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THE BEAST HAS ARRIVED. With all the holiday hustle and bustle, I find myself having difficulties eating the proper foods and making it to the gym. I was only able to go one day last week because of dr appts and being sick. I never thought I would say I miss exercising. Sunday I went to a Christmas party at my friend's house. She is a fabulous cook and there was food galore. I stuck to my convictions pretty well, but did find myself munching on the stuffed and bacon wrapped dates. They were so delicious. SHAME ON ME. Yester was not much better with eating because I had errands to do in town. And because I do not want my family to feel left out because I am dieting (or should I say finally living), I am still baking and preparing foods for my family beause I don't want them to feel deprived because of me...the good thing is that I am only making half as much of the goodies...no double batches this year. When it is gone, it is gone, and I will not be helping myself! Today I am happy to say I am managing to get into the swing of things and get back on the wagon and am feeling pretty good about things. I am even going to make it to the gym this afternoon. NO EXCUSE NOT TO GO! This is time of year is among my favorite. I love the festivities and the gathering of family and friends and good times. I have discovered that I am a social eater and therein lies the BEAST. So much of our lives (me and my family/friends) i surrounded by food and drink, and since my hubby is Italian, the theory is EAT, EAT, EAT, or in Italian, Mange, Mange, Mange. That is how I came to become almost 300 pounds...that and because they are easily insulted if you don't eat (is that because they are such wonderful cooks?) Anyway, this is my way of venting and releasing my frustrations. I am going to need to stay focused, and remember my motto, "hunger is a figment of my imagination".

I was doing some Xmas shopping today and I realized how addicted I was to fast-food. I never thought twice grabbing a couple tacos or cheeseburgers and down it with a big gulp of mt.dew while I did errands in town. Some days I would have fast-food twice in one day! So today I was in mourning, just the thought of not having fast food saddens me. But fast food is how I got to be so overweight. Each bite I took added numbers to the scale, inches on my hips, and more chins then I can count. This is a whole new world for me. I need to accept the fact that I'm not the person that I once was. This will be a long road for me and it's not going to be easy. BUT, it will allllll be worth it when I'm able to love myself again and embrace life. And besides, I might be able to buy myself a new car with all the money I will be saving from not buying tacos, cheeseburgers, and big gulp mt.dew's!!

Today is day 14 post op. Overall I feel like I am doing ok. I am doing well getting in all the supplements. However, I am really struggling with getting the protein in. I was allowed to add them back on day 8. I was actually excited about it until I tried it. Having read about so many people's experience with protein post op, I prepared myself and had a lot of different types on hand. I didn't expect to have problems as I didn't pre op. As soon as I put the cup to my mouth I could smell it and it was awful. I put it in the one oz medicine cups I have and was just trying to get it down with my nose pinched. Soon enough I started gagging. I gave up on that one and later tried a different brand with the same result. I went through so many others. I was so frustrated with myself, I kept telling myself just get this down and you will feel better and heal faster. The self talk wasn't helping. I ended up posting a topic for advice and got help. I bought some pre made muscle milk light and have been doing just fine with that. Pre made shakes are a no on my doctor's list but it fits all of his criteria for protein shakes. I will stay on it until Week 4 when I can add in soy or almond milk to the protein powder. Hopefully that will help. I go back to work on Friday, which I am a bit nervous about. I get tired pretty easily. I will be on light duty, no lifting anything over 5lbs. It's still a 12hr shift at an Urgent Care Clinic. I weighed in today for a total of 227.4 lbs that is a total of 23 lbs lost post op. My surgery weight was 250lbs, needless to say I am pretty happy about it.

I am 17 days post op. I have a 10cc band. Dr. Fox put 1cc in my band at the time of surgery. I am feeling some restrictions (tighting of my chest after small meals (less than 3/4 of cup) that last 3-4 hours). It appears my band is open a little during the day but after 8:00 pm is really opens as I can eat a lot more at night. I was told I still may have some swelling that is causing the restrictions. My first fill appointment is scheduled for January 4, 2012. I have not decided if I am going to get a fill or not. I have views many of what I feel are horror stories resulting from fills. I have lost 13 pounds since my initial appointment with True Results on November 18, 2011 (surgery date 12/2/2011). I am at 181 pounds and my goal weight is 145 pounds. My incisions are healing very well. I have learned soo much from reading this forum. This site has definitely been my support through this process.