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It isn’t easy coming out of the closet “so to speak”. When I decided to do the gastric sleeve the only two people who knew were my husband and daughter. It was the shame I felt to tell anyone else. The guilt I felt inside that I wasn’t able to take the weight off on my own. Recently, I ran into an old friend. Looking at me she said “Maddy you have lost so much weight how you did it?” I have to admit; I actually hesitated for a moment...and said nothing. Later, I thought to myself why did I hesitate to tell her? The only thing that came to mind was the simple word “fear”. Why do we feel the need to hide our decision to have bariatric surgery? Is it because of low self esteem? The urgency of keep this big dark secret private or is it due to the way society sees fat people? We live with the constant advertising campaigns flashing thin stick models while we the “fat people” struggle to keep the scale from tipping. The dying “to be thin attitude”. The Taboo word “bariatric” does not fit into this world… until now. Today, we have the means to achieve weight goals we never had before. Folks like me who have battled the scale for years now have alternatives. So why hide this amazing news? This week I did just that. I told my folks about my gastric sleeve. To my amazement they were supportive and very happy I took this journey. I cannot express to you how important it is to have family and friends to support you during your life changing weight loss. And it is indeed both mentally and physically a change. I now talk openly and candidly about my surgery. What amazing changes that has occurred over the last 5 months. Today, I am no longer on any medications to help me control my sugar, cholesterol or blood pressure. A MAJOR milestone in my life. I blog and chat with other people who have gone through bariatric surgery. I did an online survey asking three questions… how many people have you told? Did you tell your friends? Have you told your family? To my amazement, 73% told less than 5 people, 76% did not tell their friends and more than 79% did not tell their family. Its sad that we feel the need to hide from this. Today, bariatric surgery is a useful necessity for those like me who just could not lose the weight. It’s time we stood up and made our voices heard that bariatric surgery is no longer a shameful procedure and see it as an amazing tool to good health.

U have to find the positive in this. How much have you lost since you got your band and how much do you think you would have lost without it.>>

Will be praying for you. Best of Luck! I can't wait for my day!

very true. Good info.

She has issues and they are not yours! LOL Enjoy your success and don't let anyone steal your joy.

When people tend to act like that they generally act like that no matter what you do or do not choose to tell. What I mean is if you shared, you might of had a negitve reaction anyway. Obviously she is one that is put off easily. It is not like you are sisters or forever friends, where not that it is right but her hostility would make more sense. Pray for her and enjoy your new you! lol

Jennifer, believe in your self. Yes this is hard, and I think we all thought this would be our saving grace and all knowing answer to life long diet frustrations. But the one thing we all still bring to the table after lap band surgery is our behavior. That bad behavior you refer to is not going to change overnight just becasue some doctor put a band around our stomach, it takes time. As for self control, none of us have it. If you took my band away todo, I know I would gain weight. I struggle daily with making healthy choices and rewiring years of bad behavior. Holidays coming up and lets just all admit it, it is going to suck,,, If we let it. I appreciate your post and getting out frustrations on paper costs us a lot less calories than a snack. This has been my hardest conquest, learning not to eat when I am furstrated or worried. You can do this, and do not reqret telling others, that is our one thing that makes us stay accountable to ourselves. As for your friends telling you to use self control, sadly they are correct but you are also correct if we had self control we would not have a band around our stomach. I call my band insurance, it is that little extra I have to pay ever day just to make sure I have a safety net and a healthier life. You can do this, think of this as a small road block. Best of luck and know we all believe in you and know you can be successful.

I have a co-worker that I am close to and have not told. I have someone I consider a step-mom that I have not told. I do not think I owe anybody exclusive information on my life unless I am led to. They should all respect that. Obviously your health and well-being is not of concern here...just her feelings. She will be ok and so will you. Keep focus on your goals...

i'm sorry to hear you are struggling. sounds like you are doing your best under the circumstances! treat this like the pre-op diet - just 20 days until the fill, 19 days, 18 days etc. - a true countdown. Best of luck to you!!!!

Please!! You don't owe her anything!! The nerve!!! If anyone should be explaining and apologizing, it should be her!!! Congrats and keep up the good work!!!