions almost healed. Still need to watch what I do. Careful not to bend at waist, no lifting for a couple weeks. Somehow these are hard things for me to remember. The sudden pain or soreness usually reminds me, along with Steve, my husband, who is always there to scold me and lift heavy things. hristmas day was the toughest day. I was really tired by the end of the day. I did too much. So took some pain meds and and went to sleep. Hardest thing for me is to actually get enough liquid down. Today I actually had to go to dentist and get a crown replaced so I really don't want to eat anything. Right now I’m on a total liquid diet for another week, then soft mushy food for a couple weeks until I can eat real food again by end of month. I have lost a total of 27 pounds starting from my liquid diet two weeks prior to surgery and continuing now. More importantly my blood pressure has been normal for the last week without my hypertension medication, I have more energy and my BMI has drop down 3% already. I am so excited to be starting this chapter of my life. I planned to have my surgery this week, since I am in nursing school and on break til beginning of Feb. That way i would have enough time to heal and figure things out before I had to start back at classes and clinicals. I am a little worried over the fills and the restriction or lack of it. Right now I don't feel any restriction.I try to make sure I sip. But I have glupped a time or two. It didn't hurt ot bother me. So I am a little worried that I my eat(or drink) more than i should before my first fill. I am a little obsessed with my scale. I seem to hop on it every time I pass by it. Not the best idea. your weight changes through out the day and can be mental annoying when it jumps up a pound when you haven't eaten anything. So for all you newly banded, I knew it really cool to see your weight come off in the first week, it can also consume you. So try to weigh yourself once a day at most and at the same time. otherwise you will drive yourself crazy. Facebook Updated: So today I took a big mental step: I changed my facebook status and let everyone knew I had surgery. Many people have different thoughts on bariatric surgery, which is why I didn’t write about it at first. I was afraid what they may think of me. Maybe I was trying the "easy way" out- which we all knew this is not! My classmates at nursing school knew, family friends, strangers. So why is it scary to put on facebook? Maybe it the high school reunion effect. You have all those "friends" from high school or college, a lifetime ago, you haven't seen in years,who you really didn't talk to much than maybe, but they knew you before you were heavy. Somehow, as they have been looking at your facebook pages over the last year or so they were see you as you were 25 years before and haven't noticed that you are 100 pounds heavier. So if you actually put it in writing -that you are obese they may have the rose cover glasses removed and see you for who you are today. Or was it more that I would be accoutable now to my facebook friends? I let the cat out of the bag. They would be watching for the results. I realized I was afraid of failing publicily. So the more I thought about the more a realized what an amazing person I am. I am proud of my life so far and my choice to have Gastric banding done. They want to watch me on my journery than I would be more likely to follow a truer road. I decided that letting my facebook friends know would help push me along and keep me honest. I had a similar plan for my nursing school success. I started posting my exam grades early on so that I have to do well, since everyone was expecting me to post my grade. It hurt having to post a B instead of an A sometimes. I soon realized that I going public made me try even harder. I did get all A's after I posted that one B. So now that this banded bunny is out there, lets see how well we can do together!