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So here I am 6 days out of surgery.. it has been one hell of a journey already. Up until today I was getting dangerously close to being hospitalized for dehydration. And to make matters worse the gas pains were unbearable. And the icing on the cake.. aunt flow decided to start two days after surgery.. lol.. lucky me. So night before last I had asked my mom to get me some gas x, which really really really helped. And thankfully my periods only last about 3 days and are very light, so today it ended.. whew! When I woke up this morning I felt like a new person.. no gas pain, no cramps, just a little tenderness near my incisions was all the discomfort I felt. I was so excited that I decided to go for a walk outside.. which is nice because I literally hadn’t been outside since I had the surgery. I barely got out of bed for most of the 6 days. But, today I went for a walk around the block which was about a mile and a half and it felt GOOD!!!!!! Furthermore, I decided to weigh myself…. He he he.. this is where I just got a huge grin… on the day of surgery 12-12-11 I weighed in 238.1….. as of today 12-18-11 I weigh 230! I haven’t seen that number in over a year! And what really made me laugh is I have an appetite, so I go eat my jello or my cream of wheat and take a few bites and im stuffed! The only thing that goes thru my head is… HELL YEAH BABY!!!! I LOVE MY NEW TUMMY.. I AM GONNA LOVE TO EAT AND FEEL FULL EARLY IN THE MEAL AND NOT FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO DEVOUR MY ENTIRE LASAGNA THAT I COULD HAVE GOTTEN FROM BUCA DI BEPPO (FAMILY STYLE RESTAURANT) BASICALLY YOU ARE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT AND ENTIRE PLATE TO YOUR SELF!. In fact I wake up and I WANT let me repeat that I WANT TO START EXERCISING…. I almost can’t wait. In 6 days I dropped 8 lbs, my face I already thinner, I am freakin happy, and I have energy. VSG---- I LOVE YOU!

In less than 3 days I will be happy to add Portia to my family (that is going to be the name of my lap band/port system). Portia is Latin for gift and she will be a happy gift for yours truly. I have not felt scared or anxious, just excited. I am ready to get rid of all this excessive baggage that I have carried around like a badge of poor choices and regret. I just wish that I had been able to do this 15 years ago honestly. The pre-op liquid diet continues and with just two more days to go, I have lost 11 pounds. I am thrilled. More than that, I am thrilled that I wont be gaining it back. I understand that in the hospital you get loaded up on fluids from the IV and so forth, so I won't be upset if there is a gain because I know one good pee and it will be gone. LOL. I am not even anxious about the pain involved afterward either, because I know it is temporary and will pass with each day. I am happier than I have ever been about anything and I am ready to change my life and move forward. No more looking back and certainly no more wallowing in how bad I look and feel right now. Good things are ahead for me...and for you as well. Good luck to all of you having surgery this week and Congrats to those who have had it done. Take care, Jen

Just wanted to let everyone know that I found some fantastic silverware for lap banders. I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday and they pointed me to some appetizer spoons and forks. They are classy looking, silver, and come in a box of 12 for $15 each. The size of the utensils will help with keeping the bites small and the looks of them are nice for the dining table. If worse had come to worse I would have just eaten my food with a baby spoon that had Peter Rabbit on the end of it, but thankfully that won't be the case now. ; ) So, I wanted to let you know about my find. Also, they have adorable little tasting plates and bowls that are just right for our portions and they look fantastic. I bought a couple plates, but I plan to go back and get more. Hey, I am going to be eating like this forever and I want something nice to eat off of and with. Take care, Jen

I quit smoking over 12 years ago. I didn't want to quit smoking; I quit because my husband had serious heart problems. If he didn't quit, his doctor said he would live 10 more years. My husband stated point blank that he would not be able to successfully quit if I was smoking. I recall feeling panicky at having to quit smoking. In my nicotine addicted mind, cigarettes were paired with so many activities and I couldn't imagine enjoying any of them without a cigarette. Before we quit, I wanted to go on vacation because I couldn't imagine relaxing at the beach without smoking. I wanted to go our favorite steak restaurant so I could have a post-dinner cigarette with a glass of port in the lounge. I wanted to go to Atlantic City and play the slot machines. It took me many years to realized that my pairing of pleasurable activities with cigarettes was a component of my nicotine addiction. Prior to being banded, I started having those same panicked pairing of activities. Could I enjoy a meal at a restaurant without overeating? Would I enjoy holidays without overeating? Could I go to a theme park and not gorge on junk food? I am still learning to live with my band. But I am confident that I am unpairing pleasure from food addiction. Thanksgiving was a wonderful day and meal. I savored the few bites of cheesecake (low fat/no sugar) that I tasted. I enjoyed our office holiday lunch and ordered a drink and an appetizer. Because I ate slowly and chatted while I was eating, I finished my meal around the same time as the people that had three courses. I went to Disney and ordered kids meals; I was satisfied with the portion sizes and saved a lot of $$$. I know that overcoming a food addiction is a process. However recognizing that I have one is a good beginning.

It's been a while since my last entry. It hasn't quite been 3 months since I had surgery. My official anniversay will be December 20. To date, I have lost 49 lbs. My Christmas goal was to be 50 lbs lighter but since I am so close to achieving that goal I amended it. My new goal is to be a total of 55 lbs lighter by Dec. 31. During my short journey there are things that I am still learning like the importance of slowing down when I eat, not eating too much, not drinking while I eat, and the the ever present vitamin! I take my multivitamin on a daily basis it's the calcium citrate that I sometimes forget. Lately, exercise has been null and void. I know... I have to get better with this. I'm sure the weight would melt off faster if I incorporated a regular routine. Not all is lost...I do eat healthy and I am very conscious of my protein intake. At my last doctor's appointment I was told the majority of my protein should come from food and that I should only use the shake as a supplement if I miss a meal. Another plus is since surgery which was on September 20, I have gone from a snug size 20 to a comfortable 16. Ross has become my very best friend. They have some really cute and affordable clothes in there. Despite the smaller clothes, to me I look exactly the same. I guess I'll see what everybody else sees soon enough. This has been an amazing, life changing, well worth it experience!

I know how to eat healthily. I know that when something tastes good, I will continue to eat, regardless of whether or not I'm full. I know that when I lose weight, I look great, I feel great physically, I am more confident and out-going. I know that my husband loves me regardless of my body size. I know that my husband finds me attractive regardless of my body size. I know that I can make changes that are good for me. I know that I can break bad habits. I know that I have never learned to maintain my weight. I am in a constant state of weight change, either gaining or losing. I am hopeful that the band will be the tool (along with my NUT) to help me learn to maintain my weight. I know that I allow myself to let my weight hold me back. I have avoided seeing friends and relatives because I am ashamed of my appearance. I know that food is not medicine, and it is certainly not a panacea to cure all that ails me. Eating won't cure depression, sadness, loneliness. Food will not cure a cold, a headache, a stomach ache, or anything else. I know that I am worthy of being healthy and happy.